Read Before The Aftermath Page 20


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  Imagine the dreams when you visit me/ Clouds rain down diamonds/ But they don't hurt us/ A soft twilight lingers/ Like a warm fleece blanket/ I sit on a stump not thinking of much/ Just staring off into the mist/ I catch sight of you/ Stealthy creature of the night/ Miracle of nature/ Coming to me from the water/ I stand to my feet and walk out into the pond/ Your white blouse is soaking wet/ We meet up waist deep, and I weep/ The diamonds fall through the mist/ Splashing around this lover's tryst/ And we kiss/ SLAM!/ Somewhere cell doors crash/ I pick up my weary head/ Open up my hazy eyes/ And I am still doing time/ Missing you always with every waking thought/ I know I'll see you soon/ I love you like the Sun loves the moon/ I love you like roses in June/ Like God loves everyone/ Like two swans in a pond/ I love you like a conundrum/ Like a West rising Sun/ Like cold boiling water/ Like a scalding hot ice cube/ The way I love you/ Turns the world upside down/ So it spins the other way/ Creating a new sort of day/ All because I heard you say/ I love you

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  Propaganda/ To trick the ignorant/ Into listening/ Propaganda/ To navigate the cracks/ Of a closed mind/ Nobody listens for it/ That fact’s irrelevant/ This speaker must hope/ For an open ear/ Anyone to care/ A thoughtless society/ Is a speaker’s dilemma/ The outliers/ The agenda/ No propaganda/ For the true at heart/ The masses will succumb/ To Hideous motives/ How sad/ They cannot control/ Their own damn thoughts/ Can purity help?/ Speaking so blunt/ Speaking one's heart/ To make another agree/ Absent that trickery/ Mental revolution/ Against the oppressors/ Of money and politics/ The selfish goal oriented/ Self-righteous/ A thriving desire/ To break other's restraints/ For love of another/ As they are/ One’s true brother

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  Avalanching eyelids after a restless day in Iowa and a caffiene daydream in the driveway./ fade away standing in place and watch the autism get violent./ don't interfere cuz it's inhumane./ you know the committee says so./ human waste permeates through this space and the eyelids are avalanching./ don't interfere cuz it's inhumane./ you know the committee says so.

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  Under the ledge/ the rain nicks my face/ it splashes on my shoes/ and on my pant legs/ the thunder commands respect/ and this summer is wet/ the third wettest/ since the first record/ rain falls hard/ and steady and torrential/ and here I worship/ this recurring downfall/ water falls from the sky/ trees grow towards the sun/ trees grow into the sky/ water falls from under the sun/ my cigarette burns wet/ it's dark all around/ to speak with the thunder/ is such a stunning emphasis/ talking to no one/ they're all in the house/ down on knees in a puddle/ I worship a bumper/ my cigarette burns wet/ the summer sky/ hasn't been dry/ in a very long time

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  Nine lives and never one to succumb

  Or neglect to offer his love

  Ready for anything- riding the fire

  Master of city, suburban sprawl, and deep woods

  A feline creature of the night

  Nuisance to the superstitious

  Black fur hides him from the owl

  Anti-social attention whore

  To me he means everything

  Evil counterpart- he works for me

  So I must work for him

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  misunderstood me

  my mind molests magic, yes

  no one understands

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  Nothing/ Really… vacant/ Absolute nothingness/ Not black, not white, not anything/ Something

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  Corn on the macabre/ Torture and death/ Demons and evil/ Corn on the macabre/ Possession and poltergeists/ Spirits and a pentacle/ Corn on the macabre/ Make pretend vampires/ Undead basements/ Corn on the macabre/ Obsession with irrelevance/ Gothic fashion/ Corn on the macabre

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  What's the reason?/ These peoples love coke/ What's the deal/ With dumb girls and coke?/ How do we inhale/ Chemical coca snowflakes?/ And go up/ And go down/ Up and down down/ Up and down down/ And down/ And down/ And maybe up again/ With a little side adrenaline/ Fat chance/ Excitement be scarce/ Then it’s only blowing/ Hopelessness showing/ It’s only really nice/ While it’s going in your nose/ Before it numbs your throat/ Before your friends/ Develop explosive tempers/ Before you can’t wake up/ What's the attraction?/ Help you get action?/ Maybe look attractive?/ it’s not enough fun/ to warrant this love/ something's out of place here/ It’s not my problem/ I’m the only one here who cares

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  ignorance and rap are responsible,/ for making your little mind so volatile/ so violent, so cool, all the bitches,/ are in love with you/ just a pimp, just a thug,/ you’re just a scrawny little punk/ a tool and a termite doing your job,/ consuming an image,/ cool fucking cool/ you are a fish in a school,/ with no idea,/ what’s being done to you/ god you’re fucking hostile/ get away from me/ don’t want to be around you/ you’re giving me the creeps/ you need to look in a mirror,/ and notice your skin color/ learn your place in this world,/ in school on daddy’s dollar/ stop writing those checks,/ the ones your ass can’t cash/ and stay away from me,/ i've zero respect for you/ you’re not a thug/ you’re not hard/ you’re a student and you’re soft/ you’ve no street credit/ you’ve just left the nest/ you’re still under a wing/ your poor little mind so hostile/ your eyes so misinformed/ your heart so full of confusion/ your purpose to conform

