Kate’s heart was hammering. A red mist started to descend in her mind.
Suddenly, her mouth was running away with her.
“What about me?” she cried. “How about a happy birthday? You haven’t even acknowledged my seventeenth! Why does everything have to be about Madison? How about you caring about me for a change?”
Max’s and Madison’s eyes bulged with fear. Kate had never stood up for herself before and both were worried about what the fallout might look like.
By the expression on their mom’s face it was clear she’d completely forgotten Kate’s birthday was today. But she wasn’t going to admit her mistake—she never did.
“I’m not prepared to discuss this with you, young lady. You’re going to clean houses with me to help pay for Madison’s tuition and that’s the end of it.” Her tone was emotionless and cold. “If I hear any more lip from you, I’ll pull you out of school and you won’t even get your high school diploma. Got it?” She gazed at Kate with a look of pure revulsion in her eyes. “Now, aren’t you going to be late for school?” she added.
Kate stood there, fuming. Tears brimmed in her eyes. Other kids looked forward to gifts and parties on their birthdays. All she got was the news that her future had been taken away from her.
She slammed her yogurt carton down and stormed out of the house. It was May and the sun was burning hot, searing her pale skin. She grabbed her bike up from where she’d dumped it after school yesterday and began riding down the street, pumping her legs as hard as she could, trying to find a way to alleviate the anger pulsing through her.
She hated her mom. She hated her stupid new house. She hated her family. It was all a lie. The only thing that had kept her going all these years was the knowledge she’d one day escape from this place, from her awful, suffocating mother and her useless drunk of a father. That one day she’d be off to college. She wanted to go to the East Coast, to get as far away from them all as possible.
Now that dream was over.
CHAPTER TWO
Kate managed to bike to school in record-fast time. Usually she was overtaken at some point by Madison, but she’d been so angry she’d powered herself there in less than forty-five minutes.
Sweat prickled her back as she locked up her bike in the racks beside the parking lot. She knew, self-consciously, that her face would be crimson red and blotchy.
Just then, a car pulled up into the space just behind her and Tony jumped out.
“Oh God,” Kate muttered aloud.
Tony was her crush. He played on the football team, hung out with all the cool kids, and yet somehow, despite that all, he was a really lovely person. He was the sort of guy who had time for anyone. He didn’t see the kids at high school through the lenses of their cliques. Kate wasn’t a fringe girl to him—she was just Kate Roswell. Sometimes Kate felt like he was the only person who didn’t view her in comparison to her prettier, more popular, funnier sister.
“Kate,” he said, slamming his car door. “How’s it going?”
Kate couldn’t help but feel awkward. She wished she wasn’t standing there covered in sweat and looking exhausted.
“Good,” she said, the only thing that came to her mind.
“Hey,” he said with a slightly quizzical expression. “You look different today. You’ve done something to your eyes.”
“Mascara,” she replied, feeling even more awkward.
“It looks good,” he said in a matter-of-fact way. “I hadn’t realized how blue your eyes were before.”
Kate’s stomach swirled. If he wasn’t meaning to flirt with her, he was doing a pretty bad job.
“Hey, am I right in thinking it’s your birthday today?” he added.
She couldn’t help but swoon. How had he known that? She didn’t remember having told him.
“Uh, yeah, it is,” she said.
Tony smiled, showing off his gorgeous, pearly teeth. “Happy birthday.”
He leaned toward her and pulled her into a hug. Kate stood there stiffly. Her whole body seemed to buzz with electricity. She wanted to hug him back but was worried if she lifted her arms she’d expose sweat patches the size of China.
Tony let go and pulled back.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, feeling like the biggest dork in the world. She wished she could play it cool. She knew Madison would never have freaked if her crush had just hugged her.
“Hey look,” Tony said, his eyes darting over her shoulder as the football team sauntered into the parking lot. “I’ve gotta rush. Have a good birthday, okay?” He was already walking away, talking over his shoulder as he went. “If I see you at lunch I’ll get you a cupcake.” Then he was off, jogging away toward his friends.
