Page 10
Im drunk, horny and am with the most beautiful woman in the world, who is still sore from when I fucked her right into incoherency, life should be good.
And thanks to the booze burning in my veins, for now it is.
I try to behave myself at first, but Bella is rubbing her ass against me whenever she can, which is more often than Im used to, and Ive never been one to pass up such an invitation. Her laughter turns husky when I run my hands up and down her thighs, then pull her firmly against me with her back flush with my chest. Her skin is hot under my palms when I let them roam up and under her top.
The atmosphere in the room must be affecting her just like it is me as she doesnt even tense up, but instead throws her head back against my shoulder so that her hot breath is blowing over my neck. I normally keep any public displays of affection to a healthy minimum, but tonight I just cant. She is so soft and warm, and Im feeling as if I would die if I couldnt hold her right now.
Bella rasps out the most delicious moan when my palms skim up her stomach and my cock grows painfully hard.
“I need you,” I whisper into her ear and her answering moan goes right to my dick. “I want you. Right now. So fucking much. ” She moans again, and when I turn my head I see that her eyes are closed, a blissed out look on her face. I know how much she loves it when I talk dirty to her, and as Im still not drunk enough to take her right here on the dance floor, I express my desire to do so through hushed words and wet kisses all over her bare shoulder.
“Do you have any idea how horny you make me?”
Her chuckle, nearly innocent but not quite, makes things even worse. Then her hand is on my knee, running up my thigh until it is between our bodies, and she discreetly rubs my crotch.
“Hmm, a little?”
I snarl playfully and scrape my teeth over the sensitive spot on her neck until she starts to shiver.
“Just a little? I think I have to elaborate on that then. You make my cock so fucking hard its almost painful to keep myself in check, but you know how much I get off on that. And I cant fuck you right here because that would be too easy. But I could play with your delicious tits in the meantime, would you like that?”
To heighten the impact of my words I move my hands away from her bare skin and place them on her waist over the thin fabric, inching higher slowly.
Bellas resulting panting breath is as needy as if I were actually screwing her, and I wonder if I can make her come from talking and tame touching alone. But she doesnt really answer me, so I bite into her neck, using just enough pressure to make her feel my teeth but not seriously hurt her. She groans, but its a wanton sound, and not for the first time I marvel what Ive done to deserve a girl like her.
“I guess thats a clear yes. Just thinking of how sensitive your nipples are right now makes me want to jizz my pants. How delicious your moans will be when I kiss them. Lick them. Suck on them. Bite them. ” Because Im a mean fucker I brush the backs of my hands over her tits in a deliberately idle gesture, feeling her nipples harden under the thin barrier of the top. I know shes not wearing a bra, and the temptation to grab her tits and roll her nipples between my fingers is overwhelming. So is her response to my words, a guttural moan that is so primal that I decide on the spot that I just cant wait until were home, or even out of the club to make true of my words.
I switch my grip to her hips and start to move us both through the crowd of dancers towards one of the darker, more reclusive corners of the club, all the while rubbing myself along her body as much as I can. Bella is melting in my arms, playing along, and five minutes and two songs later we finally reach the edge of the dance floor. I really dont trust what is staining these walls so I push her up against the railing of a staircase leading to the upper floor, and drink in the expression on her face. Her lips are parted slightly, her eyes wide from alcohol and lust alike, and the light sheen of sweat thats covering her body is begging to be licked off.
Her arms reach up to my head and a moment later my body is crushed against hers, my tongue deep in her mouth while my fingers dig into her ass. She tastes of Bella and tequila, and the desire to do some body shots off her tits is occupies my mind for a moment. I restrain myself from enacting that this very minute by kissing a wet line down from her lips over her chin and throat, staying there for a moment to lick along her clavicle before I move lower.
Right now I dont care who sees us, and Im trusting that Bella thinks along the same lines as I do, or has the common sense to stop me before I can do something that goes against her grain. She certainly doesnt protest when I grab her tits and push them together, then bury my face between them, kissing and licking the sumptuous flesh. A little fumbling and I get my fingers into her top from the sides so I can tease her nipples. Her chest is heaving and a string of profanity leaves her lips that makes me want to tear off her clothes and fuck her right here and now.
