“It’s locked.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Oh, only about a half an hour.”
“Don’t you know that everyone has a spare key hidden under their mat?” He chuckled and extended his hand toward her to help her stand. “Now, since I do know that, I keep my spare key in a much more secure place.” He reached up to the top of the doorjamb and swiped his hand along the narrow ridge there as she came to his side. His fingers brushed metal and he pulled the key down, presenting it to her with a flourish.
“I honestly can’t believe I locked the door when I left. I had so much stuff in my hands.” He smiled down at her, her beauty striking him right in the chest. She held his gaze, her eyes bright under the porch light and her cheeks tinged with pink because of the chill in the air.
She didn’t fit the key into the lock and go inside but held his gaze. The desire to kiss her made his whole body tingle, and he let his natural instincts take over.
He lifted his hand and cradled her face, bent down slowly, ever so slowly so she could stop him if she wanted to. He closed his eyes and heard her whisper something, but it wasn’t loud enough for him to decipher.
And then his mouth grazed hers and lightning struck his heart. She’d given her permission by not pulling back or pushing him away, and Adam kissed her properly the second time his lips touched hers, his other hand curling around her waist and keeping her close.
He barely had time to think about what he was doing when the kiss ended. His eyes flew open and met hers, and the powerful electricity flowing between them made Adam feel more alive than he ever had.
He had no idea what to say and she didn’t seem to either as the silence stretched. At least it wasn’t an awkward silence. She broke their connection and laid her cheek against his chest, a sigh passing from her and into him.
“Okay?” he finally got up the courage to ask.
She giggled and wrapped both arms around him. “Okay.”
“So we can go in?” he asked. “I’m starting to freeze out here.”
She extracted herself from his arms and fumbled the key in the lock, finally fitting it in and opening the door. The dogs streaked past her and he waited for her to enter first.
“It’s late,” he said. “Aren’t you tired?”
“I have tomorrow off,” she said.
“I thought you had to work Wednesdays for the next few weeks because of the beach weekend.”
“I begged off tomorrow.” She drew in a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m just going to lie around in sweats and drink hot cocoa.” She glanced at him and laughed. “I should probably hide those flaws, shouldn’t I?”
Adam set his wallet and keys on the kitchen counter and said, “You don’t have many flaws, Janey. If wearing sweats on your day off is one of them, I think you’re doin’ just fine.” He flashed her a smile, his earlier exhaustion returning. He yawned and unhooked his police belt, ready to be in sweats himself.
“I stay up late and read in bed,” she said with a small laugh. “But I can see you’re tired. I just wanted to...I don’t know. See you, I guess.”
Adam leaned his hip into the countertop. “You wanted to see me?”
She gave him a coy smile that made his pulse beat irregularly. “I wanted to see you, so I came to see you.”
“Well, you’ve seen me, and it’s late, and with your car in my driveway all the time, I don’t think this relationship is going to stay private much longer.”
“No, probably not.” She inched closer. “Do we have time for soup now, or do you not eat at eleven o’clock at night?”
“You know eating this late is bad for your digestive system, right?”
“I eat pretzels and chocolate chips until two a.m. pretty regularly.”
Surprise and delight bolted through Adam and he tipped his head back and laughed. “So soup is nothing. I’ll heat it up.” He went about making her a hot, pretty bowl of soup while she told him about her Tuesday hike to some waterfalls.
“And I want you to come sometime,” she said.
“I don’t know if I can get away on Tuesday.”
“We can go anytime,” she said. “Jess likes the hike and we can take a lunch or something.”
“What about this weekend?” He sprinkled the nuts and other toppings on the soup and slid it over to her.
“We can go on my lunch hour,” she said, picking up her spoon.
“And Jess can ride over here in the morning, and we’ll cook.” He wasn’t really asking, though they hadn’t made plans. “What does he normally do on the weekends?”
“Oh, he sleeps late, and then he’s usually home alone on Saturdays. On Sunday, Gretchen usually takes him out the lavender farm or over to her place.”
“He can come here anytime,” Adam offered. “I think he likes it here.”
Janey rolled her eyes. “You think? He talks about your dogs and your motorcycle non-stop. You’re like a god to him.”
Adam blinked, unsure if he should laugh or scoff or what. She dished up a bite of soup and put it in her mouth, a moan emanating from her throat a moment later.
“Oh, yeah.” She nodded. “That’s the winner right there.”
Chapter Seventeen
Janey wanted to curl into Adam’s side on his couch and watch whatever he put on, but he seemed a couple of minutes away from passing out. So she finished her soup and put on her coat. He walked her to the door, and she wanted to kiss him again.
So, just like she’d done to get herself to his house tonight, she didn’t think. She acted. Tipping up on her toes, she kissed him, taking a few extra seconds to really experience him before pulling away.
“See you tomorrow?” she asked.
“I thought you were going to drink hot cocoa in your sweats all day.”
“I think I can spare an hour for lunch. Do you want to go out here in town? Really make everything known?”
A flash of alarm passed through his eyes. There, then gone. “Sure,” he said. “Do you like Mexican food?”
“I never say no to chips and salsa.”
