“Emerson, you’re amazing. I still can’t believe I found you. Promise you’ll stay.”
“I promise,” I breathed. “Promise you’ll stay patient with me.” I trailed kisses down his jaw.
“I promise,” he replied. “I need you in my life.”
“You have me.”
“I love you.” When I tensed up, he started slowing his movements to provide comfort for me.
I placed my forehead down onto his shoulder, silently telling him I felt the same way. I was afraid that if I said it out loud, I would be jinxing myself. I feel like I’ve been doing so well, and I’ve become an actual girlfriend. If I take this next step too soon, somehow I’ll end up failing him. I need to find a way to tell him though. I just need more time.
Shortly after, he started speeding up his movements. I’d never felt him this deep before and it was heavenly. I couldn’t help but to focus on his handsome face. The lights of the car were shining on us in the pond. The shadows contrasted against his high cheekbones perfectly. I couldn’t believe a guy this gorgeous could be so thoughtful and understanding. I began feeling that wonderful sensation of completion spiraling through me. When I called out his name, he followed behind me two seconds later.
When we finally walked back through the front door of his house, my teeth were chattering. We didn’t have a towel to dry off with so we had to put our clothes back on our wet bodies and my hair had drenched everything that my body hadn’t.
“Jaxon Riley! Tell me you didn’t take her into the pond?” Julie yelled at him right when we walked in. “Look at her, she’s freezing!”
“Don’t worry, Ma, I kept her warm,” he chuckled. I turned and smacked him in the stomach. “Umph!”
“Get up stairs, you two,” she laughed and smacked Jaxon on the back of the head on his way up.
“Geez, ladies, go easy on me!” he joked.
The next day we were at the airport saying sad good-byes to Julie. I felt at home here and I absolutely didn’t want to leave. Now I understand why both of them wanted to come home on every holiday break. When the guys went to check their luggage, Julie came over to hug me and I had tears in my eyes.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” She hugged me tightly.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I just like it here so much.”
“Please come back, I’ve never seen Jaxon so happy.”
“I really hope I don’t screw it up,” I whispered into her hair.
She pulled back but kept a grip on each of my arms. “Guess what, love, you will. So will he. It’s what you do with it once you’ve screwed up that matters.” She smiled at me.
“Thank you.” It was all I could say.
She grabbed my phone from my hand. “Here, have my number, and call me anytime you need to talk or vent. Jaxon told me your parents passed away. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need a mom’s ear. I won’t take his side, promise.” Then she gave me one more long hug that really had the tears streaming down my face. Besides Ellie, I’d never met someone so open and loving. I squeezed her back just as tightly.
“What the hell, Ma, I leave for two seconds and you have her crying?” His words were harsh, but his tone was playful. He reached over and pulled me into his body while kissing my temple. Jaxon and Jace each gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug, and then together, we walked through security to go back to the real world.
Chapter Fifteen
The Collapse
Our classes had all started back up. I had two classes with Jaxon, one class with Cole, and surprisingly, one class with Jace. We had an English class that both of us had been putting off. I was excited about that; I never got to hang out with Jace by myself, so this class had provided the perfect opportunity. We would often hang out afterward and study together. It was also nice to have someone save me a seat.
The school was getting hyped up over the upcoming championship game that the team had made it to. The campus was littered in spirit posters and everyone wore the school colors daily. Jaxon and Cole were practicing with the team twice a day now to prepare for the big game. They both came home exhausted and cranky every night. Quinn and I always tried to have food ready for them when they finished practice. It didn’t take us long to notice a connection between being hungry and extreme crankiness. I was excited for them, but I would also be glad when this game was over.
Honestly, I’ll be glad when this whole week is over. February 2 is tomorrow, the six-year anniversary of my parents’ death and my twenty-first birthday. The closer it had gotten to this date, the more I had become agitated with everything and with nothing at all. I’ve been trying to hide my restless behavior from everyone, but I don’t know how well I have been doing with that. I figured Jaxon and Cole were too busy with practice and by now, Quinn has learned not to bring up my birthday. A couple of years ago, I believe she honestly just forgot about it. I think that’s for the best.