Kate clutched her bag tightly, well aware she’d just made a total mess of that whole interaction. It had been the eyes comment that had thrown her. She couldn’t help but wonder if Tony had been flirting with her. Maybe there was a little part of him that had a crush on her, too.
“Kate!” someone shouted, and she turned around to see her three best friends rushing up toward her.
Dinah Higgins, Nicole Young, and Amy Tan had been Kate’s best friends since they all met in ninth grade. Dinah was African American and came from a big, warm family who seemed to have more time for Kate than her own did. She wore her hair in neat cornrows, with reds and white woven in. Nicole lived with just her dad; her mom had died from cancer when she was really little. She was Californian through and through, but tried to hide it under layers of black dresses and biker boots. Because her hair was naturally blond, she often went to town dyeing it all kinds of colors. At the moment, the ends were bright orange. Amy was the girl that Kate felt the closest to of all of them. Her parents were both Chinese and had moved to America to give her and her brother better prospects. As a result, there was a huge cultural difference between Amy and her parents. They viewed her as a bit of an oddity, with her love of pop culture, obsession with reality TV, and goofy personality. It was for those reasons that Kate and Amy were so close. Amy felt like an outsider in her family, too.
The three girls grabbed Kate and wrapped her up in a bear hug.
“Happy birthday!” they all cried.
Many of the cooler kids in the parking lot were looking over with disgusted expressions—they were way too cool to behave like that in public. But Kate didn’t care. She loved her friends and how special they always made her feel, despite the fact she was plain and boring in comparison to Madison.
“We have presents!” Dinah beamed, pulling a badly wrapped gift from her bag and depositing it in Kate’s arms.
“Open mine first,” Nicole added, shoving a small box toward Kate.
“No guesses for what this is,” Amy said, handing her a book-shaped parcel.
Kate was weighed down by all the gifts. “Thanks, guys,” she beamed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just open them!” Nicole cried.
They went and sat on the grass beside the tennis courts. Kate opened all her gifts—a box of chocolates from Dinah, some skull-and-crossbone earrings from Nicole, and a secondhand copy of Romeo and Juliet. Kate loved Shakespeare and she loved romantic tragedies, and would spend all evening reading them if she could.
“You guys are the best,” she said, hugging each of them.
Amy nudged her friend. “So… what did Mother Monster say this morning? Did you get a happy birthday?”
Kate shook her head. “No.” It was then she remembered the card from Max. “Max was the only one who even acknowledged me.”
She pulled out the card. It had gotten a little crumbled in her bag. She opened up the envelope and saw a sparkly pink card with a flower on the front. It was the kind of card you got for a four-year-old, but she was still grateful. Max must have spent his pocket money on it; there was no way their mom would have lent him some.
The inside of the card read: “To my sister on her birthday.” He hadn’t written a message, just “Kate” at the top and “Max” underneath
. Looking at the simple card made her heart clench again, reminding her of the painful, disappointing morning. Before Kate could stop herself, her bottom lip began to tremble.
“Kate!” Dinah cried, throwing her arms around her friend. “What’s wrong!”
Kate tried to speak through her tears but they were overwhelming her. All three girls knew how difficult her home life was—they’d listened to her and helped her through three years of anguish already—and felt nothing but concern for their friend.
“Mom said,” Kate began, sniffing hard, “she said that I can’t go to college. That I have to work to help pay for Madison’s tuition.”
Amy’s mouth dropped open. Dinah shot Kate a pained expression. Nicole squeezed her arm.
“She can’t do that!” Amy cried.
“That’s so unfair,” Nicole said, frowning hard. “You can always stay with my family if you need to get out from under her roof.”
“Or mine,” Dinah added. “My mom loves you. You know that.”
“Thanks,” Kate grumbled. “But I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t get to college. That’s like my escape plan, you know?”
