Read Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero Page 13

CHAPTER 13

  “Can’t you be on time for anything important”, Mayank complained lovingly to Ashish as he entered late for the meeting.

  “Monku, clear off, don’t say anything to me. Let me have a drink first. After all I am a human being; I can’t handle my idiot boss, this chaotic traffic, Utkarsh’s wife and you all at one time!”

  “Why do you curse my sweet little wife, what she has to do with your already troubled life”, Utkarsh asked smiling, understanding quite well why Ashish was referring to his wife for his troubles.

  As Mayank helped Ashish in arranging the food he had brought with him and got the glass and ice cubes for his whisky, Utkarsh asked Ashish whether he was successful in doing the work which his wife assigned to him?

  “All women in this stupid world are alike”, Ashish declared with irritation writ large on his face as he settled for making second glass of whisky, gulping the first one in one go.

  “Brilliant discovery…”, Mayank teased him.

  “Monku, don’t pull my legs, I am already in deep trouble because of you.

  “Oh God, what I have done wrong?”

  “Don’t act innocent. If I love a girl, I tell you the next morning, don’t I? And this stupid Guddi…why should she be losing her sleep if Monku does not want to show her girl to the world! She has made my life hell…how can I find this girl, nobody else on earth knows about her but she does not take this for an answer. Oh my god...how stupid I am...is Monku’s girl around?”

  “Relax Ashu, she is not around and don’t be troubled, I will tell you everything and will also take her to Guddi very soon.”

  “Thank God. I thought for a moment this meeting was for introducing her to us. So, you are marrying?”

  “Yes, I am. But we are not discussing my marriage and my girl tonight. The agenda is different.”

  A confused Ashish looked at Mayank and then turned to Utkarsh for help.

  “Don’t look at me Ashu, Monku hasn’t even told me about it. We were waiting for you. Monku has said he has something in his mind and before he makes up his mind, he would like you and me to share with him our opinion on that. I think you make a large glass of your drink and we should move to the talk.”

  The three settled on the carpet of the living room. Mayank made large glasses of lime soda for Utkarsh and himself. He asked for a cigarette from Ashu and Utkarsh asked him to share it with him. Ashish anxiously waited for Mayank to start the talk even as Utkarsh remained relaxed, stretching out on the floor.

  Mayank briefed them with the latest developments in a matter of fact manner. He talked about the options he had in career front and also acknowledged that he had been in love for the last many months and now he was marrying. He then took a pause to gauge the reaction of Ashish and Utkarsh, especially the former.

  “Now what you wish to do and what you want us to do”, asked Ashish.

  “I am not sure what I want to do and that is why I want you two to give me your opinion about what I should ideally do.”

  “If you ask me, I would say you should grab the offer of the rival newspaper. Take the opportunity to enjoy the editorship and do what you could not do so far. I cannot think why you ask me what you should do. Always look ahead and above in life and especially in career. Editorship is a definite promotion and no doubt they will pay you better. Utkarsh would get his transfer in the new place you will go and I will quit my job to get a new one in your new place. Anyway, I am fed with this boss and the company. May be, I will find a suitable girl in the new place too. I now need to marry to keep pace with you.”

  “What you suggest Utkarsh?”

  “I am not suggesting anything. I believe, Monku has always had different priorities in life and even in his career he values things more than the money and position. If Monku feels he can find better purpose and peace in his existing job, he might well think of remaining where he is. Anyway, the owner has assured him proper audience, so he might be in better position to find his purpose here than going to a new place where he will have completely new set of people to deal with.”

  “What purpose…! Jobs have only one purpose; the money that comes with it and the position of greater power. Editorship is bringing him both so the purpose is clear as anything. Utkarsh, we were taught in eighth class that one should always chase what is certain. Don’t you remember a bird in hand is always better than two in the bush?”

  “Ashu, media is not a job as yours and mine. Monku is in media not for a living but for a purpose.”

  “So you say working for a living is not a purpose? And what is the other purpose? Changing the society? Improving the ways of the incorrigible idiots of this ever-so-in-crisis nation? Making this world a better place to live? What more?”

