Before I hit the ground, large hands swooped me up.
"What the hell is your hurry?" Marks said, releasing me once I'd found my balance.
"Sorry. I was just coming in here for a late dinner."
"Oh," he said with a knowing smile. "You saw Maddox in there."
"I, uh...can find somewhere else to eat."
"Liis?" Thomas called from the doorway.
"She doesn't want to eat here since you're here," Marks yelled back, cupping my shoulder.
Everyone dining on the patio turned to look at me.
I pushed Marks's hand away and lifted my chin. "Fuck off."
I stomped toward my car.
Marks called after me, "You've been hanging out with Val too long!"
I didn't turn around. Instead, I reached into my purse for my keys and pressed the keyless entry.
Before I could open the door, I felt hands on me again.
"Liis," Thomas said, breathless from jogging across the parking lot.
I jerked my arm away and yanked the door open.
"She's just a friend. She worked in Constance's position for Polanski when he was the ASAC."
I shook my head. "You don't have to explain."
He pushed his hands into his pocket. "Yeah, I do. You're upset."
"Not because I want to be." I looked up at him. "I'll figure it out. Until then, the avoidance thing is working for me."
Thomas nodded once. "I'm sorry. Upsetting you is the last thing I want to do. You, um...you look gorgeous. Were you meeting someone?"
I made a face. "No, I'm not meeting someone. I'm not dating. I don't date," I snapped. "Not that I don't expect you to," I said, motioning to the restaurant.
I began to sit in the driver's seat, but Thomas gently held my arm.
"We're not dating," he said. "I was just helping her with darts. Her boyfriend is in there."
I glared at him, dubious. "Great. I have to go. I haven't eaten."
"Eat here," he said. He offered a hopeful small smile. "I can teach you how to play, too."
"I'd rather not be one of many. Thank you."
"You're not. You never have been."
"No, just one of two."
"Whether you believe it or not, Liis...you've been the only. There has never been anyone else but you."
I sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'll see you at work on Monday. We have an early meeting."
"Yep," he said, taking a step back.
I slid into the driver's seat and then stabbed the ignition with the key. The Camry made a dainty growl, and then I backed up and pulled away, leaving Thomas alone in the parking lot.
The first lit drive-through sign I saw, I pulled in and waited in line. Once I received my non-Fuzzy burger and small fries, I drove the rest of the way home.
My sack crinkled as I shut my car door, and then I walked to the lobby doors, feeling abysmal that my brilliant plan for distraction couldn't have been more of a failure.
"Hey!" Val called from across the street.
I looked over at her, and she waved.
"You're a hot bitch! Come to Cutter's with me!"
I lifted my sack.
"Dinner?" she yelled.
"Kind of!" I called back.
"Fuzzy's?"
"No!"
"Gross!" she yelled. "Liquor will be more satisfying!"
I sighed and then glanced each way before crossing the street. Val hugged me, and then her smile faded when she noticed my expression.
"What's wrong?"
"I went to KC Barbeque. Thomas was there with a very tall and pretty blonde."
Val pursed her lips. "You're way better than her. Everyone knows she's a total skank."
"Do you know her?" I asked. "She is Polanski's assistant."
"Oh," Val said. "No, Allie is super sweet, but we're going to pretend she's a skank."
"Allie?" I whined, puffing out a breath like the wind had been knocked out of me. The name sounded exactly like the perfect girl who Thomas could fall in love with. "Kill me now."
She hooked her arm around me. "I'm packing heat. I can if you want."
I leaned my head onto her shoulder. "You're a good friend."
"I know," Val said, guiding me to Cutter's.
I FORCED A SMILE FOR AGENT TREVINO while stopped at check-in, and then I steered my Camry toward the parking garage. I was already in a foul mood from the weekend, and the fact that it was Monday wasn't helping matters.
Thomas was right. I did hate driving on the freeway, and that annoyed me as well. I found a parking space and pushed the gear forward into park. Then, I grabbed my purse and brown leather messenger bag. Shoving the door open, I stepped out to see Agent Grove struggling to get out of his blue sedan.
