Chapter Twenty Nine
“Mind telling me what just happened?” Lydia asked. “I didn’t send you my thoughts. Even I could tell you were lying.”
Kira’s fingers had finally stopped tingling, but the emotions she’d experienced still lingered. “I’m not sure. I think I saw your memories. It was like I had a stack of photographs and flipped through them really fast, catching glimpses of people and places I didn’t recognize. And it wasn’t only what I saw, I felt things too.”
“You saw my memories?”
Kira shrugged. “I guess. What were you thinking about?
Lydia plopped onto the small bench. “I wasn’t thinking about anything, I was arguing with Octavion, remember?”
Kira knelt in front of her, being careful not to touch her this time. “But you were arguing about whether or not you were going to tell me about the night your mom died. Isn’t it possible those thoughts were in your head?”
Lydia was quiet for a long moment, first rubbing the spot on her wrist where her injury had been, then glancing at the Crystor. “I guess it could happen, I mean . . . we really don’t know what that thing can do. Serena was bound to me only a couple weeks before . . . you know.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Kira extended her hands, palms up.
Lydia took a deep breath and bit down on her bottom lip. “Where do you want me to start?”
“That’s up to you. Before, I saw women in long flowing gowns dancing around the room. Was that the same night you were hurt?”
Lydia nodded.
“Well, start there, when you felt everything was okay. Before any of the bad stuff happened. Maybe you can ease into it.”
Lydia rubbed her sweaty palms on the legs of her jeans and closed her eyes, but instead of taking Kira’s hands, she inched forward, wrapping her fingers around her wrists, making for a firmer hold. Kira did the same.
Instantly, images splashed across Kira’s mind. At first, she felt confused because she didn’t recognize anyone, but as the seconds passed, it wasn’t only their hands that fused, but their minds and bodies as well. She felt as if she’d actually become Lydia. She smelled the overwhelming fragrance of flowers, felt a slight breeze on her face when a woman in a lavender gown danced past her. Kira even experienced every emotion that played with Lydia’s heart—she was happy—happier than Kira had ever been in her life.
The strangest part was that Kira experienced her own thoughts and emotions mixed in with Lydia’s, so when the next image flashed across her mind, she wasn’t sure how to react. Lydia saw Bastian’s face. In Lydia’s heart, she felt love and happiness, but in Kira’s, there was fear and hatred.
Lydia? Kira tried to pull her hands free.
It’s okay. It’s only a memory. He can’t hurt you. Lydia tightened her grip.
Can you feel my emotions? Kira asked.
No, but mine aren’t as strong. For a moment the images stopped. Maybe I can do this. Are you okay?
Yes, Kira answered. Keep going.
When Bastian’s face came back into view, he was spinning her around the room, but in silence. The one sense Kira couldn’t glean from Lydia’s memories was sound. Eerie quietness permeated the visions. A few more seconds passed when everyone in the room stopped dancing. Bastian led Lydia to a set of doors near the edge of the room. He bent to kiss her hand and smiled. Lydia’s heart skipped a beat, and Kira felt the blood rush to her cheeks.
Did you love him? Kira asked.
I thought I did, but . . . I’m not sure I know what love is anymore. Lydia loosened her grip, and the memory began to fade.
No, I want to see more, Kira begged. Show me Octavion—a happy time for him, Kira encouraged, hoping it would ease Lydia’s anxiety.
Lydia’s firm hold returned as did the ballroom scene, with its colorful gowns and elegant décor. The beat of the music was evident by the rhythm of their movements, even though she heard only silence. Lydia was still near the French doors, but had found a chair to sit on so she could rest her feet. There was no sign of her escort, Bastian, as she searched the crowd intently. Feeling the presence of her brother approaching, she straightened and brushed her hands down the skirt of her lavender gown with its white lace peeking out below the intricately embroidered hem.
The dancers parted, making a thin path for their prince as he wove his way between them. When his face came into view, it was Kira’s heart that leapt, not his sister’s. His hair was longer, pulled back into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. He wore black leather pants with a white tunic and thick black belt. The sleeves were long and full, reminding Kira of a pirate—a very young and handsome pirate.
Lydia’s joy from seeing him mixed nicely with Kira’s. He was so close Kira could almost feel his heart beating beneath his chest, a wild and erratic cadence that quickened her own pulse. He bent and took Lydia’s hand in his, pressing his lips to the lace glove that covered it. Kira felt Lydia’s lips curl into a smile and warmth return to her face.
