The blunt question startled me out of my daze, but it wasn’t delivered with a rude vibe or anything, it was just really direct, more direct and familiar than I was expecting. So I cleared my throat as I picked myself up off the ground, dusting dirt and leaves and grass from my ass as I went.
“Sorry,” I said. “I, uh, I just…” I glanced at the door to the apartment I’d been prepared to knock on. “Is Bailey home?”
When she didn’t answer, I turned to find her setting her hand on her cocked hip and frowning at me.
Worried I’d messed up somehow with that question, I gulped and glanced around before asking, “What?”
She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Wow. Save a guy’s life and he completely forgets what you look like. I feel so special right now, Bucket. Thanks.”
The name Bucket caused my eyes to widen. I scanned her from head to toe but didn’t recognize a single thing about her from the one night we’d met except her height. “You…” Clearing my throat, I started again. “Sorry, I just, your hair—the rainbow hair, I mean—was the only thing I really remembered about you. And now that you dyed it, well…” I shrugged lamely.
Yes, I was an idiot.
Bailey touched the side of her head, her scowl only deepening. “Why is everyone so obsessed about me dying my hair? Does it look that bad?”
“What? No,” I said immediately, worried I’d offended her. This girl had saved my life, the last thing I wanted to do was upset her in any way. “It’s beautiful. The curls. They’re…” I motioned to my own head, stupidly drawing rings around my scalp with my finger before adding, “I’ve always liked curls.”
Realizing how strange I sounded, I winced.
Bailey lifted an eyebrow and stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. But she didn’t seem leery or afraid, which, after the hassle I’d had yesterday getting a hotel room, was actually awesome. I would take the you’re-so-whack stare any day of the week over the please-don’t-rape-me cower.
“So my friend said you stopped by the fraternity,” I started over, feeling like I was bombing this whole conversation the more I spoke. Then I sniffed. “Well, ex-friend. Acquaintance,” I corrected.
It felt weird to call Max a mere acquaintance. We’d known each other since freshman year when we’d rushed Alpha Gamma Rho together. We’d mucked horse stalls out at the University barn together, gotten drunk together, played wingman with girls for each other. And now he didn’t want to get caught even talking to me.
It seemed so bizarre that this girl I didn’t even know wasn’t glancing around to make sure no one driving by on the street caught me anywhere near her when my own so-called best friend had.
Yeah, thanks a lot, you fucking friend.
“So you found my address and came to find out what I wanted from you?” she asked slowly, still gazing at me as if I’d lost my mind.
I shrugged. “And to say thank you,” I added. “Mostly to say thank you. So…thank you.”
I kind of half-nodded, half-bowed to her, like I wanted to treat her like royalty but felt weird about it. She blinked, letting me know I was totally weird.
I cleared my throat and shoved my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie. “Why were you trying to find me?”
Eyes widening, she jerked her head back and forth, shaking it madly. “N-nothing. I mean, no reason.”
I squinted. She gulped. Then she winced and let out a defeated sigh before admitting, “I wanted to apologize.”
My eyebrows jerked up. “For what?” Her apologizing made no sense whatsoever.
Flushing, she looked away and hugged herself. “Because,” she muttered before pinching her brow into a frown and scowling directly at me, “Because I waited so long, you know, to come forward and help you.”
My mouth fell open. I gaped at her mutely, long enough for her to start squirming uncomfortably under my stunned stare. Then I shook my head and blurted, “That’s not…you can’t…don’t ever be sorry about coming forward. You saved me. I don’t think you really realize how much you honestly rescued me. I don’t care if it took you a day or a year, I am forever in your debt for what you did. You didn’t know me, you had no obligation whatsoever to put yourself out there for me. Yet you did. That’s what matters.”
As if uncomfortable by my praise, she hugged herself. “Well, I pretty much had to.” She shrugged one shoulder. “No one else was going to. I’m the only one who actually saw you, you know…” She glanced away, blushing. “I’m the only one who witnessed what happened.”
