“I don’t like forfeiting.”
“I think of it as more of a win/win. I love you forever and you just love me back… honestly even if you didn’t love me back I still wouldn’t go away. I’m annoying like that. Stay… Ames… stay with me.”
My vision blurred with tears as Ax shifted away from me and dropped to his knees. “Marry me.”
I couldn’t speak.
I wanted to.
Nothing came out of my mouth.
Ax reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out my stuffed lamb, the small ugly thing he’d given me when I was little. My most prized possession.
“A ring—” he held the lamb up. “—would look cheap, next to something you hold so dear.” His voice cracked. “Let me take care of you… Let me love you, Ames. Please… I can’t live without you. I don’t think I’m capable of living through that type of hell again.”
“Are you proposing to me with a stuffed animal?” I laughed as tears streamed down my cheeks.
He flicked a glance at the toy then met my eyes wearing a silly grin. “Yeah.”
“Just checking.” I let out a cross between a laugh and a sob then tackled him to the ground, our mouths collided, the lamb was thrown to the side, no longer as important as it was before — I had the real thing. The giver of my favorite gift. I had Ax.
“I love you so much, Ames.” He kissed my tears away, kissed my eyelids, his warm lips slid over mine, his tongue pushed into my mouth. He increased the pressure of the kiss changing it from urgency to passion, desire, everything I’ve ever wanted in life — from the only man who was ever capable of giving it.
“I love you too,” I said against his lips, not wanting to pull away, for fear he would disappear and this would all be a dream, a weird, blockbuster mafia style dream. “With everything I have.”
“I just want you to love me with something — I don’t even need everything Ames — but I’ll take it just the same.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Axton
WE DECIDED TO plan the wedding for that coming weekend. That gave the guys enough time to spread the word and get the rest of the families ready for what Nixon had still tried to convince us would be “no big deal.”
Right.
Shooting two people at a wedding, what? Made it a party?
“Hey.” I knocked on Amy’s door and let myself in.
She gasped, and held the towel — all she was wearing — tighter around her body. “By all means, come right on in.”
“Thanks.” I grinned suggestively. “Don’t let me keep you from getting dressed… I’m a patient man, I can wait.”
Her eyebrows arched. “Something you need, Ax?”
I wet my lips with my tongue as I allowed my eyes to wander over the goods. When her breathing visibly quickened, I pursed my lips and sent her an air kiss. “Need, want, desire. Take your pick.”
She trembled as she murmured in a breathy voice, “I’m going to be late.”
“So be late.” I moved towards the door and turned the lock then leaned against it. “I’m sure the girls will understand if you and I need to go over… more details.”
“Details?” Her laugh was deep, sexy as hell. “So that’s why you barged in, you want to go over details?”
“Sure?” I tilted my head to get a better view of her killer legs. “Long legs, short towel… remind me to stop buying you clothes. I like you better this way.”
“Ax.” Her cheeks blossomed with color. She took a step back and looked away. “Seriously I should go.”
I made my way towards her. She scrambled back more. Confused, I paused and held my hands up. “Talk to me, what’s got you all flushed and nervous?”
“Y-you,” she clenched the towel tighter around her body. I tilted my head again, maybe if I just fell to my knees and begged?
“Me?”
Amy nodded once and then turned bright red. “I um… don’t have experience.”
“With weddings?” I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.
“Well yeah that too but… with…” She swallowed and blushed even redder. Damn the color looked good on her.
“I know I’m brilliant, but I’m not a mind reader.”
Amy kept one hand over the towel, her knuckles turning white, and then put her other hand over her face. “I’m a virgin.”
I barked out a laugh of relief.
“Out.” She pointed to the door. “Forget this happened, never mind, just, just go.” Tears filled her eyes.
I didn’t budge. The smile fell from my face. “Is that why you’re so worked up?”
A single tear slid down her cheek before she could stop it.
“Ames, come here.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’ll be late and—”
I gripped her elbow, slamming her body into mine. “Look at me.”
Her eyes were zeroed in on my chin.
“In the eyes.”
Slowly, her head lifted, her eyes were still watery, uncertain.
“I’d take you any way I can get you Amy, you know that… regardless of your sexual experience. You’re mine. All mine. In fact, I think we’re both lucky you’re a virgin. Now I won’t have to go kill any other guy who dared put his hands on you. And don’t doubt me, I know the other guys have had similar thoughts about their women and I’m pretty sure Tex tried to follow through on it — three times before Nixon stopped him. Just think — your virginity just saved a life.”
Amy’s lips moved, but she bit down on them.
“Aw, were you gonna smile, baby? Come on, one smile, just for me.”
With a huff she smiled and my world was complete.
“I love you.” I touched my forehead to hers. “You don’t need to be embarrassed or afraid… it’s me… your best friend. Not a stranger. We’ll go as slow as you need to, alright?”
Her blush wasn’t as bright as she nodded her head then kissed me softly on the mouth. Her taste was so sweet, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get enough of it. With a groan I pulled back. “Right, and if you really want me to keep my promise of not letting you be late for your little spa appointment with the wives then you shouldn’t kiss me like that.”
She kissed me again, harder.
