“He was making me,” she said, confirming my suspicions.
“He,” I repeated. “Who is this ‘he’? Why haven’t you told me yet?” I was growing anxious and sick as I began to feel the full impact of everything she just told me. “You keep saying how he made you do all those things and how dangerous he is, yet you haven’t said anything about who he is!”
“Bella! Bella, calm down!” she cried out, taking a step forward.
I stumbled backwards, putting a couple of feet between us.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I screamed. “You saw the note and you know what it says! My life is in danger here, and potentially, also the lives of the ones I love, and you just stand there and say ‘calm down’?” I was enraged at this point.
“Bella, you need to let me finish! I need to! You can’t just take in all that I’ve said without letting me finish first!”
I stared at her, my chest heaving. Finally, I managed to gather the energy to stop myself from screaming at her. “Finish then, why don’t you?” My words were hushed yet they were laced with venom.
“You’re right, Bella. I should have told you about this the second I found out, but I didn’t. I was scared for myself. He was abusing me on a daily basis, even when I hadn’t done anything wrong. Imagine what he would have done if I told you! And, yes, I was being selfish, but that’s what fear does to you. And I know you know how I feel.” She paused, looking into my eyes. “I know what happened to you.”
I felt waves of nausea, confusion, and worry wash over me—drowning me. “Wha—— H-how?” I managed to whisper, tears again filled my newly dry eyes.
She sighed and urged me to sit back down on the couch that I had abandoned, which I did obediently. “This guy, your stalker… he knew you. He knew you before.”
“Sam!” I immediately shrieked, more tears falling from my eyes. My parents had lied to me and now he was out to get me. I was going to die!
“Not Sam,” Anna countered.
My sobs came to a halt as I stared at her through my blurry vision, a hiccup escaping my lips as I fought to hold back the sobs.
“N-not Sam?” I asked.
“No,” she said, looking at me.
I stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.
She realized what I was doing and she let out a groan of frustration. “I can’t tell you who it is, Bella! If I could, don’t you think I would have already?”
“Then what was the point of all this?” I nearly shrieked. I had been so close, so close to knowing who it was, and she was saying she couldn’t tell me. Well, this was just the best fucking day ever, wasn’t it?
“If he asks me if I told you, which is something he does often, he will easily see through my lie. And then, not only will I be in danger, but you, too,” she explained.
“So how am I supposed to know who it is?” I asked, a slight bit of annoyance leaking into my tone.
“Well, if you managed to find out, without me necessarily telling you, then I wouldn’t be lying if I say that I never told you when he asks,” she said, looking at me intently.
Then, it clicked. She wanted me to figure it out on my own, which was why she was not telling me, and also so it wouldn’t get us into trouble with whoever this person was.
“So I knew him before?” I asked, trying to think of people I’ve met.
“Yes, but he isn’t English. He went to your old school, the one you went to but left because of the bullying.”
I was surprised to hear that. “So… wait. Do you mean…?”
“He followed you here at your new school? Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. Bells, I wasn’t lying when I said this guy is dangerous. And he obviously knows what he’s doing.”
“Well, I still don’t know who you mean!” I cried out, throwing up my hands in frustration.
“Please, think about it. Think about your old classmates, the ones in America. Were they all mean to you? Were there any nice ones?”
I could tell she was really trying to help me remember who it was, the way her voice was strained.
“I'm sorry, I just…” I started to say, my heart rate accelerating dramatically as my palms became sweaty, and a sickening wave of nausea hit me.
Have you ever experienced that sensation when you're about to fall asleep? All of a sudden, you feel like you're falling, your heart accelerates, and you feel as if you're about to die? And all you could think was “Oh, God! Not like this!” That was exactly how I felt right then.
“Bella? Bella, are you okay?” Anna asked, crouching down to my eye level.
I felt as if I was about to throw up. Hot and cold flashes washed over me, my vision became hazy, and it all came back to me.
How had I forgotten about him? His crooked grin, and blue eyes that constantly watched over me.
“I remember now,” I whispered, looking up at her.
Her eyes flew wide open and her mouth parted slightly. “You do?” she asked back. Her voice, like mine, was barely audible.
I nodded, my heart still rapidly pumping away in my chest. “It’s Liam.”
Chapter 21
numb |nəm|
adjective
not being able to feel any emotions or deprived of the power of sensation
~ Oxford University Press, (oxforddictionaries.com)
That was how I felt at that moment—numb. I let my body be deprived of any sensation, and let the numbness take over me. Why? Because only moments before, I was drowning in unimaginable terror.
Flashing lights lit up the crowded street. A sharp, chilling wind sliced through the air, causing my body to shake slightly and my hair to whip around my motionless body. Words floated aimlessly around me as people cautiously approached my broken form. I felt as if I were underwater, oblivious to the noise around me.
Then, my eyes found the stretcher, which now carried a large black bag being wheeled out. It was a body bag. Staring at it, as the bag was loaded into the ambulance, I thought I would be overwhelmed with different emotions. But I didn’t feel anything. I was still numb.
