“I’m sorry you’re still so angry, but you didn’t have to go sleep in the woods during a snow storm on my account.”
“It wasn’t because I was angry,” he said, sitting to put his boots on.
“It wasn’t?” she asked. He didn’t want her to know it was because his bear would probably take her, no matter what she said, if he’d stayed.
“The boat’s capsized. Looks bad,” he said, changing the subject.
“Oh my God,” she moaned, sitting down on the bed. She looked terrified. “Can you fix it?”
“I’m a gardener, not a shipwright.” Ella looked even more worried. “But I know enough about boat repair that I can probably fix it. I’ll call Brock on the CB radio, and let him know that we’re stranded.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she whimpered.
He went to her and sat beside her on the bed. The smell of her body wafted around him. She smelled sweet and luscious. His eyes rolled back in his head for a second as the scent hit him.
He patted her back, every impulse in his body demanding he put his arms around her and give her comfort. She looked up at him with the most innocent, trusting eyes. He never expected to see that look from Ella again.
When they were kids, she’d looked up to him. They’d been best friends and eventually lovers. They’d practically grown up together. She’d trusted him as much as he’d trusted her. Or so he’d thought.
Having her so close again, depending on him like this, it sent a thrill down his spine. He had to prove to her that he could handle it. He had to prove to himself.
Her cheek looked so soft. He wanted to kiss her. Her shoulder was softly curved under his hand, and his dick grew hard just from touching her there.
“It’s going to be all right,” he said, in a choked voice.
She glanced over at him and down at his lap, looking away quickly. Damn. She saw. She stiffened a little but the trusting look didn’t leave her face.
“I’m so scared. We need to take care of the baby. I can’t stand the thought of him in danger.”
“I’m going to check on the boat. Do you need anything?”
“No. There’s some sausage on the stove if you want to eat.”
He stood and grabbed a link, shoving it in his mouth as he went to the front door. He looked back at her briefly before going out into the cold. She looked like an angel sitting there with Andrew. They were both so beautiful, his heart could barely stand it.
As he closed the door, the thought crossed his mind that they could all be a family now. If she could just give herself to him, they could have it all.
He growled at himself for even thinking about it. Now was not the time for such musing. He had to take care of them, even if she didn’t choose him. He couldn’t be distracted by wishful thinking.
Chapter Eight
Anxiety coursed through Ella’s veins and she couldn’t sit still. She paced the small cabin, peering out the foggy windows at Tate every few minutes. He’d shifted back and forth between human and bear for the last few hours working on the boat.
He’d felled several trees and had constructed a boat rise where he could work on the vessel. He’d used his bear and some trees to pull the boat up onto land. The ground was still covered in snow and he didn’t bother dressing when he went back to human form.
After he’d built a fire and begun to melt rubber in a metal bucket, he put his clothes back on. She bundled Andrew up in his snowsuit and walked outside to where Tate stood beside the fire. The sharp smell of tar stung her nose.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“There’s a hole in the hull. I going to repair it with what I’ve got on hand here. The tar will patch the hole enough to make it back to Juneau.”
“What did Brock say when you called him on the CB radio?”
“The radio is dead,” he said, picking the gray metal box from a rock. “I was going to bring it into the cabin to dry off. Might be able to fix it.”
The cold ran down her spine. They could be stranded here. Ella gritted her teeth and fear sank in her stomach. It was almost as bad as being on the run from the Glacier Wolf Pack. If they were stranded out here without supplies, it could get really bad really fast. It was a summer cabin. Not a place to overwinter.
“I’m going back in,” she said, her breath blowing out in front of her.
She turned back to the cabin and trudged through the snow. Tate was right behind her. He held the door for her as they approached. She went through and put the baby in his car seat. Ella felt frantic, but Tate looked at her with his searching, green eyes.
“Are you all right?” he asked her, setting the radio on the table.
“No. Not really,” she snapped.
“What?” he said, putting his hands up in a defensive posture.
“Nothing,” she said, turning away.
“Ella, I’m doing everything I can here. I’m sorry this isn’t turning out how you’d expected. No one asked you to disappear for a year and a half and return with a baby and a crazed pack of wolves at your heels.”
She gasped and her mouth dropped at the insult. She wanted to yell at him, but she couldn’t. He was right. The only one she had to blame was herself. All her sorrow and fear overwhelmed her all at once. She sat down on the bed and began to cry.
Tate stopped short, choking on his words. He walked across the room and sat beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders.
“Please, don’t cry. I’m not going to be able to handle it if you cry,” he pleaded.
“Why do you care if I cry? I’m a horrible person. I was horrible to you. I can’t even believe you are helping me right now.”
“Ella…” He brushed her hair back from her cheek and over her ear. The feeling of his hand on her skin awakened all kinds of sensations she though were long dead. She’d been on her own for so long. She’d shouldered the burden of her life on her own for so long.
