Lily blinked at the change in subject but still said she had slept fine.
"Good. Is the bed here very different from the one at home?" This made Lily laugh.
"Very different. At home we sleep on thick mats, and the frames are very close to the floor."
"Is the bed here too soft? I mean, does it hurt your back?" "Oh. I'll have to think about that."
"Your hands are perfect," he said quietly, and Lily's head whipped over to look at him.
"This is it?" she asked, clearly excited. "This is how I'm to hold it?"
"That's it," Gabe said with a laugh. "Now I'll put the ball on a tee, and you try swinging at it."
By the time Gabe got her set up, Lily had shifted her hands, so it didn't go well. The ball rolled off with a strange little plop, and Lily frowned at it.
"Let's try it again."
That was to be the first of many suggestions to try again. One time Lily would bump the ball and it would roll away, another she would swing and miss it completely.
"It's harder than it looks," Lily said when she looked over some 50 yards to see a man tee off and send his ball straight up the fairway.
"You'll get it."
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Lily was starting to wonder, but she kept going, telling herself that the key was concentration. Her shoulder and arms were aching, but she ignored them.
Lily looked down at the ball one more time. She kept her legs still. She didn't shift her hips. She kept her hands and arms just the way Gabe had told her. She didn't hear him call her name. She swung.
The sound of a dull thud came to her ears just a heartbeat later. Lily looked with something akin to horror as a man rushed to his golf cart to inspect the dent she had just delivered to a spot above the front tire.
"Oh, no," she said softly.
"Stay here." Gabe swiftly decided to rescue her and headed over to speak to the man. What followed was an hour of work: finding the course manager, discussing the damage of the cart and ascertaining primary responsibility. Gabe kept Lily almost completely out of it, but near the end she stood with Gabe while he spoke to a maintenance man he knew from church, her eyes down. Lily's eyes stayed down all the way to the car when it was at last time to leave. Her body ached from the way she'd been holding herself, but she didn't relax even when Gabe pulled from the parking lot to take them home.
"Are you all right?" Gabe asked Lily when they hit the main road; she had been much too quiet during the whole ordeal.
"I feel awful about what happened."
"You must remember what the manager said, Lily. That man had no business parking his golf cart there. Even the man admitted to ignoring the sign."
But all Lily could say to herself was I failed you, Father. I didn't learn to golf and even harmed another person's property.
Gabe let it go until he pulled into the driveway and parked in the garage. With a hand to Lily's arm, he kept her in the car and worked to keep his voice gentle.
"We're just going to keep at this golfing thing until we get it right."
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Lily didn't look at him.
I'll call again for another tee time, and this time we'll just head right out onto the links. We won't be near anyone's cart or car."
"You have better things to do with your time."
"That's a matter of opinion" was all Gabe said to that. "Will you please look at me, Lily?"
She complied.
"We'll go at the same time tomorrow. Please don't let this ruin your day."
"Thank you for taking me and being willing to try again."
"Is that what you really wanted to say, or did you want to tell me to leave you alone?"
Lily looked as shocked as she felt. "No, Gabe, not at all!"
Giving her arm a little squeeze and dipping his head some to make sure they held eye contact, he said, "But if you ever feel that way, you can tell me."
"Why would I ever be so rude as to tell you to leave me alone?"
"I don't mean in a rude, uncaring way, lily, but it's all right for you to tell me you need some time off. This whole experience is a learning one for you, and that can be exhausting. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm not telling you to ignore Scripture and be unloving to others. I'm just telling you that your feelings and opinions count for something."
Gabe was warming to his subject now. Letting go of her arm, he shifted his whole body to better see lily.
"Lily, I can't believe what help you've been in teaching me to do things I don't want to do! You're so good at bucking up and taking care of business, and I've been lax about that at times. But at the same time, isn't it all right for you to say you enjoy tennis but golf isn't your thing? Of course it is!"
lily could only stare at him. She didn't know what "bucking up" might be, but he had just said that she had been a help to him. The day before Evan had said she was good for him. It was almost more than she could take in.
"Okay, lily, I'll drop this right now. I've been overwhelming you for days. We'll golf in the morning. I'll let you know the
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time." Gabe stopped and just looked at her, his heart aching to explain what was going on inside, but right now it ached for something more.
"And one of these days," he added, "I'll stop giving you orders right and left."
"I don't think you give orders right and left," Lily told him in quiet sincerity, even managing to keep her eyes on his.
Gabe only looked back into Lily's gaze and didn't try to stop her when she moved to climb from the vehicle. He watched as she went toward the beach. And still, his heart prayerful, he let her go-
"How was golfing?" Bailey asked the moment Gabe walked into the kitchen.
"Lily hit a golf cart that was parked in the wrong place."
"Is she upset?"
"Yes."
"Did it break?" Peter wanted to know. "There's a little dent," his uncle said. "Hey, buddy," Bailey said, "I think it might be best if you didn't ask Lily about it, all right?" "Okay. Did she cry?" Bailey looked to Gabe.
"No, and I don't know how thrilled she is to try playing again tomorrow, but that's what we're going to do."
