lesson,he served us faultless meals with a quiet efficiency that was actuallyrestful, even miraculously to Vicki.
She began relaxing in his presence and planning a few outside projects"to get our money's worth" out of the behemoth. This was our earliestjoke about Soth, because he certainly was no expense or problem tomaintain. As the Ollie had promised, he thrived on our table scraps anda pink concoction which he mixed by pouring a few drops of purple liquidfrom a pocket vial into a gallon pitcher of water. The stuff would besupplied by the Ollies at a cost of about a dollar eighty a week.
Saturday afternoon, Vicki bravely took over teaching him the amenitiesof butlering and the intricacies of bed-making. After a short session inthe bedroom, she came out looking thoughtful.
"He's awfully real looking," she said. "And you can't read a darnedthing in his eyes. How far can you trust him, Cliff? You know--aroundwomen?"
Fred looked at me with a raised eyebrow and said, "Well, let's findout."
We sat down and called Soth into the living room. He came and stoodbefore us, erect, poised and motionless.
Fred said, "Disrobe. Remove all your clothing. Strip!"
Vicki sucked in her breath.
The Soth replied instantly, "Your order conflicts with my conditioning.I must not remove my covering in the presence of an Earthwoman."
Fred scratched his gray temple thoughtfully. "Then, Vicki, would youmind disrobing, please?"
She gulped again. Fred was an old friend, but not exactly the familydoctor.
He sensed her mild outrage. "You'll never stop wondering if you don't,"he said.
She looked at Fred, me, and then Soth. Then she stood up gingerly, as ifedging into a cold shower, gritted her teeth, grasped the catch to herfull-length zipper of her blue lounging suit and stripped it from armpitto ankle. As she stepped out of it, I saw why she had peeled it off likeyou would a piece of adhesive tape: It was a warm day, and she wore noundergarments.
* * * * *
Soth moved so softly I didn't hear him go, but Fred was watchinghim--Fred's eyes were where they belonged. Soth stopped in the archwayto the dining room with his back turned. Fred was at his side.
"Why did you leave?" Fred demanded.
"I am not permitted to remain in the company of an uncoveredEarthwoman ... unless she directs me to do so."
While Vicki fled behind the French door to dress herself, Fred asked,"Are there any other restrictions to your behavior in the presence ofEarthwomen?"
"Many."
"Recount some of them."
"An Earthwoman may not be touched, regardless of her wishes, unlessdanger to her life requires it."
"Looks like you wash your own back, Vicki," I chuckled.
"What else?" she asked, poking her head out. "I mean what other thingscan't you do?"
"There are many words I may not utter, postures I may not assume, andcertain duties I may not perform. Certain answers to questions may notbe given in the presence of an Earthwoman."
Fred whistled. "The Ollies have mastered more than our language ... Ithought you said they were noted mainly for their linguistic talents,Cliff."
I was surprised, too. In the space of a few hectic months our alienvisitors had probed deeply into our culture, mores and taboos--and thenhad had the genius to instill their compounded discretions into theirSoths.
I said, "Satisfied, Vicki?"
She was still arranging herself. Her lips curled up at the cornersimpishly. "I'm almost disappointed," she said. "I do an all-outstriptease, and no one looks but my husband. Of course," she addedthoughtfully, "I suppose that's something...."
* * * * *
Fred stayed with us until Sunday evening. I went down to the pier tosmoke a good-night pipe with him, and get his private opinion.
"I'm buying a hundred shares of Worldwide stock tomorrow," he declared."That critter is worth his weight in diamonds to every well-heeledhousewife in the country. In fact, put me down for one of your firstmodels. I wouldn't mind having a laundry sorter and morningcoffee-pourer, myself."
"Think he's safe, do you?"
"No more emotions than that stump over there. And it baffles me. He hasself-awareness, pain-sensitivity and a fantastic vocabulary, yet Ineedled him all afternoon with every semantic hypo I could think ofwithout getting a flicker of emotion out of him." He paused."Incidentally, I made him strip for me in my room. You'll be as confusedas I was to learn that he's every inch a man in his format."
"What?" I exclaimed.
"Made me wonder what his duties included back on his home planet ... butas I said, no emotions. With the set of built-in inhibitions he has,he'd beat a eunuch out of his job any day of the week."
A few seconds later, Fred dropped into his little two-seater and skimmedoff for home, leaving me with a rather disturbing question in my mind.
I went back to the house and cornered Soth out in the kitchen alone.Vicki had him polishing all the antique silverware.
"Are there female Soths?" I asked point-blank.
He looked down at me with that relaxed, pink look and said, "No, Mr.Collins," and went back to his polishing.
The damned liar. He knew what I meant. He justified himself on atechnicality.
* * * * *
I left Vicki Monday morning with more confidence than I'd had in ages.She had slept especially well, and the only thing on her mind wasClumsy's disappearance. He hadn't shown up since Soth scared the fleasoff him with that hiss.
At the office, I had my girl transcribe my notes and work up amemorandum to the board of directors. We sent it around before noon, andshortly after lunch I had calls from all ten of them, including thechairman. It was not that they considered it such a big thing--they werejust plainly curious. We scheduled a meeting for Tuesday morning, totalk the thing over.
That night when I got home, all was serene. Soth served us cocktails,dinner and a late snack, and had the place tidied up by bedtime. He didall this and managed to remain virtually invisible. He moved so quietlyand with such uncanny anticipation of our demands, it was if he were anold family retainer, long versed in our habits and customs.
Vicki bragged as she undressed that she had the giant hog-tied andjumping through hoops.
"We even got half the excavation done for the rock wall," she saidproudly.
On impulse, I went out into the hall and down to Soth's room, where Ifound him stretched out slaunchwise across the double bed.
He opened his eyes as I came in, but didn't stir.
"Are you happy here?" I asked bluntly.
He sat up and did something new. He answered my question with aquestion. "Are you happy with my services?"
I said, "Yes, of course."
"Then all is well," he replied simply, and lay down again.
It seemed like a satisfactory answer. He radiated a feeling of peace,and the expression of repose on his heavy features was assuring.
* * * * *
It rained hard and cold during the night. I hadn't shown Soth how tostart the automatic heating unit. When I left the house next morning, hewas bringing Vicki her breakfast in bed, a tray on one arm and a handfulof kindling under the other. Only once had he watched me build a fire inthe fireplace, but he proceeded with confidence.
We flew blind through filthy weather all the way to Detroit. I dismissedJack with orders to return at eleven with Soth.
"Don't be late," I warned him.
Jack looked a little uneasy, but he showed up on schedule and deliveredSoth to us with rain droplets on his massive bald pate, just ten minutesafter the conference convened.
I had Ollie Johnson there, too, to put Soth through his paces. TheOllie, in a bedraggled, soggy suit, was so excited that he remained analmost purplish black for the whole hour.
The directors were charmed, impressed and enthusiastic.
When I finished my personal report on the Soth's tremendous success inmy own ho
usehold, old Gulbrandson, Chairman of the Board, shined hisrosy cheeks with his handkerchief and said, "I'll take the first threeyou produce, Johnson. Our staff of domestics costs me more than a braceof attorneys, and it turns over about three times a year. Cook can'teven set the timer on the egg-cooker right." He turned to me. "Sure hecan make good coffee, Collins?"
I nodded emphatically.
"Then put me down for three for sure," he said with executive finality.
Gulbrandson paid dearly for his piggishness later, but at the time itseemed only natural that if one Soth could run a household efficiently,then the Chairman of the Board should have at least two spares in caseone blew a fuse or a vesicle or whatever it was they might blow.
*