What is he saying? Kira asked when his moving lips made no sound.
He’s just asked me to dance, but I refused. My feet hurt and Bastian will be coming soon with my juice.
Octavion leaned in and kissed her cheek, the warmth of his breath barely noticeable on Kira’s neck. She felt Lydia’s pulse increase and a feeling of excitement rush through her. Octavion’s face came back into view and he beamed with joy, his dimples deeply imbedded in his cheeks.
Tell me, Kira pleaded. What did he say to you?
Lydia let go and Octavion’s face faded into blackness. When Kira opened her eyes, Lydia was rubbing her wrists where Kira had been holding them. “I’d forgotten about that part, Kira. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? But you both looked so happy. Why did you stop?”
No longer connected to her emotions, Kira couldn’t tell why his words had upset Lydia so much. It was clear, however, that she struggled with something. Lydia brought her long braid in front and twisted it between her fingers.
“Please tell me. I want to know.” Kira wanted to reach for her, but held back, not sure if just a touch would cause their emotions to mesh again. “Please.”
Lydia dropped her hands to her lap, and searched Kira’s eyes for a long moment, then nodded. “All right, but . . . it’s something Octavion may not want you to know. He’s dealt with it the best he can. I’m not sure he would want it brought up. He blames himself for what happened that night—for being distracted.”
Kira was more than curious now. “Yet he wants you to deal with all your memories and feelings? That hardly seems fair.”
Lydia smiled briefly, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “True.” She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “I don’t know if I told you or not, but Octavion was Serena’s escort that night. He’d been seeing her in secret for a couple months because she was only fifteen and it was frowned upon. He didn’t want to ruin her reputation, so he chose to meet her only when she came to the castle to visit me. I was their unofficial chaperone.
“Anyway, she’d just turned sixteen three days before the ball and he’d already made a visit to her father. When he leaned in to whisper in my ear, he told me he was about to propose to Serena. He asked me to wish him luck.”
Kira’s heart didn’t just sink, it plummeted to the ground and rolled around in the dirt. “He was in love with Serena?” She didn’t know why she even bothered to ask. Her heart already knew the answer. That’s what he referred to when he reminded Lydia what he’d lost in all this. He’d lost the love of his life, the girl he’d planned to spend forever with.
Lydia nodded. “I’m sorry. I think that’s one reason he had such a hard time letting himself be a part of your world. In one way or another, he’s lost every woman in his life—except me. First his mother, then mine, and Serena, and even though she didn’t die, he lost Shandira, too. That’s why he’s so protective of me and why he won’t let you fight. The thought of losing someone else . . . well, how would you feel?”<
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“I’d be scared to death to love again,” Kira answered honestly. “So did she say yes?”
Lydia shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think he got the chance to ask. It was only seconds after he told me what he planned to do, when Bastian returned and asked me to walk with him in the garden. I’d seen my mother go out earlier and thought at the time how nice it would be to get some fresh air. So when he offered, I was more than eager.” She took another deep breath and let it out slow. “That’s when everything fell apart.”
Kira wasn’t sure she wanted to know the rest, let alone experience it through Lydia’s eyes. The emotions of that night had already gripped Kira’s heart and were so overwhelming she had to fight her own from mixing with them. So when Lydia offered her hands, Kira hesitated.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Kira asked, more for herself than for Lydia.
“Yeah, Octavion’s right. I need to deal with these feelings. Having you see them with me seems to take the edge off. I want to get through this and finally put it behind me. That is, if you don’t mind.” Lydia’s pleading eyes touched Kira’s heart and she couldn’t let her friend down—even if that meant going through all the emotions Lydia had experienced that night.
“I don’t mind,” Kira said, while taking hold of Lydia’s wrists again. She closed her eyes and tried to prepare her mind and heart for what was to come. For the first time since discovering her new powers, wondered if it was possible for her to block them, at least the emotional part. The first image took away all her doubts as she unsuccessfully tried to push Bastian’s face out of her head.
Once again she was forced to feel love and happiness combined with her own revulsion. The evil twist of her heart was soon overcome by Lydia’s confusion when Bastian’s expression foretold his intentions. Kira was all too familiar with the sinister grin that crossed his face as Lydia jumped to her feet and tried to escape his grasp.
There was no time for Lydia to translate the words that were lost in the silence, but Kira knew the meaning behind them. Lydia’s fear ran through Kira as she felt a surge of pain in the back of her throat—the beginnings of a scream cut off by the strength of Bastian’s fingers pushing against her windpipe.