"If I've gotten to know Lily at all, she'll go golfing with you tomorrow without so much as a whimper," Bailey offered.
It was on the tip of Gabe's tongue to say, "That's what I'm afraid of," but Peter was still standing with them. The way his sister was watching him, however, gave him the impression that she knew what was on his mind.
"Where's Miss Celia?" Gabe hunkered down and asked his nephew.
"She's out to eat with Papa."
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"How fun. Where did they go?" "We don't know, but it's my turn later." "That'll be great. Do you by any chance have time to go swimming with me?" "Yeah!"
"Get your suit."
Both adults watched the boy dash from the room. Bailey was still smiling when she said, "That was nice of you."
"The nice person is Peter," Gabe stated plainly. "He never clamors for my attention, but he's always receptive to it. Standing here I suddenly realized we haven't done anything in ages, and I simply miss him."
Bailey looked touched, but Gabe didn't stop.
"I hope you know how much I love him, Bailey."
"I do, Gabe. And while we're on the subject of feelings, Evan tells me I've been short, especially with the kids. If I've done or said anything to hurt you, Gabe, I'm sorry."
"Thank you, but I can't think of anything."
"Are you the person who folded that load of laundry and put it on my bed?"
"Yes."
"Thank you for that."
"You're welcome, but unless I find socks and T-shirts in the next load, I won't be doing it again."
Bailey looked confused until Gabe said, "You had a number of rather feminine garments in there, Bales."
Bailey smiled a little. "You've never given it any thought before."
"Trust me," he stated, his voice dry as he headed for the door to find his own swimming suit,
"I do now."
Bailey just barely held her laughter, even as she asked God to work a miracle in Lily Walsh's heart. She didn't know exactly what it should look like, but in the end she wanted Lily watching her brother the way he watched her, and staying with them in Hawaii until they were all gray with age.
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Lily took her shoes off the moment her feet hit the sand, never tiring of the feeling. The sand was hot and coarse, and her feet weren't that tough yet, but somehow it always felt very soothing.
So intent was Lily on her feet that it took a moment to see that Ashton was on the veranda. He was waxing a surfboard.
"Hi, Lily," he greeted her.
"Hi, Ash. Are you going surfing?"
"I am. Want to come?"
Lily smiled. "Can I watch instead?"
"Sure, but if you change your mind..."
Lily only laughed and joined the youngest Kapaia, taking a chair to watch him work.
"How was golfing?"
Lily's eyes went to sea.
"Not too good," she said quietly.
"Did you get hurt?"
"No."
"Did Gabe get hurt?"
"No," Lily answered, now turning to look at him. "Did anyone get hurt?" "No, it wasn't like that." "Well, that's certainly a relief."
Lily wasn't sure if she agreed with him or not, but he had given her something to think about. "So what did happen?" "I hit a ball into a golf cart and dented it." "How did Gabe react?" "Quite calmly." "And how did you react?" "I just stood there."
"And how about now? Are you still upset?" "I am, yes." "Is Gabe?"
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Lily thought about their conversation in the car and had to admit, "I don't believe he is."
Ashton's brows rose before saying, "Being the youngest, I learned something a long time ago, Lily: Take your cue from the person in charge."
Lily wasn't exactly sure what this meant, but she was figuring it out fast. Why did she insist on being so upset when Gabe was ready to forget the whole episode and try again tomorrow? The answer wasn't long in coming: her father. Somehow she didn't think he would take the harming of someone's property this lightly.
"Penny for them," Ashton's voice broke into her contemplations.
"Excuse me?"
"Penny for your thoughts."
"They're not worth that much."
"Tell me something, Lily. Does anyone in Kashien make you feel as though you matter?"
Lily had all she could do to keep her mouth closed, even as her heart asked the question, Is my self-image truly so low? The answer was not a simple one. Off the top of her head she would say yes, it was low. But upon further reflection, she realized that women from her village in Kashien gave little thought to how they were treated. It was simply a way of life. A woman learned at an early age from whom to gain emotional support. It usually didn't come from male family members, but other females. Women friends were another element in the picture, but here it was so different. Bailey had been a great encouragement to Lily, but so had her brothers. Lily's own brother was a source of reassurance, but Jeff was different. He had lived 18 years in the Kashienese culture but was now very much "an American."
Lily sat thinking on all of this until she realized that Ashton was watching her. Lily immediately knew why.
"I didn't answer your question, did I?"
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"No, and you don't have to. I'm just trying to figure out if I need to apologize." "You don't."
"I wish it were that simple." "Why isn't it?"
"Because I can't take your word for it. You don't expect anything from anyone, so you might not have the right view of how I just treated you."
Lily was growing upset; she even came to her feet.
"That's just plain insulting," she said, her voice low with anger.
"Why is it insulting?"
"You're saying I don't even know my own mind."
"I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry it came out that way. I meant to say that your bias might not let you be as honest with me as you need to be."
Lily had to think on this, but her thoughts were in a muddle. In the midst of them, Ashton stood.
"For the record," he went on, "it's good to see you get angry. I was sure you were capable of great passion. It's nice to know I was right. It gives me great hope."
