‘Please!’ the swine squeals in terror, ‘I’m an important man! Release me at once!’ He strains at the stockings that hold him firmly in place and bind his arms above his head. His struggles are useless. I feel my lips curve into a hungry smile but I pay him no heed. I test the edge of my blade with my fingertips and feel the razor edge cut easily into the first layer of skin.
‘ You harlot!’ he screams insults as if they will shock me out of what I am doing. ‘You worthless whore!’
‘No sir,’ I slide over to his bedside and watch him writhe beneath me. The whites of his eyes are webbed with red and a trickle of saliva leaks from the left corner of his mouth. He disgusts me. ‘It is you who is the whore.’ I tell him. I let the tip of the knife trace a tickling pattern down his chest, pricking at his stomach. ‘Like an animal you shall be slaughtered. I wonder what I should cut off first.’ I use the knife to slice apart his belt.
His face goes from maroon to gray.
‘ Shall I relieve you of your filthy desires? I know it excites you when I scream. Should I take away that excitement?’
‘N - no please!’ he stammers, ‘you’re mad!’
‘Mad?’ I throw back my head and let out a long, full laugh. ‘I am - ‘
There was a sudden knock on the door. Lilith’s head shot up and she pivoted her body around in confusion. A bright red flush flooded her cheeks and she clutched the towel against her naked body. She’d been so caught up in writing the scene inside her head that she had completely lost track of the time.
“Wh – who is it?” She called, expecting someone to answer her but instead the door burst open. There was a faint scuffle and her bags went flying into the room. Lilith let out a startled shriek and tried to cover herself.
“Oi, I’m sorry Miss! I’m sorry!” Lilith blinked and saw a young boy, no more than nine or ten, scurrying to pick up all the fallen bags. He stacked them up and bowed, averting his gaze with flaming cheeks. Lilith snatched up a robe and put it on before kneeling down to help him.
“Who are you?” She asked curiously. He was a ruddy looking child with dark hair and a snub little nose. When he looked up at her she could see he had a front tooth out.
“M’ name’s Jamie, Miss,” he mumbled. “Me mum works here in the house.”
“Lettie!” Lilith exclaimed, feeling stupid. “Of course, Lettie must be your mother. Your eyes are the exact same shade as hers.” If possible, Jamie blushed even deeper.
“Yes ‘m, that’s right.” His eyes darted over her and around the room until they settled on her book, still opened, beside the bottle of ink. His eyes grew very round. “You writin’?” He asked her, awestruck.
“Yes,” Lilith crossed the room and quickly folded the pages shut. “I am.”
“Like a book? A real one?”
Lilith frowned. “I don’t know about that. I’ll never submit it anywhere. It’s just for me.”
“Wow,” Jamie whistled and looked at her with reverence. “Writin’ a book all on yer own. That’s somethin’ amazin’ that it is.”
“Thank you, I suppose.”
“Can I tell you somethin’?” he asked her. Hands clasped behind his back he drew circles into the rug with his toe. He was obviously nervous. Lilith nodded. “I thought you was like the beast at first. Missus Vines tol’ me you was not t’ be looked at. I was bloody afeared to come up here.”
“A beast?” Lilith laughed. “What beast?” Jamie looked appalled that she was unaware of what he was speaking of.
“Everybody knows about the beast, Miss, it’s a monster. It’s been huntin’ around here for years. It’s a fearful thing, kill ye as soon as it sees ye. No one knows what it looks like though, prob’ly invisible.” He added thoughtfully. Lilith smiled in amusement at his vivid imagination.
“Goodness,” she remarked.
“Well, I’d best be leavin’ you. I don’t want to be no bother.” Jamie shoved his hands in his pockets and gave a little bow. “Now that I know ye, I’m glad you’s here.”
“You’re no bother,” She encouraged him. “Come back and visit me anytime.”
“You mean it?”
“Of course.”
After he had gone Lilith went back to her vanity and opened up the book. These were her innermost thoughts. They were imperfect thoughts, unrefined, hidden in the depths of her mind. Once she never ventured there; now it was her only lifeline. The thoughts became words through the medium of her hand, scratching a quill pen to paper. The unprettified truth of her soul. The writing had smudged but thankfully the words were still perfectly legible. Instead of adding to them, Lilith sat and stared. What fate was cruel enough for him? How could she prolong his agony? Something was lacking, she felt. This would be the thirty-second time she would murder him with ink. Dispatching him over and over again filled her with a sense of control in her otherwise uncontrollable existence. Right now it was the only hunger that plagued her. And yet, for some reason, she was having a difficult time summoning a grisly enough fate for him. She wanted him to cry and scream. She wished him to suffer as he had made her suffer. Faced with that challenge she could think of nothing bad enough. With a barely covered yawn she threw aside her pen and shed her robe so that she could spread out naked on the expensive silk sheets covering her bed. Luxury. She had never been surrounded by so much of it. She stretched out her body as far it would go and burrowed beneath the goose feather blanket like a pale white mole.
“’Everybody knows about the beast, Miss, it’s a monster. It’s been huntin’ around here for years….’”
Such a peculiar story. Lilith wondered where he’d gotten it. She didn’t believe a single word, of course. Children would always have their stories and Lilith knew, without a doubt, that the only real beasts of the world were humans.
Thoughts of her book floated through her mind as she shut her eyes against the world. Even wrapped in her cocoon of blankets she couldn’t feel safe. Would she ever? Her fury was insatiable. Still she could think of no proper execution. Not that night. She would have to deliberate.