“Not in a bar,” I swore I heard him mumble.
“What?” My voice was raspy and breathless.
“Nothing. It’s just that I really need to take you home now.”
My drunken Lane-fog was painfully blown away when I heard the blonde’s voice directly behind me. “Are you serious?”
“Gemma, why are you still here? Have I shown you any interest?” he questioned through clenched teeth.
I ran my hand up his thighs in a comforting gesture. Damn her for ruining our perfect moment. I didn’t care if we were in a bar. We could have been in a barn, for all I cared. I wanted to know what was on his mind just then when he’d looked at me as if he wanted to burn the image of my face into his memory.
“When are we talking about exactly?” Gemma asked. “Are we talking about the time you were buried so deep—”
“Stop!” he yelled.
I’m not sure why he bothered at that point, because it was pretty clear where she had been going with that. And while the idea of girls lusting over my man was a turn-on, actually hearing the play-by-play of what they obviously once shared seemed to have the opposite effect on my libido.
I turned, and even though I had no intention of leaving, Lane moved quickly to wrap his arms securely around my shoulders. He was still seated on his stool, but he had scooted further to the edge.
“Don’t.” The words brushed past my ear in a soft growl.
“I didn’t plan on it.”
“We had one night, Gemma. If you haven’t noticed, I decided not to come back for more. Hell, I gave you a fake name!”
Gemma looked down at me from her four-inch heels. I took in her wild, blonde hair that should have looked like a rumpled mess but seemed to work perfectly, and her tight perky body that had clearly never birthed children. She seemed exactly like the type of girl Lane should be with. But he’d obviously had her and he didn't stick around for more. She sized me up slowly, from my flat shoes to my large breasts, before stopping at my face.
“You’d rather leave with her? You’d rather sleep with her instead of me?” The ugliness in her voice bled through her entire demeanor, and the beautiful blonde standing in front of us didn’t appear so alluring to me anymore. Maybe Lane had seen that side of her as well. “I know you, Lane.”
“The hell you do,” he interrupted.
She smiled through her bright red lips. “I do. You like pretty faces. Trust me, you’d be distracted all night by that god-awful scar.”
Oh, hell no. There went any remaining warm and fuzzy buzz I had hoped to keep. Damn her again. I didn’t even get a chance to react because the instant the word ‘scar’ left her blood red lips, it seemed as if the bar erupted.
I was suddenly moved to the side with a gentle but demanding force. Lane’s large figure stood so fast he was practically a large blur blowing past me. He came to a stop directly in front of Gemma and leered down at her.
“What the hell did you just say?” he growled through his teeth. His fists clenched tightly to his sides until they were a pale white color. I put my hand on his back, but it only caused a tremor to rock through his tense muscles. “Don’t you ever talk about her like that. I love that scar.”
Gemma stood with her mouth agape. “I… I… I…” she stuttered, clearly shocked at his forceful reaction.
Jace moved in quickly and placed his hand on Lane’s chest. I could tell he was subtly trying to move him back, but Lane wasn’t having that. Audrey dipped under Jace’s arm and squeezed in between the two big guys.
“Why am I having to ask you to leave… again?” Audrey tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear the anger that she was trying to withhold.
Gemma glanced once again at Lane’s face and wisely decided to step away, although I really doubted she felt any remorse for her words. It was that thought that brought the catty side out in me. I couldn’t help it—I swore I wasn’t usually like that.
“Hate to break it you, but he’s been sleeping with me every night for a month. So while you get off in your bed alone over one measly night you had with him, I get the real thing, night after night,” I announced. She sneered at me and continued to move away. “And let me tell you, he’s never distracted.”
After I watched her move through the crowded bar and then out the double doors, I finally let myself turn and face Lane. Jace pounded his back and moved away, while Audrey looked at him with worried eyes. When Jace tugged her along with him, she shot me a nervous look in her retreat. I smiled at her, hoping to reassure her that I could handle this. After all, he was mine to handle.
Lane’s hands were still balled up tightly and his eyes were squeezed into thin little slits. A crinkle marred the corners of his beautiful eyes and his plump lips were pursed tightly. I reached up and gently ran my fingers over the signs of stress streaking across his face. I didn't say a word—I wanted him to speak first. I continued to run my hands across his jaw, over his cheeks, and into his hair. Over and over. Finally, I felt the tension begin to subside.
His first words surprised me. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” I grabbed a hold of his shirt and jerked to show my bewilderment.
“I shouldn't have been with girls like her. Why the fuck was I wasting my time with bitches like that?” He seemed to be talking to himself, but I decided to answer anyway.
“So you could save the real stuff for me?” I laughed. It was meant to be a joke to break the heavy tension, something to bring him out of his mood.
He finally looked down at me and grabbed a hold of my face. The brown of his eyes glowed into an outer green ring so bright that it was almost hypnotizing.
When I felt his fingers brush lightly across my scar, I closed my eyes. Why did everything have to go back to that horrid thing? “She tried to make this ugly.” His voice caught, and I could hear the real pain in his words.