She tilted her head down and nestled it against his chest, unable to help herself. The feeling of his hard pectoral under her wet cheek made her cry even harder. All this time, she’d longed for something like this, even though she’d tried to suppress her need. Tate wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her tight.
Tears dripped down her face and soaked into his shirt. “Hey,” he said, cupping her chin in his palm. He lifted her face to look at him. She was so ragged and lost. She sniffed. Tate looked into her eyes, his face placid but questioning.
She didn’t know who leaned in first, but all at once, their lips were crushed against each other. Desire surged in her chest and her sex dampened between her legs. She moaned, leaning in closer.
Tate growled, holding her tight. His hands roved over her body, desire burning through her skin with each caress. He squeezed her breast, and she moaned deeply. Ella was so swept up in the moment, all she wanted was to feel him closer.
She reached for his pants, her hand grazing over his substantial hardness. It pulsed against her and her breath caught. Tate pulled back with a roar, holding the hand away from him.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Yes?” she said, breathlessly. She didn’t want to think. She just wanted to feel something other than pressure and fear. The pleasure of Tate’s touch and kiss was just what she needed.
“That’s not enough, Ella.” He stood, growling angrily.
“Why not?”
“My bear. I can’t control him. He won’t let you go if we make love. I’m afraid of what I’ll do to you. I might claim you. Turn you.”
“Claim me?”
“You know what that means. You would be mine. Bound to me. You would become a bear and we would be linked for the rest of our lives.”
“When you put it that way…” she said, fixing her clothing. “I don’t know if I want to be a bear, let alone linked to anyone for the rest of my life.”
“I know. Okay? Believe me. I know.” He backed away, his face tortured.
“Tate. I wanted to kiss you. I’ve always loved you. You know that.”
“Loved me? Please, don’t start talking about how you’ve always loved me. If you loved me, you never would have left with my child inside you.”
He hurried to the door.
“I’m sorry,” she called, just as he closed the door behind him. A tear slid down her face. She didn’t want to hurt him or confuse him. She hated that his bear was torturing him because of her. She wanted to make love to him, she just couldn’t commit to being claimed. She was glad he’d stopped.
It wasn’t like he had to. Tate was six-foot-two and Ella was five-foot-five with her boots on. He could ravish her without breaking a sweat. He could force his bear inside her in more ways than one and assure that they would be linked body and mind for the rest of their lives.
Chapter Nine
He couldn’t stand it. He had to get off this island. There was no way he could stay here with her. Believing he could deal with it had been a mistake. His bear would not stop forcing images of claiming her into his mind.
His dick was permanently hard. He was with a scared woman and a small child stranded in the cold. It was not the time or place for his libido to be going off the rails.
In the last year, Tate had gone out a few times at his brother Keaton’s insistence. Once, he even took a girl home with him in a drunken haze. It had been meaningless, and he’d regretted it as soon as it was over.
He’d taken all his desire and need and shoved it deep down inside. He’d made his heart hard and cold against the memory of the girl he’d loved so much. He’d forced his bear down, too. Now she was back and he still couldn’t have her. His body and mind were a mess of conflicting emotions. His bear wouldn’t stop scratching and growling. It was worse than the sound of the baby’s crying.
He picked up a brush and dipped it into the hot tar. He ran the tar over the patched hole until it was sealed. Once the tar dried, he could put the boat back in the water and get them back to the mainland. Soon, his brother and cousin would have the evidence against the Glacier Wolf Pack they needed and he would be free of Ella.
At that moment, Tate didn’t know what was more threatening- a blood thirsty gang of criminal wolves, or his own inner bear. He was beginning to think he’d rather take his chances with the wolves.
He stood in the snow and watched the tar dry. It would need at least a day before it would be sealed. The snow wasn’t helping either. Tate puffed out a heavy breath into the frigid air and crossed his arms. He couldn’t just stand around all day. The anxiety was killing him.
Tate rubbed his forehead and glanced back to the cabin. His own little boy was inside that log house. The smoke from the chimneys wafted into the low gray sky. It was also warm in there. He growled and stomped through the thick snow back to the cabin.
Pulling the door open, the smell of frying meat hit him along with the warmth from the fire. He stomped off his boots and stepped inside. Andrew was playing on a blanket on the floor, safely hemmed in from the fireplace. The baby crawled several paces and rolled on his belly with a squeaky toy.
Ella turned to him, her soft hourglass body silhouetted by the glow of the fireplace. There was fish in a pan on the stove and a pot of baked beans. Tate went to the stove and put food on his plate before sitting at the table.
Ella sat across from him, looking him in the eye with a slight smile on her round face. Tate drew back. What? She’d made it clear how she felt about things. He was done. He had to go.
“What?” he finally said, dropping his fork in his plate. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Just say it.”
She sighed and looked away and then turned back to him with that same smirk. “About earlier.”
Tate threw his head back and growled, making an exaggerated expression of irritation. He glared at her and gritted his teeth. She frowned, looking put off. He deflated. He didn’t want to upset her. Did he? Damn it. He hit his fist on the table.