"Hope for what?"
Ashton smiled hugely, his board going under his arm.
"I'll tell you about it someday." This said, he shoved a stick of gum in his mouth and handed one to Lily.
"Ashton," she began in her normal voice, not even looking down at the gum, "I feel I need "
"Don't even go there," he said, his voice not at all teasing.
Lily blinked.
"Were you about to apologize to me?" Lily gave a small nod.
"I'll make a deal with you, Lily," Ashton began, his voice completely back to normal as well. "You can get angry at me, and when I think you were unjust or that you sinned against me, I'll tell you so you can make it right. Prior to my telling you that I
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think you were wrong, I want you to speak your mind to me, even if you feel angry. Deal?"
"Deal," Lily said, not thinking she had a choice.
I'm off," Ashton stated. He turned toward the sea but then paused and looked back. "Unless we still need to discuss this."
"No, that's fine" was all Lily could muster just before Ashton gave a wave and jogged across the sand. Realizing her legs would no longer support her, Lily let her body sink back down to the chair, wondering if there had ever been another time when she was quite this emotionally exhausted.
"Okay," Peter called. "Watch this one." Peter did a silly jump from the diving board to his uncle, who waited for him in the deep end.
"That was a good one. A nine at the very least." "Let's dive for rings!" "Okay. Where are they?" "I'll get 'em."
Gabe lay on his back, his eyes on the sky as Peter made quick strokes to the edge of the pool and then scrambled over to the hot tub for the rings. He was back before Gabe was ready to move, but he forced himself to dive with his nephew when all his body wanted to do was sleep.
"Gabe?" Peter said when he had tired of that game; they had played at least a dozen since getting in the pool.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think we can eat lunch out here?" "I'm sure we can. What sounds good?" "Can you barbecue hamburgers?"
Gabe laughed, finally understanding why Peter's voice had been so hesitant and hopeful.
"I doubt if we have any meat thawed, buddy, but we can check."
"Do we have hot dogs thawed?"
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"Even if we don't, hot dogs will work if they're frozen."
Peter's answer to this was to throw his arms around his uncles neck; only Gabe's strong legs kept their heads above water.
"So drowning me is my reward for agreeing to barbecue?" Gabe gently teased Peter, holding him close in the water.
"I love you, Gabe," Peter said, leaning back to look into his uncle's eyes.
"I love you, Pete. You're my favorite nephew."
The little boy smiled. I'm your only nephew."
That we know of were Gabe's private thoughts as he remembered his sister's condition and gave the little boy a kiss.
"Shall we go see if we have some hot dogs?"
"Yeah! Chips, too, and Pepsi."
"Works for me."
The twosome made their way from the pool to dry off. Peter climbed onto Gabe's back for a ride to the kitchen, both with the makings of a feast in mind.
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Chapter 17
"Here you are," Gabe said as he stepped onto the veranda and found Lily just coming back from the beach.
Still feeling very weary, Lily only looked at him, not certain how she was supposed to respond and wishing that the walk she'd just taken along the shore had done something for her turbulent emotions.
"We're having lunch by the pool if you want to join us."
"Thank you."
Gabe looked at her. The words were said in a wooden voice, and Gabe had never seen Lily looking so tired. "Are you all right, Lily?" "I don't know."
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I think I can. I mean, Ash wouldn't mind, I'm sure, and I would really like your advice about what to do." "Okay."
"I got angry with Ash, and he was pleased."
Gabe's face lit up with delight. "You got angry at Ash?"
Lily had all she could do not to burst into tears. Her hand came to her mouth, and all she could think was Please help me, Jeff. I'm so lost and confused right now. Someone please help me.
"I'm sorry, Lily," Gabe was swift to say. "Here, sit down and tell me what happened."
Lily took a moment to collect herself and then told the story. She ended with, "Gabe, I'm so confused. Why would Ash wish me to be angry with him?"
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"He doesn't want you to be angry with him as much as he wants you to feel free to have your say. It's about how much we value you."
"It's like you tried to explain to me in the kitchen the other night, isn't it?"
"Exactly. You have very few rights where you come from, Lily. In my opinion, Americans have too many rights, but a balance is needed here. You don't have to lower your eyes to show that you have respect for us I think you've learned that and in the same vein, you can also say that you don't wish to do something or that a comment hurt your feelings. We're not going to make you feel like you don't matter."
Lily nodded slowly and heard her stomach rumble. She then realized that Gabe had offered her lunch. Had she kept him from his? Lily was ready to ask when she realized this was just the kind of thing he was talking about.
I'm afraid to be a bit of bother to anyone. Did you know that?"
Gabe nodded, his gaze growing a bit tender over his pleasure that she was seeing this for herself.
"I don't know why exactly. I mean, I know my father cares for me, but you've used the word value, and that has given me much to think about."
"The time is going by swiftly," Gabe forced himself to face that fact and admit. "You have only about a month left with us. We want this time to be great fun. We want you to be able to return to Kashien so full of good memories and our good care of you that you'll never forget. But mostly we want our relationship with you to be all it can be. You've seen the way we treat each other. We want you to be part of the family too."