“Well, it kind of is.”
“Stop.”
“I just want to forget that thing is even there.”
“I don’t.” He kissed three times down the length of it. “This scar is everything. It’s everything to me. It brought my daughter back to me. It brought Braden into my life. It brought you. It encompasses everything I love about you. Your strength, your determination, your stubbornness. Please, don’t let one of my mistakes make you feel any less, because I just wouldn’t be able to stand it. And if, after all that you still feel less than beautiful, well then… I’ll just have to keep finding ways to convince you otherwise.”
It was coming—I could feel it in my bones. The moment that would forever change us. The one that would eternally alter the way I looked at the world around me. If God forbid we ever parted ways, I would forever chase this moment. I wanted to brand everything about it deep into my skin. The clinking glasses. The hoots of excitement over a game of pool. Our friends laughing and smiling. But most of all, the look in Lane’s eyes when he finally realized that his daughter wasn't the only girl that owned his heart.
My hands slid under his arms and around to his strong backside, so he could hold me even closer. “Everything you love about me?”
“Is that the only part you heard?” He smiled.
I shook off his words. “I heard it all. But…”
His head dipped down and he rested his face next to mine. I felt his warm breaths near my ear and before he spoke, an exciting electric energy blasted through me. “Not in a bar,” he murmured.
“In a bar,” I argued. “Don’t break the moment.”
We stayed huddled together, not wanting to move even an inch away from one another. “It’s not supposed to happen in a place like this. It should be somewhere romantic. Like our bed, so I can slide in you while I whisper softly in your ear.”
“That sounds… amazing.” I wished my words weren’t so breathy. To distract him from his hesitation and myself from my lusty desires, I grabbed the back of his head and forced our lips to meet in a hungry duel. He growled past my lips and pulled me onto his lap up on
the barstool. I immediately felt his desire for me under my thighs.
“Really?” I glanced down at his lap.
“As long as you’re in the same room, that’s just how it’s gonna be.”
I continued seizing his mouth with my own again. His plump lips surrounded mine, and I never wanted to be kissed any other way ever again.
He pulled back and panted as he tried to catch his breath. “Damn you, woman. You never let me set the pace and do things when I want to. You attack everything, right in the moment.”
Once again, these didn't sound like bad things to me so I smirked up at him. “You love that about me.”
“Fine!” he huffed. He tried to appear annoyed, but I could see the smile in his eyes that he loved this. “I love you. I can’t believe you’re making me tell you this for the first time in a damn bar, but I love you!”
“God, you’re even hotter when you’re flustered.” I smiled from ear to ear as my heart floated high above us.
“Raegan…” he growled.
“I love you… so much,” I whispered. “I know you didn’t expect to get me when you came for Kate, but you did. You are the reason I have been able to adjust back to real life so easily. During what should have been the most confusing time in my life, I found I could trust in you and I’ll love you forever for giving that to me. Thank you for being a marvelous dad to Kate and loving her the way you do. And thank you for taking exceptional care of Braden.”
“I love Braden, too.”
“You don’t have to say that,” I whispered. I knew that a relationship between a man and another man’s child would take time.
“I’m not just saying that. I love that little guy. The second he stood up to me at the police station to protect Kate, I loved him. ”
My eyes welled with tears because I’d never imagined I would find someone who could even come close to loving Braden as much as I did. I had always wanted a strong male figure in his life, but after he was born I had just accepted that I would have to play both roles for him. Lane smiled at me and swiped his thumb under my eyes.
“I love you,” he said with an overabundance of emotion in his voice that would forever be seared into my bones.
“I love you.” I kissed his nose. “I love you.” I moved closer to his chest and kissed his cheeks. “I love you.” I wiggled seductively on him. “God, I need to have sex with you… now.”
“Uh, earth to the love birds, sex in public is unfortunately still illegal!” Cole’s words forced themselves in between our lips, and we finally realized that we were still sitting in a bar… with our friends… and about fifty other strangers.
“It’s true guys!” Em called out, laughing. “Trust me, I’ve tried!”
“This is why you don't start that shit in a bar,” he growled in my ear. Lane stood and pulled my hand, so I was forced to keep up with him. “We’re out.” As we passed everyone, he leaned over and kissed Audrey on the cheek. “We’ll see you in the morning, doll, when we pick up the kids.”
A round of groans passed from my new group of friends, and I smiled that they were actually disappointed we were retiring. I waved to the girls. “Don’t leave!” a few called out.
“My girl needs sex. I deliver,” Lane said unabashedly. He looked at the guys, quirking his eyebrow in question. “What would you do?”
All three of them, Jax, Jace, and Cole, proceeded to point toward the exit. I laughed the entire drive home. But with a house free of children for the first time, there was a lot more than laughing going on the rest of the night.
- EIGHTEEN -
RAEGAN -
I realized Lane’s mood was deteriorating as the week moved on. He hovered over me every chance he got and grew more edgy by the day. I didn't understand what was going on at first. I wasn't going to complain that he was following me around or that he would trap me up against a wall any chance we were out of the kids’ eyesight, but I began to recognize that he was feeling insecure.
