Chapter 19
Dolly Varden's pretty little head was yet bewildered by variousrecollections of the party, and her bright eyes were yet dazzled by acrowd of images, dancing before them like motes in the sunbeams, amongwhich the effigy of one partner in particular did especially figure, thesame being a young coachmaker (a master in his own right) who had givenher to understand, when he handed her into the chair at parting, thatit was his fixed resolve to neglect his business from that time, and dieslowly for the love of her--Dolly's head, and eyes, and thoughts, andseven senses, were all in a state of flutter and confusion for which theparty was accountable, although it was now three days old, when, asshe was sitting listlessly at breakfast, reading all manner of fortunes(that is to say, of married and flourishing fortunes) in the grounds ofher teacup, a step was heard in the workshop, and Mr Edward Chesterwas descried through the glass door, standing among the rusty locks andkeys, like love among the roses--for which apt comparison the historianmay by no means take any credit to himself, the same being theinvention, in a sentimental mood, of the chaste and modest Miggs, who,beholding him from the doorsteps she was then cleaning, did, in hermaiden meditation, give utterance to the simile.
The locksmith, who happened at the moment to have his eyes thrown upwardand his head backward, in an intense communing with Toby, did not seehis visitor, until Mrs Varden, more watchful than the rest, had desiredSim Tappertit to open the glass door and give him admission--from whichuntoward circumstance the good lady argued (for she could deduce aprecious moral from the most trifling event) that to take a draught ofsmall ale in the morning was to observe a pernicious, irreligious, andPagan custom, the relish whereof should be left to swine, and Satan, orat least to Popish persons, and should be shunned by the righteous asa work of sin and evil. She would no doubt have pursued her admonitionmuch further, and would have founded on it a long list of preciousprecepts of inestimable value, but that the young gentleman standing byin a somewhat uncomfortable and discomfited manner while she readher spouse this lecture, occasioned her to bring it to a prematureconclusion.
'I'm sure you'll excuse me, sir,' said Mrs Varden, rising andcurtseying. 'Varden is so very thoughtless, and needs so muchreminding--Sim, bring a chair here.'
Mr Tappertit obeyed, with a flourish implying that he did so, underprotest.
'And you can go, Sim,' said the locksmith.
Mr Tappertit obeyed again, still under protest; and betaking himself tothe workshop, began seriously to fear that he might find it necessary topoison his master, before his time was out.
In the meantime, Edward returned suitable replies to Mrs Varden'scourtesies, and that lady brightened up very much; so that when heaccepted a dish of tea from the fair hands of Dolly, she was perfectlyagreeable.
'I am sure if there's anything we can do,--Varden, or I, or Dollyeither,--to serve you, sir, at any time, you have only to say it, and itshall be done,' said Mrs V.
'I am much obliged to you, I am sure,' returned Edward. 'You encourageme to say that I have come here now, to beg your good offices.'
Mrs Varden was delighted beyond measure.
'It occurred to me that probably your fair daughter might be going tothe Warren, either to-day or to-morrow,' said Edward, glancing at Dolly;'and if so, and you will allow her to take charge of this letter, ma'am,you will oblige me more than I can tell you. The truth is, that whileI am very anxious it should reach its destination, I have particularreasons for not trusting it to any other conveyance; so that withoutyour help, I am wholly at a loss.'
'She was not going that way, sir, either to-day, or to-morrow, norindeed all next week,' the lady graciously rejoined, 'but we shall bevery glad to put ourselves out of the way on your account, and if youwish it, you may depend upon its going to-day. You might suppose,' saidMrs Varden, frowning at her husband, 'from Varden's sitting there soglum and silent, that he objected to this arrangement; but you must notmind that, sir, if you please. It's his way at home. Out of doors, hecan be cheerful and talkative enough.'
Now, the fact was, that the unfortunate locksmith, blessing his stars tofind his helpmate in such good humour, had been sitting with a beamingface, hearing this discourse with a joy past all expression. Whereforethis sudden attack quite took him by surprise.
'My dear Martha--' he said.