It struck me then, like really struck me, this girl had seen me have sex.
The moment instantly grew, like, fifty times more intimate. The air seemed to suck in around us, and this strange heat bloomed deep in the pit of my stomach, like almost at the base of my cock. Then the nerve endings in my extremities gave a tingling shudder, especially when her gray eyes ran over me as if remembering exactly what she’d seen me do with Melody.
Something must be really fucked up with my brain because for the briefest moment this overwhelming thought struck me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d liked what she’d seen. She’d watched me come, listened to my panting breaths as my muscles had coiled for an orgasm, she’d maybe even smelled my release permeate the air. Had that disgusted her? Or intrigued her?
Then my thoughts went even more depraved; I wondered what she looked like when she came. I could damn near picture those full lush lips parting, that pert chin arching up and those long lashes fanning over her gray-gray eyes before her breath caught and—
Damn it to hell, I should not be thinking about this. What in God’s name was wrong with me?
Since my encounter with Melody had led to everything that it’d led to, sex should be the very last thing on my mind. In fact, I might very well refrain from it for the rest of my life. No woman on earth was worth the hell I’d just been through.
Shaking my head to jostle my thoughts from the gutter, I refocused on Bailey’s face. She was staring at me with wide eyes as if she knew exactly what I’d been thinking—not scared of it, but maybe just intimidated as in a flattered, oh-my-God-was-he-really-just-thinking-about-me-like-that kind of way. Which didn’t help my growing erection die down in the least.
“Can I ask you for a huge favor?” I blurted, needing a distraction as I bent one leg strangely to create more space in my jeans and hopefully hide any bulges in case she dropped her gaze, to say, my lap region. Then I flushed hard, realizing what I’d just said. This was totally not the way I’d planned on begging for her help. Wincing, I added, “Even though I’m the one who owes you my life and you owe me completely nothing.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What kind of favor?”
“Can you, um…” I drew in a breath, worried she would deny me outright without even giving me a chance to plead my case. “Could you come with me sometime to my parents’ place and help me convince them I’m innocent. They kind of, um, didn’t believe me the first time I called.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Your own parents didn’t believe you? Why the hell would your parents not believe you?” Suddenly, she took a wary step back, the first time she’d ever seemed concerned about her own safety in my presence. Not that I blamed her. If a guy’s own parents could think he was a rapist, he was probably a pretty despicable guy.
I winced, biting back the urge to reassure her I was safe and that she had no reason to be afraid of me, maybe even confess my true motive. But that was more embarrassing than letting her think I was repugnant enough to lose my family’s faith.
I drew in a deep breath, kept my hands firmly in my front hoodie pockets and explained, “They have a good reason. It doesn’t have anything to do with me personally, and it’s complicated, so—”
Bailey waved me quiet. “You know what, just tell me about it on the way. Do you want to take my ride or yours?”
My mouth fell open as I gaped at her. “What?”
“You can tell me about all your family drama on the way to you
r parents’ place,” she enunciated more slowly.
The joy of her agreeing so readily to go with me was eclipsed by my confusion.
“Like what? You want to go right now? Right now, right now?” My heart picked up speed just thinking about seeing my mom and dad that quickly. Was I really ready to face them so soon?
Bailey merely shrugged as if it were no big deal. “Sure. Why not?”
I glanced around at the darkening evening. “It’s almost night.”
Bailey tipped her head to the side as if confused. “Do they not answer their door after sun sets?” Then she lowered her voice in a conspiratorial fashion. “They’re not, like, afraid of werewolves of vampires, are they?”
I shook my head, blinking over such a ridiculous notion. “Umm, no. Of course not. I mean, maybe they are of vacuum cleaner salesmen, but it’s just…they live over an hour away. It’d probably be over a three-hour trip. We might not make it back until after midnight tonight.”
Bailey shrugged. “So?”
I swallowed, growing nervous. What if Mom and Dad still turned me out after I showed up for a face-to-face with them? What would I—?
