When I put my dress on the next morning, I had never felt so beautiful. The wedding bouquets had arrived at the hotel earlier—pink roses for Millie and a cascade of deep red ones for me. Jack had organised a car to take us to the registry office and when there was a knock on the door at eleven the next morning I sent Millie to answer it.
‘Tell them I’ll be out in a minute,’ I said, disappearing into the bathroom to check myself one last time in the mirror. Satisfied with what I saw, I went back into the bedroom and picked up my bouquet.
‘You look stunning.’ Startled, I looked up and saw Jack standing in the doorway. He looked so handsome in his dark suit and deep red waistcoat that my stomach flipped over. ‘Almost as beautiful as Millie, in fact.’ Next to him, Millie clapped her hands happily.
‘What are you doing here?’ I cried, anxious and delighted at the same time. ‘Has something happened?’
He came over and took me in his arms. ‘I couldn’t wait to see you, that’s all. And also, I have something for you.’ Releasing me, he put his hand in his pocket and drew out a black box. ‘I went to the bank this morning to fetch them.’ Opening the box, I saw an exquisite pearl necklace lying on a bed of black velvet with a matching pair of pearl earrings.
‘Jack, they’re beautiful!’
‘They belonged to my mother. I’d forgotten all about them until last night. I thought you might want to wear them today, which is why I came over. You don’t have to, of course.’
‘I’d love to wear them,’ I told him, lifting out the necklace and undoing the clasp.
‘Here, let me.’ He took them from me and slipped them around my neck. ‘What do you think?’
I turned towards the mirror. ‘I can’t believe how perfectly they match the dress,’ I said, fingering them. ‘They’re exactly the same shade of cream.’ I unclipped the gold earrings I was wearing and replaced them with the pearls.
‘Grace pretty, very, very pretty!’ Millie laughed.
‘I agree,’ said Jack gravely. He put his hand in his other pocket and drew out a smaller box. ‘I have something for you too, Millie.’
When Millie saw the tear-shaped pearl on the silver chain, she gave a gasp of delight. ‘Thank you, Jack,’ she said, beaming. ‘I wear it now.’
‘You’re so kind, Jack,’ I told him as I put it around Millie’s neck. ‘But did you know it’s supposed to be bad luck to see your bride on her wedding day?’
‘Well, I guess I’ll just have to take my chance,’ he smiled.
‘How’s Molly? Did she settle in all right?’
‘Perfectly. Look.’ He took his phone out of his pocket and showed Millie and me a photograph of Molly curled up asleep in her basket.
‘So the floor has tiles,’ I mused. ‘At least I know one thing about my future home.’
‘And that’s all you’re going to know,’ he said, pocketing his phone. ‘Now, shall we go? The chauffeur was surprised enough when I asked him to pick me up on the way to collect you, so if we don’t go out soon he might think I’ve come to call the whole thing off.’ After offering me and Millie an arm each, he escorted us down to the car and we set off for the registry office.
When we arrived, everyone was there waiting for us, including my parents. They had all but boxed up their house in preparation for their move to New Zealand and were set to leave a fortnight after we got back from our honeymoon. I’d been a bit surprised when they’d told me they were leaving so soon, but when I thought about it, they’d waited a long sixteen years. The previous week, Jack and I had met them for dinner, where they had officially signed Millie over to us, which meant that we were now her legal guardians. All of us were delighted by this arrangement and my parents, perhaps because they felt guilty about Jack shouldering the financial burden, told us that they would of course help out in any way they could. But Jack was adamant that he and I would be responsible for Millie and promised my parents that she would want for nothing.
Our guests were surprised to see Jack stepping out of the car alongside Millie and me, and as we set off up the flight of steps that led to the registry office, they teased him good-naturedly about not being able to resist riding in a Rolls-Royce. Dad was escorting me and Jack was escorting Millie and my Uncle Leonard, whom I hadn’t seen for several years, had given Mum his arm. I was almost at the top of the steps when I heard Millie cry out and, spinning round, saw her tumbling down the steps.