"Morning," I said.
He simply nodded, and we headed for the elevator bay. I pressed the button, trying not to tip him off that I was nervous to have him standing behind me.
He coughed into his hand, and I used that as an excuse to glance back.
My sleek ponytail whipped over my right shoulder as I did so. "Summer colds are the worst."
"Allergies," he grumbled, almost to himself.
The elevator opened, and I stepped on, followed by Grove. His pale-blue shirt and too-small tie made his expansive midsection look even more pronounced.
"How are the interviews going?" I asked.
Grove's wiry mustache twitched. "It's a little early to engage in chitchat, Agent Lindy."
I raised my eyebrows and then faced forward, holding my hands in front of me. The seventh floor chimed, and I stepped into the hallway. I glanced back at Grove, who glared at me until the doors slid shut.
Val merged with me as I approached the security doors. "Open the door, open the door, open the--"
"We're not finished," Marks said with a grimace.
Val instantly switched on a smile and turned around. "For now, we are."
"No, we're not," Marks said, his bright blue eyes flaming.
I pushed open the door, and Val took a step backward. "But we are...so we are." When the door closed in Marks's face, she turned back around and squeezed my arm. "Thank you."
"What was that about?"
She rolled her eyes and puffed out a breath. "He still wants me to move out of my condo."
"Well...I wouldn't like my boyfriend living with his wife either."
"Marks is not my boyfriend, and Sawyer is not my husband."
"Your status with Marks is debatable, but you are definitely still married to Sawyer. He hasn't signed the papers yet?"
We turned into my office, and Val shut the door before falling into a club chair.
"No! He came home from Cutter's one night, going on and on about how Davies was a mistake."
"Wait--Agent Davies?"
"Yes."
"But you..."
Val's nose wrinkled, and when recognition hit, she jumped out of the chair. "No! Ew! Ew! Even if I were a lesbian, I'd much prefer ChapStick to lipstick. Agent Davies looks like a reject from a Cher look-alike contest with all that"--she circled her face with her index finger--"stuff on her face."
"So, when you said you experienced both Sawyer and Davies, you meant because he'd cheated on you with her."
"Yes!" she said, still disgusted. She sat back in the chair, keeping her butt on the edge, while letting her shoulders fall back against the cushion.
"If you say that to anyone else, you might consider clarifying."
Val let that thought simmer, and then she closed her eyes, her shoulders sagging. "Shit."
"You're not going to forgive Sawyer?" I asked.
"God, no."
"What keeps you there, Val? I know it's your condo, but that can't be all there is to it."
She lifted her arms before letting them slap to her thighs. "That's it."
"Lie."
"Well, now," she said, sitting up and crossing her arms, "look who is honing her craft."
"More like common sense," I said. "Now, if
you're going to be a bad friend, shoo. I have work to do." I shuffled papers, pretending to be disinterested.
"I can't forgive him," she said, her voice small. "I've tried. I could have forgiven anything else."
"Really?"
She nodded.
"Have you told him that?"
She picked at her nails. "Pretty much."
"You need to tell him, Val. He still thinks there's a chance."
"I'm dating Marks. Sawyer still thinks I'm hung up on him?"
"You are married to him."
Val sighed. "You're right. It's time. But I warn you, if I put down the hammer and he doesn't budge, you might have a new roommate."
I shrugged. "I'll help you pack."
Val left with a smile, and I opened my laptop, input the password, and began scrolling through my emails. Three from Constance marked Urgent caught my eye.
I directed the mouse to the first email and clicked.
AGENT LINDY,
ASAC MADDOX REQUESTS A MEETING AT 1000. PLEASE CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE, AND HAVE YOUR CASE FILE IN HAND.
CONSTANCE
I opened the second.
AGENT LINDY,
ASAC MADDOX REQUESTS THE MEETING TO BE MOVED TO 0900. PLEASE BE PROMPT, AND HAVE YOUR CASE FILE IN HAND.
CONSTANCE
I opened the third.
