“Where was that?”
With a secretive smile, she shook her head. “No way. No one knows that. Not even Tess.”
I grinned back, wanting to know where her secret place was now more than ever. Hell, I wanted to know everything. So I said, “Four brothers, huh? Wow. No sisters?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I’m the only girl.”
“They youngest?” I guessed.
“Yes,” she lamented. “Being the youngest and only girl is a recipe for disaster, I’m telling you. Especially with my mom gone. You should’ve seen them freak out when I got my first period.”
I chuckled. “I’ll bet. What’re your brothers’ names?”
“Let’s see. There’s Brock, Braiden, Booth, Blaine, and then me.”
I started to nod, before freezing. “All Bs,” I said, straightening with surprise.
She groaned and fell forward to hide her face in the mattress before sitting up and scowling. “Don’t you dare say that’s fucking cute. I will cut you.”
“Oh, trust me. I would never. Because I totally understand.” I pressed a hand to my heart. “There’s me, Beckett, and my sister, Brittany. Then my mom and dad are Brian and Brenda.”
Bailey gasped. “My dad’s name is Ben, and my mom was Bonnie. Oh my God. You’re from a B family too. You do understand.”
“Hell, yes, I understand,” I insisted. “And it’s awful. Everyone else is all like, ‘oh, that’s so adorable,’” I mimicked before making a grimace.
Pointing at me, Bailey growled, “But it’s not. Not even a little. It makes people never take you seriously, or they make fun of you, or worse, think you’re all just so freaking delightful and take stupid matching pictures of your cuteness all bunched together.” She sniffed in outrage. “Like I want to be smashed between my stinky brothers that much.”
“Annoying as hell,” I finished, nodding in total agreement.
“Exactly.”
“I’m never doing that to my children.” I shook my head, adamant.
“Hell, I’ll even refuse to date a guy whose name starts with B,” she added.
“Good idea,” I seconded, until wait…I frowned. My name started with a B.
But she didn’t seem to notice that point. She held out a fist for me to bump. “To anti-B-hood!”
I chuckled and bumped my fist against hers. We shared a smile for…I don’t even know how long. But it was warm and carefree and felt nice.
I don’t know who spoke first after that, or what we even discussed. But it was nothing but comfortable and relaxed. The topics skipped to strange, everyday shit, sometimes funny, sometimes annoyances we shared. We just swapped stories and compared opinions until Bailey yawned and glanced at her wrist before her eyes went huge.
“Holy shit. I had no idea it was so late.”
She hopped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom. When she came out in her comfy conservative pajamas, I wanted to cuddle with her more than was humanly decent. But that was bad. It had to be bad, right?
I sat up and scooted off the bed. “Do you mind if I borrow your shower?” I asked, scratching the back of my neck as I grew not-so comfortable, wanting things I knew I shouldn’t.
“Sure.” She waved her hand to the bathroom door. “You know where it is. Help yourself to whatever.”
I nodded my thanks and escaped the bedroom. For some reason, I took my time. This going to bed with her every night was getting harder and harder to handle. I wanted her more every time we lay down next to each other. I admired her and ached and dreamed about something happening between us, even while I knew I shouldn’t.
Luckily, she was asleep when I finished my shower, so I was able to crawl onto my side and watch her for a while, before I whispered, “Thank you.”
That moment hours ago when I’d stood in the other bathroom, staring at those pills and feelings tempted, seemed like a lifetime ago. Bailey had made it all disappear and at the moment, I couldn’t even remember why I’d even had the thought. I certainly wouldn’t again, that was for sure. I had something to live for now. Something huge and important.
I was going to recover from this and come out better at the other end just so Bailey could claim with confidence how much she’d saved me.
I would do it all for her.
Chapter 23
BAILEY
“What the heck are you looking for?” Tess asked, sending me a strange glance.
I pulled back around to face the table we were sitting at with a sigh, realizing this really was the fifth time I’d scoped out the student union’s food court, searching for Beck, even though I knew he wouldn’t come near campus.
