“Bella!” My head snapped towards the direction of a very distressed Matt.
“Matt?”
“Connor… some guy… fight…” Matt panted out, frantically pointing towards the exit.
I slammed my locker shut, stuffing the piece of paper into my bag as I sprinted past the door.
Sure enough, there was a huge crowd outside the school, one that was chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”
Pushing myself to the center, I found myself staring at a fuming Connor, holding some guy up by his collar.
“Take it back, you son of a bitch!” Connor spat.
The guy looked like he was trying to say something, but couldn’t because he was being suffocated.
“Connor, stop.” I said softly.
Connor didn’t even glance my way as he lowered the guy to the ground, but still kept a firm grip on him.
“Can’t even finish me off? You’re a disappointment. No wonder your parents are ashamed of you,” the guy croaked out. A second after he said those words, he was lying face down on the ground, completely unconscious.
I looked back at Connor, who was shaking his right hand, a deathly look in his eyes. The whole crowd was silent as I walked towards him.
All eyes were on us.
“Bella, before you…”
“That douchebag deserved to get his ass kicked,” I stated, my eyes twinkling. “Good job.”
Connor’s eyes widened and he stared at me, obviously surprised, not expecting me to say that.
“Come on, let’s go,” I said, grabbing his good hand.
The crowd parted for us, still astounded by what just happened. I ignored all the looks as we walked towards Connor’s car. Glancing back, I caught eyes of none other than Anna.
“He’s going to use you,” she mouthed.
Filled with new confidence, I smirked and flicked her off. “Fuck you, bitch!” I mouthed back at her.
As Connor drove away, I laughed quietly to myself as I stared at his shocked expression on the side mirror.
“So, you’re not mad at me?’ Connor asked, surprised.
I glanced at his bruised hand and ruffled his hair. “Are you kidding me? That was hot,” I said with a laugh.
Connor glanced at me quickly as he drove, a wide grin spreading across his face. As he parked in front of my house, he leaned over, trapping me in the car. “You’re perfect,” he murmured, his eyes trailing down to my lips.
“And you’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” I whispered.
And then our lips crashed together and the fireworks went off.
This was now my beautiful reality.
Chapter 20
“So, how’s Connor?” my mum asked as I placed all the dirty dishes in the sink.
Biting my lip nervously, I tried to not blush as I turned to talk to her. “He’s good,” I said, giggling a little at the thought of him.
“I heard he got into a fight.”
I perked up at that, my eyes grew wide and focused on her. “W-What?” I stuttered nervously in my pathetic attempt to stay calm.
She narrowed her eyes at me, studying my expression. “Shouldn’t you know? I heard you applauded him,” she replied, the sharp edge in her tone cut into me, causing me to wince.
“Applauded him? Mum… no, you don’t get…” I started to explain.
“Look, Bella,” she cut me off, “I get it. You really like Connor, and aside from all the awful things I’ve heard about him, he seems like a nice kid.”
My jaw dropped, and I simply stared at her before speaking. “Are you serious, mum? Who the hell has been telling you all these nasty things about him? Connor is a good person. Whatever that person said were all lies.” My chest was heaving when I finished, and I clenched my fists tightly.
“So he’s never been arrested? He has never beaten up anyone? Well, Tim, the guy that he beat up yesterday, he’s in the hospital.”
I couldn’t manage to think of any reply. Sure, Connor had been arrested before, and yes, he’d gotten in a couple—well, a lot actually—of fights. But he has changed. And as clichéd as it might sound, I believed that he had become a better person now.
“Bella, I know you have good judgment and I will always trust you, but I’d be lying if I said I was okay with you being with… with some delinquent,” she said, looking away in distaste.
“Mum! You know he is a good person! You’re best friends with his mum!” I shrieked, a nervous sweat building up on my palms.
“I don’t want him influencing you!” my mum countered back, “You know, I didn’t believe Mrs. Sheridan when she said you were proud of Connor for hitting that poor boy…”
“No! It…”
She cut me off with a stern look. “After everything that happened to you, I think you’d be the first one to step in, to stop him.” She shook her head slightly and sighed, placing the dish towel on the counter.
It was hard to decipher what she was feeling towards me. Disappointment?
Guilt and disgust rose within me, and I found myself about to apologize before a new emotion took over.
Anger.
“How dare you!” I snapped, crossing my arms angrily.
Her head shot up and her surprised look urged me to continue.
“You’re just going to immediately write off Connor without knowing the whole story? Really? Don’t even try to make me feel guilty. First of all, that fight was between Connor and Tim. By the time I got there, it had already started, but from hearing what that guy said to Connor, he deserved it.”
“He deserved the serious concussion that is forcing him to stay in the hospital for who knows how many days?”
Concussion?
All the pain, all those bad memories began flooding back into me. An image of me smashing my head against the window, thinking I was going to die.
“Stop. You don’t understand” was all I could manage to mutter as I turned on my heel, heading for the stairs.
“I don’t approve of him!” I heard her call out.