'Oh yes, I dare say,' interrupted Mrs Varden, with a smile of mingledscorn and pleasantry. 'Very dear! We all know that.'
'No, but my good soul,' said Gabriel, 'you are quite mistaken. You areindeed. I was delighted to find you so kind and ready. I waited, mydear, anxiously, I assure you, to hear what you would say.'
'You waited anxiously,' repeated Mrs V. 'Yes! Thank you, Varden. Youwaited, as you always do, that I might bear the blame, if any came ofit. But I am used to it,' said the lady with a kind of solemn titter,'and that's my comfort!'
'I give you my word, Martha--' said Gabriel.
'Let me give you MY word, my dear,' interposed his wife with a Christiansmile, 'that such discussions as these between married people, are muchbetter left alone. Therefore, if you please, Varden, we'll drop thesubject. I have no wish to pursue it. I could. I might say a great deal.But I would rather not. Pray don't say any more.'
'I don't want to say any more,' rejoined the goaded locksmith.
'Well then, don't,' said Mrs Varden.
'Nor did I begin it, Martha,' added the locksmith, good-humouredly, 'Imust say that.'
'You did not begin it, Varden!' exclaimed his wife, opening her eyesvery wide and looking round upon the company, as though she would say,You hear this man! 'You did not begin it, Varden! But you shall not sayI was out of temper. No, you did not begin it, oh dear no, not you, mydear!'
'Well, well,' said the locksmith. 'That's settled then.'
'Oh yes,' rejoined his wife, 'quite. If you like to say Dolly began it,my dear, I shall not contradict you. I know my duty. I need know it,I am sure. I am often obliged to bear it in mind, when my inclinationperhaps would be for the moment to forget it. Thank you, Varden.' Andso, with a mighty show of humility and forgiveness, she folded herhands, and looked round again, with a smile which plainly said, 'If youdesire to see the first and foremost among female martyrs, here she is,on view!'
This little incident, illustrative though it was of Mrs Varden'sextraordinary sweetness and amiability, had so strong a tendency tocheck the conversation and to disconcert all parties but that excellentlady, that only a few monosyllables were uttered until Edward withdrew;which he presently did, thanking the lady of the house a great manytimes for her condescension, and whispering in Dolly's ear that he wouldcall on the morrow, in case there should happen to be an answer to thenote--which, indeed, she knew without his telling, as Barnaby and hisfriend Grip had dropped in on the previous night to prepare her for thevisit which was then terminating.
Gabriel, who had attended Edward to the door, came back with his handsin his pockets; and, after fidgeting about the room in a very uneasymanner, and casting a great many sidelong looks at Mrs Varden (whowith the calmest countenance in the world was five fathoms deep inthe Protestant Manual), inquired of Dolly how she meant to go. Dollysupposed by the stage-coach, and looked at her lady mother, who findingherself silently appealed to, dived down at least another fathom intothe Manual, and became unconscious of all earthly things.
'Martha--' said the locksmith.
'I hear you, Varden,' said his wife, without rising to the surface.
'I am sorry, my dear, you have such an objection to the Maypole and oldJohn, for otherways as it's a very fine morning, and Saturday's nota busy day with us, we might have all three gone to Chigwell in thechaise, and had quite a happy day of it.'
Mrs Varden immediately closed the Manual, and bursting into tears,requested to be led upstairs.
'What is the matter now, Martha?' inquired the locksmith.
To which Martha rejoined, 'Oh! don't speak to me,' and protested inagony that if anybody had told her so, she wouldn't have believed it.
'But, Martha,' said Gabriel, putting himself in the way as she wasmoving off with the aid of Dolly's shoulder, 'wouldn't have believedwhat? Tell me what's wrong now. Do tell me. Upon my soul I don't know.Do YOU know, child? Damme!' cried the locksmith, plucking at his wig ina kind of frenzy, 'nobody does know, I verily believe, but Miggs!'
'Miggs,' said Mrs Varden faintly, and with symptoms of approachingincoherence, 'is attached to me, and that is sufficient to draw downhatred upon her in this house. She is a comfort to me, whatever she maybe to others.'