The football players all decided to have a party tonight. They claimed they needed to blow off a bunch of steam, even on a Tuesday. Apparently, the coach has been exceedingly rough on them at practice. Since half of the players are in fraternities as well, the party ended up being on Frat row. I didn’t really want to go; it honestly sounded like a bad idea with my mood. On the other hand, maybe I could blow off some steam as well.
When we returned from winter break, Quinn complained to Jaxon and me that we were becoming an old married couple, not going to parties anymore. I freaked out when she said that, and ever since then, we’ve been going to most of them. It’s nice to go and have a good time with my boyfriend. Originally, I thought it would be stressful, with guys thinking they could touch me or with the way girls are still always hitting on Jaxon. We eventually found our groove though, and have been having a good time.
By the time Quinn and I had finished getting ready, I was completely on edge and fidgety. For some reason, I just couldn’t stop thinking about what tomorrow was. I heard the tail end of my cell phone ringing from in the kitchen, but I figured I had already missed it, so I’d check it when we started to head out.
“You’re acting so weird. Sit down and breathe, Emmy.” Quinn looked at me through the mirror while she reapplied her eyeliner.
“I’m not acting weird. I think I just really need to drink tonight,” I said while shaking out my hands.
“Uh-oh, what’s wrong? Did you and Jaxon have a fight?” She turned to face me.
“Quinn, he’s not around enough lately for us to fight. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a college student just wanting to go out to drink.” I shrugged my shoulders at her.
“Are you upset that he hasn’t been around? It’s almost over,” she responded quietly.
“No, it honestly doesn’t bother me. I’M OKAY, Quinn,” I said the last part deliberately slow so she would understand and at the very least, recognize that I wasn’t going to talk about it.
I really wasn’t okay, but the last thing I wanted to do was have a therapy session. Tequila doesn’t ask you to talk about your problems. Tequila and I have always gotten along. When I heard her sigh, I knew she wasn’t happy about my response, but I also knew I had at least gotten her off my back for a little while longer.
There was a short tap on the front door and then it opened and closed. It had to be one of the guys, although they usually didn’t even bother to knock. I heard boots shuffling on the carpet in the living room.
“Girls!” Jace called out down the hallway.
“In the closet,” I called back.
When Jace came into the room, he was dressed to go out in a short-sleeve, black, button-down shirt; his dark faded blue jeans fit him perfectly. His hair was styled in the Riley boy signature messy style and he was carrying his leather jacket, which meant he was probably riding the bike to the party tonight. I think he liked the option of being able to escape if he wanted to, instead of having to ride with us.
“Geez, Em, stop checking him out so noticeably.” Quinn elbowed me.
I watched as Jace’s cheeks turned red. Oops. “Sorry! It’s just so hard. I mean he’s my boyfriend’s identical twin. Obviously I like this brand.” I gestured with my hand up and down, indicating Jace.
Jace and Quinn both started laughing at me, “Anyways,” he started, with a shy smirk on his face, “I just left the field a little while ago and Coach was still running some of them. Apparently, a couple of guys got in trouble so they’re being punished. Jax and Cole included. When they stopped for a water break, they told me they could just meet us all at the party later. I’m sure half the team is already at the house.”
“Uh-oh, why’d they get in trouble?” Quinn asked nervously.
Jace shrugged his shoulders. “I think they just weren’t running plays correctly. Coach is anal like that.”
“Great, now they’ll be in delightful moods. It’s probably best we meet them there,” she responded.
