THE FIRST GOD: We may still come across good people at any moment. We cannot expect to have things all our own way.
THE THIRD GOD: The resolution says: the world can go on as it is if we find enough good people, able to lead a decent human existence. The water-seller himself is such a person, if I am not deceived.
He goes up to Wang, who is still standing uncertain.
THE SECOND GOD: He is always deceived. When the water man let us drink out of his measure I saw something. Look.
He shows it to the first god.
THE FIRST GOD: It has got a false bottom.
THE SECOND GOD: A swindler.
THE FIRST GOD: Very well, we strike him out. But what does it matter if one man is corrupted? We shall soon find plenty who fulfil the conditions. We must find someone. For two thousand years we have been hearing the same complaint, that the world cannot go on as it is. No one can stay on earth and remain good. We must at last be able to show some people who are in a position to keep our commandments.
THE THIRD GOD, to Wang: Is it too difficult for you to find us a place?
WANG: Such guests as you? What are you thinking of? It is my fault that you were not taken in immediately; I am a bad guide.
THE THIRD GOD: Not that, certainly.
He turns back to the others.
WANG: They have begun to realise. He accosts a gentleman: Honoured sir, forgive me for addressing you, but three of the highest gods, whose impending advent has been the talk of all Szechwan for years, have now really arrived and are looking for a place to spend the night. Don’t walk away. Look for yourself. One glance will convince you. For heaven’s sake do something about it. It’s the chance of a lifetime! Invite the gods to visit your home before someone else snaps them up; they are sure to accept.
The gentleman has walked on. Wang turns to another. You, sir, you heard what it’s about. Have you any room? It needn’t be palatial. The intention is what matters.
THE GENTLEMAN: How am I to tell what sort of gods yours are? Heaven knows who I might be letting into my house.
He goes into a tobacconist’s. Wang runs back to the three.
WANG: I have found somebody who is sure to take you.
He sees his measure on the ground, looks embarrassedly at the gods, picks it up and runs back again.
THE FIRST GOD: That does not sound encouraging.
WANG, as the man steps out of the shop: What about the accommodation?
THE GENTLEMAN: How do you know I’m not living in rooms myself?
THE FIRST GOD: He will find nothing. We had better write Szechwan off too.
WANG: It’s three of the chief gods. Truly. Their images in the temples are just like them. If you get your invitation in now they might perhaps accept.
THE GENTLEMAN laughs: I suppose they’re a lot of prize swindlers you’re trying to foist off on someone.
Off.
WANG, shouting after him: You swivel-eyed chiseller! Have you no reverence? You’ll all roast in brimstone for your lack of interest. The gods crap on the lot of you. And you’ll be sorry for it. You shall pay for it unto the fourth generation. You have disgraced the whole province. Pause. That leaves us with Shen Teh the prostitute; she can’t refuse.
He calls ‘Shen Teh!’ Shen Teh looks out of the window above.
They’ve arrived, and I can’t find them a room. Could you possibly have them for one night?
SHEN TEH: Not much hope, Wang. I am expecting someone.
But how is it that you can’t find a room for them?
WANG: I can’t explain now. Szechwan is nothing but one big muck-heap.
SHEN TEH: I should have to hide when he arrives. Then he might go away. He was supposed to be taking me out.
WANG: Can we come up in the meantime?
SHEN TEH: If you don’t talk too loudly. Do I have to be careful what I say?
WANG: Very. They mustn’t find out how you earn your living. We had better wait downstairs. But you won’t be going off with him, will you?
SHEN TEH: I’ve had no luck lately, and if I can’t find the rent by tomorrow they’ll throw me out.
WANG: You shouldn’t think of money at a moment like this.
SHEN TEH: I don’t know: I’m afraid that a rumbling stomach is no respecter of persons. But very well, I will take them in.
She is seen to put out her light.
THE FIRST GOD: It looks hopeless to me.
They go up to Wang.
WANG, startled to see them standing behind him: You are fixed up for the night.
He wipes the sweat off his face.
THE GODS: Really? Then let us go.
WANG: There is no great hurry. Take your time. The room is not quite ready.