  “My God Ashu, why do you always take things in their extremes?”

  “I am sorry Utkarsh...you know I am not good with words. But believe me; I sincerely cannot understand where the dilemma is?”

  “You don’t need to be sorry Ashu. Utkarsh and I value your views and your inputs have always helped me see the larger rationality, especially the popular one. I would always want that you should stick to your views.”

  “Yes Ashu, Monku values your views very much but I wonder he didn’t call for them when he settled for his life partner”, Utkarsh teased him.

  “He consults me only when he is in a dilemma”, Ashish said with innocence. “Now he will need my expertise as your dilemma starts only after you fall in love.”

  “Dilemma is not the core issue Ashu. I and Utkarsh believe you are a mainstream person. Your world view accommodates most of the popular perceptions and we also believe that they are very contemporary. When I am seeing things and create a perception about things affecting me, I am led by my own set of ideas which are not mainstream ones. That is why, your opinion counts for me. It sort of balances me. I must declare it that though at times you sound offensively obsessed by your views but Ashu, you are always true to what you feel. Honesty and transparency has always been the hub of the wheel of our friendship. I expect the same from you today.”

  “Go ahead Monku, tell me what you have in your heart. Anyway, after I am down three glasses of whisky, I always speak from my heart.”

  Mayank paused for a while to pick up the right words for the start. He also repeated his resolve that he would not commit himself to a decision before listening out to Ashu and Utkarsh. He also realized that his words must also reflect his objectivity.

  “I think, before I tell you what I have in my mind, I must seek your concurrence on a notion which basically defines what I wish to do. There is a popular theory in political philosophy which says that people enter into an agreement with society under which every person agrees to surrender some of his individual rights so that he or she could enjoy a set of rights in collectivity. There is however also a view that says, rights exist only in collectivity as individuals cannot have rights in isolation. This is one side of the coin. The history however, tells us that collectivity always has instinctive corrupting tendencies as power rests with collectivity and power corrupts. Given that most powers have in-built tendency to move towards absoluteness and there is a saying that absolute power corrupts absolutely, the collectivity at some stage becomes absolutely corrupt. We all live in the collectivity of society, be it the social collectivity, the economic or political collectivity. Historically, individuals or motley group of individuals have challenged the corrupting absoluteness of collectivity and most revolutions start as individual struggle against collective corruption. When the individuals gain larger volume and power than the existing collectivity, revolutions are successful and the status quo of a corrupting collectivity is overthrown by a change.”

  “Oh my God…! Monku, your editorial has evaporated the effect of the three glasses of whisky. Can’t you simplify things for me? I am a simple guy. Even my genius has specific limitations...I am trained for multi-tasking but not multi-intellectualism.”

  “Ashu, it is simple and not beyond your
hereditary constraints. What Monku wants to say is that in the long history of mankind, there has been an incessant struggle between individual and collectivity and it is to the credit of individuals that corrupting influences of an established collectivity are corrected; at least challenged, am I right Monku?”

  “So, what I am supposed to understand? The lessons from history, the stupid struggles of my troubled humanity or what?”

  “Yes Ashu, Monku wants you to understand that history tells us that individual position, however conflicting it may sound, has been fruitful and correcting influence on established and mainstream collective norms.”

  “I would add to it Ashu that what history tells us is that the majority has an in-built tendency to corruption as it intrinsically aims at absoluteness. That is why, a healthy society is one where individualism is respected and given an equitable, if not equal, field for fair play. Similarly, a rational being is one who adheres to the collective knowledge but also respects individual wisdom.”

  “Okese... accepted. But why should you tell all this to me and why now?”

  “Ashu, Monku is telling you this because he wants you to respect what he views and desires as an individual which might stand in clash with the collective and mainstream practices.”

  “Not only that Utkarsh. I also want Ashu to be open to the idea that the mainstream can be also be subjected to the individual scrutiny and not always the vice-versa. An individual’s non-conformism to collective compliance should not always be brushed aside as dangerous absurdity and mundane stupidity.”