One of her hands is in my hair, the other on my shoulder, her nails digging into my skin almost painfully, but shes clearly enjoying what Im doing to her. Her moaning gets almost obscenely loud when I finally free one of her nipples and greedily suck it into my mouth. Shes so responsive tonight, and Im determined to use that to my advantage. Pretty much the only thing I can still think of is how good it will feel when I thrust into her warm, wet cunt, and lost in that all consuming desire I reach down to undo the button of her pants.
Only that I never actually get her fly open because her fingers wrap around my wrists and effectively stop me in mid motion. I whine and try to shake her off, but shes clearly doing the stopping I was hoping she would do earlier, only that now its most unwelcome.
“Edward, stop! You need to
we need to
Alice and Jazz will be looking
for us!”
Her words hit me like a freight train, and I need a few seconds to drag my mind out of the gutter and her panties. When I look into her face I see that shes flushed and worked up, but her eyes are pleading with me, and shes clearly not asking for my cock.
A wave of rejection follows the initial confusion, and even though the very small part of me that is in fact still able to do some thinking is telling me that shes not rejecting me, it hurts. So. Fucking. Much.
Rationality quickly follows my horniness into the abyss, and I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose in order to restrain myself. I dont know what exactly I want to do, but the need to lash out is slowly becoming overwhelming, and if not for the booze slowing my thoughts and reactions, I might have said a few choice words I should never utter to the woman I love.
Im just getting a grip on myself when Bella goes on, and frustration is leaking into the maelstrom of emotions inside of me as I helplessly watch her rearrange her outfit.
“We really cant do this, and you know it! Weve been gone far too long already, and you know how much Alice resents being left behind. And it didnt look like she could push Jazz into dancing with her when you dragged me off oh so subtly. ”
“Fuck Alice! I dont give a shit what she thinks or feels!” Bellas mouth drops open, and she just stares at me for a moment.
“You dont really mean that,” she replies flatly, and the guarded look suddenly on her face only fuels the rage inside of me. Of course I dont mean it, but thats exactly the problem. And right now Im too angry to explain.
“Like hell I don’t! I didnt want to come here in the first place but I went because of you. Now I want fifteen minutes alone with you, and dont tell me youre any less wound up than I am, because Im pretty sure that by now youve drenched your underwear and pants from being so fucking wet!”
A low blow, and I kind of wish I could take back the words spilling from my mouth, but at least now Bellas angry with me and no longer holding back.
“Fuck you, Cullen!”
Okay, shes really angry when shes resorting to a last name basis, but I dont care. I know I deserve that anger, but it doesnt help our situation.
“I wish! But youd rather hang out with that moron and his overbearing, annoying bitch!”
Now her face is draining of color, and I know Ive overstepped my limits.
Shit. But theres nothing Im willing to say that can get me out of this now.
“Did you just call Alice a bitch?”
Her voice is deceptively calm but her eyes are alive with anger, and I absent-mindedly note that her fists are clenched and shes shaking slightly.
“Yes, I did, do I have to spell it out for you? What else do you call a woman whos behaving like she is? Were freaking tiptoeing around her as if we cheated on her! We cant even crack the slightest joke, and dont tell me she didnt rip you a new one after that word vomit of yours?”
“Its none of your business what she said to me. And I cant believe the shit youre saying! God, its like I dont even know you! Im pretty sure Jazz never talks about me like this, you know?”
Two low blows in as many sentences, and while I try hard not to, now my angers redirecting itself at Bella.
“Are you stupid or what? Did you already forget what he told Alice in order to land with her? He blamed it all on you, and Im sure he also used choice words like cunt or whore in that tale, too!”
The agony in her eyes makes me want to apologize instantly, but Im just telling her things she should know. And its not like I said that about her, but I shouldnt have to repeat it. Right now her forgiveness only adds to the rejection Im feeling, and I just cant take any more of this. I need to get away from here if I dont want to ruin all the civility Ive scraped together today.