The girls nodded. They’d had many a conversation about college, even going as far as to discuss attending the same one so they wouldn’t have to be split up.
“I just don’t know what to do,” Kate added, succumbing once again to her tears.
“I suppose Madison didn’t stick up for you,” Amy said. She hated Madison for not supporting Kate and was always trying to tell Kate not to give her sister so much slack. As far as Amy was concerned, Madison should call their mom out for treating Kate so badly, rather than innocently lapping up her compliments and attention.
“No,” Kate replied, glumly.
“Hey,” Nicole said, wrapping an arm around her friend. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve got us, we’ll watch your back. Something will happen to turn it all around. I promise.”
Kate just didn’t know how she could be so sure. Nicole was always going on about things changing and working out eventually, but the only way things seemed to change for Kate was for the worst. Her dad’s drinking got worse, her mom’s hold over her life got stronger, Madison became more and more distant as her status as golden child became more and more elevated. Kate’s life seemed to be following a downward trajectory, and losing the possibility of going to college was about the last straw.
Nicole was still babbling on. “There’s the prom coming up,” she was saying. “Who knows what might happen there.”
“Oh, please,” Kate replied. “Boys are about the last thing on my mind at the moment.”
“Oh really?” Amy said with a raised eyebrow. “Because I thought I saw a certain Tony Martin giving a certain Kate Roswell a hug in the parking lot.”
Despite her sadness, the thought did lift Kate a little. She felt a smile tug at her lips. “Yeah. He, um, he said my eyes looked nice with the mascara.”
“Oh my God!” Dinah shouted. “He’s totally into you!”
Kate laughed and shook her head. “I don’t know about that. He’s nice to everyone.”
“Yeah, nice,” Amy said, “not flirty!”
Nicole was looking triumphant. “Didn’t I tell you things would be on the up again soon?”
Kate waved her hands, trying to temper her friends’ excitement.
“I really don’t think it’s like that,” she said.
“Maybe he’s going to ask you to the prom,” Dinah squealed.
The thought made Kate’s stomach flutter with excitement. Was there a chance he might ask her? Just then she remembered her mascara and how she’d been crying.
“Oh God, am I all streaky?” she asked, panicked.
“No, girl,” Dinah replied. “You’re looking good. But I’m going to glam you up at lunch time, as a birthday treat!”
Dinah loved makeup. Because of her big family she didn’t get to buy all the clothes and shoes she wanted to keep up with trends so she was forever modifying her clothes herself and creating makeup. She’d become incredibly creative. She always encouraged the others to experiment with their looks more. Nicole was the only other one who went all out with her appearance. Amy tried to stay neutral so as not to freak her family out, though she had a penchant for miniskirts and knee-high boots whenever she got the chance.
Kate was the only one who’d never really fully explored her identity through fashion. She felt like most choices she made were specifically to irritate her mom. Ever since she gave up wearing her mom’s silky, frilly, pastel-colored dresses and going to pageant shows, she’d become a tomboy. But she didn’t know if she was truly a tomboy or whether she just enjoyed knowing it pissed off her mom when she dressed like one.
Kate smiled. If there was any chance Tony might be thinking of asking her to the prom, she may as well give herself every chance in the world. She already felt a million times better than she did during her angry cycle ride this morning. She knew her friends would be there for her.
“And look, if Tony doesn’t ask me to the prom, it won’t be a big deal,” Kate added. “We can always go with each other.”
“I’m so glad you said that,” Amy replied. “I don’t think my parents will let me get in a car with a boy!”
They all laughed. It felt good to know they had each other’s backs, that they didn’t need to rely on guys to have a good time at the prom.
The bell rang and the girls stood and went in their separate directions. Amy and Kate both had math so they walked arm in arm along the corridors.
Kate suddenly felt Amy squeeze her hand. She looked up and realized Madison was hanging around the lockers with her cheerleader friends. She had her back to Kate and Amy, not knowing they were behind her, and was recounting some story that was making the girls roar with laughter.