No, I wasn’t even going to entertain those kinds of thoughts. They’d let me back in. They had to. I was their son. They loved me and had always supported and protected me.
I focused on Bailey and panicked. “Don’t you have to get up early for classes?” I asked, almost praying she said yes and cancelled on me, or at least postponed until I felt more mentally prepared.
A shadow of emotion crossed her face—something filled with pain and heartache—before she coughed into her hand and said, “I was planning on skipping tomorrow. You?”
Me? What about me? When I realized she was asking about my class scheduled, I flushed, immediately uncomfortable. Ducking my head, I kicked at the ground and admitted, “I, uh, I’m not enrolled at Granton anymore. They’ve forbidden from even stepping foot on their campus.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Are you freaking kidding me?” she demanded. When I gave a brief, shame-filled shrug, she sniffed. “Well, that’s just bullshit.”
I looked up fully, surprised she was so affronted on my behalf.
I’m not gonna lie, it felt nice to know someone was on my side. I suddenly wanted to hug her. But then my mind immediately wondered how soft she’d feel in my arms. Her pillowy breasts would be nice mashed against my chest. And I bet her hair would smell sweet if I buried my nose into those funky, fun blonde curls. I straightened and scratched at the back of my neck, trying to dispel such thoughts from my brain.
With a grateful smile, I admitted, “I agree.” It was all total bullshit.
“Well…” Bailey nodded and blew out a breath. “I guess my questions remains. Who’s gonna drive?”
“I-I’ll drive,” I offered, even as I wondered how much gas I had in my tank and cash I had in my wallet. Renting that hotel room the night before had pretty much drained me, and I was positive I wouldn’t make it to Mom and Dad’s house with the amount of gas I currently had in my truck, much less back to Granton again.
But Bailey clasped her hands together and said, “All right then,” as if it were all decided, which I guess it was. “Let’s head out.”
So I pointed out the way and led her from the door I’d never even gotten to knock on. She followed me across the dark street to my truck. I had an older model truck, no electronic key fob, so I walked around to the passenger side first to unlock her door for her. Then, since I was already there, I opened it and held it for her while she climbed in.
She was a petite thing and my truck was lifted, but she had no qualms about gipping the doorframe and hauling herself up into the cab, making it inside on the first try. She seemed fine about getting into a truck alone with me too, which blew my mind. She was probably the only person on the face of the planet who knew without a doubt I wasn’t a rapist. She was the only person in the world who actually seemed to still trust me and have any kind of faith in me.
You really never realized how precious a person’s trust and faith in you was until you didn’t have it anymore. I didn’t want to lose it with Bailey either, so I’m pretty sure I was willing to do just about anything to keep her believing in me.
Chapter 15
BAILEY
“So…?” I held my hands in front of the heater’s blower on the dash of Beckett’s truck before rubbing my warmed palms together and dropping them back into my lap. “You were going to fill me in on your family drama.”
I was still a little shocked at myself for so readily going anywhere with him, but then…I guess I’d been craving an escape to get away from school and even my apartment for a while, so when he’d asked his request to get me out of town, it had felt like a big, fat blinking sign. I jumped all over the offer without even thinking it through. Then again, making rash decisions was my thing, so…huh, I guess it wasn’t that surprising after all, though it was weird sitting quietly in a truck with a guy I knew basically nothing about, expect how pretty he was when he came.
Beckett glanced across the cab at me, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Uh…” But then his gaze lit when he caught sight of a gas station. “Hold that thought. I need to fill up.”
When he parked in front of a gas pump and killed the engine, he pulled his wallet from his back pocket before filing through the bills inside. I arched up enough to catch sight of a five, three ones, and nothing else. He snapped the wallet back together and sent me a quick glance.
I sank back into my seat, attempting to look innocent and unassuming, even though questions flooded the tip of my tongue. There was no way he’d be able to fill the gas tank on eight dollars. The gauge had showed we were at just under a quarter tank, and with an hour-long ride, I wasn’t so sure eight dollars would get us there and back.