THE THIRD GOD: Very good, we will sit here and wait.
WANG: But isn’t there too much traffic here? Let’s cross the road.
THE SECOND GOD: We like looking at people. That is exactly what we came for.
WANG: It’s a windy spot.
THE THIRD GOD: Does this seem all right to you?
They sit on a doorstep. Wang sits on the ground somewhat to one side.
WANG, with a rush: You are lodging with a girl who lives on her own. She is the best person in Szechwan.
THE THIRD GOD: That is gratifying.
WANG, to the audience: When I picked up my mug just then they gave me a peculiar look. Do you think they noticed anything? I daren’t look them in the face any longer.
THE THIRD GOD: You seem exhausted.
WANG: A little. I have been running.
THE FIRST GOD: Do people here find life very hard?
WANG: Good people do.
THE FIRST GOD, seriously: Do you?
WANG: I know what you mean. I am not good. But I too find life hard.
Meanwhile a gentleman has appeared in front of Shen Teh’s house and whistled a number of times. Each time Wang gives a nervous jerk.
THE THIRD GOD, in an undertone to Wang: It looks as if he has given up.
WANG, confused: It does.
He jumps up and runs into the open, leaving his carrying-pole behind. But the following has occurred: the man waiting has gone off and Sheh Teh, after opening the door quietly and calling ‘Wang!’ in a low voice, has gone down the street in search of Wang. When Wang in turn calls ‘Shen Teh!’ in a low voice he gets no reply.
WANG: She has let me down. She has gone off to get the money for the rent, and I have no place for the Illustrious Ones. They are waiting there, exhausted. I cannot go back yet again and tell them: no good, sorry. My own sleeping place under the culvert is out of the question. And I am sure the gods would not care to lodge with a man whose dirty business they have seen through. I would not go back for anything in the world. But my carrying-pole is still there. What shall I do? I dare not fetch it. I shall leave the capital and find somewhere where I can hide from their eyes, for I failed to do anything to help those I honour.
He hurries away. As soon as he has gone, Shen Teh returns, searches for him on the opposite side and sees the gods.
SHEN TEH: Are you the Illustrious Ones? My name is Shen Teh. I should be happy if you consented to make do with my small room.
THE THIRD GOD: But where has the water-seller disappeared to?
SHEN TEH: I must have missed him.
THE FIRST GOD: He probably thought you were not coming, and then felt too scared to come back to us.
THE THIRD GOD picks up the carrying-pole: We will ask you to look after it. He needs it.
They enter the house led by Shen Teh. It grows dusk, then light again. In the half-light of the dawn the gods again leave the door, led by Shen Teh guiding them with a lantern. They take their leave.
THE FIRST GOD: Dear Shen Teh, we are grateful for your hospitality. We shall not forget that it was you who took us in. Will you give the water-seller his pole back? And tell him that we are grateful to him too for having shown us a good person.
SHEN TEH: I am not good. I have an admission to make: when Wan
g asked me if I could shelter you I had hesitations.
THE FIRST GOD: Hesitations do not count if you overcome them. Know that you gave us more than a lodging. There are many, including even certain of us gods, who have begun to doubt whether such a thing as a good person still exists. To check up was the main object of our journey. We are now happy to continue it, for we have succeeded in finding one. Farewell.
SHEN TEH: Wait, Illustrious Ones. I am by no means sure that I am good. I should certainly like to be, but how am I to pay the rent? Let me admit: I sell myself in order to live, and even so I cannot manage, for there are so many forced to do this. I would take on anything, but who would not? Of course I should like to obey the commandments: to honour my parents and respect the truth. Not to covet my neighbour’s house would be a joy to me, and to love, honour and cherish a husband would be very pleasant. Nor do I wish to exploit other men or to rob the defenceless. But how can it be done? Even by breaking one or two of the commandments I can barely manage.
THE FIRST GOD: All these, Shen Teh, are but the doubts of a good person.
THE THIRD GOD: Goodbye, Shen Teh. And give our warmest greetings to the water-seller. He was a good friend to us.
THE SECOND GOD: I fear we did but little good to him.