Lydia, maybe we should stop, Kira begged.
But Lydia gave no response as the image of her mother running toward them, increased the fear surging through Lydia and Kira’s veins. She’d never had that much love for her mother and it was strange to be feeling it now. Kira wanted to be there, to protect Lydia’s mother and keep her safe, to help her friend fight off her attacker and change the course of history, but it continued to play out between them, as it had that night.
Lydia was thrown to the ground and watched as Bastian tossed her beautiful mother aside like a rag doll, causing her to strike her head against the stone edge of the fountain. The image seemed to freeze there, as Kira felt Lydia’s fingers tighten around her wrists and the increased sorrow seize her like she’d been crushed beneath the weight of it.
Kira released her fingers from Lydia’s wrists and tried to pull away, but Lydia only tightened hers, pressing the tips of her fingers into Kira’s flesh and cutting off the blood flow to her hands and fingers.
“Lydia, let go!” Kira threw open her eyes to see it was no longer Lydia sharing her emotions, but her kindred spirit. Altaria’s fury seemed channeled directly at Kira until she realized the reason for the change. It had happened exactly the same way that night. Now Kira watched Altaria fight Bastian and found herself cheering her on. Only a few seconds passed before Octavion came into view. He was completely transformed, taking Bastian to the ground in a ferocious display of bulging muscle and powerful blows. Bastian squirmed loose and took off through the garden with Octavion on his heels.
Kira had thought it was over until Altaria turned to see her mother lying in a pool of blood and the sorrow returned. Altaria fell to her knees, only to be yanked back by her hair and made to stand. Shandira’s face flashed into view and all hope washed from Kira’s mind and heart. She knew what happened next and she wanted no part of it.
“Altaria, let go. I don’t want to see this, please,” Kira begged, trying to push her away. She tried to pry her fingers loose, but Altaria only dug them in deeper. Kira feared she’d draw blood and that the scent would bring Octavion’s transformation—and put her in danger.
“STOP!” Kira screamed.
But Altaria continued to reveal the scene in Kira’s head, forcing her to see it all, feel it all and experience every horrid detail. It wasn’t until she felt the piercing stab of Shandira’s dagger up under her ribs that Altaria finally turned her loose, but by then it was too late. Kira was so overwhelmed with the physical and emotional pain, she couldn’t breathe. She stumbled to her feet and found her way outside the cave entrance before doubling over in gut wrenching sobs. Tears poured down her face as she recalled the feelings of loss, betrayal, and all the emotions that accompanied the events of that night. She’d been there, literally walking in Lydia and Altaria’s shoes.
When Octavion appeared through the trees, Kira withdrew even further, letting the violent spasms consume her, not wanting to be touched or consoled. She pushed her back against a boulder as she slid down to the forest floor. She drew up her knees and wrapped her arms around them to help calm her trembling legs.
“Kira, what happened? I heard you scream. Are you hurt?” He reached out to touch her, but she pulled away.
“I’m . . . fine.” Kira managed between sobs. She pointed toward the cave. “Check on . . . your sister.” If she was going through half of what Kira was, Lydia needed him more than she did. These feelings were real for her.
Octavion jumped to his feet, but only got half way through the cave entrance before he turned back. Toran stopped at his heels. “Stay with Kira, boy.”
At first she thought it unnecessary. After all, it wasn’t like she was really hurt or in any danger, but as Toran came closer, and she looked into his light blue eyes, she saw the compassion there. It was then that she understood his gift and what he’d been through.
She buried her hand in the fur just behind his ears. “You know what this is like, don’t you buddy? You’ve taken all of our pain at one time or another, and . . . never complained one bit.”
He blinked slowly, as though he agreed, then nuzzled against her knee before plopping down next to her. Kira straightened her legs to give him a place to rest his head and the moment he settled his strong jaw across her thighs, the emotional pain began to disappear.
“Toran, you don’t have to do that. I’m okay. I can deal with this myself.” She tried to pull his heavy head off her legs, and he let her, but only long enough to plant a big slobbery kiss on her cheek with his rough tongue. He returned to taking away her borrowed grief.
Kira wiped his saliva and her tears away with the hem of her shirt and leaned forward onto his massive body to rest her head. He slowly pulled every ounce of emotion from her heart as her eyelids began to sag. The constant rhythm of his purr was like a soft lullaby.