I wanted to ask why he wasn’t pulling out a credit or debit card. I wanted to know if he needed me to pay. I had no problems with chipping in gas money. But he didn’t ask for help and I didn’t offer any. He seemed so embarrassed by his financial situation I kept my mouth shut, which was a rare event in and of itself. I never kept quiet when really curious thoughts bombarded me.
But I sat in the quiet cab of his truck like a good girl who really wasn’t nosy as he murmured, “Be right back,” and pushed the door open.
I watched from my seat as he went inside to pay, then filled the engine with exactly eight dollars’ worth of gas.
When Beckett returned, sliding behind the wheel, and started the engine, he sent me an uneasy glance before asking, “Are you warm enough?” Then he fiddled with the heater controls. I think he wanted me to say no so he’d have a reason to change the temperature, and do something, anything to avoid the elephant in the truck.
But I said, “I’m fine,” to which he muttered a disappointed, “Oh,” and dropped his hand from the heater controls.
“Want some music on?” he asked next, already going for the radio next. “Country station, right?”
Man, he really did not want to tell me about his family situation. The boy was procrastinating big time. That only made me more eager to know everything.
Besides, if I was supposed to step into the lion’s den with him, it seemed logical that I learned what I was heading into. Honestly, it was only fair. Plus it would help curb some of the raging curiosity in me, because I felt like I might blow any second from the insane need to know.
“What I don’t get,” I said, “Is how your parents, who should know you better than just about anyone, thought you were even capable of rape. Are you sure there’s not something you need to tell me about you?”
He sighed and settled both hands on the steering wheel. “I only talked to my dad on the phone about it,” he finally admitted. “And he never came right out and said, ‘I don’t believe you.’ He was more ‘you need to take responsibility for your actions,’ and he said that after I told him Melody already had a boyfriend when we—”
“Melody already had a boyfriend?” I squ
awked. “When you two…” I motioned back and forth with my fingers.
Beckett glanced at me, frowning as if he thought I should already know this. “Yeah. Why do you think she cried rape in the first place? After you left the door unlocked, he came in looking for her. As soon as he found us together, she immediately started bawling and claiming I forced her.”
“Holy shit.” I stared forward out the dark windshield and watched the glowing reflection of the approaching highway signs zip by on the side of the road. “She’s even more wicked than I originally thought. I had no idea she had a boyfriend when she came onto you.”
“Yeah,” Beckett muttered bitterly. “Neither did I.”
I turned to watch his profile as he focused on the road ahead. “So none of this would’ve happened if I’d just relocked the door behind me, huh?”
He glanced over, meeting my gaze before scowling and shaking his head. “No. None of this would’ve happened if Melody had just been faithful to her boyfriend and left me the hell alone. None of this would’ve happened if I had just told her no like I’d wanted to. None of this would’ve happened if she’d just manned up and admitted to cheating on him. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.”
I sank lower into my seat, feeling the urge to argue that point. It felt as if I’d done plenty wrong. I’d spied on him having sex, I’d remained quiet and hidden when he’d tried to tell her no, I’d taken not only a picture but a freaking video of it. I’d left the door unlocked so they would get caught together, and then…then…I’d left him hanging in jail for longer than I should have.
Hugging myself and feeling vile, I muttered, “Why didn’t you just tell her no? It was obvious the whole time that you wanted her to leave you alone.”
He reached up and reshaped the bill of his hat with his hand in a nervous gesture before quietly admitting, “I don’t know. Because I’m stupid. I was drunk. I’m a guy. I didn’t want to be alone. Take your pick.” Then he wiped his hand over his face before releasing a pent-up breath. “Trust me, if I had to do it all over again, I’d have run out of that room screaming as soon she entered it, or I would’ve hidden with you in the…” He paused to glance at me. “Where the hell did you hide the whole time, anyway?”