‘Millie!’ I screamed. By the time she came to a stop in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the steps, I was already halfway there. It seemed an age before I managed to push through the throng of people gathered around her and I knelt down beside her, not caring that my dress was getting dirty, only caring that Millie was lying there motionless.
‘It’s all right, Grace, she’s breathing,’ Adam said reassuringly, from where he crouched on the other side of her, as I searched frantically for a pulse. ‘She’ll be fine, you’ll see. Diane’s phoning for an ambulance, it’ll be here in a minute.’
‘What happened?’ I asked, my voice shaking, aware of Mum and Dad crouching down next to me. I stroked Millie’s hair back from her face, not daring to move her.
‘Grace, I’m so sorry.’ I looked up and saw Jack, his face as white as a sheet. ‘She suddenly stumbled—I think her heel got caught in the hem of her dress—and before I knew what was happening, she was falling. I tried to grab her but I couldn’t reach her.’
‘It’s all right,’ I said quickly. ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘I should have held on to her more tightly,’ he went on desperately, running his hand through his hair. ‘I should have remembered that steps aren’t always easy for her.’
‘I don’t like the way her leg is bent,’ Dad said quietly. ‘It looks as if it’s broken.’
‘Oh God,’ I moaned.
‘Look, she’s coming round.’ Mum took Millie’s hand in hers.
‘It’s all right, Millie,’ I murmured as she began to stir. ‘It’s all right.’
The ambulance arrived in minutes. I wanted to go to the hospital with her but Mum and Dad told me they would go, reminding me that I was meant to be getting married.
‘I can’t get married now,’ I sobbed, as Millie was carried into the ambulance.
‘Of course you can,’ said Mum briskly. ‘Millie’s going to be fine.’
‘She has a broken leg,’ I wept. ‘And maybe other injuries we don’t know about.’
‘I won’t blame you if you want to call it off,’ Jack said quietly.
‘It’s just that I don’t see how we can go ahead with everything when we don’t even know how badly injured Millie is.’
The paramedics were wonderful. Understanding what a difficult situation I was in, they examined Millie as thoroughly as they could in the ambulance and told me that apart from her leg there didn’t seem to be any other broken bones and that if I wanted to carry on with my wedding, they were sure my parents would keep me informed of any developments. They also pointed out that as soon as Millie arrived at the hospital, she would be whisked away for X-rays so I wouldn’t be able to stay with her anyway. Still torn, I looked over to where Jack was standing talking quietly to Adam and the look of desolation on his face decided me. I clambered into the ambulance and kissed a drowsy Millie goodbye. After promising I would go and see her the next morning, I gave my parents Jack’s mobile number, because mine was in my case, and asked them to let me know as soon as they had any news.
‘Are you sure you still want to go ahead?’ Jack asked anxiously, once the ambulance had left. ‘I don’t suppose anyone particularly feels like celebrating after what’s happened to Millie. Maybe we should wait until we know that she’s definitely going to be all right.’
I looked at our guests, who were milling about, needing to know if our wedding was still taking place or not. ‘I think they’ll be fine with it if we are.’ I turned him to face me. ‘Jack, do you still want to get married?’
‘Of course I do, more than anything. But, u
ltimately, it’s your decision.’
‘Then let’s get married. It’s what Millie would want,’ I lied, because I knew Millie wouldn’t understand why we had gone ahead and got married without her. The feeling that I was betraying her made fresh tears well in my eyes and I blinked them away quickly so that Jack wouldn’t see, hoping I’d never have to choose between him and Millie again.
Everyone was delighted that we were getting married after all and when Mum phoned a couple of hours later to tell us that Millie was fine apart from a broken leg, I felt weak with relief. I wanted to cut the reception short and go to see her that evening, but Mum said that she was sleeping soundly and, with the painkillers the doctor had given her, she wasn’t expected to wake until the following morning anyway. She added that she intended to stay at the hospital overnight, so I told her that Jack and I would stop off to see Millie the next morning, on the way to the airport.