I felt a large, heavy cotton blanket being placed around my shoulders. The police officer who brought it lingered, waiting to see my reaction to the gesture. It was nearly freezing outside. And although it would have been nice to be warm, I let myself succumb to the biting cold, and let the blanket hang limply around my shoulders.
“Ma’am, could you please take a seat over there?” the policewoman said, as she gestured towards the open ambulance. “The EMTs just need to look you over.” Her eyes looked everywhere but me, obviously trying to avoid looking at my bruised and bloodied face.
I didn’t exactly respond, but only started to stiffly make my way over to the ambulance. I felt eyes on me, watching my every move, analyzing me. These people probably saw me as a ticking time bomb. Perhaps, they saw in me a fragile girl who had just witnessed something so traumatic that she was bound to break any given second.
And you know what? They were right.
Despite what some people might have said, I had never been the strong, confident girl. Every girl has her insecurities. It was how well you could hide them that mattered. But the people staring at me then knew, they knew that the wall of numbness surrounding me at that moment was going to break sooner or later, and an overwhelming flood of emotions would come pouring out, leaving me utterly broken.
My body ached, protested, and screamed in agony, but nonetheless I managed to sit down at the back of the ambulance.
“Okay, honey, I know you’re in a lot of pain…” I blocked out the rest of what the EMT lady said to me. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care. I wanted to just shut everything off and forget.
“Ma’am? Ma’am!” Her voice dragged me out of my living nightmare. I looked at her, my face expressionless. And that was when I saw her. Her limp, unconscious body was being wheeled out of the house. Her once blond hair had been stained and matted with blood.
Anna.
Suddenly everything became
all too real for me. And my wall broke.
“Anna,” I whispered, tears flooding my vision. “Anna!” my voice cracked as I screamed out to her, despite knowing perfectly well that she couldn’t hear me. I ignored the pain as I fought to get past the crowd of firemen, police officers, and EMTs. But I felt a pair of arms pull me from behind, guiding me away from Anna’s stretcher.
“No!” I shrieked, blinded by my tears, unable to focus on anything except the flashing lights and the blur that was Anna.
“Ma’am, I need you to calm down. Ma’am!” The policewoman pleaded with me as I fought against her grip, and my whole body was racked with sobs.
I watched as they placed my friend inside the ambulance, the EMTs quickly transporting her to the nearest hospital. But even as they drove away, I continued to scream and thrash around, and then finally I broke down in front of everyone.
“It’s not fair!” I screamed, ignoring the pleas from the struggling policewoman. I looked towards the direction that the ambulance drove off, and what I saw made me freeze up.
Matt, James, and Connor. They stood there, nearly blending in with the crowd. I locked eyes with Connor, his hair out of place, and a stricken expression on his face.
“It’s not fair,” I whispered, letting my body go limp, allowing the policewoman to bring me back to the ambulance. I let them strap me down on one of the stretchers and drive me off.
I had never been the strong, confident girl that some might have seen me as. At that time, I was beaten, fragile, and on the verge of shattering. So I let myself give up.
And as they drove me to the hospital, I slowly closed my eyes… and let myself shatter.
Several hours earlier
shock| sh äk|
noun
a sudden upsetting or surprising event or experience;
a feeling of disturbed surprise resulting from an upsetting event
~ Oxford University Press, (oxforddictionaries.com)
My heart was beating fast but everything else seemed to be in slow motion as I stared at Anna, my mind struggling to process everything I just discovered.
Liam was the guy of my nightmares. Not Sam, but Liam. That deceiving, manipulative boy had me tricked from the beginning. Sure, there were times I had my suspicions, but I truly never expected it to be him.
“Bella…” Anna started, but was cut off by the sound of crunching gravel.
My heart sped up, pounding hard in my chest. Calm down, Bella, I thought to myself, it’s probably just her neighbors.
Anna’s phone, which was on the counter, started ringing. When she answered it, I watched the color drain from her face, and how she leaned against the counter for support as she listened to the person on the other line.
“N—— Please… don’t!” Then she sucked in a breath, her eyes darting from me to the window and back. She gestured for me to get down, her expression horrified.
I crouched on the ground, hiding myself from the window.
“What’s going on?” I mouthed.
Anna just shook her head and quickly hung up her phone, racing towards the door and locking it.
“Anna…”
“Get in the closet. Now!” Anna hissed at me, panic etched across her features.
“Why?” I managed to ask as she dragged me towards the hallway closet, flinging the door open and pushing me inside.
As if in answer to my question, I heard a knock on the front door.
Anna looked back at me, looking pale as a ghost. “He’s here.”
Two words, only two words, and everything changed. Oh yes, those very words stirred up something malicious within me.
Fear.
fear |fi(ə)r|
noun
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat
~ Oxford University Press, (oxforddictionaries.com)
It comes from deep within. It causes people to act impulsively, making them unable to think clearly about their actions, unintentionally compelling them to focus on it, one of the most primeval emotions—fear. After you’ve experienced its sickening wave, you’d be left numb beyond pain. But the calmness would only last for a fleeting moment. When it returns, the deluge will strike and prey on the weak.