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  New Year’s Eve Again/ New Year’s Eve Is Not My Friend/ That, This, Bullshit Day/ When The Last Year Ends/ I Resent Today/ I Repent On This Day/ And Say Goodbye In A Way/ To What Could Have Been/ And Goodbye To What Was/ Or Everything Or Nothing/ Or It’s Just Another Day/ Where From Afar I Observe/ Other’s Jubilation/ Just Like Any Other Day/ I Detest The New Year/ FUCK YOU 2005!/ FUCK YOU 2004!/ FUCK THE FUTURE!/ FUCK THE PAST!/ FUCK New Year’s Eve!/ it can kiss my ass

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  Culture shock flavor/ The way we differ/ Unrelenting discrimination/ All people/ One nation/ When California met farmers/ Rebel's trouble with daughters/ Color skin down the road/ Causing problems/ Up the road/ Bitter sweet/ Ugly taste/ Can’t find peace/ This hatred erase/ Love each other/ Dumb fuckers/ Ignorance supporters/ Love me/ For I care/ For you/ Not that/ I want to/ Cannot help it/ Go along with it

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  Nature channel tv/ Can set your mind free/ I know/ You’re chained to a box/ It's the paper clip/ To pick the locks/ Why watch a sitcom?/ Bullshit industries/ Surviving on you/ Surviving on you/ The spending you do/ Consume yo/ Consume yo/ We don't have to creep/ Off of a couch/ To get sleep/ If ever you’ve wanted/ To love an angel/ A swimming whale/ Straining a meal/ Better/ Better/ Better still/ Fish in a river/ An Eskimo shiver/ The beauty here/ Won’t be found/ Over there/ Nature channel tv/ Nature channel tv/ Set your mind free/ Nature channel tv/ Set your mind free/ Nature channel tv

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  Not doin nuthin for nobody/ It's a lot easier this way/ Ignore everybody/ Until I get away/ Everyone wants something/ And I got nuthin/ Nothing to give away/ To people these dayz/ Not even my mother/ Oh god do I love her/ I wish I could help her/ But I can’t help myself/ So estranged from family/ I’d rather not face them/ Cuz we both know it’s hopeless/ I appear tasteless/ They appear faceless/ They know I wanna get away/ From them, this, today/ any way shape or style/ It’s gonna be a while/ Numbers don't get dialed/ I do nothing no more/ No access/ To life ore/ How long will I do this for/ Marination cant baste my core/ I can hold out for a while/ Take less and less/ For a while/ Until I take nothing away/ From anyone's day/ so they don't come to me/ And they all go away

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  A litter of critters/ crawls towards daylight/ from out of their hole/ never seen anything/ and rather unaware/ a day goes by/ fewer critters exist/ then had existed an earlier day/ the dead, gone, victims, food/ re
maining critters eat/ grow, defecate/ some die/ few critters left/ months pass/ another dies/ a couple still exist/ nowhere near one another/ in the same region/ one critter has a litter/ another spreads its seed/ the mother feasts on her offspring/ the rest of her litter/ crawls toward daylight

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  Harmony/ Not/ This is not harmonious/ Those horses on a prairie/ Trapped/ That is harmony/ To be harmonious/ To exist like bliss/ Could I dare?/ Is it still possible?/ Can I catch the pitch?/ Amidst these days/ In which we exist/ Is there still/ Relative energy/ For everyone to grasp/ Or did we manage/ To destroy that as well?/ Why not harmonious?/ Do we let them/ Take that from us?/ It will be harmonious/ Regardless/ This is/ Not/ Harmony

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  hey you/ ME?/ yeah, you/ it’s yourself/ get ahold of me/ cuz ur fuckin losin' it/ remember that/ outside of your head/ there is a fucking world/ they don't take kindly/ to a space cadet like us/ so fix the fucking problem/ fix our fucking dreams/ fix our fucking emotions/ and don't say/ I didn't warn you

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  The Meta-Physics of Kitty Litter

  Before I introduce you to the cast of characters and before I get into the topic I am here to discuss, let me first express something about my attitude towards this piece: I didn't want to write the damned thing. From the very beginning of the matter at hand I knew there would eventually grow, from the specific interactions of these characters, a story. From the very beginning I knew it would end badly. I didn't know how, but I knew. The entire time I hoped certain parties would come to their senses and realize when the matter had been pushed too far. Every moment throughout I hoped and hoped the driving force behind this karmic imbalance would cease and desist. I wondered upon wonders how the object of objectionable objection could seemingly make a situation so much worse by ignoring it. Every moment of every day, as I witnessed this go on, I slowly realized nothing would get better. There was a vortex of negativity created by the meeting of an unstoppable force and an immovable object. From a very early point I realized things could only get worse. And I knew eventually I would have to document these events, regardless of how little I wanted to. And in this sense I relate to the Object of our story; ever forced into modes of life he, given a choice, would object to.