When out of the blue Lane decided to take Friday off, I didn't think he had done it so he could go shopping for school clothes with us. My mind had been so caught up in getting Kate and Braden ready to start school, I had forgotten that Adam, Braden’s father, was still picking me up tonight.
So when Friday morning rolled around and Lane stuck to me like glue, I finally registered his feelings of unease. He didn't want me to go tonight, plain and simple. What he probably didn’t fully comprehend was that I didn't want to go either. But I also didn't want Braden’s father causing any trouble so I was willing to sit down and talk to him like an adult about my son. I didn’t know why now, after all this time, he wanted to be in Braden’s life, but I would at least hear him out.
I moved down the hallway looking for my handsome man and finally found him in the spare room, which was kind of Lane’s catch-all room. He had gym equipment that he used when he couldn't sneak off to his boxing gym. On the opposite side, he had a large desk that he sat at and finished up any work he didn't get done at the office. He was staring at a stack of papers, and there were creases in the corners of his eyes.
I stood in the doorway taking him in until he looked up at me. “Hate to break it to you, but one day we’ll have to convince them they need to have separate bedrooms.” I gestured around the room. “And then we’re going to have to figure out a new place for this stuff.”
He smiled because he loved when I spoke about the future, especially when I mentioned the four of us together. I made my way around the desk and sat in his lap, snaking my hands around his neck.
“I think we should buy a house, actually.”
My mouth widened in shock, because that’s not something I had been expecting. He chuckled and continued, “You want to paint walls and all that girly shit, right?” I nodded but stayed quiet. “It’ll be good for us in the long run to own real estate.”
“You would do that?” I asked quietly.
“We would do that.”
“But… I don't have anything to contribute. I’m broke, if you haven't noticed.”
“Trust me, you contribute way more than I do. Just because I take care of things financially doesn't mean I don't need you just as much. You’ve made my house our home. I’ve never been so happy to come home every day. You keep this place running smoothly. I could barely handle myself, let alone Kate and Braden. I don't know what I would do without you.”
“Oh, so that’s why you keep me around. You need me to do the laundry,” I laughed. He tickled my sides until I screamed for him to stop, because I was about two seconds away from peeing my pants.
“Are you happy staying at home? Taking care of the house?” I nodded my head, because it gave me pleasure to take care of my family and actually cook them real meals every day. “You could always get a job if you really wanted to. I’ll only say this once and the rest is up to you. I love you at home. I love how you take care of us. I love that I can call you up any time of day and you’re available to meet me. I love that our kids can come right after school to our home and not go to some strange daycare. But that’s my opinion, and I’ll support whatever you decide.”
The fact that he said ‘our kids’ was not lost me. I think I felt my heart grow a few sizes in that moment alone.
“I just don’t want to ever burden you.”
He kissed my temple and smiled. “You could never be a burden. And I don’t want you to worry about money. I can afford to take care of all of us and still take a family vacation each year.”
I gasped playfully. “I have no idea what a vacation even is!”
“Well then, when the kids are on Fall Break this year, I’ll show you.”
I lay against his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was leave his arms and go see my douchebag of an ex-boyfriend, Adam.
“I don’t want you to be worried about tonight.” I tried to sound as strong as I could, because I knew how he had been feeling.
“I want you to take my cellpho
ne. I don't know why I haven’t gotten you one yet. I’m taking Braden and Kate to Jace’s tonight. Call me anytime. Seriously, if he even looks at you wrong, call me.”
“Why are you going to Jace’s?” I asked suspiciously. I had visions of him and Jace secretly following us.
“He’s my friend.”
“We’ll see them tomorrow, though.”
“Call me for any reason.” He wasn’t going to answer me. “Even if you want to just tell me what you ordered for dinner. Do not, for any reason, go anywhere alone with him. I’m serious about this, Rae. You agreed to dinner, nothing else.”
“We’re going to the restaurant and back.” I decided to pacify him. It was obvious that he was feeling out of control, but he had never—not even once—asked me not to go. “I love you, you know that, right? Like over the moon, love you.”
“Make sure you tell him that, okay?” he said with a smirk. “You know I thought when I truly fell in love that my mind would only think about that girl and there wouldn’t be anything else. But that’s not how it works at all. Everything around you becomes important because all of those things could potentially take you from me.”
“No one can take me from you,” I whispered. I slipped down to the floor and found a spot in between his legs. He looked at me with wide eyes and I grinned. With my hand, I stroked him through his gym shorts. I hadn’t given him much of a heads up, but he was quickly catching on as I felt him stiffen under my palm.
“Rae…” he breathed out harshly. “The kids are in the next room.”
“They can’t see me past the desk.” I blew warm air through the thin fabric of his shorts, which worked him up even more.
“They could come around.”
“Well then, I better work fast.”
“No way, I painfully learned my lesson the last time Braden decided to come check on us.” He scooted out of the chair and I heard the lock of the door slip into place.