AGENT LINDY,
ASAC MADDOX INSISTS THAT YOU REPORT TO HIS OFFICE THE MOMENT YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL. PLEASE HAVE YOUR CASE FILE IN HAND.
CONSTANCE
I looked at my watch. It was barely eight a.m. I grabbed the mouse and clicked through recent documents, printing the new intel I had accumulated. I grabbed the file folder, snatched the papers off the printer, and ran down the hall.
"Hi, Constance," I said, winded.
She looked up at me and smiled, batting her long black lashes. "He can see you now."
"Thank you," I breathed, walking past her.
Thomas was sitting with his back to me, staring at the gorgeous view outside of his corner office.
"Agent Maddox," I said, trying to sound normal. "I'm sorry. I just saw the email...s. I brought the case file. I have a few more--"
"Have a seat, Lindy."
I blinked and then did as he'd commanded. The three mysterious picture frames were still on his desk, but the center frame was lying on its face.
"I can't make them wait any longer," Thomas said. "The Office of the Inspector General wants an arrest."
"Travis?"
He turned. The skin under his eyes was purple. He looked like he'd lost weight. "No, no...Grove. Travis will start his training soon. If Grove hears from Benny or Tarou about Travis...well, we'll be dead in the water anyway.
"Constance will send everything you have to the US Attorney's office. They're going to stage an armed robbery at the gas station he frequents. He'll be shot. Witnesses will testify that he was killed.
"Then, Tarou and Benny will think they're shit out of luck instead of packing up and destroying evidence because Grove was busted and all roads lead to their criminal activity."
"Sounds like a home run, sir."
Thomas winced at my cold response and then sat behind his desk. We remained in awkward silence for a solid ten seconds, and then Thomas made the smallest gesture toward the door.
"Thank you, Agent Lindy. That will be all."
I nodded and stood up. I walked to the door, but I couldn't leave. Against my better judgment, I turned, holding my free hand in a fist and tightly gripping the file folder so that I wouldn't drop it.
He was reading the top page of a stack, holding a highlighter in one hand with the cap in the other.
"Are you taking care of yourself, sir?"
Thomas blanched. "Am I...excuse me?"
"Taking care of yourself. You seem tired."
"I'm fine, Lindy. That will be all."
I gritted my teeth and then took a step forward. "Because if you need to talk--"
He let both hands fall to his desk. "I don't need to talk, and even if I did, you would be the last person I would talk to."
I nodded once. "I'm sorry, sir."
"Stop...calling me that," he said, lowering his voice at the end.
I held my hands in front of me. "I feel it's no longer appropriate to call you Thomas."
"Agent Maddox or Maddox is fine." He looked down at his paper. "Now, please...please leave, Lindy."
"Why did you call me in here if you didn't want to see me? You could have just as easily had Constance take care of it."
"Because, once in a while, Liis, I just need to see your face. I need to hear your voice. Some days are tougher for me than others."
I swallowed and then walked toward his desk. He braced himself for what I might do next.
"Don't do that," I said. "Don't make me feel guilty. I tried not to...this is exactly what I didn't want."
"I know. I accept full responsibility."
"This isn't my fault."
"I just said that," he said, sounding exhausted.
"You all but asked for this. You wanted your feelings for me to replace your feelings for Camille. You needed someone closer to blame because you couldn't blame her. You have to get along because she's going to be family, and I'm just someone you work with...someone you knew would move on."
Thomas seemed too emotionally drained to argue. "Christ, Liis, do you really think I planned this? How many ways do I have to tell you? What I felt for you, what I still feel for you, makes my feelings for Camille insignificant."
I covered my face. "I feel like I sound like a broken record."
"You do," he said, his voice flat.
"You think this is easy for me?" I asked.
"It certainly seems that way."
"Well, it's not. I thought...not that it matters now, but that weekend, I hoped that I could change. I thought, for two wounded people, if we were invested enough, if we felt enough, then we could make it."
"We're not wounded, Liis. We're matching scars."
