Later, as I sat cross legged on my bed, I attempted to locate a “place of calm”.
If you’ve ever tried to do something similar, especially after being menaced by a demon, you’ll know that this is about as easy as wrestling a greased hog after it’s been smacked on the rump a few times.
My mind was ablaze with a dozen spiralling thoughts; the priority concern being what my course of action would be, should my little blue, tuxedo wearing friend return.
I gauged the amount of time it would take me to go sprinting down the stairs, leap into my car and tear off back to the Mental Defence offices for protection. In my mental simulation, I took the stairs two at a time, grabbed my keys in mid sprint and was through the front door in less than five seconds. Would the demon pursue me out the house? For some reason it seemed logical that the creature was house bound, but this was really just an assumption based on “child logic”. (The same kind of logic that said monsters were forbidden to attack if you hid under the bed sheets.)
Of course, I was not meant to be having these thoughts. It was exactly what Selena was talking about; I was giving the demon my energy, feeding it by giving it my attention. I needed only to stop thinking about it and I would cut off its life force. Just don’t think about it.
The bedroom door remained open. It was just another barrier between me and freedom. I had even considered leaving the front door open, but decided against it when I remembered what neighbourhood I lived in.
I just had to clear my mind. Control my thoughts. Focus on the calm. Calming… fields?
Could it be under the bed?
Was it possible that it had slipped into existence under my bed and was waiting for me? Just waiting for me to put a leg over the edge. Eagerly patient for me to make a move, so it could grab my ankle and drag me under.
I was grateful to find neither my mother nor Clinton at home when I returned. The idea of having to deal with my mother was a less than appealing thought, especially considering her predictable concern would serve only to inflame my already mounting anxiety.
Under the bed? Childhood fears. I was shaking like a leaf, terrified of the monster under my bed.
Clear my mind. Don’t give it power…
Out the door, down the steps, grab my keys, in the car. Five seconds. What I would do when I got to Selena’s was a mystery. Would she have the gate open for me before I got there? She had managed that little trick once before. How the hell could she have known I was going to be an hour early? What exactly was Logical Prediction?
Right. Clear my mind. Cut off the demon’s source of energy. There was no real option. Pull myself together.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, an action I had been dreading since the first step into my bedroom.
The instant my eyelids closed an overwhelming sensation of dread settled in. My mind’s eye practically exploded with images of the creature creeping out from every corner of the room, slithering out from under the bed, dropping down from the ceiling like some massive, bloated spider. But a will of steel managed to keep my physical eyes closed, an action that took such fierce effort I felt sweat begin to bead on my forehead.
Then came the feeling of expectation. An expectation that something cold: a hand, or perhaps even the creature’s lips, would suddenly brush my cheek. This sensation steadily grew, becoming so intense that my cheeks began to tingle.
Still, I managed to keep my eyes closed. A place of calm, a place of calm…
It could be creeping across the room towards me. Scampering across the floor on all fours, a spider with elbows cocked and legs splayed, hands clawing at the carpet in eagerness…
There was a sharp chirp and I nearly emptied my bowels in one long, blasphemous burst of shame.
As my eyes sprang open, adrenalin flushing into every cell of my body and heart cranking into sixth gear, a crackle of energy sparked into life on my arms.
The chirp came again, shrill and piercing. It took near ten full seconds for me to realise it was the telephone.
Unsteadily, I rose from the bed and tottered over to the landline, nerves singing and head floating lazily.