  “Wait...wait please! Let me have another drink to clear my mind. I have an intuition that you and Utkarsh have joined hands to put me in some sort of trap. Why should you two tell me about the corruption of collectivity? Am I some sort of spokesperson for this what you call collectivity. Am not I an individual too?”

  “Yes you are and I am very sure that you respect the value of individual’s right to take on the corrupting influences of collective status quoism, especially when it starts to show perceptible signs of degeneration.”

  “Okay, I do what you say; then, what next?”

  “There are two parts of the reality that makes me drift towards a decision. First, my perception that media, where I work, has become such a place that I think I should not be a part of anymore. Second, there is a realization that I have something so beautiful and meaningful in my life that I feel I should devote all my time and energy to enjoy that.”

  “So, what you want to do now, go to the Himalayas and become a saint…a majnu to be precise…?”

  “Ashu, what is this? You just said, you would respect individuality and now you speak to Monku like that...how can you!”

  “I am respecting his individuality Utkarsh. If he says he wants to go to Himalayas for a honeymoon with his girl then it is okay with me but I cannot accept that this world, or for that matter the media has become an awful or unsuitable place to be in. When was this world a good place, let alone the ideal one to live? You think of media as a bad place, come to my world and then see what a hell I work in and still able to smile. When will you people accept the realism of life? If this world is stinking, buy any good deodorant from the market and if you do not have the money to buy one, be habituated to the stink…stop complaining.”

  “What is the realism Ashu? How can you say Monku is acting escapist?”

  “I am not a philosopher but I know it quite simple. This world has always been like that, good or bad. This is reality and the wisdom is that you create a way around the chaos and stink and move ahead.”

  “You mean to say, the realism is in finding a solution in the chaos, whichever way it comes?”

  “I think so, what’s wrong with this view?”

  “Your realistic world says that if the need be, you should call a donkey your dad, just to find a timely solution to a problem. This is taught as realism but another realism is that a donkey cannot be our father, some fathers may however sound like a donkey. And yet another reality is that humanity should never bow to a donkey’s whim even if that creature blocks your road to the solution. The reality is that we all should strive to create a world where all such donkeys are relegated to their rightful places.”

  “Now Ashu, this is wrong! You cannot take an exception to prove a rule. The proverb is all about being practical in this world. What I say is that realism is in accepting things as they are and then find a solution facing it. I am against this escapism…after all we are men and men should always battle it out in the middle and not flee away.”

  “Now take it Monku…this male world view is in front of you. The battlefield syndrome of male world view will not leave you in peace. All yours...I quit!”

  “Now what is this? Why did you drag the gender question?

  You won’t understand Ashu, it is a long story you missed as you came late.”

  “No Utkarsh, Ashu can understand everything. We must come around this realism idea and know the dynamics of this world view about battling and escaping.”

  “Yes Monku, do tell me. Do you think I am wrong? Correct me if I am.”

  “Ashu, my brother, there is a word in our dictionary called relativity. There are things which you see and others which you cannot see but feel; there are matter and ideas. In natural state of affairs, they are essentially value neutral. Good or bad, important or redundant; it depends on the relative position from where you approach them. A knife is a knife but it changes meaning when in a robber’s hand and when in a doctor’s. Both realism and idealism are subject to the test of this relativity. The relativity demands that we approach any idea or a matter in perfect objectivity. Subjective preference for any single entity may be lopsided and may end up in seeing the world from a biased perspective. This world is better off neither in absolute realism nor in absolute idealism. Neither unbridled individualism nor the absolute collectivity is prescription for goodness. Both interchangeably balance each other. Then there is a question of prioritizing them. There cannot be a universal rule to what we should put ahead, idealism or realism. We need to assess the situation with objectivity to decide on the priorities. But still, idealism has an upper hand because often, it balances the unbridled realism.”

  “Monku, the trouble with Ashu is that he always puts realism upfront and does not want to give idealism any chance whatsoever.”