Pausing, I turned my head slightly to the side and yelled back, “Well, good thing you’re not the one dating him then.” With that, I made my way upstairs, a sick and empty feeling taking over me.
Once upstairs, I pulled out my phone, staring at it numbly before I decided to call Jess.
“Bells!” She greeted me loudly after only one ring.
I jerked the phone away from my ear, wincing. “Jess” was all I could say.
“What’s the matter?”
Immediately, she became serious, a hint of worry in her tone.
“My mum found out about the fight with Connor and that guy, and now she says she doesn’t approve of him,” I finally told her, my voice was shaky as I willed the tears to stay away, feeling the burning sensation build up behind my eyelids.
“What? How? Who told her?”
I sniffled, “S-some lady named M-mrs. S-sheridan.”
There was a small pause on the other side of the line, and I glanced back at my screen, checking to see if we had been cut off.
“You mean Liam’s mum?” she asked, her voice quiet.
“Wait.” My eyes widened. “Why would she just randomly say this to my mum? How would she have even found out?”
“Liam.”
“Jess, you… you don’t think he planned this. Right?” I asked, my voice was incredibly quiet, but I knew she could still hear me.
Her silence confirmed my thoughts.
“That son of a b—” I began. I was cut off by my door swinging widely open.
“Bella I need you to come downstairs. Now!” my dad said, closing the door the second he was done.
I stared at where he had been just a second ago, my mind racing.
“I need to go,” I murmured softly, my thoughts elsewhere as I hung up. Now, I have seen my dad angry before, but nothing, definitely nothing compared to when he seemed calm, yet angry. Because when he is in that state, he is like a bomb. Once he loses it… it is just bad. I’m not
saying he gets violent. No, gosh no, he would never hurt his family. But he does yell. And it hurts because, then, I would see how disappointed he was with me. Glancing down at my phone, I decided to stuff it into my book bag, in case he threatened to take it away.
“Bella!”
I jumped at the sound of my name, and quickly came down the stairs, my heart pounding within my chest.
“Sit.”
I sat down, twisting my hands in my lap, biting my lower lip nervously. Peeking upwards, I noticed my mum sitting on the couch, behind my dad who was standing.
This can’t be good, I thought to myself.
“Your mum told me about what Connor did.” His tone was impassive, which scared me even more.
“Let me…”
“No!” he cut me off, running his hand through his salt and pepper hair.
I winced, realizing how mad he was. “I don’t want you being with a violent guy,” he finally said after a short moment.
I felt my heart plummet into my stomach and my palms start to sweat.
“Dad…”
“No.”
“Dad!” Now, I never, ever, raised my voice at my dad before. I never needed to. But this was different. He wasn’t even trying to hear my side of the story.
“Connor is not a violent guy! He has never hur—”
“That’s not what I’ve heard,” my mum finally spoke up.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t very helpful.
“You can go upstairs now,” my dad said, sitting down next to my mum.
I looked between them, not understanding what was happening.
“Dad, what is going on?” I asked, unsure of the outcome of this “talk.”
He looked at me, with so many emotions swirling through his eyes—guilt, anger, and sadness.
“You’re not allowed to be with Connor anymore.”
Short and to the point.
I made a strangled noise and I pressed my hands hard into the couch. This wasn’t happening. This… this couldn't be happening.
“D-Dad, n-no…” I barely got it out, and my body was shaking.
“I’m sorry.”
“No!” I flew to my feet, clenching my fists. “You’re not sorry because being sorry is a form of regret, and I know, I know you don’t regret this.” I was shaking, tears threatening to escape my eyes.
“Bella…”
“You can’t do this to me!” I shrieked, my heart pounding inside me.
“We are your parents. We can do this, and we will.”
His tone was full of finality, crushing every bit of will in me. I felt as if I was suffocating. This, this was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.
“I hate you.” It came out as a mere whisper, but from the way my parents stiffened, I knew they heard me.
“Bel—”
“I hate you!” I spat out. “I hate you both!” I said it again, my voice cracking at the end, and I looked away as the tears began to fall. Without another word, I stood up and walked upstairs. I slammed the door of my room, and, as clichéd as it was, I slid down the floor and proceeded to cry my eyes out.
They just didn’t understand. They didn’t understand what Connor meant to me.
Connor.
I had to talk to him. I needed to tell him what happened. Grabbing my bag, I emptied its contents onto my bed, searching for my phone. I groaned in frustration when I couldn’t find it, only to then find it under a small piece of paper. Frowning, I flipped over the piece of paper, and then a small gasp escaped my trembling lips.
It was a picture… of me. That’s not all. In it, I was sleeping!
And the worst part? There was a hand wearing leather gloves, resting on my cheek. On the lower corner of the paper, there was a small note scrawled out.
You will be mine.
The paper slipped through my fingers, falling silently to the ground. I felt like I was suffocating.
He… he found me.
More tears escaped from my eyes. Sam, the most abusive, hateful guy I had ever met. He was back!
I placed my hand over my mouth, holding in the scream that so badly wanted to escape. My whole body was shaking like a leaf, and I wanted to vomit. Jerking my eyes away from the note, I grabbed my phone and sprinted out of my room and down the stairs.