'She's no comfort to me,' cried Gabriel, made bold by despair. 'She'sthe misery of my life. She's all the plagues of Egypt in one.'
'She's considered so, I have no doubt,' said Mrs Varden. 'I was preparedfor that; it's natural; it's of a piece with the rest. When you tauntme as you do to my face, how can I wonder that you taunt her behind herback!' And here the incoherence coming on very strong, Mrs Varden wept,and laughed, and sobbed, and shivered, and hiccoughed, and choked; andsaid she knew it was very foolish but she couldn't help it; and thatwhen she was dead and gone, perhaps they would be sorry for it--whichreally under the circumstances did not appear quite so probable as sheseemed to think--with a great deal more to the same effect. In a word,she passed with great decency through all the ceremonies incidental tosuch occasions; and being supported upstairs, was deposited in a highlyspasmodic state on her own bed, where Miss Miggs shortly afterwardsflung herself upon the body.
The philosophy of all this was, that Mrs Varden wanted to go toChigwell; that she did not want to make any concession or explanation;that she would only go on being implored and entreated so to do; andthat she would accept no other terms. Accordingly, after a vast amountof moaning and crying upstairs, and much damping of foreheads, andvinegaring of temples, and hartshorning of noses, and so forth;and after most pathetic adjurations from Miggs, assisted by warmbrandy-and-water not over-weak, and divers other cordials, also ofa stimulating quality, administered at first in teaspoonfuls andafterwards in increasing doses, and of which Miss Miggs herself partookas a preventive measure (for fainting is infectious); after all theseremedies, and many more too numerous to mention, but not to take,had been applied; and many verbal consolations, moral, religious, andmiscellaneous, had been super-added thereto; the locksmith humbledhimself, and the end was gained.
'If it's only for the sake of peace and quietness, father,' said Dolly,urging him to go upstairs.
'Oh, Doll, Doll,' said her good-natured father. 'If you ever have ahusband of your own--'
Dolly glanced at the glass.
'--Well, WHEN you have,' said the locksmith, 'never faint, my darling.More domestic unhappiness has come of easy fainting, Doll, than from allthe greater passions put together. Remember that, my dear, if you wouldbe really happy, which you never can be, if your husband isn't. And aword in your ear, my precious. Never have a Miggs about you!'
With this advice he kissed his blooming daughter on the cheek, andslowly repaired to Mrs Varden's room; where that lady, lying all paleand languid on her couch, was refreshing herself with a sight of herlast new bonnet, which Miggs, as a means of calming her scatteredspirits, displayed to the best advantage at her bedside.
'Here's master, mim,' said Miggs. 'Oh, what a happiness it is when manand wife come round again! Oh gracious, to think that him and her shouldever have a word together!' In the energy of these sentiments, whichwere uttered as an apostrophe to the Heavens in general, Miss Miggsperched the bonnet on the top of her own head, and folding her hands,turned on her tears.
'I can't help it,' cried Miggs. 'I couldn't, if I was to be drownded in'em. She has such a forgiving spirit! She'll forget all that has passed,and go along with you, sir--Oh, if it was to the world's end, she'd goalong with you.'
Mrs Varden with a faint smile gently reproved her attendant for thisenthusiasm, and reminded her at the same time that she was far toounwell to venture out that day.
'Oh no, you're not, mim, indeed you're not,' said Miggs; 'I repeal tomaster; master knows you're not, mim. The hair, and motion of the shay,will do you good, mim, and you must not give way, you must not raly. Shemust keep up, mustn't she, sir, for all our sakes? I was a tellingher that, just now. She must remember us, even if she forgets herself.Master will persuade you, mim, I'm sure. There's Miss Dolly's a-goingyou know, and master, and you, and all so happy and so comfortable. Oh!'cried Miggs, turning on the tears again, previous to quitting the roomin great emotion, 'I never see such a blessed one as she is for theforgiveness of her spirit, I never, never, never did. Not more didmaster neither; no, nor no one--never!'