  “I deny the charges. You can say Utkarsh that I am more inclined to realism and why should not I be? I live in a world where I have seen all idealism as a façade to the hardcore realism. I believe in realism because I believe in truth. Monku has always told me that I should never practice hypocrisy and I find idealism the safe haven for the biggest of hypocrites. I profess realism because I really think; it at least allows me to be honest. If I am bad, if I am corrupt, I have the courage to say it. I am honest. At least, I don’t pretend to be what I am not and cannot ever be. My naked body is my creed. I am not like my boss who aims at profit maximization at any cost and speaks volumes on corporate social responsibility in seminars.”

  “Monku, this ‘hips don’t lie’ thought system is strange. Ashu says his naked body is his creed. But is this realism practical? Why don’t we all walk on the street naked, showing our ass to the whole world? Truth and realism cannot be naked. There is a pardadari, a cover for every naked truth to be accepted in the practical world.”

  “Oh God Utkarsh…! Why do you always take my words at their face value? I am not saying we should walk naked. What I am saying is that the reality is that beneath the clothe we all are naked and it is a truth.”

  “This is exactly what you have to understand Ashu. We are born naked but in a civil society, we need some sort of a pardadari – a cover. Similarly, the realism what you call as naked truth may be as natural as we are born but it always needs a cover of idealism to be practically operational in our civilized society. We don’t live in jungle Ashu. The naked realism is not a prescription for civil society. The cover of idealism is always needed and what Monku is saying
is that idealism has an upper hand as it covers up the brute and naked body of realism.”

  “Okay, you cover up the realism but still the world’s operative prudence is realism, won’t you accept that?”

  “No Ashu, it is not. There is at best a latent desire among a minority of people to make brute realism as the operative wisdom of human action but the world still runs on cherished ideals of humanity. We have a typical case in India. We all know; the chief trouble of India is the largely pampered and irresponsible citizenry. The democracy here has unleashed all rights but few duties. The bureaucracy, the politicians, the elite and socially strong people have misused the ideals of democracy. A minority of people have usurped Indian democratic fruit. The masses too think democracy extends them all rights but never feel the obligations for their duties. The trouble is, democracy as an ideal itself is in the root of larger trouble of India. If you apply your realism as an operative prudence, the truth is, India needs a strong and decisive hand as ultimate authority. We all see, larger part of India still has little governance. The rule of law, the benefits of welfare state, a civil administration, the dispensation of justice, the fruit of economic growth are still like islands in vast sea, available only to a few in big cities but poorly visible in majority of India. But still, we keep our faith intact on democracy as the ideal operative prudence. The iron hand, the authoritative might of a decisive ruling dispensation is not acceptable. The stupidity of majority is still preferable over the tyranny of a minority. We cannot just give realism a free hand just because idealism has not fared reasonably well in our selfish and foolish world.”

  “Ashu, I and Utkarsh always appreciate your honesty. We value your opinion because you are always true to your belief. But what you complained about idealism is the corruption of idealism and not idealism itself. That’s what Utta has told you about our democracy. That is why I told you about our subjective priorities. The idealism of a knife is that it should be in a doctor’s hand but if a doctor uses the knife for his money-making adventures, it is the corruption of the idealism and this corruption is done on the pretext of realism. This is the trouble. I tell you an interesting story. I had investigated about a big heart specialty hospital last year. My reliable sources within the hospital told me that the owner, a big time doctor, had made huge investments on latest and costly medical equipments which had landed him in trouble. The trouble was that his investment necessitated that his hospital carried at least 35 open heart surgeries a month to break even but currently the numbers were falling short, averaging only 20 a month. It was revealed to me that to meet the numbers, many heart patients, who could be cured by drugs and simple interventions were advised to undergo open heart surgery. The patient and his or her family were fed adverse reports making them so panicky that they did not even consider a second opinion. The hospital saw a 250 per cent rise in open heart surgeries within six months. When I talked with the doctors working in the hospital, many of them justified it by giving strange logic. ‘You know, generally, we do it on those patients who are rich and can afford it’, a doctor said. Another said, ‘we basically do what the patient anyway would need in next two years. These rich people would anyway need the open heart surgery as they do not follow the tough lifestyle regime which is necessary with drug treatment.’ We can say that what the doctors did was justified, if we see from a point of view of realism but it is corruption of idealism. The doctors are trusted like God. No amount of realism can justify the breach of trust.”