Damn, I was an idiot.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, only to whirl to her. “Are you sure he’s going to be okay out of the apartment today?”
Yesterday—Sunday—hadn’t been so bad. I’d only had to work in the morning at the store and Logan had been home then. He’d offered to stick around so Beck wouldn’t have to vacate the apartment. But today—Monday—we’d all had classes. So Beckett had waved me goodbye at the door when I’d left, letting me know he’d return in the evening when I was home again.
“I’m sure Beck will be fine.” Tess patted my arm, totally placating me. “He’s an adult. He can take care of himself for one day.”
I rolled my eyes. “Except the last time he left the apartment, he was beat up by the freaking cowboy.”
“The cowboy?” Tess shook her head and frowned in confusion. “Wait. Back up a second. Do you mean your cowboy? How the heck does he fit into all this?”
Ah, crap. I’d forgotten I hadn’t told her how my year-long cowboy obsession had fallen through. I mean, seriously though, how much humiliating stuff could I reveal about myself? It was bad enough she knew I was a voyeur. I didn’t want her realizing just how awful my snap judgement in that guy had been too. I liked Tess thinking good things about me, like I was loyal and stood up for people I believed in, not that I was a stupid idiot who made such bad choices.
But as she blinked at me, waiting for an answer, I sighed. “It turns out the cowboy’s name is Chance Fairfield. And he did belong in the same fraternity as Beckett.”
“Fairfield,” she said slowly, wrinkling her nose as if trying to recall why that name sounded familiar.
“As in Melody Fairfield,” I explained dryly. “The girl who cried rape on Beck. The cowboy’s her big brother.”
“Oh…” Tess’s mouth fell open. Then she gulped. “Oh my God, really?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. It needed no more explanation than that.
“Oh man.” She shook her head as if she couldn’t quite comprehend what I’d just told her, or maybe she comprehended it just fine and was realizing just how much this had to be affecting me. “Bailey, I—”
I lifted a hand to stop her, not wanting to hear the pity. “It’s fine,” I said, standing and grabbing my lunch tray to turn it in at the washing station.
Tess hurried after me. The best feature about her was that she didn’t press issues, something I appreciated greatly at the moment. Except as soon as we stepped from the student union, she looped her arm through mine, surprising me enough to send her a startled glance.
“Seriously, Bailey. Are you going to be okay? So much has been happening to you lately.”
An empty hopelessness weighed down heavily inside me. And for the briefest moment, I wondered if I really would ever be okay again. But just as quickly as the sensation came, it passed and I waved a hand. “I’ll be fine. You just worry too much.”
“I know, but this time it feels…”
When her voice trailed off, I glanced at her to realize she was squinting and staring past me at something. “I-isn’t that him?” She whispered the last word as if scandalized.
I whirled around, expecting to find Beckett. I was actually fully prepared to storm to him and demand to know what he was doing here on campus, endangering himself.
But Beck wasn’t the him Tess was referrin
g to.
Chance Fairfield strolled down the sidewalk toward us with none other than his sister Melody at his side. He hadn’t noticed us yet, but it was only a matter of seconds before he did.
“Holy hell,” I breathed. “Search for the guy for a year and nothing. But suddenly when I don’t want to see him anymore, he’s freaking everywhere. And with her of all people.”
“Her?” Tess’s eyes widened at they landed on Melody. “You mean…?”
I nodded. “His sister, yes.”
At that moment, both brother and sister looked up, spotting us.
“Let’s go this way,” I told Tess, hooking my arm through hers and dragging her off in any direction that would help us avoid the Fairfields. Except the cowboy darted into our path.
I tried to evade him again, steering Tess a different direction. But she wasn’t prepared for the sharp change in course and stumbled into me, slowing us both down enough for the cowboy to make a barricade of himself right in front of us. We jerked to a halt, Tess gasping her surprise at the way he glared at me.
