IX.
_FAITH._
"Nursey," said Bessie, the next morning, as nurse was putting on hershoes and stockings, after giving her her bath, "I can't think how itis."
"How what is, dear?"
"About the Trinity."
"Well!" said nurse. "The Trinity! and what put that into your head?"
"It's not in my head," said Bessie; "I can't get it there. I try andtry to think how it can be, and I can't. Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,three Persons and one God," she repeated, slowly; "how can it be,nursey? I know the Father means our Father in heaven, and the Son meansJesus, and the Holy Ghost means Heavenly Spirit; but there's only oneGod, and I don't understand."
"And wiser heads than yours can't understand it, my lamb," saidnurse; "don't bother your little brains about that. It's just oneof those things we must take upon faith; we must believe it withoutunderstanding it. Don't you think about it any more till you are older."
But Bessie did think about it; and her thoughtful little face lookedmore grave and earnest than usual all that day. Mamma wondered what shewas considering, but said nothing, for she was sure that Bessie wouldsoon come to her if she was in any difficulty.
"What are you thinking about, Bessie?" asked the colonel thatafternoon, when she was in his room. He was much better, and wassitting up in his easy-chair.
"What is faith?" asked Bessie, answering his question by another, andturning her great serious, brown eyes on his face. The colonel lookedsurprised.
"Faith?" he said. "Why, to have faith in a person is to believe in himand trust in him."
Bessie did not look satisfied.
"When you first went in bathing," said the colonel, "did you not feelafraid?"
"No, sir," answered Bessie.
"Why not? Did you not fear that those great waves would wash you awayand drown you?"
"No, sir; before I went in, I thought I would be very 'fraid; but papasaid he would carry me in his arms, and wouldn't let me be drownded."
"And did you believe him?"
"Why, yes," answered Bessie, opening her eyes very wide at thisquestion; "my father don't tell stories."
"And you were not afraid when he carried you in his arms?"
"No, sir."
"That was faith,--faith in your father. You believed what he told you,and trusted in his care."
Bessie still looked puzzled.
"Well," said the colonel, "don't you understand yet?"
"I don't know how it is about things," said the little girl.
"What things?"
"Things that I don't know how they can be."
"Do you mean, Bessie," said Mrs. Rush, "that you do not know how tohave faith in what you do not understand?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"See here, little old head on young shoulders," said the colonel,drawing Bessie closer to him, and seeming much amused, "when I told youthat this box would make sweet music, did you believe me?"
"Yes, sir."
"Did you understand how it could?"
"No, sir."
"Do you know what this paper-knife is made of?"
"No, sir."
"It is made of the shell of a fish; do you believe it?"
"Why, yes," answered Bessie.
"But you did not see it made; how can you believe it?"
"'Cause you tell me so."
"Well, then, that is faith; you believe what I say, even when youcannot understand how it is, because you trust me, or have faith in me,for you know I never tell you anything that is not true. If I sometimestold you what is false, you could not have faith in me; could you?"
"No," said the little girl, "but you never would tell me _falses_."
"Indeed, I would not, my pet," he said, smiling, and twisting one ofher curls over his finger.
She stood for a few minutes, as if thinking over what he had told her,and then, her whole face lighting up, she said, "Oh, yes, I know now! Ibelieve what papa tells me when he says he'll take care of me, 'causehe always tells me true, and I know he can do it; and that's faith; andI believe what you tell me, 'cause you tell me true; and that's faith;and we believe what God tells us, even if we can't understand how itcan be, 'cause he tells us what is true; and that's faith. Now I knowwhat nursey meant."
"What did nurse say, dear?" asked Mrs. Rush.
"She said we must have faith about three Persons in one God, andbelieve what we could not understand; but I think I do understand aboutthat too. I thinked about it when I was sitting on the yocks thismorning, and I am going to ask mamma if it is yight."
"And what do you think about it, Bessie?"
"Why," said Bessie, holding up her little finger, "don't you knowI have a silver three cent piece? Well, there's three pennies init--mamma said so,--but it's only one piece of money, and I supposeit's somehow that way about three Persons in one God,--Father, Son, andHoly Ghost,--three Persons in one God."[A]
If the colonel had looked surprised before, he looked still more sonow, while Mrs. Rush laid down her work and gazed at the child.
"Who told you that, Bessie?" she asked.
"Oh, nobody," said Bessie, innocently; "I just thinked it; maybe it isnot yight. I couldn't ask mamma about it all day, 'cause she was busy,or some one came to see her; and I don't like to ask her things whensomebody is there."
Mrs. Rush looked out of the window by which she sat, and seemed to bewatching the sea; and Bessie stood, softly patting the colonel's kneewith her hand, while for a moment or two no one spoke. Suddenly Bessielooked up in the colonel's face.