“Tate, don’t get so angry.”
“I’m not angry. You haven’t seen me angry.”
“I don’t want to see it either.”
He gave her a blank look and peered into her eyes.
“Why are you so pissy?” she asked, leaning back and folding her arms.
“Don’t you think I want you, too?”
“I know you do. I just don’t understand why it has to be so complicated.”
“It’s not that complicated. You’re the one overcomplicating things, Ella.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be a bear,” she said.
“You don’t have to be. If you stay. My bear is in a frenzy because you left and came back with a baby. He doesn’t want to lose you again.”
“Then we should stay away from each other,” she concluded.
“Those were my thoughts exactly.”
They sat silently for several long moments watching Andrew play on the blanket in his warm little jumpsuit. Ella drummed her feet on the floor and then gave him her smirk.
“The kissing was nice, though,” she said.
“Do you know why it’s nice, Ella?”
“Because we’re attracted to each other and we kiss well?”
“Of course.”
“I just can’t stand the idea of everything being predestined. And that’s why you love me. That’s why you were my friend all that time. It wasn’t just because you, Tate, liked me. It was your bear that wanted us to be friends. It’s the bear that wants us to be together now.”
“How can you doubt our friendship? We’ve known each other for years, Ella. We’ve shared all our secrets. We know each other inside out. In all the time we spent together, can you ever point out a time when it seemed like I was compelled to be with you?”
“I don’t know. What I know is that there was one important secret you never told me. How could you not share that I was your fated mate?”
“I couldn’t. You were so young.”
“We were both young. Not just me.”
“You’re a human. Your parents were strict. I was being careful.”
“Careful of who, me or my parents?”
“Both.”
“You didn’t trust me.”
“I didn’t trust you?”
“No.” Andrew began to cry, and Ella stooped to pick him up. “You treated me like a fragile child. The fact that I’m your fated mate is what drew you to me in the first place. It’s the only reason a fourteen-year-old girl and a seventeen-year-old boy became friends at all.”
“We both played baseball.”
“Oh please. I was JV girls and you were varsity boys. We didn’t even ride the same bus to games.”
She had a point about the secret he’d kept from her. He didn’t go out of his way to make friends with freshmen girls when he was a senior. He wouldn’t even date a girl that young. His friendship with her had been motivated by the fact that he’d known she was his mate from the moment he’d laid eyes on her curvy, petite form.
“You’re right,” he said. “I shouldn’t have kept it from you. It was disloyal.” He hung his head, finally saying the words he’d held inside for so long.
Her face brightened and she sat down with the baby across from him at the table.
“I’m surprised you finally admit that,” she said. “It helps.”
“Helps?”
“It just makes me feel better to hear you admit that.”
He looked over at her and his son. He’d barely held him since he’d found out he existed. His heart hurt.
“Can I hold him?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She stood and handed him the baby. His tiny form and light weight wriggled in his arms. He’d held baby animals and baby relatives, but this was his own baby. His own flesh and blood. His son. Andrew had his green eyes, and Tate’s heart melted.
He held the child close and rocked him in his arms. The top of his head smelled like milk and powde
r. A soothing warmth flowed over his skin and his bear calmed within. He made a happy face at the baby and Andrew giggled and drooled, showing tiny new teeth.
“He’s so freaking cute, I don’t know what to do,” he joked.
“I know, right?” Ella laughed. “He looks so much like you. I can’t believe it.”
“He does kinda, doesn’t he?”
“Of course.”
“He looks a lot like you, too,” Tate said. Ella smiled at him. His affection for her poked through the fog of his anger and frustration. He did want them to be together, a family. The way it should be. He couldn’t help that he was a bear shifter and not a human. He couldn’t help that his kind knew who they belonged with from the day they were born.
He wished he could make everything right. Go back to when they were kids and trust her with the truth. She could have handled it. He knew that now. He understood that keeping it from her was a betrayal. He understood why she’d left him.
And he was beginning to understand why she had kept the baby a secret, too. She couldn’t face him. Right now, he could barely face himself. He was so conflicted. He had no idea what to do or how to proceed.
Was he a bear or was he a man? Who was in control? What voice should he listen to at the end of the day? How could he balance his animal and human nature to give his woman exactly what she needed? He could never answer all those questions on his own. He needed help. Even from his jerk-off brother Keaton or his clan leader brother Brock. Even his mom and dad could help him.
They were all back on the mainland while he and Ella were stranded out on the island in the middle of a snow storm. He’d have to figure it out on his own or it was going to be another long, cold night. He thought of sleeping in the cave again and shivered.
It wasn’t as if he couldn’t sleep in the cave in the cold. Regular bears did it. Tate was a shifter. That meant he was a human and had human taste. He preferred to stay warm. If he wanted to be warm tonight, he’d have to wrangle his bear into control enough to be around Ella. Holding the baby was definitely helping.
“I don’t want to sleep in the cave again tonight. My back still hurts.”