“Great, I’ll call you.” He opened the door and leaned into the doorjamb with one arm. “My schedule is a little unpredictable.”
“All right, let me know.” She trailed her fingers along his chest before stepping out into the cold night. By the time she got home and slid under her covers with her e-reader, a slight sense of panic had descended upon her.
She’d snuck out of the house after her teenager was asleep, to go meet her boyfriend, and kiss him on his front porch. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, pulled against her panic. And what a kiss it had been. Beautiful, and slow, and filled with emotion.
“So nothing to worry about,” she told herself. Jess had been fine here alone. And she’d gotten to see Adam.
She started reading, and when Jess woke her in the morning, her device had been wedged under her arm somehow. “I can drive you,” she said, flinging the covers off.
“It’s fine. I’m skating over with Thayne and Greg.”
“Greg?” Janey padded after him and entered the kitchen, where Jess grabbed a couple of slices of toast from the counter. “Who’s Greg?”
“Greg Grigsby,” he said. “His mom works at the school, remember?”
“She’s a counselor, right?”
“Right.” Jess stepped past her and headed for the front door.
“Are you okay to go to Adam’s this weekend to cook? He asked if you wanted to come on Saturday.”
“Yeah, fine.” Jess opened the door and left without looking back. Janey sighed, wishing she’d set her alarm and gotten up so she could spend longer than thirty seconds having a conversation mostly with herself.
The door opened, and Jess ran back in.
“Did you forget something?”
He hugged her and said, “Bye, Mom. Love you,” before ducking his head and retracing his steps.
Janey smiled after him, wondering what she’d done to get suc
h a good son. “He’s just like Matt,” she muttered. Good-natured. Kind. He could use some lessons in hard work, but he seemed to do okay in school, and he worked around the farm when he went out there with Joel and Drew and Donna.
She did stay in her pajamas for a while, and she sipped hot chocolate while she watched the sun melt the fog. Then she showered and got dressed and went over to her mom’s house. She hadn’t visited with her in a while, and she tried to get over to see her, assess any household needs she had, and let them visit with Jess as often as she could stand it. With her dad gone now, sometimes her mom didn’t take care of things the way she should.
“Mom?” she called as she pushed through the front door. They lived in an old brick house, the same one where Janey had grown up, on the northeast side of town. She lived in almost a straight diagonal line from them, closer to the Lavender Highway and thus the National Park.
“Janey?” Her mom perked up from her spot in the recliner. She set aside her sewing and stood. “What are you doing here?”
“Just came to say hello.” She glanced around. Everything seemed to be okay. There were no foul smells in the air, and nothing seemed to be about to explode.
“Where’s Jess?”
“Oh, he’s at school. It’s Wednesday, Mom. My day off.” She followed her mom into the kitchen.
“Coffee?” Her mom bustled around, already filling the coffee pot.
Though her mom didn’t make great coffee, Janey said, “Sure,” and opened the fridge to see what was inside.
Not much. No cream. No milk.
“Mom, do you need to go to the grocery store?”
“Oh, I’m not going there anymore.”
Janey let the fridge swing shut. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, they were rude to me last time I was there, and I’m not going back.” She set the empty pot on the burner, her eyes flashing.
“Rude to you? At the grocery store? What happened?” And where did she think she was going to get groceries? There was only one store in town that had everything she needed. Sure, she could try Duality and probably get the staples. But they didn’t sell fresh fruit or vegetables.
As her mom ranted about the boy who’d offered to help her take her groceries to her car, Janey realized she was confused. “Mom, he was helping you.”
“He didn’t bring them out.”
“You told him not to.”
“I did not. I said....” She turned from the cabinet. “I can’t remember what I said.”
“Mom, you have to get groceries. You don’t have anything to eat.”
“Oh, I’m fine. I’ve got loads of stuff in the storage room downstairs.” She waved away Janey’s concerns, the same way she always did.
Exasperation filled her. “Mom, you can’t go up and down the stairs.” Her oldest sister’s husband was supposed to come move everything upstairs for their mother a few months ago—and lock the door that led to the basement. “Do you want to have another hip replacement?”
“Oh, I’m fine.” She set the sugar bowl on the counter with a little too much force, causing the lid to rattle against the bowl.
Janey gritted her teeth. Nothing irritated her more than her mother telling her she was fine. The evidence said she wasn’t fine. “Didn’t Bruce come and put all the food storage in the utility room?”
“Oh, that’s right,” she said. “See? I don’t go up and down the stairs.”
But Janey was a mother of a teenager, and she could spot a lie from a mile away. She accepted the mug of coffee and put in as much sugar as she could stand since there was no milk or cream. After sipping and making small talk for a few minutes, she said, “I need to use the bathroom.”
She moved down the hall and went in the bathroom. Then, quietly, she opened the door again and darted over to the door that led to the basement. It had very clearly been sealed off at some point. But her mother had obviously taken the nails out and was definitely going downstairs for some reason.
Janey slipped through the door as quietly as she could and tiptoed into the basement. Her father had finished it himself, to make room for all the kids. Once it was done, Janey had gotten her own room down here, and she’d loved it.