  Meet the Object. Call him Six. He may or may not be myself. Basically Six is a man with a girlfriend and a cat and an obsessive compulsive revulsion toward anything resembling an authority figure or a command. He is of strong mind and of strong will to impose no will upon others, the same as he would have no will imposed upon himself.

  Meet our leading lady. She is Seven. Seven is the girlfriend of Six. Seven is a girl who often tries to communicate the mentality of others to Six; a girl who tries to explain things through the eyes of the others. While she may occasionally excel at this task, it is through Six's eyes she has the toughest time seeing. Seven is the ever helpful, ever compliant, ever loving, crutch with which a crippled Six uses to walk; metaphorically speaking.

  Six and Seven have a cat who is more like a person, but not like a child. His name is Psycho. Certainly, one could argue, I could argue, Psycho has more personality than certain cast members (Four). Of course he is a fluffy black cat and the old superstitions abounding are the best way to distinguish the nature of this feline. He possesses the ability to solve problems. He is intuitive and vindictive. He is loyal and loving to Six and Seven; sharing in all Six's opinions and attitudes.

  On the other side of the fence, or the hallway as it were, we have the other two main characters within. Firstly, an antagonist. Secondly, the other, who is semi-removed and trying to stay sane while silently controlling the actions of the antagonist.

  Five is the longtime friend of Six. She has always been there for him and their relationship is closer to that of a brother and sister. Five opened her home to Six and Seven. She is genuinely friendly but has a tendency to experience bad moods or to be affected and influenced by the energy around her. Therefore, outer disharmony causes Five inner disharmony.

  I will introduce Four by his positive characteristics because there is no way I will present him in such a light later on. Four is married to Five. He is friendly and nice. He likes music. He is in a band for which he plays the bass guitar. Like typical Americans, he places too high of a value on rational science and like a typical Virgo he lacks the ability to think outside the box. He appears to have no problem with forcing his will upon others; ever righteous. Four was born one month and one day after Six.

  Lastly is the second cat, Patch. Regarded by Six as not much more than a mutilated bastard. He is grey and fat and neutered. You could call Patch a wiener cat because he has tiny little legs- really his only endearing quality. That and wide eyes that reflect the atmosphere. This cat belongs to nobody. He was left behind in the custody of Four and Five, effectively making him their cat.

  Before Psycho moved into this home a couple months prior with his two keepers, he was always, ALWAYS, an indoor/outdoor cat. From the streets of downtown Providence to the woods of North Eastern Connecticut, Psycho proved over and over that he could handle himself. Six attributes this ability to survive in the world to the fact that he is not neutered. It used to be Psycho refused to stay indoors and would make Six's life hell if he was not allowed outdoors. As such Six never used any kitty litter box with Psycho. He kept one around but it always remained unused as Psycho only expelled waste outdoors. Upon moving into this house with Patch he of course became acquainted with the outdoors of the new home. Then over a short while Psycho went out less and less until he did not go out at all. Perhaps the temperature of a South Dakota winter proved too cold for Psycho and that was the reason why he stayed indoors more. However, Six suspected that since Patch stayed indoors Psycho no longer found it necessary to go out like he used to. Maybe all that time Psycho was only looking for some company he could relate to. Whatever the case, the original claim, "Psycho doesn't even use kitty litter," was no longer true.

  The setting at this point is in the basement of the house that belongs to Five, and through marriage, Four. Five is 24 years old and Four is 22. In the basement there are two kitty litter messes. The first is something like half a garment box filled with poo strewn ceder litter as well as surrounded by splashes of kicked away litter on the concrete. The other kitty litter mess is contained in Patch's enclosed litter box; where the poo has piled up.

  Once upon a time Six lived with a girl he hardly knew and who he didn't really like all that much. She was boring and stupid and dull. Or normal. Whichever. They were in a third floor, two bedroom apartment. In a closet in the bathroom there was a kitty litter box open and exposed. The closet door stayed cracked for the cat to have access to the box. The box was visible from where one sat on the toilet. Really, it was the only other thing to look at other than the wallpaper. And look at it Six did. Every time he used the toilet- for months and months- he stared at that litter box wondering when his roommate would change it. The cat didn't seem to mind. The litter box was still a litter box regardless of how neglected it may have been. Dried poo and solidified pee was the same as litter, really. Six said nothing about this issue. It wasn't his cat. He didn't have a cat then. So, while this neglect was rather disgusting, he ignored it because when and how often she changed the cat litter was none of his business. During the seven months Six had lived with that girl in the two bedroom place, she changed the litter box only twice. Thus in Six's mind a standard of litter box maintenance was developed.

  Six didn't often go into the basement. The litter box was out of sight and out of mind. That is not to say he wouldn't have cleaned the thing eventually. But Four and Five were down there, all the time, doing laundry and smelling the box. One day Five told Six to clean the litter box. She didn't ask the household collectively if somebody would clean it. She told Six to do the job.