For five minutes or thereabouts, Mrs Varden remained mildly opposed toall her husband's prayers that she would oblige him by taking a day'spleasure, but relenting at length, she suffered herself to be persuaded,and granting him her free forgiveness (the merit whereof, she meeklysaid, rested with the Manual and not with her), desired that Miggs mightcome and help her dress. The handmaid attended promptly, and it is butjustice to their joint exertions to record that, when the good lady camedownstairs in course of time, completely decked out for the journey, shereally looked as if nothing had happened, and appeared in the very besthealth imaginable.
As to Dolly, there she was again, the very pink and pattern of goodlooks, in a smart little cherry-coloured mantle, with a hood of the samedrawn over her head, and upon the top of that hood, a little straw hattrimmed with cherry-coloured ribbons, and worn the merest trifle on oneside--just enough in short to make it the wickedest and most provokinghead-dress that ever malicious milliner devised. And not to speak of themanner in which these cherry-coloured decorations brightened her eyes,or vied with her lips, or shed a new bloom on her face, she wore sucha cruel little muff, and such a heart-rending pair of shoes, and was sosurrounded and hemmed in, as it were, by aggravations of all kinds, thatwhen Mr Tappettit, holding the horse's head, saw her come out of thehouse alone, such impulses came over him to decoy her into the chaiseand drive off like mad, that he would unquestionably have done it, butfor certain uneasy doubts besetting him as to the shortest way toGretna Green; whether it was up the street or down, or up the right-handturning or the left; and whether, supposing all the turnpikes to becarried by storm, the blacksmith in the end would marry them on credit;which by reason of his clerical office appeared, even to his excitedimagination, so unlikely, that he hesitated. And while he stoodhesitating, and looking post-chaises-and-six at Dolly, out came hismaster and his mistress, and the constant Miggs, and the opportunitywas gone for ever. For now the chaise creaked upon its springs, and MrsVarden was inside; and now it creaked again, and more than ever, andthe locksmith was inside; and now it bounded once, as if its heart beatlightly, and Dolly was inside; and now it was gone and its placewas empty, and he and that dreary Miggs were standing in the streettogether.
The hearty locksmith was in as good a humour as if nothing had occurredfor the last twelve months to put him out of his way, Dolly was allsmiles and graces, and Mrs Varden was agreeable beyond all precedent. Asthey jogged through the streets talking of this thing and of that, whoshould be descried upon the pavement but that very coachmaker, lookingso genteel that nobody would have believed he had ever had anything todo with a coach but riding in it, and bowing like any nobleman. Tobe sure Dolly was confused when she bowed again, and to be sure thecherry-coloured ribbons trembled a little when she met his mournful eye,which seemed to say, 'I have kept my word, I have begun, the business isgoing to the devil, and you're the cause of it.' There he stood, rootedto the ground: as Dolly said, like a statue; and as Mrs Varden said,like a pump; till they turned the corner: and when her father thoughtit was like his impudence, and her mother wondered what he meant by it,Dolly blushed again till her very hood was pale.
But on they went, not the less merrily for this, and there was thelocksmith in the incautious fulness of his heart 'pulling-up' at allmanner of places, and evincing a most intimate acquaintance with all thetaverns on the road, and all the landlords and all the landladies, withw
hom, indeed, the little horse was on equally friendly terms, for hekept on stopping of his own accord. Never were people so glad to seeother people as these landlords and landladies were to behold Mr Vardenand Mrs Varden and Miss Varden; and wouldn't they get out, said one; andthey really must walk upstairs, said another; and she would take itill and be quite certain they were proud if they wouldn't have a littletaste of something, said a third; and so on, that it was really quite aProgress rather than a ride, and one continued scene of hospitality frombeginning to end. It was pleasant enough to be held in such esteem, notto mention the refreshments; so Mrs Varden said nothing at the time,and was all affability and delight--but such a body of evidence asshe collected against the unfortunate locksmith that day, to be usedthereafter as occasion might require, never was got together formatrimonial purposes.