Her old room held a few things from her childhood she’d never claimed. Nothing important. Junk that should be thrown away. Still, she enjoyed the memories of playing the clarinet in the band and the dance costumes she’d thought were too extravagant to throw away.
Annabelle’s room had been down here too, and it sat spotless and empty. The bathroom had a note on the door that said, The water’s been turned off in here. Do not use!
It looked like Bruce’s handwriting, and Janey made a mental note to call him and let him know that his handiwork had been undone. The furnace room contained a couple of filters, and nothing else. The living room was empty.
So what was her mother doing coming down here?
Janey glanced up the steps as she passed them, darting into the storage room and closing the door. She used to sneak her friends down here every summer to get popsicles out of the deep chest freezer in this room.
She opened it, and the scent of warm rubber met her nose. She wrinkled it and closed the lid on the empty, unplugged freezer. The shelves her father had built to hold her mother’s canning, big bags of flour and sugar, and buckets of oats were all empty. Bruce had come over and moved everything upstairs, just as Janey had thought he had.
The only thing in the storage room was a bookcase, with an old rocking chair next to it. Her mother had told all four girls that she’d sat in that chair and rocked them to sleep at night when they were babies.
Janey touched the top of it, setting it into motion. It was clear this was where her mother had been coming. Baby books and photo albums lined the shelves, none of them out of place. She sat down in the rocking chair, this memory corner of the house so quiet and peaceful.
She thought of Matt, bracing herself for the powerful, debilitating emotions that came whenever she conjured up a picture of him in her mind.
Today, though, she rocked and smiled, no tears in sight.
“I’ve moved on,” she whispered to the cement storage room. The idea was as wonderful as it was sad, and she let herself experience both emotions.
“Janey?” Her mother’s voice broke Janey’s solitude, and she leapt from the rocker.
“I’m coming,” she called as she went up the steps. She pulled the door closed behind her and went back into the kitchen. “Mom, you really can’t go up and down the steps.” She picked up her coffee mug and took a sip, keeping her eyes on her mom. “I’ll bring that rocker and bookcase up this weekend, okay?”
Her mother pressed her lips together and nodded, hiding behind her own coffee cup.
“Well, I can’t. I have to work. But I’ll send over my boyfriend.”
Her mom wasn’t so far gone that she didn’t understand what it meant for Janey to have a boyfriend. She whipped her attention to her and said, “What?”
“I’m dating the Chief of Police,” Janey said with a smile. “Big, strapping man named Adam Herrin. He and Jess will come over on Saturday and bring up the photo albums and the rocking chair. Okay?”
Her mother patted her flat curls as if she’d be meeting a king this weekend. “Oh, my. The Chief of Police.”
Janey laughed, feeling happier than she had in a long time.
“What kind of apples?” she asked her mom, a plastic bag at the ready and dozens of apple varieties spread out before her at the grocery store.
“Fuji and gala,” her mom said.
Janey bagged them up for her and walked ahead of the cart to get a couple of cucumbers. “Then you can have that salad you like,” she told her mom.
They went up and down the aisles, slowly filling a cart almost all the way to the top. Janey had finally gotten out of her mom that she hadn’t been to the store in five weeks. She’d vowed to check in on her more often. It wasn’t like it was hard. A few miles separated them, and Ja
ney had two days off every week. She could probably do her mother’s shopping for her from now on.
“Bread?” she asked, finally in the last aisle. “Wheat or white?”
Her mom acted like she hadn’t spoken. “Mom,” Janey said louder. “Wheat or white?”
“Oh, wheat.”
Janey picked out a loaf that looked good and put it in the cart. “Anything else?”
“Did I get ice cream?”
“Yes, mom. Two different kinds.” And that had taken several minutes of Janey yelling the flavors out for her mom to pick from.
A pair of women went by, both of them looking at Janey with wide smiles on their faces. She searched her memory to see if she knew them, but came up blank.
Shrugging it off, she swung the cart around. “Oh, what about cat food?” Her mom had a little black cat named Peanut. He only liked her mother, and he usually hid when anyone else came over.
“Rat food? Why would I feed a rat?”
“Cat food, Mom. Cat.” Janey’s throat was starting to feel raw from all the yelling. “For Peanut.”
“Oh, right. Peanut. He likes scrambled eggs.”
She hadn’t had any eggs, so Janey had no idea what her mom had been feeding the cat. She pushed the heavy cart back a few aisles to the pet food. Another woman stared right at her, not even trying to hide it.
Janey wondered if she’d forgotten to do up one of her buttons on her blouse, but when she checked, all was well. So what was everyone staring at?
She got the cat food and some new kitty litter, and started for the check stand. It seemed like every eye in the place found her and held on. Surely she was just imagining things. She was no one special.
The girl started ringing them up, and all at once, her face brightened. “Are you Janey Germaine?”
Again, Janey tried to figure out how she knew this Carol ringing up her mother’s groceries. Maybe she’d come out to the lodge at some point. But no, she didn’t know her.
“Yes,” she said slowly. Maybe she was one of Jess’s friend’s mothers. Or maybe—
“You’re dating Chief Herrin, aren’t you?” The woman looked absolutely giddy as she slid a can of black beans over the scanner.