Memories
‘Hey, thats Sana. I hated her so much. Wow. See.’ Sanjay exclaimed.
‘You hated everyone. She was a nice girl. She was the only girl who talked to me.’
‘That is why you are nice to her. But really, watching her here is so good.’
‘And look at her clothes man. All spoiled with colors and whiteners.’
‘She is a poster-maker.’
‘A female poster-maker?’
‘True’
‘Why don't she come inside and sit with us? Why is she standing on the door?’ Vinay curved his lips. Sana was standing right at the gate and seemed like she was searching someone.
‘Why don’t you say anything, Spandan? You have not said anything since you are here. You don’t like us or something? If you got any problem then let us know. We are here today to resolve all those old matters and to make a new beginning.’
‘It is nothing like this, friends. I just don’t know what to say at this moment.’
‘Do you have a tongue inside?’ Vinay asked.
‘You can say anything you like,’ Sanjay said. Spandan nodded and that was all. He didn’t say another word that night. Others accepted defeat.
‘I want to meet her.’ Vinay told Sudhir.
‘Do whatever you want. But please. I repeat. Please, don't call her here,’ Tanak warned him.
‘Why? You don't want to meet old friends. Or you stole her lunch at school,’ Vinay chirped.
‘You don't want to know.’
‘SANA, duuuhuu,’ Vinay called her. It was his lifelong hobby - to do what he had been told against.
‘Pig... Never say that I didn't stop you,’ and suddenly Tanak had a weight on his right shoulder. As if there was a hand. But there was nothing. Something heavy and strong was resting near his neck.
‘Never call me a pig again. He doesn't like it,’ Vinay touched Tanak and weight lifted to the ease of Tanak.
‘All of you are fucking cursed morons. Nothing else,’ Tanak moved his shoulder in anger.
‘You don't know what you are doing. Even God forgives such mistakes.’
‘hello, Sana... you are looking good,’ Sudhir told her.
‘Who is he?’ was the first question she asked and raised hand toward Tanak. Tanak acted like a deaf.
‘He is Tanak. You didn't recognize him? And he was scared of you,’ Vinay teased.
‘Oh! He is Tanak. Yes, I recognized you from the door. Just confirming to greet you nicely. Don't mind please.’
‘He wouldn't. He is glad. Aren’t you, Tanak.’
‘Let him speak for himself. Who are you? His uncle?’ Sana said. She felt something pushed her a little. She sat on an empty chair because of a sudden drunkenness came over her from nowhere.
‘Your drink,’ a girl came and gave the glass to Tanak. Vinay was having a tough time watching all this. First Sana and now this one.
‘Who is she?’ Sana asked others.
‘My girlfriend,’ Tanak said. Girl heard the most treasuring words. She was on the verge of tears but Sana interrupted.
‘You are joking,’ she was shocked. Sana asked others, ‘He is joking?’
‘He is right. Who are you to ask such things?’ the girl came ahead slightly in a ready-to-fight-if-needed position.
‘No... This is not true,’ Sana was scratching her jeans in anxiety.
‘God.. She is behaving like his wife. What is going on here?’ Vinay asked to Sanjay and Sudhir.
‘That is what he was saying.’
‘Re-union was a bad idea. Now let’s go home before this whole place would blow away.’
‘Relax... we are just have just started,’ Sudhir asked Tanak to come with him. Tanak obeyed. They went outside and Sudhir used his high pitch to say ‘ARTS CLASS’.
Sana (who looked shattered). Vinay (jealous). And Sanjay went that way. Assuming that Deep would come by himself. He was needed too. He completed the mess.
Spandan remained inside. They were still so distinct to befriend him. More than ever before.
They were self-talking about the whole blunder. Past six years. Suicides, blood, colors, money, sex, accidents, dreams, loneliness. But they were brave. They were fighters of life. They were standing in the storms with flags high. Few couldn't fight. Few lost and broke down. It wasn't their weakness or mistake. It was just their bad-luck to get caught inside it. To be at a wrong place at a wrong time.