  Understand, Six is a creature of strict habit. Mostly this habit consists of bed ridden agoraphobia. Thus he r
elies on Seven to handle his worldly responsibilities. He would not say this is the right way to live. It is his way though. The only things he deems worth doing are, the only thing is, actually, writing. And since there is no way to escape keeping a job, he does that as well. Everything else is Seven's problem. He is not lazy, but he does work on his own schedule, and when demanded to do something, a certain performance anxiety kicks in and he feels made small by acquiescing someone else's will. This is tied into what could be called a ‘daddy issue,’ and also the result of an eternity of self-depreciative thinking. Whatever the case, Five's demand did not change the fact that Six rarely leaves his bed when he doesn't have to work and would not be going to the basement any time soon.

  One weekend Four and Five left to go visit some people they knew in some other area of the state. Upon returning the couple claimed to have stated before leaving that the litter box had better be clean upon their return. He knew Five had said something about the issue before they left but Six missed the severity.

  It was the middle of the night when they returned from their trip. Four's band was practicing in the basement and the litter box mess was still unchanged. Four knocked on the Six's door and said that Six better get out of bed and clean the litter box. Not only did Six view this as disrespectful, but when put into the context of his psychological disabilities this was a huge incongruity. There was no way Six was about to get out of bed and walk pass an entire band worth of others and perform this subservient task. Four returned to bang on the door and warn Six that if the demands were not met then there would be problems. Six responded with some form of "so be it." At this point, a completely drunk, yet sleeping, Seven got out of bed to perform damage control. She would do the task to prevent the issue from jumping out of hand. Good, Six thought and went back to sleep.

  In the morning, at around 8 am, there were doors being slammed and stomping happening on the stairs. Six was awake for this and watching some kind of video on the internet, trying his best to ignore the overemotional nonsense. Four opened Six's door and dropped the garment box of litter on his floor, slamming the door behind him, only to repeat this sequence with the other litter box. Hostility seethed through the ether. Seven was up and about and Six had her get a garbage bag from the kitchen for him. After a short time he put the litter and cardboard box into the bag and slid the plastic litter box across the room. Seven took the garbage bag outdoors and removed the litter box as well. All of this seemed a minimal victory to Six. Instead of his submission to somebody’s demands; everybody took part in the cleaning of the litter box. After all, one of those cats was Four and Five's responsibility. Later on Five informed Six that she wouldn't let Seven clean the litterbox when she had tried the night before. Seven, having been so drunk, didn't even remember saying she would do the task or attempting it. Some people needed to stop making his life difficult. And some people needed to relax. Sadly, some people don't realize what is going on around them.

  Six is not one of those people. He knew enough to know- from having a father who would stomp around the house bitching- that whatever the issue was, it was going to get worse before it got better. When too much emotion is put into something meaningless and trivial, the meaningless and trivial becomes meaningful and important to those that have made the mistake of caring. But only to those people. As such, Six was not about to care about the fiasco. He resolved to let Four fight a one man battle. At the very least he knew he had a few weeks until the issue would come up again and by then he could have Seven take care of it. Meanwhile, Four's entire masculinity and the validity of his ego had been fused into the kitty litter box. Four's lack of self-control would never be enough to make Six change his standard of living. His standard that would not let someone else's lack of judgment effect his affect. If Six adjusted his way of life every time somebody else was imbalanced he would never find inner harmony again. However, the harmony surrounding him could possibly become more harmonious. It is always easier to change yourself than to change the world. That notion is the unconscious decision his stubbornness stems from; nothing was going to make Six care about something that mattered so little.

  Nonetheless, the dust had settled.

  It was the calm before the storm.

  The assumed few weeks until the issue came up again was over two weeks ahead of schedule. One week later Four was cleaning and reorganizing the basement. Perhaps it was the layer of ceder litter he must have swept up that reignited Four's passion or perhaps he had been stewing over the matter all day and night for that entire week. Either way, while Six was typing on a computer sitting on the couch in the living room, Four carried the litter box up by it's handle from the basement and put it into the spare room across from the bathroom in the house's one hallway. The damned litter box again, Six thought. Let it go, Six thought.

  A moment later Four came to Six's side holding a calendar. "I'm making a calendar. We are each going to rotate days cleaning the litter box. Every day. When we get rid of Patch you and Seven can clean it every other day. If it doesn't get cleaned, I am going to kill both the cats."

  Emotions and thoughts flooded through Six. His eye twitched and tears almost welled at the thought of anything bad happening to his cat. Hate became real. It was sad. Four used to be a good person but he had opened a rift that on some level Six knew would never close again. That was it; Four had ruined everything. No more happy home life. More so than that, Six knew this calendar was a horrible idea. Who cleaned their litter box every day? Six said nothing. He stared blankly trying to process this. His aversion to all things authoritarian set in. Four was giving him a schedule to live by. Six's home was supposed to be a place where the day by day demands of the world dissolved at the door. Leave it to the Virgo to try and structure his life. Six knew things would only get worse from that moment on. And at the moment Six thought that maybe he could try and forgive Four for the threat against Psycho; Four went and repeated himself, "I'm not fucking around, I'll kill the cats." More tears threatened Six's demeanor and he said back, calmly and straightforward, "Don't ever touch my cat." It was the only warning he had to give. After all, this was Four's mistake, not his.