As she shifted closer to me—probably to seek protection and give it both—Chance snarled, “What the fuck are you doing here?” He sported a black eye, courtesy of Beck, and I couldn’t help but feel a thrill knowing Beck had hurt him back.
“I go to this school,” I answered the obvious before sniffing and rolling my eyes. “Moron.”
Melody finally reached us, hearing the tail end of my “compliment.”
“Who the hell is this chunk?” she asked.
Tess took hold of my arm, obviously offended on my behalf, as Chance snickered and motioned to me with his chin before answering, “Don’t you know? This is the lying bitch who got Hilliard out of jail.”
Mouth dropping open and eyes bulging wide, Tess turned to ask, “Did he just call you what I think he just called you?”
I didn’t get a chance to answer before Melody interrupted us, squawking, “What? But she doesn’t have rainbow-colored hair.”
Wow, she was a quick one, she was.
I sent her a saccharine smile. “Well, some things change, sweetheart. Too bad my first impression of you didn’t. Turns out you really are a manipulative whore.”
“Hey,” Chance growled, stepping intimidatingly closer, which made Tess squeeze right up against me, her breathing picking up as she grew more anxious. “Watch your mouth, cunt. My sister’s been through enough.”
I bit the inside of my lip before nodding to agree. “You know, you’re right. I bet she has.” Meanwhile, I whipped my phone from my back pocket and slid my finger across the screen until I was looking up my videos. “I’m sure cheating on her boyfriend takes a lot out of a girl.”
Then I pressed play, making her caterwauling orgasm screech through the speakers of my phone.
“Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Beck. Right there. Right fucking there. Fuuuuck. It feels so good,” she bleated. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck—”
Gasping, Melody snagged the phone from my hand and threw it on the ground before crushing it under her boot heel.
It happened so fast I could only gape, with Tess standing frozen speechless next to me.
Even Chance looked struck dumb as he ogled the shattered phone. Then he lifted his eyes to his sister, and I could tell—hell, anyone watching could tell—he knew without a shadow of a doubt his precious sister was a liar.
She hadn’t been raped at all.
“If you showed this to anyone—” she started, pinning me with a death glare.
But I laughed in her face. “I showed it to the police, you idiot. How do you think I got Beck out of a jail? And why the hell did you send him there in the first place? Seriously, do you have any idea what your lie did to him? You destroyed another human being to keep yourself out of trouble. How do you sleep at night?”
Letting out a scream of outrage, Melody launched herself at us, but Tess and I kind of worked as one super-human to shove her back before she could strike. She lost her balance, tripping backwards before she landed on her ass.
That was all it took to piss off big brother.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch my sister.” He grabbed my wrist, hard, and yanked me toward him.
“No!” Tess shrieked, still hooking her arm through mine so that she was dragged with me.
The cowboy reared back his fist to strike when a shout from behind us stalled him short.
He glanced over our shoulders, then abruptly released me, snatched his sister from the ground and took off jogging away with her.
“What the hell is going on?” a panting Jonah demanded, reaching us a second later so he could yank Tess into his arms and hug her. “Who the fuck was that?”
“Oh my God. Oh my God, Jonah.” Tess burrowed into him, tucking her face under his chin and clutching him tight.
“Wha…?” He glanced meaningfully at me as he patted her back and smoothed her hair, his gaze demanding an explanation.
I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably. “Apparently, I’m such a badass now I have some violent enemies.”
“Violent is right.” Tess pulled away from her boyfriend to hurry to me and look me over as if I might actually have a wound.
I didn’t but I might later. That son of a bitch had squeezed hard enough to possibly leave a bruise.
“He was going to hit you. Oh my God, Bailey. We need to call campus police. We need to—” Her voice quivered and her hands shook. Her eyes looked wild with fear as tears pooled in her lashes.
I grabbed her shoulders to steady her and said evenly, “We need to calm you down first.”
I glanced pointedly at Jonah, who immediately stepped in and wrapped his arm around her from behind, kissing her hair before murmuring, “It’s okay, babe. I’ve got you. It’s okay now.”