‘Principal was inside in the front row,’ Vinay tried to start a conversation but no one replied. They were somewhere else.
At some distance some poor kids put fire over old newspapers to warm hands. They were kicking on the fire to show daring. They saw few adults coming. One girl and other boys. Tired, hopeless, burning and evil.
Kids intuition told them to give way as silently as possible. Intuitions shouldn't be missed.
‘See that? I made those,’ Sana told Vinay. Higher enough so Tanak couldn't miss.
‘Wow, nice. These are the posters of my show. Father told you to make these?’
‘No, this is a gift. Aren’t these beautiful?’
‘These are weird. What were you thinking while making them?’ Sanjay asked. Sudhir was hating his guts to criticize right over Sana’s face.
‘I wasn't thinking about anything. There were lines appearing in my mind and I moved my hands on paper accordingly. Are these ugly?’
‘Not ugly. But strange. This one feels like we are going deep inside vast ocean instead of a piano concert. I wouldn't make it like that.’
‘But you are not making it. Ever done anything except sitting at your home and eating-shitting.’
‘Easy-easy... Sanjay, please,’ Sudhir stopped sanjay from reacting.
‘Why are you so quite’ Sana asked Tanak ‘What do you say about my posters?’
‘Sanjay is right. You should do something else. Like embroidery or cooking.’
‘haha... You are talking to me like I am your girlfriend,’ Sana told blushing.
‘No, I am trying to insult you.’
‘Try harder. I am listening. You don't know how to insult people. You are so good that you can never degrade anyone.’
‘you don't even know me,’ Tanak told her. That poster deserved an exhibition. Not this park-wall He thought.
‘I know you. I liked you since school and I thought that I would let you know after the school ended. But only today I got that chance.’
‘What is she talking about? All these are white-lies. She didn't even know that a boy named 'Tanak' existed then,’ Vinay told Sanjay.
‘Isn't it interesting?’ Sanjay smiled.
‘Interesting, my stinking foot. You guys are here because of my concert and no one is praising me. I played so brilliant.’
‘You were good. Trust me on that. Keep it up. But we are not here for concert,’ Sudhir clapped a little.
‘What else? You wanna play kho-kho?’ Vinay asked impatiently.
‘I am with Sudhir. He wanted a reunion,’ Sanjay told.
‘It is good to build old relationships. And to strengthen bond. We are bonded by fate, stronger than you think. We are joined by our misfortunes. Dark bonds are stronger. Destiny is good in its job.’
‘Your piano is better than her posters’ Tanak said.
‘Now this is what I call a compliment,’ Vinay was happy after a long time. Being told better than someone else on face to face by an unexpected mouth was really a proud thing. But he didn't understand this. Why was Tanak continuously trying to show his disinterest in Sara? And why Sara was more and more interested in him, ignoring all his bad words.
‘You mean I was good too?’ Sara asked. Now she was making herself cheaper. She could get better than him anytime Vinay thought.
‘I want to do sex,’ every feet jammed by these words of Tanak. But its Sana's answer that was more shocking.
‘With me? Haha. Here? Now?’ Sara asked without any question over her face. She was ready to do anything on master's order.
‘You happy n
ow? That is what I was trying to say,’ Tanak told Vinay. Sara held Tanak's sleeves. He didn't stop her. She had done too much of hard work to get him. She could have that much now.
‘Hello’ someone greeted from behind.
‘Deep... Welcome to the club.
Tanak looked behind for the kids and they were still playing with fire.
‘come on Tanak... I am not a bad guy.’
‘No. you are not.’
‘you didn't introduced me to your girl.’
‘This is Sana. She was with us in class.’
‘I didn't know you two were together.’
‘Keep quite about this,’ Vinay waved a hand ‘we all are doing the same.’
‘Girls grow too fast. She is the one who used to wear boyish clothes,’ Deep laughed.
‘I still do. But not openely.’ Sana said.
‘Even I conserve my old clothes and belongings. There are memories in those things. In things and habits,’ Deep was wondering why no one was taunting him about killings. He wanted them to. Perhaps they had too many problems of their own.