“Was Sam released?” I hastily asked my parents, my tone surprisingly strong and demanding.
My parents’ heads jerked towards my direction, confusion and worry written all over their faces.
“What?” my dad asked.
Tightening my clamped fists, I took a couple of deep breaths before repeating myself. “Was Sam released?” I asked again.
My mum stood up, her face serious. “Of course not. Why in the world would you ask that?”
I felt relieved as my heart drastically slowed down, returning back to its normal pace.
“Never mind,” I muttered, grabbing my keys. Ignoring my protesting parents, I hopped into my car, driving down the street without a single backward glance.
I was halfway to Connor’s house when I finally made the sudden realization—If Sam wasn’t the one who left that note, then who did?
Slamming on the brakes, I came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road. Once again, my heart was pounding hard in my chest and my hands grew clammy. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, resting my head against my numb hands.
“This girl is on fi—”[2]
The sound of my extremely loud ringtone caused me to jerk backwards, which really didn’t help calm down my racing heart. I let out a small scream before I picked up my phone.
Missed call from Connor.
My eyes widened and I stared at the phone blankly. After a minute or so, the voicemail notification popped up, and I rushed to listen to it.
“Hey, baby, I’ve been thinking…” he trailed off and I heard numerous voices in the background. He sounded so different, not at all like how he had sounded only hours before when he dropped me off. I shook my head slightly, it felt like years since Connor had dropped me off at home.
“Connor! Connor, what the hell are you doing?” I recognized that voice, it was Matt.
“W-what?”
“Baby… don’t stop now…”
I felt a wave of nausea surge over me, causing me to gasp out as tears blurred my vision. Throwing my phone in the backseat, I started up the car again, brushing away the painful tears.
Have you ever felt like you’re about to just crumble? You’re at such a vulnerable, weak point that it seems like even the smallest pressure could crush you?
That’s exactly how I felt right then, standing in front of Connor’s front door. I bit my lip nervously, and I weakly tapped my hand against the wooden door. After a couple of minutes I was ready to leave, but just as I turned to walk away, the door slowly opened.
“Bella?”
I stared back at the obviously distressed James, his eyes were bloodshot and his hair was all over the place. Without a word, I pushed past him, looking around. I noticed the broken vodka bottle on the ground and the empty beer bottles splayed over the counter.
“Bella, you shouldn’t be here,” James said, his hand lightly grabbing my arm.
I started shaking again, and was biting my lip really hard. Yanking my arm out of his loose grip, I stormed upstairs. I saw the light under the door of the bathroom, and I immediately walked over, flinging the door open without a second thought.
What I saw… Well, there really was no word to describe it.
Connor was lying on the ground by the toilet, his head resting against the wall. Matt was crouched near him, a glass of water in his hand.
“Bella?” Matt looked shocked. But I have to admit, I found my true, and somewhat sick enjoyment from Connor’s reaction. His eyes flew open and I watched as he struggled to stand.
“Bells! I… lis——”
“Did you cheat on me?” My tone was completely emotionless as I stood there, trying to hold it all together.
“
Bella, let me…” he started to say as he stumbled forward.
“Explain?” I finished for him, my voice cracking slightly. I glanced at Matt, who was now by the sink, looking at the ground.
“I’m just going to go…” he murmured, walking past me, pausing to give my shoulder an awkward pat.
I turned my attention back to Connor as soon as the door shut, crossing my arms tightly. “Did you cheat on me?” I winced as my voice cracked near the end, the hurt and pain showing through.
He stared at me, and before he even said anything, I knew the answer. Why? Well, first of all, it was pretty obvious from the voicemail I had gotten only moments before. And secondly, I have never seen so much guilt on someone’s face.
“Yes.”
Two words rang through my mind—be strong.
Who knew that it would be so hard? I wanted to collapse, to just scream and cry. But no, I just stood there, staring at this… this stranger.
“But it’s not what you think!” Connor’s voice tore me away from my thoughts, and I found myself looking at him again.
“Oh so, you didn’t cheat on me?”
“No! Well, yes, but…”
“Then it’s exactly what I think.” I felt so destroyed. Turning around, I opened the door and began walking away, each step hurting me more and more. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard Connor’s desperate footsteps behind me. Quickening my pace, I started heading towards the door, only to be stopped by a hand gripping the arm.
“Since you’re storming out right now, I know for a fact you didn’t hear him out,” James spoke softly, turning me around to face him.
I saw Connor only a couple of feet away, and the distraught expression on his face was hurting me even more. Matt was in the kitchen, watching the whole scene nervously.
“Oh, I heard him,” I snapped, struggling in his grip. “I heard him loud and clear.”
James sighed and began pulling me towards the couch in the living room. Realizing what was happening, I dug my heels in the ground, using all of my strength to pull away. I started fighting even harder when I saw Connor and Matt sitting on the couch, like they were waiting for me.
Well, fuck this! If I wanted to have a dramatic exit, I sure as hell was going to have one.