  “Why did you not expose them? I don’t remember you ran the story in your newspaper, did he Utkarsh?”

  “You are right. The editor turned panicky when I discussed the story with him. The management refused to give permission as the hospital was a big time advertiser with us. The owner of the hospital was very friendly with media and always offered free services to media persons. The report was dumped. The best part of it was that the editor told me that there was nothing new and exciting about the story as it was a routine affair in most private hospitals.”

  “This is realism for you Ashu and I think, you are sure we all need to accept things as they are and move ahead with it!”

  “I am not saying it is acceptable. Do not misinterpret me Utkarsh. What my humble submission is that things like this are what this world is full of. Why blame media? Still, media brings out so many bad things every morning. Media too has a right to survive and can you show me a single person on earth who is not making compromises to survive?”

  “Ashu, I am sorry if I put you wrong but please try to understand what Monku wants to show you very clearly. This world has equal utility for both idealism and realism, even if you do not accept that idealism is a superior position. Monku has already told you that what your priorities are, depend on your relative positioning to a particular scenario. Man’s ingenuity creates strange justifications and subjective truths. But above all remains an objective reality which is the core idealism.”

  “This is true Ashu. There are times when we face the question of survival and for all living being, survival is first realism. But, seldom would you see wrongs being committed for the cause of survival. Crimes and corruption are not the outcome of survival demands but a tool for acquiring that extra compared to the fellow people. Even if it seems there is a question of survival, in most cases, it is a case of inflated sense of threat to survival. The loss that the hospital faced, making its owner resort to corruption looks like a survival question but it is not. It is a simple reality of a business calculation going awry. Investments are made for long-term profit but that hospital owner wanted to have profits from day one and this certainly is a hugely inflated sense of survival threat. Even in government sector, where you see most of corruption happening or in the corporate world where unethical and illegal practices are resorted to, the survival is not threatened. Yes, the level of competitiveness is intense and nobody wants to be a loser.”

  “But Monku, in today’s reality where stakes are so high in corporate world, a loser is almost like a dead man. You know it well that such is today’s market that if you are not number one or two, you are virtually out of the markets! I can tell you, the corporate world lives on the dictum of ‘me only’ as the earlier ‘me too’ syndrome will kill you and your business in a day. You know this struggle about brand power in the contemporary world? It’s a battle out there, you win or you are eliminated. Believe me Monku, survival is the core concern in today’s competitive world.”

  “Ashu, this is where we go wrong. This is clearly an inflated sense of survival question. The problem is with contemporary corporate culture and functioning. If stakes are so high that it creates survival question then there is a clear need to correct the amount of your stakes. There is intrinsically something wrong about how you do business. You know Ashu, only a few months back, my editor said to me, ‘Mayank you will never be successful in life’. When I asked why he thought I had such bleak prospect, he replied, ‘you are a vegetarian, you do not take liquor and above all, you do not womanize…how you can succeed in career with such old fashioned inhibitions and limitations?’ It is very clear to me that if these are the qualifications for success in career and life, the problem is not entirely with the definition of success but mostly with our character which justifies all possible short-cuts in life for attaining a position which the social benchmarks have labeled as success.”

  “But the point is Monku, what your editor said is the truth of corporate culture and I am repeatedly telling you that this is how the world is, you like it or not. You accept it or condemn it, it’s your choice but you cannot change the reality as it exists today.”

  “I know Ashu, what my editor said to me was a sincere advice to me and I accept that he wished and meant good for me. He has always been so. He has told me how tough and difficult his journey has been in his long career. What he prescribes to me emanates from the insecurity that he has faced. I too live in this world and being a journalist, I happen to see mostly the grey side of the world. T
he two Cs of life, the contact and connections are so very important for attaining success defined as per the existing world view. I know the two Ws, wine and women help you gain better and faster connectivity to the two Cs, so very crucial for success. But then, my humble submission is that I can still survive without them. And why only me, the whole system can survive.”

