I paced the living room of my childhood home as I tried to find the right words. My heels clicked against the hardwood floor, adding to the anxiety I was already feeling. It wasn’t every day you had to shake up your mother’s world; but what choice did I have? I needed to do something, and right now, it seemed like my only option.
My mother watched me from her chair, a frown plastered across her face. She knew something big was coming. Something she wasn’t going to like very much. Sometimes I wondered if I didn’t get my gift from her.
I took a deep breath and stopped pacing. If I was going to do this, I needed to start now. “I’m leaving, Mom.”
She sat there, not saying anything, waiting for me to explain myself.
“I’m moving to L.A. I’ve decided to become an actress,” I said with a flourish.
My mother’s frown disappeared. I knew she was waiting for the punch line.
I folded my arms over my chest, cocking my hip out. I knew it was the pose she hated, but it was my not-backing-down look and I needed it right now. “I’ve made up my mind, Mom. This is what I’m doing.”
She sighed when she realized how serious I was. “Maxie, darling,” she said, getting up from the chair. “Is this because of Stephen? I know this is difficult for you, but you still have a lot of options here.”
I stood there, glaring. I had finally decided to do something by myself and she writes it off as a side effect of being dumped. That was just great.
“You’re young,” she continued, “you’re beautiful. You’re rich. There are a lot of guys out there who would love to take Stephen’s place.” She stopped for a moment, the gears in her head turning so fast, I could almost hear them. “How about that Jefferson boy? He always had a thing for you.”
Yuck. Is that what my life had come to? “I am not dating Henry, Mother. He’s a complete idiot. It’s a wonder he can even tie his own shoes.”
“He’s a very sweet boy, Maxine. He has a guaranteed career with his grandfather’s company, and besides, he’s got people who can tie his shoes for him.”
“This is all a big joke to you, isn’t it?” I demanded.
“Well, what am I supposed to think? You tell me that you’re going to Hollywood to be an actress.” She looked at me with her own hands on her hips. Obviously, I knew where I got it. “It has to be some kind of a joke. You haven’t even acted once in your whole life. Now,” she said, dragging me over to the high-backed davenport. “Let’s both take a deep breath and calmly discuss what this is really about.”
I knew it was pointless to fight her on this. She needed to understand what my motives were. It’s not as if I had ever remotely considered any of this before. My mother always had my best intentions at heart, even if she had a strange way of showing it. I owed it to her to explain. I sat down next to her, taking her hand in mine. “I’m sorry you think this is just about Stephen. Some of it is. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I thought everything was planned out.”
“This happens to the best of us, dear. We just have to pick up the pieces and move on,” she said, giving my hand a squeeze.
I nodded. “That’s what I’m trying to do. All my life I tried to be what others wanted. It’s what I thought I wanted as well. But now that I’m free to stop and look at my life, I realize I want more. I don’t want to be just a rich man’s wife. I want people to know me for me.”
“That is the best thing I have ever heard you say,” my mother said, dabbing at her eyes. “But can’t you find your place here?”
“Here I have the painful reminder of what I was. I need a change. To go some place I can reinvent myself. I can’t do that here.”
Mom thought that over for a second. I knew she was beginning to understand. “Why an actress? Can’t we find you something a little more stable?”
I sighed. I knew this part was going to be a hard sell. “Face it, Mom. We both know there’s not a whole lot of options for someone like me. Can you really see me flipping burgers?”
She shook her head. “You won’t have to do that. Money will never be an issue for you.”
“That’s not the point. I want to do something. I want to be someone. I want to say I can stand on my own two feet if I had to. My looks are my best option. I can feel it. This is the path I’m meant to take.”
She studied me for a moment. “You really feel it? Your instincts tell you this is the right choice?”
I nodded, hope growing inside of me. Maybe my mother wouldn’t disown me after all.
“You know I’ve always had faith in your instincts. Okay. It looks like you’re going to have to start making arrangements. And don’t worry. Daddy and I will support you through all of this.”
I squealed as I threw my arms around her. Did I have the best mother in the world or what? “Thank you,” I said as I let her go. “I’ve got to make some calls.” I couldn’t believe this. It was really going to happen. I hurried to my room. There was so much to do. I was going to Hollywood!