I moaned again, flattening my hands against her chest, ready to push her away and then her tongue flicked mine.
And waiting suddenly seemed like such a dirty, horrible, awful word. Whoever invented it should be shot, along with whoever invented towels, or clothes for that matter.
Her body was warm, still a bit damp from the shower. I slid my hands down her arms as I deepened the kiss.
A knock sounded at the door.
“Go away.” I broke from our kiss long enough to say two words then dove my hands into her hair, crushing my mouth against hers.
The knock got louder.
“Wasn’t kidding,” I yelled. Amy reached for my shirt, tugging me back to her. Fingernails grazed my skin. I shivered and flipped her around, pushing her against the door.
“Guys!” It was Phoenix. “The girls are all downstairs waiting and we all know what happens when the wives wait.”
I broke the kiss.
Amy giggled.
They made Phoenix’s life a living hell, that’s what. They liked to pester him, mainly because he’d been like a corpse the past few weeks and they were trying to bring back his good humor. It did the exact opposite, but whatever.
“He’s suffering.” Amy stepped back.
“Good, let him suffer.” I growled reaching for her arm, but grabbing the towel instead. It fell to the floor.
My eyes stayed glued to her body.
Amy’s widened with horror and then amusement as she moved away from me and went into the walk-in closet, shutting the door behind her.
Cursing, I pulled open the bedroom door just as Phoenix lifted his hand to knock again. I pushed against his chest. “Pistols at dawn, asshole.”
“Can Nixon be my second?”
“No, you get no second.
I hate you so much right now.”
Phoenix grinned. “Did I interrupt something important?”
“You know damn well.” I poked him in the chest. “Just… wait, just you wait, that’s all I’m saying. One day a girl’s going to knock you on your ass and I’m going to be your freaking shadow… interrupting every sacred moment you have with her until you’re ready to pull a gun on me.”
“Not happening.” Phoenix said quickly, slapping me on the back.
“He’s gay,” Bee said breezing by us.
I froze.
Phoenix cursed. “What the hell, Bee?”
“What?” She lifted her shoulders innocently. “I changed in front of you all the time when you were guarding me and you didn’t even blink.”
“Correction,” he said through clenched teeth. “You could have warned me every damn time, rather than just pulling off clothes and throwing them in my direction. I’m not your maid.”
“Right.” Bee shrugged innocently. “And every time I tossed something in your face and you didn’t react, it made me want to do it again, like an experiment.”
“Ah, science, good to hear you’re studying, sis.” Tex popped his knuckles as he approached. “So, we talking about school?”
“Yeah.” Phoenix’s jaw cracked. “School.”
Tex nodded. “The girls are getting antsy, Amy almost ready?”
“Sorry!” Amy came rushing out, her hair in a messy bun. The girls were getting hair, makeup, pedicures — the works. So it’s not like she had to get ready — she’d never looked so beautiful to me.
“Great.” Tex pulled her in for a hug. I kept my growl to myself. And Phoenix glared at Bee.
“Let’s go,” I announced, letting everyone go in front of me. When I turned around to make sure Phoenix and Bee were following, she was touching his arm, and the poor guy looked like her touch was agony, nothing but pain as his eyes flinched and he jerked away. Bee frowned and shouldered past me. When Phoenix fell into step beside me, I whispered, “You okay?”
“Nope. Won’t be okay until Tex takes her off my hands.” He sighed. “Until then… I think of it as getting my just reward.”
“For what?”
He grimaced. “Being such an ass in my former life. If this is God’s punishment, he’s doing a damn good job of reminding me to amend my ways.”
“So.” I coughed. “Not really gay?”
“Not anything.” Phoenix looked down. “I don’t deserve love… and that’s the truth, not some pitiful excuse for why I can’t settle down. I just simply, don’t deserve it…”
He walked away.
Clearly not noticing that Bee’s gaze was on him every movement.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Amy
“YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.” Mil pulled me in for a hug while Trace, Nixon’s wife, and Mo, Tex’s wife, messed with my train. I didn’t have any friends, so they were my bridesmaids.
The wives.
Though after going to the spa with them the day before I had come to realize they were more than just the wives. Somehow I’d pictured them as The Real Housewives mob style — too much money and too much free time on their hands. I was surprised to find out that both Mo and Trace were going back to school to finish their degrees and actually had hobbies that didn’t include carting around those flashy black cards with no limit.
“I’d kill for this dress.” Trace walked around the train and shook her head, a bright smile in place. “Seriously… it’s gorgeous Amy.”
The warmth of a strong blush invaded my face. “Mil picked it out.”
“Mil.” Trace nodded. “Remind me to have you pick out an entire wardrobe for me.”
“Done.” Mil winked and offered me a bottled water.
“You ready for this?” Mo said from my other side. The girls were all in simple black strapless cocktail dresses and red heels. I’d wanted something elegant. It was my wedding after all and I knew all the girls would look beautiful if we did a black tie wedding.
Luckily, Ax couldn’t care less; he just wanted to get married.
It helped that money wasn’t really an object so when we needed to throw something together that fast, it wasn’t an obstacle trying to find a place and get everything decorated.