  This was not the way to handle cat litter. If Four had a problem with the cat litter, he should keep it to himself and silently let the resent accumulate. If he valued peace, that is. Apparently peace did not matter to Four. He was proving his resolve to himself and to Five and it was beyond Six now. All Six knew was that nothing was going to make him care this much about cat litter.

  Of course Six's name was the first day on the calendar system. An opportune moment arose when nobody was home and he was out of bed, so he cleaned out the litter box on that day. That was the first cleaning since the last so there was a substantial quantity of waste. All the mess he scooped out of the litter box he put into the toilet and flushed it down. The odd grey chemical this litter was made of turned to mush inside the toilet and essentially broke it. The toilet clogged, couldn't swallow, and Six ended up plunging and snaking with a coat hanger and picking away in the frigid water with his bare hands. None of this fixed the toilet immediately. It would seem to be fixed for a short while and then become unable to flush properly again. Later, Seven told him what he had already learned the hard way, "You can't flush kitty litter down the toilet." Great. All well and good. But the toilet didn't clog because Six hadn't realized what he was doing. No. The toilet clogged because the litter box had become possessed with what ancient people might call ‘evil spirits;’ too much negativity concentrated into a single point in the universe. It would be remiss to try and make this effect linear; something Four would do. Even Seven was reluctant to admit or believe anything more than stupidity was afoot in the breaking of the toilet. Six knew it was of extreme karmic importance to fix the toilet and he purchased some liquid that did that job.

  On the flip side of the toilet incident, Six knew that this whole charade was too against his grain. He also knew that there was no way for the situation to improve o
n any time frame of his creation or by any intervening of his willful hand. He knew it was just going to get worse. It was never in his nature to submit to anything and submission is what this dogmatic calendar fiasco entailed.

  The calendar was fundamentally flawed, yet Four had more faith in it than he could handle.

  Six's next day on the calendar arrived. He spent this day in the spare room, with the litter box, writing. At one point he considered doing the cleaning. He decided on maybe later and never performed the task.

  Like clockwork, the next day, Four asked him if he had cleaned the box. Six had just awoken and walked out into the living room. On one couch on the left sat Five and on the other couch on the right sat Four. Six answered reluctantly, "Yes."

  Six is a terrible liar however and has a completely obvious tell. When lying, Six smiles and averts his eyes to anything other than the person he is lying to. At least when the lies are unimportant. And if anything was ever unimportant it was this. Four interrogated him; "When did you clean? Why was it dirty when I cleaned it today? I'll let it slide this time. Just tell me you didn't clean it."

  "I cleaned when I was writing in there last night. It was dirty when you cleaned it today because I cleaned it in the morning. Yeah. Er. I assure you; I cleaned it."

  More or less Six averted Four's attention away from the issue and towards the matter of Four's band. The band being desperately in need of a singer, and Six desperately wanting to sing in a band. They went downstairs and started recording some vocals. Six stopped thinking about the cat box immediately and eventually Four stopped thinking about it, too. Except this was much more difficult for Four because his ego was so wrapped up in the matter. Nobody in their right mind could be this concerned with cat litter. But they ended up enjoying themselves playing with the music.

  That night Six went to his overnight job at the special people house where he received a call from Seven about how pissed off Four was. Seven had never seen Four this pissed off. All because Six had lied to him. Six never being much for lying really didn't care that the act had upset Four. Everyone was so concerned about what Four thought and felt and said and did. No one cared that the awkwardness of the situation had caused Six to lie about something that shouldn't have been lied about. Lie about something to his friends. It shouldn’t have come down to that. The spirit of the cat litter had possessed Six then, too. The whirlwind had taken shape. The litterbox was destroying stability and creating chaos. For the rest of the night Six sat awake and alone at work while everyone slept and he tried to forget about Four's bleeding vagina; the asshole had gotten kitty litter up in it.

  When Six arrived home the next morning he tried to explain the meta-physics of kitty litter to Seven. She maintained that if Six had just done what he was told this would have never happened. Killing in the Name of by Rage Against the Machine came to mind. In case you don't know, the song ends with a chant of "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me." From when Six was 12 to 14 years old he listened to that song about 1 to 9 times every day. Every day of every week of every month of those years. Doing as he was told was exactly the problem here. It was exactly the problem from Five's initial demand. Why was it Six's responsibility to stroke and calm Four anyhow? Seven wasn't understanding the energy that was trapped inside the litter box and wreaking havoc on the household. Did she ever learn anything from dating him? Why had he spent the last year teaching her about ether, polarity, harmony, astrology, manifesting, and the golden light, and whatever else, if she was never going to apply it to her life? Had she learned anything? Did Six even know anything worth teaching?

  He decided to draw a diagram for her. She said he was making a big deal about nothing.

  The diagram basically explained everything that has been written up until this point. Although much more vaguely. There was a vortex drawn on the diagram around the narrowing list of words and phrases that were connected by lines representing the interaction of the different energies. It was stated that Four needed to lighten up. Six needed to compromise. That solution would work. The calendar would work if it were made optional (this last statement was never made to anybody, it was not written, and communication broke down before the idea occurred to him). It was even suggested that they buy an automatic cat box as seen on TV.