THE THIRD GOD: The best of luck.
THE FIRST GOD: Above all, be good, Shen Teh. Goodbye.
They turn to go. They begin to wave goodbye.
SHEN TEH, nervously: But I am not certain of myself, Illustrious Ones. How can I be good when everything is so expensive?
THE SECOND GOD: Alas, that is beyond our powers. We cannot meddle in the sphere of economics.
THE THIRD GOD: Wait! Just a minute. If she were better provided she might stand more chance.
THE SECOND GOD: We cannot give her anything. We could not answer for it up there.
THE FIRST GOD: Why not?
They put their heads together and confer animatedly.
THE FIRST GOD, awkwardly, to Shen Teh: We understand that you have no money for the rent. We are not poor people, so it is natural that we should pay for our lodging. Here you are. He gives her money. But please let nobody know that we paid. It might be misinterpreted.
THE SECOND GOD: Only too easily.
THE THIRD GOD: No, it is permissible. We can quite well pay for our lodging. There was nothing against it in the resolution. So fare you well.
The gods exeunt rapidly.
1
A small Tobacconist’s
The shop is not yet properly installed, and not yet open.
SHEN TEH, to the audience: It is now three days since the gods left. They told me they wanted to pay for their lodgings. And when I looked at what they had given me I saw that it was more than a thousand silver dollars. I have used the money to buy a tobacconist’s business. I moved in here yesterday, and now I hope to be able to do a great deal of good. Look at Mrs Shin, for instance, the old owner of the shop. Yesterday she came to ask for rice for her children. And today I again see her bringing her pot across the square.
Enter Mrs Shin. The women bow to one another.
SHEN TEH: Good evening, Mrs Shin.
MRS SHIN: Good evening, Miss Shen Teh. What do you think of your new home?
SHEN TEH: I like it. How did the children spend the night?
MRS SHIN: Oh, in someone’s house, if you can call that shack a house. The baby’s started coughing.
SHEN TEH: That’s bad.
MRS SHIN: You don’t know what’s bad. You’ve got it good. But you’ll find plenty to learn in a dump like this. The whole district’s a slum.
SHEN TEH: That is right what you told me, though? That the cement workers call in here at midday?
MRS SHIN: But not a customer otherwise, not even the locals.
SHEN TEH: You didn’t tell me that when you sold me the business.
MRS SHIN: That’s right: throw it in my face. First you take the roof away over the children’s heads, and then it’s nothing but dump and slum. It’s more than I can bear.
She weeps.
SHEN TEH, quickly: I’ll get your rice.
MRS SHIN: I was going to ask you if you could lend me some money.
SHEN TEH, as she pours rice into her bowl: I can’t do that. I haven’t sold anything yet.
MRS SHIN: But I need it. What am I to live on? You’ve taken everything I’ve got. Now you’re cutting my throat. I’ll leave my children on your door-step, you bloodsucker!
She snatches the pot from her hands.
SHEN TEH: Don’t be so bad-tempered. You’ll spill your rice.
Enter an elderly couple and a shabbily dressed man.
THE WOMAN: Ah, Shen Teh, my dear, we heard you were doing so nicely now. Why, you’ve set up in business! Just fancy, we’re without a home. Our tobacconist’s shop has folded up. We wondered if we mightn’t spend a night with you. You know my nephew? He can’t abide being separated from us.
THE NEPHEW, looking round: Smashing shop.
MRS SHIN: Who’s this lot?
SHEN TEH: When I arrived here from the country they were my first landlords. To the audience: When my small funds ran out they threw me on the street. They are probably frightened that I will say no. They are poor.
They have no shelter.
They have no friends.
They need someone.
How can they be refused?
Addressing the woman in a friendly voice: Welcome to you, I will gladly give you lodging. But all I have is a tiny room at the back of the shop.
THE MAN: That’ll do us. Don’t you worry. While Shen Teh fetches them tea: We’d better move in behind here, so as not to be in your way. I suppose you picked on a tobacconist’s to remind you of your first home? We’ll be able to give you one or two tips. That’s another reason for coming to you.