I blinked. "If we ran into unfamiliar territory, which is everything for me, we could adjust for variables, you know? But I can't throw away every plan I have for my future on the hope that, one day, you'll stop being sad because you're not with her." I felt tears burning my eyes. "If I were going to give you my future, I'd need you to move on from the past." I grabbed the flat frame and held it in Thomas's face, forcing him to look at it.
His eyes left mine, and when he scanned over the photograph beneath the glass, one side of his mouth turned up.
Incensed, I turned the picture around, and then my mouth fell open. Thomas and I were inside the frame together, a black-and-white snapshot, the one Falyn had taken of us in St. Thomas. He was squeezing me against him, kissing my cheek, and I was smiling like forever was real.
I picked up the other frame and looked at it. It was all five Maddox brothers. I picked up the last one to see his parents.
"I loved her first," Thomas said. "But you, Liis...you are the last woman I will ever love."
I stood there, speechless, and then retreated toward the door.
"Can I...have my pictures back?" he asked.
I realized then that I had left the file on his desk, and instead, I'd walked off with the pictures in my hands. I slowly walked over to him. He held out his hand, and I returned the frames.
"I'll just give this to Constance," I said, picking up the file, feeling disoriented. I turned on my heels and bolted.
"Liis," he called after me.
The moment I breached the door, I practically tossed the file at Constance.
"Have a good day, Agent Lindy," she said, her voice carrying throughout the squad room.
I withdrew to my office and sat down in my chair, putting my head in my hands. Seconds later, Val burst in from the hall, and Marks came in after her, slamming the door behind him.
I looked up.
Val pointed at him. "Stop! You can't chase me all over the building!"
"I'll stop following you whe
n you start giving me straight answers!" he yelled.
"What the hell is wrong with everyone today? Has this entire office gone crazy?" I yelled.
"I've already given you an answer!" Val said, ignoring me. "I told you I would talk to him tonight!"
Sawyer popped his head in, knocking as he did so. "Boss?"
"Get out!" Marks, Val, and I yelled in unison.
"Okay then," Sawyer said, ducking out.
"And then what?" Marks asked.
"If he won't move out, I will," Val said as if the words had been punched out of her.
"Thank Christ!" Marks yelled to an invisible audience, pointing all his fingers in Val's general direction. "A straight fucking answer!"
Thomas blew in. "What the hell is with all the shouting?"
I covered my face again.
"Are you all right, Liis? What happened to her, Val? Is she all right?" Thomas asked.
Marks spoke first, "I'm sorry, sir. Are you...are you okay, Lindy?"
"I'm fine!" I shrieked. "I just need you toddlers to get the fuck out of my office!"
All three of them froze, staring at me in disbelief.
"Get out!"
Val and Marks left first, and then after some reluctance, Thomas left me alone, closing the door behind him.
The rest of Squad Five stared at me. I walked over to the glass wall, flipped them all both of my middle fingers, shot off several strong words in Japanese, and then pulled the blinds closed.
I READJUSTED MY CELL PHONE, so it sat better between my cheek and my shoulder while I tried to cook. "Hang on, Mom. Just a sec," I said, resorting to setting the phone on the cabinet.
"You know I hate the speakerphone." Her voice wafted with the spices in the air. "Liis, take me off the speakerphone."
"I'm the only one here, Mom. No one else can hear you. I need both hands."
"At least you're cooking for yourself and not eating that processed poison every night. Have you gained any weight?"
"I've lost a few pounds actually," I said, smiling even though she couldn't see me.
"Not too much I hope," she grumbled.
I laughed. "Mom, you're never happy."
"I just miss you. When are you coming home? You're not going to wait until Christmas, are you? What are you cooking? Is it any good?"
I added broccoli, carrots, and water to the hot canola oil and then pushed them around the skillet as it sizzled. "I miss you, too. I don't know. I'll look at my schedule, chicken and vegetable stir-fry, and hopefully, it will be amazing."
"Have you mixed the sauce? You have to mix it first, you know, to let it blend and breathe."