  When he presented the notion to Five she said he was over thinking it; like he does with everything. Five said that this was all Six's fault because he can't take care of his cat. An unfair statement because he feeds and waters both cats every day; he is the only person to do that. Who cares about what comes out the other end? Cats don't need a clean litter box to survive. Six claimed everybody was under thinking it. Five said that she had never seen Four so mad and called Six a drama queen for making a diagram. Apparently Four must have stated he had "never been so mad" because both girls had reported it. Six is a Leo. Of course he's dramatic, what else is new? He was frustrated that nobody would ever understand the cat box vortex the way he did. While urinating in the bathroom it occurred to him that he was not the drama queen this time. For once. Going back to where Five lay in bed with her door open, he pointed a finger at her and said, "I am not the drama queen here. Your fucking husband is. He's got kitty litter in his vagina." Then Six went into his room and fell asleep. His usual sleeplessness shattered by unhappiness and the lack of useful discourse. Apparently misery was the best sleep aide. No wonder he was never awake until he had moved to South Dakota.

  But that short lived period of contentment was over for good.

  Later on that day, after waking, Six learned that Four had traveled half the state over to Pierre to stay with his friend. Fucking girl, Six thought. The only comparison to the situation he could make was when a girl gets mad and goes to stay with her sister. Six was quick to point that out to Seven.

  While Four was gone, his sister oddly came to stay for a while. Bringing with her an industrial sized box of cat treats. Six could not exactly place the significance of these treats. Such is chaos; strange attraction.

  Eventually Four came back and subtly avoided Six. Six was resolute not to alter his manner of life in any way. Though it could be said Six ignored Four as well because Six ignores everything at all times. That is why he has a Seven.

  Eventually the object and the force were in the same room and talked again about some stuff that didn't matter. Never once bringing the subject up or acknowledging the diagram that was hung on the calendar.

  It was Six's turn to clean the box again and he did it early in the morning when he got home from his last day of work before the weekend. Then he stayed in his room like he would do any other time; watching movies, sleeping, and reading; having Seven bring him things like food or CD's from the outside world.

  At some point on Saturday night Seven left the bedroom to smoke a cigarette before going to sleep. She ended up drinking and singing songs with the band in the basement. To say the least, this irked Six, but he got over it. Then Seven came back to bed crying, "Five told me Four is going to get rid of the cats because we don't clean the litter."

  Six was not mad about this. He was fed up with Four's bullshit, perhaps in much the same way as Four was fed up with his own delusions of how things should be. ‘A Virgo's need for cleanliness and order is an obsession and they should consider therapy’ (R. MacDonald 2004). Moreover, dried and forgotten cat poop doesn't smell. What Four was always smelling was the fresh cat shit of which there would always be more no matter how often the box was cleaned. "It's ok, baby. We'll just get our own place," he said, completely unsurprised that it had come to that. Six didn't want to live with somebody who acted like Four anyhow.

  A sad thing that Six could no longer approve of the guy Five had married.

  He coaxed Seven through her concerns and into sleep. Then he too fell asleep.

  The next morning in some jumbled sort of eavesdropping/ information gathering as well as being informed by Seven, Six learned that Five was upset with Four because he had lied to her about something stupid li
ke the exact times he'd be going to and returning from work. And something about how Four'd been playing music late at night. Six didn't know what it all meant but he did know it wasn't that big of a deal because other than being a leftfield dickhead Four was as innocent as a virgin. The moral is that Five was pissed at Six because he was somehow causing her to have problems with Four. This was a beautiful vindication to Six. Usually it was Six and Seven who argued and fought. But the new circumstance had brought them closer together and Four and Five were having problems. Five's blaming of this on Six was a manifestation of her awareness that Six was influencing the household. Six saw this much differently because all he was guilty of was ignoring the problem that he viewed as a stupid waste of time and energy. And the while he hid away and said nothing, those who were saying things had voiced thoughts and feelings that gathered and festered amongst themselves like an angry mob with no one to lynch. As he ignored the problem and stayed away from the others Four had been caught lying about something. Once again, not Six's problem. It was, however, another manifestation of the negative energy of the litter box consuming everyone.

  Aside the point, some pesty member of the band had the nerve to utter the words "litter box"; Six overheard. How could nobody see the problem with someone who doesn't even live in the house talking about the litter box? Was nothing sacred?

  The unpleasantries disturbing Four and Five's lives were vindicating to Six because they were a karmic indication that Six was not in the wrong. The shoe was on the wrong foot.

  Things had gone too far and Four and Five would continue to experience the negativity they had brought upon themselves. It would radiate from and permeate through their lives and probably cause other problems which they may not be able to recover from. At that stage their wellbeing will probably in some way fall into the hands of Six and Seven, though they will be across town and probably reclusive. Six will greet that situation with an open mind but it will most likely be more subtle and under the surface than up front and tangible.