“And then Mom was like, ‘Young lady, you’re going to become a cleaner like me so that Madison can go to college.’ Can you believe it? I was like, ‘Oh my God, she’s like, turning my sister into a slave!’ And this is all happening on her birthday! Like, I got a car for my seventeenth. She gets, like, nothing.”
She roared with laughter, as did the other girls with her. Kate’s stomach seemed to fall to her feet. How could Madison be laughing about her like that? She knew Madison didn’t exactly have her back at home, but she didn’t realize she’d gossip about her misfortune to her friends.
Amy clung to Kate’s arm, trying to support her, trying to keep her grounded. She helped steer Kate past Madison and the gang of mean girls. As Kate passed, she knew Madison would recognize her, that she’d realize she’d overheard her.
She looked back over her shoulder at her sister. They locked eyes and Madison was wearing a slightly shocked expression. But other than that, she gave no hint of acknowledgment that she’d trampled over Kate’s feelings. Then she broke the gaze, turning her full attention to her friends.
Kate trudged to class, feeling lower than ever before.
CHAPTER THREE
Kate made it through her first two classes, though her mood didn’t improve. She was relieved when the bell rang and it was lunchtime and she could be reunited with her friends.
Kate stood in line with her friends in the crowded cafeteria and tried not to look too closely at the selection of food. It was pretty dire. Nicole, as a vegetarian, had the hardest time finding stuff she could eat. Today she was having potato waffles and beans, while Dinah and Amy were faring slightly better with chicken tikka masala and rice. Kate thought the curry looked a bit too fatty but Dinah, slightly bigger than average, didn’t care because she was tall and well proportioned. Amy was stick thin and seemed to be able to eat anything she wanted without putting on weight. Nicole seemed to stay trim from her fussiness alone.
In the end, Kate opted for a salad. Though she knew her mom’s taunts about her weight were unfounded, she still couldn’t help but feel like maybe, if she did just lose those extra couple of pounds, her mom wouldn’t be as harsh with her.
?
??Girl,” Dinah said when she saw her plate, “don’t tell me that’s all you’re eating. Dang, it’s your birthday! Have a dessert at least!”
Kate lowered down in her seat.
“Actually, Tony said if he saw me at lunch he’d get me a cupcake,” she said.
The other three girls all grinned and gave each other looks. Kate felt a little silly to have mentioned it.
“Oh my God,” Nicole suddenly said.
Everyone stopped giggling and looked round to see what she was looking at.
A gorgeous boy had just wandered into the cafeteria.
“Oh,” Kate said, turning back. “That’s Elijah. He’s a new senior, started about a month back. I’ve heard Madison talking about him.”
“That heavenly man’s been walking around the school for a whole month and this is the first I’ve ever seen of him?” Nicole said without a slight bitter tone to her voice. She seemed transfixed by him, like she couldn’t tear her eyes away.
Dinah seemed to like the look of him, too.
“Oh hell yes. He’s got that whole Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic thing going on.”
“But brooding,” Nicole murmured. “Dark and brooding.”
Kate took another look. Elijah was strikingly attractive. But from what she’d heard Madison telling her mom, Elijah was a bit of a loner. He never seemed to have anyone to hang around with. Madison had tried to get him to join her gang when he started a month earlier but he’d been reluctant, something Madison took as a slight. She’d since decided he was a bit of a freak and not worthy of her attention.
He did seem pretty elusive. In fact, this was probably the first time Kate had ever seen him in the cafeteria. San Marcos was a big school but someone like Elijah wasn’t the type to get lost in a crowd. She wondered why she hadn’t seen him more often.
“You know what we were saying about prom?” Nicole said. “I take it back. I’d ditch you three in a heartbeat if it meant I got to go with him!”
Everyone began to laugh. Except for Kate, that is. She’d been looking at Elijah, studying the way he moved through the crowds of people. He was so light on his feet it almost looked like he was floating. He had a graceful way of moving, like each step was part of a dance routine. It was mesmerizing.