MRS SHIN, sardonically: Let’s hope one or two customers come too.
THE WOMAN: Is that meant for us?
THE MAN: Sh. Here’s a customer already.
Enter a tattered man.
THE UNEMPLOYED MAN: Excuse me, miss, I’m out of a job.
Mrs Shin laughs.
SHEN TEH: What can I do for you?
THE UNEMPLOYED MAN: They say you’re opening up tomorrow. I thought people sometimes find things in bad condition when they unpack them. Can you spare a fag?
THE WOMAN: What cheek, begging for tobacco. ‘Tisn’t as if it had been bread.
THE UNEMPLOYED MAN: Bread’s expensive. A few puffs at a fag and I’m a new man. I’m so done in.
SHEN TEH gives him cigarettes: That’s very important, being a new man. I shall open up with you, you’ll bring me luck.
The unemployed man hastily lights a cigarette, inhales and goes off coughing.
THE WOMAN: Was that wise, my dear?
MRS SHIN: If that’s how you open up you’ll be closing down before three days are out.
THE MAN: I bet he had money on him all right.
SHEN TEH: But he said he hadn’t anything.
THE NEPHEW: How do you know he wasn’t having you on?
SHEN TEH, worked up: How do I know he was having me on?
THE WOMAN, shaking her head: She can’t say no. You’re too good, Shen Teh. If you want to hang on to your shop you’d better be able to refuse sometimes.
THE MAN: Say it isn’t yours. Say it belongs to a relation and he insists on strict accounts. Why not try it?
MRS SHIN: Anyone would who didn’t always want to play Lady Bountiful.
SHEN TEH laughs: Grumble away. The room won’t be available and the rice goes back in the sack.
THE WOMAN, shocked: Is the rice yours too?
SHEN TEH, to the audience:
They are bad.
They are no man’s friend.
They grudge even a bowl of rice.
They need it all themselves.
How can they be blamed?
Enter a little man.
MRS SHIN sees him and leaves hurriedly: I’ll look in tomorrow then. Off.
THE LITTLE MAN starts after her: Hey, Mrs Shin! Just the person I want.
THE WOMAN: Does she come regularly? Has she got some claim on you?
SHEN TEH: No claim, but she’s hungry: and that’s more important.
THE LITTLE MAN: She knows why she’s running away. Are you the new proprietress? I see you’re stocking up your shelves. But they aren’t yours, let me tell you. Unless you pay for them. That old ragamuffin who was squatting here didn’t pay. To the others: I’m the carpenter, see?
SHEN TEH: But I thought that was part of the fittings I paid for.
THE CARPENTER: Crooks. A pack of crooks. You and this Mrs Shin are thick as thieves. I want my 100 silver dollars, or my name’s not Lin To.
SHEN TEH: How can I pay? I’ve got no money left.
THE CARPENTER: Then I’ll have you sold up! On the spot. Pay on the spot or you’ll be sold up.
THE MAN prompts Shen Teh: Your cousin …
SHEN TEH: Can’t you make it next month?
THE CARPENTER, shouting: No.
SHEN TEH: Don’t be too hard, Mr Lin To. I can’t satisfy all demands at once. To the audience:
A slight connivance, and one’s powers are doubled.
Look how the cart-horse stops before a tuft of grass:
Wink one eye for an instant and the horse pulls better.
Show but a little patience in June and the tree
By August is sagging with peaches. How
But for patience could we live together?
A brief postponement
Brings the most distant goal within reach.
To the carpenter: Please be patient, just a little, Mr Lin To.
THE CARPENTER: And who is going to be patient with me and my family? He pulls some of the shelving away from the wall, as if to take it down. You pay, else I take the shelves with me.
THE WOMAN: My dear Shen Teh, why don’t you refer the whole thing to your cousin? To the carpenter: Put your claim in writing, and Miss Shen Teh’s cousin will pay.
THE CARPENTER: We all know those cousins.
THE NEPHEW: Don’t stand there laughing like an idiot. He’s a personal friend of mine.
THE MAN: He’s sharp as a knife.
THE CARPENTER: All right, he’ll get my bill.