In course of time--and in course of a pretty long time too, for theseagreeable interruptions delayed them not a little,--they arrived uponthe skirts of the Forest, and riding pleasantly on among the trees, cameat last to the Maypole, where the locksmith's cheerful 'Yoho!' speedilybrought to the porch old John, and after him young Joe, both of whomwere so transfixed at sight of the ladies, that for a moment they wereperfectly unable to give them any welcome, and could do nothing butstare.
It was only for a moment, however, that Joe forgot himself, for speedilyreviving he thrust his drowsy father aside--to Mr Willet's mighty andinexpressible indignation--and darting out, stood ready to help them toalight. It was necessary for Dolly to get out first. Joe had her in hisarms;--yes, though for a space of time no longer than you could countone in, Joe had her in his arms. Here was a glimpse of happiness!
It would be difficult to describe what a flat and commonplace affair thehelping Mrs Varden out afterwards was, but Joe did it, and did it toowith the best grace in the world. Then old John, who, entertaining adull and foggy sort of idea that Mrs Varden wasn't fond of him, had beenin some doubt whether she might not have come for purposes of assaultand battery, took courage, hoped she was well, and offered to conducther into the house. This tender being amicably received, they marchedin together; Joe and Dolly followed, arm-in-arm, (happiness again!) andVarden brought up the rear.
Old John would have it that they must sit in the bar, and nobodyobjecting, into the bar they went. All bars are snug places, but theMaypole's was the very snuggest, cosiest, and completest bar, that everthe wit of man devised. Such amazing bottles in old oaken pigeon-holes;such gleaming tankards dangling from pegs at about the same inclinationas thirsty men would hold them to their lips; such sturdy little Dutchkegs ranged in rows on shelves; so many lemons hanging in separate nets,and forming the fragrant grove already mentioned in this chronicle,suggestive, with goodly loaves of snowy sugar stowed away hard by,of punch, idealised beyond all mortal knowledge; such closets, suchpresses, such drawers full of pipes, such places for putting thingsaway in hollow window-seats, all crammed to the throat with eatables,drinkables, or savoury condiments; lastly, and to crown all, as typicalof the immense resources of the establishment, and its defiances to allvisitors to cut and come again, such a stupendous cheese!
It is a poor heart that never rejoices--it must have been the poorest,weakest, and most watery heart that ever beat, which would not havewarmed towards the Maypole bar. Mrs Varden's did directly. She could nomore have reproached John Willet among those household gods, the kegsand bottles, lemons, pipes, and cheese, than she could have stabbed himwith his own bright carving-knife. The order for dinner too--it mighthave soothed a savage. 'A bit of fish,' said John to the cook, 'and somelamb chops (breaded, with plenty of ketchup), and a good salad, and aroast spring chicken, with a dish of sausages and mashed potatoes, orsomething of that sort.' Something of that sort! The resources ofthese inns! To talk carelessly about dishes, which in themselves werea first-rate holiday kind of dinner, suitable to one's wedding-day, assomething of that sort: meaning, if you can't get a spring chicken, anyother trifle in the way of poultry will do--such as a peacock, perhaps!The kitchen too, with its great broad cavernous chimney; the kitchen,where nothing in the way of cookery seemed impossible; where you couldbelieve in anything to eat, they chose to tell you of. Mrs Vardenreturned from the contemplation of these wonders to the bar again, witha head quite dizzy and bewildered. Her housekeeping capacity was notlarge enough to comprehend them. She was obliged to go to sleep. Wakingwas pain, in the midst of such immensity.
Dolly in the meanwhile, whose gay heart and head ran upon other matters,passed out at the garden door, and glancing back now and then (but ofcourse not wondering whether Joe saw her), tripped away by a path acrossthe fields with which she was well acquainted, to discharge her missionat the Warren; and this deponent hath been informed and verilybelieves, that you might have seen many less pleasant objects than thecherry-coloured mantle and ribbons, as they went fluttering along thegreen meadows in the bright light of the day, like giddy things as theywere.