Although I managed to enjoy myself for the rest of the evening, I was glad when the last of our guests had left and Jack and I were finally on our way to our hotel. Because Jack’s car was still in London, Moira and Giles had lent us one of theirs so that we could get to the airport the next day and back to Spring Eaton when we returned from Thailand. With a garage full of cars, they insisted that they didn’t need it and said we could drop it back whenever we had time.
When we arrived at the hotel where we were to spend our wedding night, I went straight to the bathroom and ran myself a hot bath, leaving Jack to pour himself a whisky while he waited for me. As I lay in the bath, my mind turned again and again to Millie, and I couldn’t help being glad that the day was finally over. With the water beginning to get cold, I got out and dried myself hurriedly, eager to see Jack’s face when he saw me in the cream silk camisole and knickers I’d bought specially for our wedding night. I slipped them on and, with a shiver of anticipation, opened the door and walked into the bedroom.
PRESENT
On the way home in the car from seeing Millie, I mention to Jack that I’m going to have to phone Diane sometime before Friday to tell her that I can’t make lunch with her and Esther.
‘On the contrary, I think you should go,’ he says. Because he’s said the same thing many times before I know it doesn’t mean anything. ‘After all, you’ve already cancelled twice.’ Even those words aren’t enough to get my hopes up. But on Friday morning, when he tells me to put on my prettiest dress, I can’t help wondering if the moment I’ve been waiting for has finally come. My mind races so far ahead that I have to remind myself firmly of all the other times I’ve ended up disappointed. Even when I get into the car beside Jack, I still don’t let myself believe that it might happen. But when we drive all the way into town I can’t help but believe it, and I begin to plot feverishly, terrified that I’ll let the moment slip through my fingers. It’s only when Jack parks the car in the road outside the restaurant and gets out that I realise how deluded I’ve been.
Diane and Esther are already seated. Diane waves and I make my way over, a smile hiding my bitter disappointment, conscious of Jack’s hand on my back.
‘I’m so glad you could make it,’ she says, giving me a quick hug. ‘Jack, how nice of you to come and say hello. Is it your lunch hour?’
‘I worked from home this morning,’ he says. ‘And, as I don’t have to be in the office until later this afternoon, I was hoping you’d let me gatecrash your lunch—in exchange for me treating you, of course.’
‘In that case, you can join us with pleasure,’ she laughs. ‘I’m sure it won’t be any trouble to add an extra place, especially as it’s a table for four.’
‘Except that we won’t be able to talk about you now,’ Esther jokes. As Jack purloins a chair from another table, it occurs to me that had she wanted to say anything more damaging, she wouldn’t have been able to. Not that it really matters any more.
‘I’m sure you’ve got far more interesting things to talk about than me,’ Jack smiles, placing me opposite Esther and signalling to the waitress to bring another place setting.
‘And Grace would only have nice things to say about you anyway, so it wouldn’t be much fun,’ Diane sighs.
‘Oh, I’m sure she’d be able to find a few little imperfections.’ Esther looks at me challengingly. ‘Wouldn’t you, Grace?’
‘I doubt it,’ I say. ‘As you can see, Jack is pretty perfect.’
‘Oh come on, he can’t be that perfect! There must be something!’
I furrow my brow, making a show of giving it some thought, then shake my head regretfully. ‘No, sorry, I really can’t think of anything—unless buying me too many flowers counts. Sometimes it’s hard to find enough vases to put them in.’
Beside me, Diane groans. ‘That is not a fault, Grace.’ She turns to Jack. ‘I don’t suppose you could give Adam a few tips on how to spoil one’s wife, could you?’
‘Don’t forget that Grace and Jack are practically newly-weds compared to all of us,’ Esther points out. ‘And they don’t have children yet. Gallantry tends to fly out of the window once familiarity and babies install themselves in a relationship.’ She pauses a moment. ‘Did you live together for long before you got married?’