  “And what Monku is the right recipe for survival?”

  “I tell you a story which a poor tea stall vendor outside my office once told me. Once upon a time, two dead bodies were floating in the river Ganges. Both the bodies had their hands on the forehead. As the current brought them together, the dead bodies exchanged greetings. One dead body asked the other as why he was holding his hands on his forehead. The body said that he always wanted to be a rich man and so he resorted to all wrongs and corruption to acquire money. He gave his sons all possible comforts of life but the greedy sons could not wait for his natural death and after killing him, threw his dead body in the river. That is why he is hitting his head with his palms in utter regret why he became a corrupt man. Had he been an honest person, his sons would not have killed him in greed of his money. He then asked the other dead body as why he was doing the same. The body said he was a dry honest man and because of that his sons were brought up in utter hardship. The sons chose to kill him and threw his body in the river instead of spending the little money left on his treatment as he fell ill. He was now regretting as why he chose to be honest. Had he been corrupt, his sons would not have killed him for want of money.”

  “This story suggests there is a dead end all the way! No solutions anyway…”

  “No Ashu, it is rather the contrary. You should not take into account the sad part that both were finally killed. The important point you missed is that both were dissatisfied with what they did. Both felt that they wasted their lives doing something which they always believed was the right thing to do. You need to be very clear from the very start what you want out of your life. Success always wants its cost; you must be ready to pay for it. But then, what I wish to say is that there are alternative ways available. Just don’t be part of this success thing if it does not come the way you want it to be. Success has to come at a cost what I would decide, not at what success decides for me. I would thrive, let alone survive, if I choose what I want.”

  Ashish did not say anything. There was silence for few minutes. Mayank went out to bring the food plates from the dining table as Ashish made another drink.

  “I do not know what Ashu has in his mind about whatever you have been telling him but Monku, what I have to say is, why withdraw, why not be there and keep our efforts to make a difference, even if a very small one?”

  “Yes Monku, I agree to Utkarsh. You are in a position from where you can make a difference. If you withdraw, if you take an alternative route to your own peace, nothing will happen. You yourself said that every individual has a right to point out the correction in the collectivity. I think we should conclude this talk. We agree that this world is not as it ought to be. We also agree that the collectivity needs correction and an individual should do the correction, if he or she has a chance and it is very clear that Monku has a chance in hand. I am glad I do not have any! Further, we agree, sorry…., now I agree that though it is hell of a task but this bloody world can be changed, it should be changed…even if a bit, it is not bad at the end of the day. Satisfaction is always better than the joy, Monku has taught me. Done then, should I finish the remaining of my whisky in the bottle?”

  “And what about Monku’s job? Should he remain with the current job as the environment here is more conducive or should he move to take up the editorship as it will probably give him larger say and control?”

  “Oh yes…I think, there seems to be a preference for the current job as Monku now has direct access to the owner. Best it is anyway. I and Utkarsh won’t have to move to a new place with Monku. I am anyway thinking of changing the industry and may find a job in media itself. This way I can help Monku effect changes. He always needs me to be focused, you know that Utkarsh?”

  Utkarsh looked at Mayank for his approval. This arrangement suited him fine. But he had the intuition that Mayank had something different in his mind. He however accepted that Mayank was not telling it not because he did not want to share it with them but because he had not made up his mind.

  “I am waiting Monku…I am not going home today, I am sleeping here. So, if you say yes, I will finish off the remaining stuff in the bottle.”

  “What should I say Ashu! I am not sure of yes and no.”

  “Then you should follow what Utkarsh said is the operative wisdom of democracy. I and Utkarsh believe that you should stay with your current job and do whatever little you can to make a difference. And as this forms two-third majority, you must submit to the majority wisdom. And as Utkarsh said, ‘stupidity of majority must prevail over the tyranny of minority’, so we close the deal here.”

  Mayank did not say a word more. He just smiled. Utkarsh knew; democracy was no solution for what Mayank had in mind. A revolution was probably the answer.

  **