“I think its best if I go now. Home. Care to accompany me?” Maybe I shouldve used a less condescending tone, as Bellas jaw is suddenly set as she glares at me.
“You know what? I think thats a good idea, in fact its the first sensible thing Ive heard from you tonight. Go home, Edward. But Im staying here, I wont let your inane jealousy ruin my life and the bond I have with my best friends. ”
I dont want to leave without her, but I know that it will take a while for her to snap out of that stubborn mood. Anything I say now will fall on deaf ears, so I might as well spare my breath.
“Awesome, have it your way! But dont come crying to me later when Alice keeps spewing her hostile comments at you, youve made your bed, now sleep in it!”
At least shes not alone in putting her foot in her mouth, but now the fact that Im not quite sober is in her favor, as my words dont shut her up as Ive hoped. Instead she gloats at me, and I definitely dont like the fire thats returning to her eyes.
“You know what, if I had a thread less of dignity I would so take that verbatim and go back to Alice and Jazz and ask them if I can sleep over.
Preferably in their bed. Alice might balk at first, but you know that shes never really revoked her invitation to make out with me. And Ive been okay with Jazz as a side dish with you, dont think that has changed all that much. Good night, Edward, and sleep tight!”
Im simply too stunned and hurt by her words to respond in time, and when I find my voice again Bella has already turned on her heel and is stalking through the crowd over to our table. I want to cry, shout, rage, and rant, but I know that Ill only make things worse if I follow her. So I do the only thing that I can do – and go home.
My mind is comfortably numb during the bus ride home, but when I open the door and walk into the empty condo, it all comes rushing back. Her words, the disbelief in her voice, the malice in her eyes – and confronted with the choice of curling up to die or throwing a fit, I let my anger consume me. I feel like smashing something, but I know that once Ive cooled down, giving in will only make me feel worse, so I quickly change into my shorts and running shoes and take off.
Its past midnight, its raining, and Im miserable even before Im as wet as a dog, but my rage keeps me warm. Soon the last residues of the tequila are burned up and my mind kicks into overdrive, and just to shut up the voices in my head I push myself harder and harder until Im running at full speed, and all thats left is the screaming burn in my muscles.
Eventually all my energy is spent, and I simply cant run anymore. I stop and bend over, trying to get some air into my lungs while my head spins from exhaustion. My whole body is quivering, and Im so thirsty that even the water in the puddles looks enticing. Once I’m able, I straighten and raise my face into the rainy darkness, letting the water hit my hot skin.
I have no idea where I am, some industrial area. I vaguely remember that I didnt take my phone with me, just my keys, but right now I dont care. I start walking, and a while later I recognize one of the buildings. Im just a few minutes from Rose and Emmetts, and I shake my head over the direction my subconscious has led me. While seeming a very unlikely voice of reason, Rose has always been there for me when I needed to work something out. Shes a good listener, and she has no filter when it comes to set my head straight. Shell know what to do. Shell help me get my head out of my ass again.
The flaw in my plan occurs to me as I get closer to my new destination.
Rose is seven months pregnant, bitchy as hell, and is in her right mind to blow me off when I show up at her doorstep at what I presume must be 2
AM by now. But maybe shell be gracious and call me a cab so I can get home at least.
Im nearly at their door when I see light coming from one of the windows behind the small balcony that opens onto the street, and when I crane my neck, I see a hulking shape up there, staring into the night. It strikes me as peculiar to see Emmett out there in the middle of the night, but who am I to talk? I call up to him, and after a moment he leans forward and squints down into the night.
“Is that you, Edward?”
“In the soaking wet flesh! Hey bud. ”
“Hey there yourself,” he replies, keeping his voice pitched low now. “You do realize that its 2:30 and raining cats?”
Ive noticed, but I seriously dont have the will for banter anymore, nor the energy.
“Yeah. Can I call a cab? Im kind of in need of a ride home. ”
“I have a much better idea!”