  The only thing left to be done is for Six and Seven to pack up their things and move away. It is still to be decided what the fate of Patch will be. He is not a member of a family like Psycho. Both couples need to move on as respective families, not as cat adopting saviors. Six doesn't even like Patch. He only feels a little bad for him because nobody cares about him. Psycho however does like Patch. Sadly, Patch will probably be left behind to the mercy of Four and Five.

  Six had been trying to escape this bad magic since it first appeared in his life. This has been the tale of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. The object moves on its own accord and the force becomes nullified. The force only existed because of the object. It is the sound of one hand clapping and the sound of a tree falling with nobody around to hear it. Maybe this is why people ignore kitty litter in the first place.

  Postscript:

  Patch was eventually given to Four's sister where he lives happily with a stable family for the first time in his life.

  Four's band fell apart with the moving away of the guitarist. Four and Five got another roommate to fill the empty slot in their home. Two months later, their 7 month long marriage failed and the two separated.

  Six and Seven found a one bedroom apartment across town and purchased completely new pet supplies for Psycho; leaving the tainted pet supplies to be forgotten in the past where they belong.

  Psycho since became more of an indoor cat. However, the winter is not yet over.

  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

  Anthropomorphizing Pets

  Pet ownership is a bond older than history records. People enjoy living fulfilling lives and sharing the experience with animal companions. What often gets overlooked is, when an animal becomes a pet the animal moves from one syntax to a different syntax; a human syntax. Always fed the same food. Lighting and freedom come on a schedule, every day. Sanitation and health is contingent on others, or hopeless. The human experience at its worst. Also; the animal experience at its worst vis a vis human involvement. Since time immemorial. While we may sleep the same hours as our dogs, and enjoy the same activities as they do, there are several ways in which we can enrich the lives of our friends even further than the relationship naturally dictates. There is a little something more to do for pets. When we begin to pay attention to the biorhythms of our animals, we can better regulate their physiological and emotional cycles.

  While, perhaps, a veterinarian habitually refrains from anthropomorphizing animals to cope better, pet owners would be wise to do the opposite; to regard our animals as though they are exactly the same as we are. The golden rule, "Do unto animals as you would have them do unto you..." is a path leading toward harmonious pet ownership.

  Something as simple as leaving a light on can promote positive emotions and experiences for animals the same way as in humans. This is especially important during temperate winters when there may only be six hours of sunlight. Absence of light can have a direct effect on the proper functioning of bio-electricity. Excessive darkness causes an increase in the production of melatonin; a mechanism of feelings and sleep. Darkness promotes secretion of melatonin from the pineal gland; in animals just as in humans, and melatonin can cause the animal to feel low. Since we want them to be happy, because of their human schedules, dogs should have as much access to sunlight as possible.

  Bio rhythms support the abilities to predict, anticipate, and prepare, and hence, are essential to animal wellbeing. Paying attention to biorhythms is an essential way to ensure we provide a natural benefit to an animal living in environments that can at times be unnatural; their very homes.

  The science of biorhythms is called chronobiology. Chronobiology is biorhythm studies conducted by a traditional scientist and not a meta-physicist. The difference means chronobiology produces more data and less advice.

  The scientists seem to focus their efforts toward determining and documenting the spans of biorhythmic cycles in mostly wild animals and people, or anything else that is alive. Therefore it becomes the duty of holistic animal health practitioners to recognize biorhythmic incongruities in pets and attempt to correct them.

  Animal chiropractors are invaluable to a happy and well cared for pet. Spinal columns and brain stems are bio-electric hubs, therefore minute alterations can have powerful effects in altering dysfunctional health cycles. Owner attention to such needs as bone adjustments also marks a welled cared for animal. Really, the best way to look after an animal’s bones, joints, ligaments, etc., is by providing a good diet and plenty of exercise.

  The most commonly used method of charting biorhythms is the sinusoidal waveform, which represents the flux of a bio-electric current over time.

  We process all kinds of waves in all kinds of ways at all times. This article will mostly pertain to brainwaves and their relationship to consciousness. This simple waveform diagram can doubly express a good way to understand a major biorhythm; life and death.

  First we must consider the range of our pet’s experiences on a chart from -100 to 0 to +100. Negative 100 can mean the animal is asleep. Zero can mean the animal is comfortable and content. Therefore our main focus concerning our pet’s welfare will be their activities taking place between 1 and 100. The purpose is to achieve a higher quality of life for them thus a higher quality of sleep, balancing the equation by instilling health and wellbeing.

  Certain animals require certain environments for proper contentment, and in dogs and cats this notion is very much breed specific. Dogs that need to run around a lot will chew on furniture if unable to do so. Since chewing on furniture is counterproductive to harmonious pet relations, the situation can be balanced with a generous helping of chew toys. Most scratching cats just want attention. They want their equation balanced in one way or another. Here is a good place to stress the importance of expertly knowing the abstract needs of an individual pet as well as possible.

