Banker
Man: Is the money safe with the bank?
Banker: Is the Bank safe with all the money? That is the question to ask.
Man: What? You are funny. I need a safe.
Banker: No one is safe nowadays and you need a Safe.
Man: I need it to store my valuables.
Banker: Why don't you keep them with you? Looking at you no one will guess you are carrying anything of value.
Man: Look Sir, I need to go to work. So can we hurry up?
Banker: If you are in hurry you can take another appointment. We don't want to trouble you?
Man: No, if you stop joking around then we can do this fast
Banker: I was serious till now and you like to DO things fast. Not good! Remember not all things should be done fast. Are you married?
Man: Please hand me the paperwork!
Banker: Young man!! Filing a few papers is work for you. Pity!!
Man: Please hand me the papers.
Banker: Here is the form if you are not homeless and own any kind of device by which we can communicate with you, like phone, fill this information or leave it blank. But if you leave it blank then we don't have anything for homeless people.
Man: OK. I also want to open a savings account.
Banker: No. You can't!!
Man: What?
Banker: Now I am kidding. Of Course you can open any account you want we are here for you. You can even open a account on my name and deposit the money, no one is going to stop you. But tell me young man in today's economy how do you manage to save anything at all?
Man: I don't think it necessary for me to answer your questions.
Banker: Oh!! Yeah!! Show me your id.
Man: Here it is,
Banker: Is it you in this photo, looks like some woman's photo
Man: Bullshit. It's me!!
Banker: Relax, relax! Do you need some coffee?
Man: Yes please,
Banker: Unfortunately I am drinking the last cup and you can count on me to ask someone to brew some more for you once you are gone.
Man: Stop or else I will complain about you!
Banker: About what?
Man: You have a very bad customer service.
Banker: You are still not our customer! You are refusing to fill the paperwork! It is 15 minutes since you came and you haven't filled anything. Who is not serious here, you or me? Remember bad customer experiences bad service.
Man: Enough, what is your name?
Banker: Edward Jacob
Man: I will make sure that you are fired. Bye!!
Banker: I dare you to do it. Here is my card.
=========================================================
After the man has gone, the Banker turns to his friend.
Banker: Hey! Edward is finished; he left for Switzerland on a tour without taking us!!
Other Man: You are great Steve!! You are great!
Forgetful Husband
Wife: Where is the milk?
Husband: Milk! Did you tell me to bring Milk?
Wife: No.
Husband: Then?
Wife: I wrote it on a paper and that paper is still pasted on your sleeve. Did you even read the paper?
(Looks at it)
Husband: OK. God I forgot about it.
Wife: Right! And you didn't forget to bring Beer.
Husband: Yes. So?
Wife: I didn't even tell you bring beer.
Husband: See I remembered something.
Wife: And you also bought chips, DVDs and let me see a new golf cap.
Husband: Yes.
Wife: How did you not forget all of this?
Husband: I am not sure.
Wife: Let me tell you, you never forget whatever is important for you.
Husband: Not like that.
Wife: You FORGOT my mom at the zoo.
Husband: Once I entered the zoo I could not figure out your Mom from the other animals.
Wife: What?
Husband: I told her not to wear that hat with colorful feathers. I even told her not to move very close or tough the cages because someone might shoot her thinking a wild animal is trying to escape.
Wife: So when my Mom was running after you shouting your name, you thought it is a bird or something.
Husband: No I forgot my name.
Wife: Reasons and reasons. This can't continue. You need to be responsible.
Husband: For your Mom.
Wife: No for your forgetfulness.
Husband: It is not that I have control.
Wife: Ok! But why didn't you forget your mother anywhere.
Husband: I don't know.
Wife: Let me tell you she is your mother and she is important for you.
Husband: Ok. She also doesn’t leave my hand.
Wife: Ok. You never forget your parent’s birthday but always forget my birthday. How is that?
Husband: Because both were born on Christmas and I was raised as a staunch Christian.
Wife: You never forget to go to play golf.
Husband: My friend calls me up.
Wife: You never forget to watch your favorite TV show.
Husband: Because it comes at the same time every day.
Wife: Ok and you never forget the name of the favorite dish at the restaurant.
Husband: Yes because I have been eating the same since I was a kid.
Wife: But you forget to empty the trash, do the dishes and feed the cat.
Husband: I see the cat sitting on the trash and licking the dishes and so I don't want to disturb the cat.
Wife: Why?
Husband: You don't want an angry cat in the house. And after seeing it licking the dishes I don't want to overfeed it.
Wife: Goodness!! Look at your excuses. Ok. I want the trash and dishes to be taken care of irrespective of the cat.
Husband: You should be grateful that is only because of my forgetfulness we have a son today.
Wife: (Smiling) Stop it.
Husband: Stella, let’s go upstairs.
Wife: Stella is the name of the cat. My name is .. Anyways let’s go.
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