I actually liked this plan better. I could get in a few shots before Jax even got there, without having to explain why I was taking them. Then hopefully, this crazy negative energy charging through my veins would chill out in time for me to act normal around my boyfriend. I hoped it worked, because I needed these memories out of my head. Last night, I had dreamt about the last time I had spent with both my mom and dad, before they got divorced. We had gone to this little amusement park a couple of hours away and I had fallen in love with the only rollercoaster there. I swear they rode that ride with me a million times that day. I just kept remembering how hard my dad was laughing when we rode through the upside-down loops. I needed to drown out that laugh. God, how do you stop missing someone? Especially someone you were so mad at?
“I’m going to ride the bike there, is that cool? Or do you ladies need me to drive you?” Jace asked while walking toward the door.
I was still stuck in my flashback so Quinn responded for us. “Go ahead, Jace, we’ll be right behind you.” When he closed the door behind him, she turned and stared at my face. “Are you sure you’re okay, your face is pale.”
“I’m fine, Quinn, stop mothering me. Let’s go.” I shouldn’t have said that, it was cruel. She had always been my support through everything, but just for today and tomorrow, I didn’t need anyone prying.
I grabbed my phone off the kitchen countertop and noticed I had actually missed two calls. One was from Jaxon, one was from a number I didn’t recognize, and they had both left voicemails. I entered in my voice mailbox code and listened to what they had to say.
The first one was from Jax: “Hey babe, we fucked up at practice today, Coach is keeping us late. I’ll meet you there tonight. Love you.” It was still strange to me how he would just throw in that last little line now. His voice had sounded stressed; looks like he was joining the crowd that would be blowing off some steam tonight.
The second message was from a voice I didn’t know: “Yes, I’m calling for a Emerson Moore. This is William Gordon calling from the Law Offices of Gordon, Simon & Bates. I have an urgent matter pertaining sensitive material set up by Robert and Michelle Moore. If you could call me back at your earliest convenience, I would appreciate it.”
Thank God, Quinn was in the bathroom and had left me alone in here. I’m positive if my face was pale before, it was downright colorless now. My stomach had hit the floor when I heard my parents’ names. No one had said either of their names to me in years. What could this lawyer possibly have to tell me? It’s not like my parents were out there stirring up new situations. They were dead. Mr. Gordon would have to wait until tomorrow. Tonight I was getting wasted.
There were two things wrong with this party already. The first being that there wasn’t any tequila, only beer. I could get drunk off beer, but it was taking me longer to get there. The second problem was Devon Ryan was here, the only other guy I’ve come close to dating. I never expected to see him again after he transferred to some school up north after freshman year. If I were smart, I would have just left after discovering the first problem.
When I arrived, I went straight for the kitchen to find the hidden liquor. To my disappointment, all the bottles were empty. When I slammed the last cabinet above the fridge in frustration, I felt hands reach up around my waist and help me off the countertop. The mysterious hands set me down and I turned around to face Devon.
“Devon?” I gasped when I saw his golden brown eyes and blond hair. He still looked as handsome as ever. He had a long lean body like a swimmer, which I had appreciated freshman year. Now that I’ve had Jaxon’s body though, nothing could compare.
“Hey, little lady. How’s life treating you?” He smirked at me, assuming I was checking him out. I wasn’t though; I was just surprised to see him.
“Well, I plan on spending today and tomorrow drunk, but then everything will go back to being great after that.” I popped open a beer.
“Uh, okay. What’s today and tomorrow?” Shit, why had I just said that out loud, especially to him?
We needed a subject change. “Don’t you have a cousin down here?”
He laughed at my avoidance, “Yes, that’s why I’m here. Well that, and for the championship game. You guys got lucky with that Jaxon Riley guy; he’s killing it out here.”
“Yeah, my boyfriend’s pretty great.” I finished the beer and went for another.
“Is that what you’re calling those poor suckers these days?” He laughed.
“Nope, I’m a one-man kind of woman these days, Devon.”
“Holy shit, this guy must walk on water to get Em Moore to settle down.” He pinched me in the side and I laughed.