When her breathing settled, and she calmed enough to close her eyes and sink back against him, I finally said, “I don’t want to call anyone about this.”
Tess’s eyes popped open. “But…no. That girl. She broke your phone. He grabbed your arm. He was going to hit you, Bailey. Hit you.”
“But I’d just have to explain why Melody broke my phone in the first place. And I’d really rather not.” I stared at her meaningfully, the fact sinking in that she now knew what I’d done, what’d I’d videotaped.
Oh hell. What had I been thinking? I knew I was impetuous, but pulling that phone out to shove it in Melody’s face, proving I had evidence of what a big fat liar she was, had probably been one of the rashest, worst things I’d ever done. Seemed like I was setting records on dumb, rash things lately. Now Tess knew I’d made a sex tape.
Tess, my best friend on earth…
The realization hit her, and she seemed to take a step backward away from me, her eyes revealing her shock and horror.
“Why did she break your phone?” Jonah asked innocently.
Both his girlfriend and I turned to him as if he’d asked the one question he should never ask.
“I’m going home,” I blurted, unconsciously rubbing my wrist and backing away from Tess and Jonah.
“But—” This time, Tess stopped herself from trying to talk me out of not contacting the campus police. Her eyes filled with sympathy. It made my heart kick.
“I’ll see you later,” I mumbled, whirling away and hurrying off.
For some stupid reason, I expected Beck to be there when I reached the apartment. But it wasn’t even noon and he didn’t think he was allowed to return until after three.
I retreated to my room, assuming a little time alone to myself would be best, but when I got there, I felt lonelier than ever. The strongest sensation lingering within the four walls was his absence.
How the hell had he managed to do that within three days? And what was I going to do when he found a life again away from here and left?
I sat on my bed, and blew out a breath, staring at the window that looked out onto the park. But the more I sat there, the more the events of the day caught up to me. I pressed the palms of my h
ands against my lap and began to smooth the fabric of my jean from my thighs to my knees and back again until my fingers became to tremble.
And then holy shit, suddenly, I was trembling all over, imagining what would have happened if Jonah hadn’t shown up when he had. Would the cowboy really have hit me? Would he have stopped at one punch? Could I be sporting a black eye like Beck right now? Or worse?
“Holy shit,” I whispered, pushing suddenly to my feet and pacing my room before going to my book bag and retrieving my shattered, mangled phone from the front pocket. I worked off the back and thankfully found the sims card inside unharmed. Thank God I had insurance and could get it replaced.
I spent the rest of the afternoon, calling the cell phone company from the apartment’s landline and getting a replacement ordered. Then I tried to work on some homework, but my mind was a scattered mess. This was going to be a bad semester for me, I could already tell. I never skipped class, and here I’d done it twice this week. And now I couldn’t concentrate on anything.
Anything but the fact that Tess knew I’d taken a video, and Jonah probably did too. Paige and Logan would no doubt be enlightened soon. I was so not looking forward to that. Plus, I’d almost gotten beaten up by a guy I’d had a ridiculous raging crush on for a year. And on top of that, I was becoming fixated on another dude who may or may not be suicidal and had a shit-ton of baggage to work through before he should even think about dating.
I was one pickle away from being a full barrel of whack.
* * *
By four, when Beck hadn’t returned yet, I found myself pacing the front room, worrying.
“I told you guys,” I muttered, chewing urgently on my fingernails. “He shouldn’t have been kicked out during the day. What if someone else beat him up? What if he just up and left town and never came back?”
“Well…” Logan shrugged. “He is an adult. He doesn’t have to come back.”
I scowled at him, making him shift cautiously backward. “What if he hurt himself?” I countered.
Jonah shrugged. “He seemed pretty insistent he wasn’t like that.” But my glare his way made him reconsider his words. After sending me a short frown, he let out a sigh and scrubbed a hand over his head before saying, “Fine. I’ll go look for him.”