  The importance of adequate canine interaction is displayed i
n the growing popularity of 'doggy day cares,' where your dog can play with my dog and hide from the mean dog, and so on and so forth. As pack animals, dogs need companionship and stimulation. When they are not given outlets for their natural charge then their quality of life lessons and their ability to reach 100 on the waveform chart will be inhibited, slowly and surely. Maybe an under-stimulated dog can only reach 95 on the chart; uniformly that dog will no longer reach -100 in their sleep. And once the quality of sleep begins to decrease, so too will the health of the animal.

  What is worth explaining is that sleep cycle biorhythms are the negative charges of being awake, and furthermore of being alive; Alpha, Beta, Theta, and Delta brainwaves refer to this subject. The positive charges(beta waves) of a life are the moments when the creature is most alive; mating, hunting, or grazing, etc. The neutral charges(alpha waves) would account for the other third of this equation such as periods of relaxation or down time. Theta and delta waves can represent sleep; these negative charges are the natural mechanism with which a grand equation stays balanced. For life to sustain itself through the corrosive nature of this planet, it sleeps. During sleep, the life form regenerates physiologically.

  'Lower' life forms sleep in cycles proportionate to their physical impact on the world at large and the world's impact on them. Generally, 'higher' animals fall into one of several chronotypes; diurnal- active in day, nocturnal- active at night, or crepuscular- active at dusk and dawn, like cats. A single celled organism with little permanence has hardly any reason to sleep because they are not designed for longevity.

  From the evolutionary starting lineup through the higher levels of 'organism sophistication,' the duel charges of life and consciousness become more obvious and as such display a greater tendency for sleep. If something wants to live for an extended span of time, the organism is going to have to sleep. Then, toward the end of natural life, the organism neutralizes, the charges flux thins to maybe around -1 to 1, and when the organism dies the charge disappears altogether(or does it?).

  A vital point to remember is that we are dealing with life cycles. Animals are accustom to the Earth and the Earth is accustomed to the Sun and Moon. Cycles, cycles, and more cycles. For us to better understand animals, so too should we be conscious of the Sun and Moon.

  Circadian rhythms pertain to the 24 hour cycle of the sun. Lunar cycles are controlled by the phase of the moon and last 24.8 hours. Tidal rhythms apply mostly to oceanic affairs which affect about 70% of the world and last approximately 12.4 hours. Circa-annual biorhythms last for 12 months and control the seasons as well as the seasons of our lives, and subsequently the seasons of our pet’s lives.

  Chinese astrology organizes the annual cycle of seasons by a correlation with the elements; wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. Wood is spring, fire is summer, earth is late summer, metal is the autumn, and water is the winter. Systems like this are a good way to remind ourselves that there are reasons fur coats grow and shed and that we should be considerate of a pet's changing needs over each year, and, inadvertently, the way a pet’s needs change as they grow old and begin losing their charge.

  The animal kingdom is the place where an animal’s various biological clocks can exist in harmony with their surroundings. The human kingdom is a place where biological clocks synchronize to human schedules. Luckily, most biological clocks are self-sustaining and require only minor environmental cues to stay accurate. Even a dog in space will take a nap. De-worming is done in cycles. A familiar scent will comfort a cat stressing about an abrupt change in its cycles. Awareness of pet biorhythms is a way to feel, more acutely, our pet’s needs while reminding us that animals are people, too.

  As pet owners we take on a responsibility to provide the highest manner of care for the animal. A life in captivity isn't as natural as we might think, however loving, and the experience will feel alien without proper communication and respect. If animals could be humanized, anthropomorphized, they could benefit from our wealth of respect for human life, and all we need to do to achieve this is apply that same standard of living to animals. Together, as one culture, we can cease to tolerate animal cruelty in the same way we would not tolerate violations of civil liberties. Maybe we will all become vegetarians.

  --------------------

  WRITER’S CUT:

  Fixed animals are always confused. These pets can never be of sound mind. Furthermore, the life of house pets parallels the life of inmates. We don't castrate sex offenders. By fixing animals we slap our pet in the face the moment he enters a household. We are too self-centered to let animals be free.

  In species that experience estrus, females are generally only receptive to copulation while they are in heat. Not saying to stop spaying or neutering animals. I'm saying that if you choose to chop them up, don't expect to have a balanced and rhythmic animal. You'll get what you get with a mutilated person; damaged goods. Yah made the pet right, you'll make the pet wrong. And the animal will return the respect you've shown it.

  The unsubstantiated accusation that biorhythms are not a part of chronobiology is absurd. They are the exact same thing.

  The only difference between biorhythmic studies and chronobiology is that biorhythmic study focuses on the physiological, emotional, intellectual processes, as well as the forecasting of the future behaviors of said processes; whereas chronobiology only recognizes such relations between external forces and internal processes exist, but makes no attempt to utilize the information.

  What do the biorhythms of house pets look like? The answer to that is traditional astrology.

  Birth time and place. Is it so radical, when we are all products of our environment, to presume the time and place of a birth is of significance? Biorhythms, bio-electric cycles, are the mechanism by which astrology can affect every single aspect of life and the world around us.

  Not suggesting the pet owner cast an astrology chart for their cat, though many people have. I am saying animals have feelings, too, hence they love attention, so, maybe activities that shower them with a prolonged authentic human attention are a good investment of your time.

 
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