An hour and a half later, I had finally reached wasted status and I was on the dance floor trying to sweat out this frantic energy I still had inside of me. I was hoping I could drink it away, but I swear someone in this room had the same exact laugh as my dad, or maybe I was just hearing things. Devon was dancing next to me in the middle of the dance floor. I wouldn’t say we were dancing together, just dancing in the same vicinity. I didn’t feel like dancing with anyone, just needed this feeling to go away.
I stepped away from the dancing to get another drink out of the kitchen when I was scooped up into strong familiar arms. He started raining kisses across my eyelids, nose, and then finally my mouth. I smiled into his kiss and enjoyed the clean scent of Jaxon.
“I missed you, Beautiful. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get here.” He smiled down at me, although he still had some tension in the corners of his eyes.
“S’okay.” Damn, I was smashed and I knew I was slurring.
“Are you drunk?” he asked, shocked. I couldn’t tell if he was upset about that or not, so I just shrugged my shoulders.
All of a sudden, Quinn came barreling through and grabbed me by the arms to take me in the kitchen. Jaxon followed behind, along with Cole.
“Emmy, tell me I didn’t see you out there dancing with Devon Ryan?” she screeched at me.
“Okay, first of all, I wasssn’t dancin’ with anybody.” I hope they couldn’t tell how bad I was slurring. My head didn’t feel drunk, but my actions showed that I was. “But ya, thas him.” I placed my forearms down on the countertop to steady myself. This room was spinning faster than I cared for.
“Shit, Em, you’re hammered,” Cole said laughing at me.
“Who the hell is Devon Ryan?” Jaxon stepped in to ask Quinn.
“No one,” I said.
“The only guy besides you that came close to being her boyfriend,” she decided to input.
“Shut the hell up, Quinn, I never had a boyfriend before Jax.”
He continued giving Quinn a questioning look, deeming me too drunk to be accountable, so she continued, “He was the reason she created the three-limit rule.”
I groaned at how they were talking about me like I wasn’t even here. They were also starting to sober me up with this conversation. I really couldn’t deal with them right now. I hadn’t done anything wrong here. I stood up to leave the kitchen in search of another way to get these memories out of my head
when Rachel and a couple of girls came into the kitchen smiling right at Jaxon.
She came over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder with a perfected pouty look. “Are you really dating her exclusively now?” She said ‘her’ like she was disgusted with the idea. I figured she was up to something because by now, I had no doubt she knew damn well that we were dating.
He removed her hand and stepped back. “Sure am, sorry Rach.” I’m not sure whether I should be glad he used a nickname for her or not. It seemed too personal, but then again, he never called me by my nickname and we were about as personal as I knew how to get with someone.
Her pouty routine was grossing me out, when she continued, “Aw boo, and does that mean I don’t get any more rides on the motorcycle? It’s so hot the way I could hold tightly onto your waist as we took those twists and turns.”
And… I was sober. Thanks a lot, bitch. I was trying to find my words as I stared at the two of them. Rachel stood there smiling at me, knowing exactly what she had just said.
Quinn stepped in before Jaxon could comment, “You’ve been on the motorcycle with Jaxon? Are you sure it wasn’t Jace?” she gasped.
She turned her saccharine smile toward Quinn. “Oh, I know who I had between my thighs; it was definitely this hunky guy right here.” She patted his chest, while I heard him groan and I almost ripped her arm out of its socket, but I was completely frozen.
When had this happened? If she was just now bringing this up, was it while we had been dating? Even if we hadn’t been dating yet, I’ve been asking to go on that motorcycle since the first day of school and he always told me ‘no’. Why would he take her?
“You remember, silly, it was that night after the game.” She turned toward Jaxon. “When we were all at that party. Actually, it was at Quinn and Em’s apartment. You came up to me to ask me to leave with you. We had so much fun.” She smiled brightly, while pretending to stare off at a fond memory.