The only thing I wasn’t able to choose was the location. Nixon wanted to control the atmosphere, so we were getting married at a winery that he owned, outside of the city.
Made sense.
“I’m ready… I think I’m ready.” I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. The dress was classy. It fell off the shoulders but still had lace sleeves that went all the way down to my wrists. The bodice was see-through lace except for a small covering that went across my breasts. White satin gathered around my waist, pulling into a knot towards the back of the dress then flared out into a long heavy train that was around seven feet long.
Like Trace said, it was a killer dress. I was going to ask to spend every anniversary in it.
Or maybe every day.
“He’s here.” Nixon popped his head in the room. “So I need you guys to be ready.”
“Now?” I squeaked out. “But the ceremony’s about to start, you’re going to… to shoot him before I say ‘I do’?”
“Course not.” Nixon grins was ice cold. “I’m going to shoot him before you walk down the aisle…”
“Comforting.” Trace nodded to her husband. “Good job, Nixon.”
With an exaggerated eye roll, he closed the door while I tried not to hyperventilate.
The sound of Mil loading her gun wasn’t helping.
Or Mo pulling a knife from her bra.
When I turned to Trace for help she was busy loading a pistol.
“You guys are all insane,” I breathed.
“I prefer prepared.” Mil grinned, then stuffed the gun back in her small clutch. “No worries, we just want to make sure you’re protected. I’d like to think both me and Trace are amazing shots, and Mo can take a guy down with a single blade. Don’t worry, we won’t let anyone ruin your day.”
“Right.” I suddenly felt like I needed some sort of weapon, but just the idea of it made me feel a bit lightheaded.
Another knock sounded at the door. “Ready?” Tex poked his head in.
“But—”
“No worries.” Tex opened the door wider and offered his arm. “I’ve got it covered.”
“Covered?” I looked around. “You mean my father?”
“Oh, he had to go… um… he just had to go.”
“Who got the shot in?” Mo crossed her arms.
“Stupid Chase,” Tex grumbled. “I almost had him too and then Chase goes and decides to be a hero.”
“So damn sexy.” Mil laughed.
Tex narrowed his eyes. “He didn’t want me getting blood on my suit on account that I’m important.”
“Just keep telling yourself that, big guy.” Mo handed Mil a twenty.
“Wait.” Tex pointed. “What’s that? Why’s money exchanging hands?”
“Oh crap, sorry.” Trace reached into her clutch and pulled out a twenty and handed it to Mil.
Tex looked ready to kill. “Explain.”
“We made a simple wager to see which one of you would get the bad guy first.” Mil shrugged innocently. “I win.”
Mo covered her mouth with her hands and hid her laughter then stepped up to her husband and kissed him on the cheek. “You tried really hard though, and that’s all that matters, sweetheart.”
Tex grumbled something under his breath but seemed momentarily pleased at the fact that Mo was praising him like he’d just conquered the world. His chest puffed up a bit, and then he softened when she whispered something in his ear. His hand tightened on her waist.
“Wedding.” Mil clapped. “You guys can play later.”
“Right.” Tex reluctantly let his wife go and offered me his arm.
I stared at it.
He kept his arm out.
I stared some more.
“Ok
ay then.” Tex chuckled. “I’m walking you down the aisle, thought Ax told you.”
“You?” I blurted.
The girls laughed. Tex frowned. “Why not me?”
“You’re the Cappo.”
“Say it again.” He winked.
“Down boy.” Mo thumped him in the chest.
“I mean…” Heat flooded my cheeks. “I’m just a De Lange, you shouldn’t be walking me down the aisle… wouldn’t it be… wrong?”
Tex reached for my hand and squeezed it. “You’re not just a De Lange, you’re family and nothing would make me more proud then to walk you down that aisle in front of the most powerful families known to our kind. So, will you take it?”
Not trusting my voice, I nodded, and took his arm, shaking as the sound of classical music invaded my ears. The girls rushed past me and then slowly made their way outside and down the aisle. It was lined with white candles of all shapes and sizes.
The sun was setting, casting a rosy glow on the white chairs and the people sitting in them.
The wedding march began.
I clenched Tex’s arm tighter, but he didn’t move. Curious, I looked up at him, thinking maybe he’d changed his mind. Instead, he turned to me and whispered in my ear. “Your own father’s a bastard. I’m not saying I’m anything but ugly… what I do is ugly… but it’s moments like this that make life beautiful. I promise to protect you until my dying day. I promise our families will do everything in their power to make what was done to you right… So when you walk down this aisle and accept that man’s hand, know that we take those vows right along with you guys. And if Ax ever hurts you, mentally, physically, hell if he forgets your anniversary, you just let me know.”
With a watery smile I launched myself into his arms and hugged him. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” he said gruffly. “Now let’s get you married.”
Ax’s eyes never left mine. He was beautiful. I’d always wanted to be with him, and now I was marrying him. It was weird, how I’d always been afraid of the very type of people who were now offering me love, life, and happiness. I fought a smile as Nixon elbowed Chase and then pointed at his shirt. Naturally a spot of blood was poking out on the white. Chase rolled his eyes and shrugged as if to say, what can a guy do?