Sitting in a park was a good idea. Some people were still their talking and walking. A boy approached Sanjay and asked if they wanted something to eat. He had a bucket of snacks, cold-drinks, cigarettes and tobacco pouches. He was a whole shop. And Sanjay knew that this boy could bring anything on special demands. Like heavy food or alcohol. Sanjay had been here before. They bought a few things. And Deep gave boy some money to buy him the light ball toy which he had seen outside. Boy had one such toy in his pocket which he sold it to Deep. Both were glad.
They were still silent. Everyone wanted to say something but was unable to find the right words. They were heavy-weighted with their sins and shames. A good-thing to say was a difficult job now.
‘So... What you are doing these days? Deep?’ Sudhir asked, not knowing why.
‘I am a private tuition teacher. What about you?’ he asked while checking out that light ball. It was emitting light on slight movements.
‘Running business. This is boring. I missed you people a lot,’ Sudhir answered. Sanjay was playing with his cell phone and Sana was putting chips in Tanak's mouth. Vinay was still trying to digest everything going on there.
‘Don't pamper him too much. It won't do any good,’ Vinay told her when he found himself unable to see this drama anymore.
‘He is right,’ Tanak spitted the chips, ‘too much salt. These companies don't know how to make chips. They use too less potato and too much salt. And they suppose people would love it. People eat it because they had no other choice in starvation,’ Tanak said. Sana put the packet on the grass. Everything from Tanak’s mouth was a gospel for her.
‘Eat it with soft-drink. It will dissolve the taste,’ Vinay suggested.
‘It is not about the taste. It is just making me angry. Everything is making me angry these days.’
‘Salt increases anger,’ Sana smiled. She opened her bag and produced a poster then gave it to Tanak, ‘this is for you.’
He saw that poster. It was a Desert on it. And one house was coming out of the sand.
‘Thanks,’ he said before putting it in his pocket.
I made it with hands. All the steps from sketching to filling. She wanted some nice words. That didn't come.
Vinay was playing piano in the air with closed eyes. Sudhir signed a visiting card and gave it to Tanak. Rest was obvious.
‘Come to my office anytime and take this along with you. Receptionist will send you straight to my cabin.’
‘Thanks man. This is so generous of you. Just call me if you want meat or something.’
‘I want meat,’ Vinay replied.
‘You are sounding like pimps,’ Sanjay blurred.
‘I didn't know all of you are so big bores. Or I would never come here on the first place,’ Sudhir said while chewing on mouthful of potato chips.
‘We are so interesting if we will come to that,’ Deep said.
‘And these chips are okay,’ Sudhir threw chips on Tanak. ‘Eat this. This is an order. I am your boss.’
‘No way. I am not going to do this for anything, sir.’
‘Holy hell... you call him Sir?’ Sanjay said, ‘anyone can give you a job. Don't respect him. He is still that cock-neck Sudhir.’
‘Shut up and eat it... Sanjay hold his hands. And Vinay you hold his motherfucking legs.’
‘And I got whiskey too. We would push chips inside and pour whiskey upon it,’ Sanjay's hand went inside his jacket.
‘Good idea’
‘No.. No one is going to do anything like this to me. I swear to God I don’t want to eat those chips,’
‘Leave him alone,’ Sana said.
‘hahha... I wanna help,’ Deep came closer.
‘Don't touch... No’ and Tanak was grabbed from all sides. Sanjay was sitting on him. Sana stood up and her hands were on mouth. It was one o’ clock of the morning. All of them were laughing and taking gulps from that steel whiskey flask with a Nazi logo over it. Slapping and joking on each other. Teasing for old foolishness. It was their night. Trying to forget the past. From far away few people were looking at them. Thinking about life and its games. About the seconds that arrive with luck. Soothing sight of an old group of friend playing and dancing in the park. Ice for the eyes. Like listening to a song unheard from the drawer of surprise. Share of happiness that comes with coincidence. With a desire to be grabbed forever by unlucky hands.