‘We didn’t have time to live together,’ Jack explains. ‘We got married less than six months after we met.’
Esther raises her eyebrows. ‘Gosh, that was quick!’
‘Once I knew Grace was the one for me, there didn’t seem to be any point in hanging around,’ he says, taking my hand.
Esther looks over at me, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. ‘And you didn’t find any skeletons in the closet once you were married?’
‘Not a single one.’ I take the menu the waitress holds out to me and open it eagerly, not only because I want to stop Esther’s interrogation of my relationship with Jack but also because I’m hungry. I scan the dishes on offer and see that their fillet steak comes with mushrooms, onions and French fries. Perfect.
‘Is anybody having anything remotely fattening?’ Diane asks hopefully.
Esther shakes her head. ‘Sorry. I’m going for a salad.’
‘I’m having the fillet steak,’ I tell her. ‘With fries. And I’ll probably have the chocolate fudge cake for dessert,’ I add, knowing that is what she wants to hear.
‘In that case, I’ll join Esther in a salad and you in the fudge cake,’ she says happily.
‘Would anybody like wine?’ Jack asks, ever the perfect host.
‘No, thank you,’ says Diane, and, regretfully, I resign myself to an alcohol-free lunch because Jack never drinks during the day.
‘I’d love some,’ says Esther. ‘But only if you and Grace have some too.’
‘I won’t,’ says Jack. ‘I have a lot to do this afternoon.’
‘I will,’ I tell Esther. ‘Would you prefer red or white?’
The conversation, while we’re waiting to be served, turns to the local musical festival, which takes place every July and draws people from miles around. We agree that where we all live, we’re near enough to be able to attend the festival easily yet far enough away to not be disturbed by the thousands of people that descend on the town. Although Diane and Adam always go to the festival, Jack and I have never been and we’re soon drawn into Diane’s plans for all of us to go together. In talking about music, we learn that Esther plays the piano and Rufus the guitar and when I admit to not being at all musical, Esther asks me if I like reading and I tell her I do, although I do very little. We talk about the sort of books we like, and Esther mentions a new bestseller that has just come out and asks if we’ve read it. It turns out that none of us have.
‘Would you like me to lend it to you?’ she asks, as the waitress puts our meals on the table.
‘Yes, please.’ I’m so touched that she has offered to lend her book to me rather than to Diane that I forget.
‘I’ll drop it round this afternoon,’ she offers. ‘I don’t teach on Fridays.’
Now I remember. ‘You might have to
leave it in the letter box. If I’m in the garden, which I probably will be, I won’t hear the bell.’
‘I’d love to see your garden sometime,’ she enthuses. ‘Especially after what Jack said about you having green fingers.’
‘There’s no need for you to drive over,’ says Jack, neatly sidestepping the massive hint she’s just dropped. ‘Grace can buy the book for herself.’
‘It’s really no problem.’ Esther eyes her salad appreciatively. ‘Gosh, this looks lovely.’
‘In fact, we’ll go and buy a copy as soon as we’ve finished here. Smith’s is just around the corner.’
‘Is it just on Fridays that you don’t work?’ I ask, wanting to change the subject.
‘No, I don’t work Tuesdays either. One of the other teachers and I job-share.’
‘I’d love to be able to do that,’ says Diane wistfully. ‘It’s hard working full-time when you’ve got children. But I’d hate to give up working altogether, which is the only alternative because my firm haven’t heard of job-sharing yet.’
Esther looks over at me. ‘I can’t believe you don’t miss working. I mean, you had a pretty exciting job before you got married.’
I busy myself cutting a piece of steak, because it’s hard being reminded of the life I used to have. ‘Not at all—I have plenty to keep me occupied.’
‘So what are your other hobbies, apart from painting, gardening and reading?’
‘Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that,’ I say, realising how lame it sounds.