Panic was what coursed through my body as I heard Anna’s muffled warnings, which were soon replaced with a continuous banging on the door. Fright was what overtook me when I heard Anna open the door hesitantly, and angry footsteps entered the house.
“Where is she?” It was Liam. His voice was sharp, slicing through the air like a knife. My heart rate started racing and my palms grew sweaty.
Liam from two years ago, I remember him now. He was quite friendly and was always trying to comfort me, especially when the other kids were trying to make my life hell. But somehow, I never really found comfort in his attentions. On the contrary, I tended to avoid him because he kind of gave me a creepy vibe. I didn’t consider him, or anyone in that school, as my friend. That was probably why I didn’t remember him. And as cruel and harsh as it seemed, he just wasn’t worth remembering.
But apparently, I was, so much so that he actually followed me here… to stalk me.
“Damn it, Anna! I know she’s here!” Liam bellowed.
A loud crash echoed throughout the house and broke me away from my thoughts. That was when the terror hit me. And let me tell you, it hit hard.
“L-Liam, I s-sw-swear! She isn’t h-here!” Anna stammered, her cries echoing in the room.
I bit my lip lightly as tears filled up my eyes. I held back the cries that I wanted to let out, and I waited.
“You stupid bitch!” Liam spat out. A loud slap rang out, and Anna’s scream of pain confirmed my anxious thoughts.
“Are you going to lie to me again?” His low, angry voice rose above the noise of her sobs.
“L-Li—— she is-isn’t…” Anna’s lie was cut short when a loud crash went off again, and her agonizing screams pierced the air.
By now I was crouched in the back of the closet, rocking back and forth and silently crying.
Why was he doing this?
Why was this happening?
What did I do wrong to deserve this?
So many questions, yet there were no answers. Meanwhile, Anna’s sobs grew louder as more slaps, punches, and kicks were delivered. My mind flashed back to when that was me in her place, and Sam in Liam’s.
I needed someone then to step in, but no one was ever there. But this time was different. I was here.
And so, I decided to step in.
hero |ˈhi(ə)rō|
noun (pl. -es)
a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities
~ Oxford University Press, (oxforddictionaries.com)
A hero needs to have courage, strength, and intelligence. Well, three strikes and I was out. But at that moment, I didn’t really care that I lacked all of those qualities. I needed to help a friend, and it seemed like it was the only thing I could do.
I felt myself stand and involuntarily reach for the door handle. Am I really going to do this? I asked myself.
Another loud crash came from the kitchen, and I found myself flinging open the door and running out into the hallway without a second thought.
“N-no!” Anna murmured, her eyes meeting mine.
It was as if I had forgotten all about Liam, as if I didn’t realize what danger I was putting myself in. And you know what? I really didn’t.
Without warning, I found myself pressed up against the countertop, my back painfully bent as the edge of the table dug into my skin. It was only then that I fully grasped the situation I had put myself in.
Liam’s cold eyes bore into mine, a sneer appeared on his lips as if he was born with it. “Look who finally decided to make an appearance,” he murmured, grinding his hips painfully into mine, making me gasp and cry out in pain. His eyes glinted with pleasure as he
looked into mine.
“Aw,” he cooed, “has someone been crying?” One of his large, rough hands caressed my face, touching the tears that cascaded down my cheeks.
“Leave her alone,” Anna whispered.
I looked at her once more, taking in the damage he had done to her. Blood poured from her nose and there were multiple cuts and bruises on her face.
“Shut up, you worthless whore,” Liam growled out, his body tensing against mine.
I opened my mouth to say something, but Anna beat me to it.
“Get away from her!” Anna yelled. She had managed to pull herself up using a chair and attempted to hit Liam. Except for my whimpers and cries of pain, I had kept silent… that is, until Liam’s fist flew forward, hitting Anna straight in the face.
I watched in utter horror as her limp body was flung backwards and landed on the floor with a loud thud, her face emotionless as she slipped away into unconsciousness. A scream punctured the silence, and it wasn’t until Liam whipped back around and smacked his hand over my mouth that I realized it was me who had been screaming.
“Stop fucking shrieking your head off,” he snarled, shoving me back into the counter, my body about to collapse from the pain, while he smirked in amusement.
It was sickening to see him so content with himself.
“Y-you’re a monster!” I choked out as soon as he took his hand from my mouth.
“Let me guess, you remember now? Or did that slut, Anna, have to spell it out for you?” His tone grew venomous as his amusement faded.
“G-get away from me!” I shrieked, thrashing against his strong form, but my attempts were futile.
“Stop it, Bella,” he snapped, his hands reaching for my wrists.
I paid no attention to what he said as I continued to fight to get away from him, and in the process, my hand flew up and slapped him straight across the face. His head snapped to the side, with a large red handprint already beginning to appear on his cheek. When he slowly turned back, I could see the fury in his eyes.