And hes gone, stepping inside. Barely a minute later he comes out of the house, a blanket and a pack of cigarettes in his hands. He nods at his Jeep parked at the curb, then hands me the blanket before getting inside.
“Just dont get anything too wet. Rose abhors that wet dog smell. ” I roll my eyes at him but put the blanket onto the seat before I climb inside.
Em cranks the window down and lights a Camel before he starts the car.
“Since when do you smoke?”
“On and off since Junior High. Promised Rosie I would give up for good once the babys here, and shes had some weird cramps earlier this week so I figured I might as well make good of that pack before the little bugger is early and derives me of my last guilty pleasure for the next eighteen years. ”
Hes grinning while he says it, his face lighting up when he mentions his wife and child alike. Reminds me of the day when Rose got her test results back and tracked me down at the hospital, hugging me and crying with joy for a full fifteen minutes. I dont think either of us doubted Em when he told her that he didnt care if the kid was his or not, but of course it was a relief for everyone when the test came back a positive match.
Ive been wondering for years what Rose saw in him, as I never thought that a woman of her intellect and snide tongue would ever be happy with such a big, goofy teddy bear, but of course theres more to him than his easy way and linebacker build. Evident sexual compatibility aside, hes one thing above everything else – loyal. I dont think Rose will ever have reason to doubt his undying love and devotion for her, and Im sure theyll stick together till the bitter end, come what may. I wish I could say the same for Bella and me, but we already proved to ourselves that well always have to fight to achieve as much as Em and Rose have now.
The thought makes me even more morose, and for a moment I have trouble breathing. Im still convinced that I did the right thing, but I know Ive made an ass of myself, and Bella won’t necessarily extend unlimited forgiveness to me.
“Spill, whatcha doing out here at this god forsaken hour? And dont tell me you needed to burn off some energy, I know you two have better ways of accomplishing that. ”
I send him a long look, but am simply too tired for joking.
“We fought. I stormed off. Then ran until I couldnt go on any longer. End of story. ”
Em stops at a red light and glances at me for a moment.
“That bad, huh?”
“I honestly dont know. Probably. ”
At his raised brow I shrug.
“Weve been out with Jazz and Alice. I lost it, said some things Bella wont let me forget for a while, but so did she. She didnt want to go home with me, so I left her there and went alone. I couldnt stand to just sit there in the dark and wait for her, so I went for a run. ”
“First fight?”
I want to laugh at the notion at first, but then realize that hes right, it really is our first fight. With all the drama I often forget that its only been a few months for us, and even though weve fought before, weve never had that kind of fight.
“I guess so. ”
“Always hits you the hardest. And is usually over something pretty stupid, huh?”
Or its something really important, and you fuck it up even more than it already was, but I dont really feel like sharing that bit with him. Its bad enough that Rose filled him in on the details after the whole thing with Jazz blew up in my face. At least hes not teasing me too much about it.
“You know, it takes a lot more than some stupid behavior and angry remarks for Bella to be seriously pissed off with you? She just doesnt eat it all up anymore. ”
“Im not concerned about her being pissed off. ”
As I say the words, I realize that theyre true. I can deal with her being cranky after what Ive said. What I cant deal with is the reason why everything got that bad.
“Ah. Sounds like theres more to this. ”
“Maybe. ”
“You still keeping up your denial routine?”
“You all sound like a broken record. Im not the one whos in denial!” My tempers flaring again, and I want to wipe the stupid grin off Emmetts face, but when he glances at me again his look is full of compassion.
“It’d be so much easier if it were just that, eh?” I agree, wholeheartedly. I wish my problem were something as easy as me running away from what happened, or how I feel about it. I could go see some therapist or other about that, and before long theyd diagnose me all healed once I coughed up the details.
“What ya gonna do about it? You know how the girls are, they always want to talk about shit. ”
“Sounds like a plan. ” I pause for a moment and glance outside into the pouring rain. “But what do I tell her when Ive said everything there is to say again and again? Cant really make something up just for the sake of saying something new, right?”