"Colonel Yush," she said, "don't you have a great deal of faith?"
"In some people, Bessie," he answered. "I have a great deal of faith inmy little wife, and a great deal in my pet Bessie, and some few others."
"Oh, I mean in our Father," she said. "I should think you'd have morefaith than 'most anybody, 'cause he took such good care of you in thebattles."
"What?" said the colonel, "when my leg was shot off?"
Bessie did not know whether he was in earnest or not, but she did notthink it was a thing to joke about, and he did not look very wellpleased, though he laughed a little when he spoke.
"Oh, don't make fun about it," she said, "I don't think He would likeit. He could have let you be killed if He chose, but He didn't; andthen He took such care of you all that night, and let your men comeand find you. Don't you think He did it 'cause He wanted you to loveHim more than you did before? Oh, I know you must have a great deal offaith! Didn't you keep thinking of Jesus all that night, and how hedied for you so his Father could forgive your sins, and take you toheaven if you died?"
"I was very thankful when I heard my men coming, Bessie; but I was tooweak to think much," said the colonel. "Come, let us wind the box andhave some music; hand me that key."
"But you think a great deal about it when you don't feel so bad; don'tyou?" persisted the child, as she gave him the key of the musical box.
"Pshaw!" said the colonel, throwing it down again on the table; "whatabsurdity it is to fill a child's head--"
"Horace!" said Mrs. Rush, in a quick, startled voice.
The colonel stopped short, then taking up the paper-cutter, begantapping the table in a very impatient manner. "I am sick of the wholething," he said; "there seems to be no end to it. Wife, sister, andfriend, from the parson to the baby, every one has something to say onthe same subject. I tell you I will have no more of it from any one.I should have supposed I would have been safe there. And my own wordsturned into a handle against me too." And he looked at Bessie, whohad drawn a little away from him and stood gazing at him with fear andwonder in her large eyes. She had never seen him angry before, and shecould not think what had made him so now.
"Am I naughty?" she asked.
"No, darling," said Mrs. Rush, holding out her hand.
Bessie ran over to her. Mrs. Rush lifted her up in her lap.
"Did I talk too much?" asked Bessie. "I did not mean to tease him."
"See that steamship coming in, Be
ssie," said Mrs. Rush, in a voice thatshook a little. "I think it must be the 'Africa,' which is to bringGracie Howard's father. Will she not be glad to see him?"
"Yes," said Bessie; but she did not look at the steamer, but watchedthe colonel, who still seemed vexed, and kept up his tattoo with thepaper-cutter.
Nobody spoke again for a few moments, and Bessie grew more and moreuncomfortable. Presently she gave a long sigh, and leaned her cheek onher hand.
"Are you tired, dear?" asked Mrs. Rush.
"No," said Bessie, "but I'm so uncomf'able. I think I had yather go tomamma in grandmamma's yoom."
Mrs. Rush put her down, and was leading her away, but when they reachedthe door, Bessie drew her hand from hers and ran back to the colonel."I am sorry I teased you," she said. "I didn't know you didn't likepeople to talk about that night; I'll never do it any more again."
The colonel threw down the paper-cutter, and catching her in his arms,kissed her heartily two or three times. "You do not tease me, my pet,"he said; "you did not know how cross your old soldier could be; didyou?"
"You was not so very cross," she said, patting his cheek lovingly withher little hand. "Sick, lame people can't be patient all the time, andI do talk too much sometimes; mamma says I do. Next time I come, I'llbe so quiet." Then she ran back to Mrs. Rush, who took her to hergrandmamma's room and left her at the door.
Bessie went to mamma, and tried to climb upon her lap. Mrs. Bradfordlifted her up, but she was talking to her mother, and did not noticeher little girl's troubled face till Mrs. Stanton signed to her to lookat Bessie. Then she asked, "What is it, dearest?"
"I don't know, mamma," said Bessie.
"Has something troubled you?" asked mamma.
"Yes," said Bessie; "I teased the colonel."
"Oh!" said Maggie, "did you slam the door?"
"No, I talked about what he didn't like," said Bessie, with a quiveringlip; "I talked about that night, and it teased him. I didn't know hedidn't like to hear about it, mamma. I s'pose it's because he sufferedso much he don't like to think of it."
Mamma had no need to ask what night she meant; ever since Bessiehad heard of the terrible night when the colonel had lain upon thebattle-field, faint and almost dying from his dreadful wounds, thinkingthat he should never see his home and friends again, the story hadseemed to be constantly in her mind; and she spoke of it so often thather mother knew quite well what she meant. "What did you say about it,dear?" she asked.
Bessie could not remember all, but she told enough to let her mothersee what had displeased the colonel. But Mrs. Bradford did not tell herlittle girl, for she knew it would distress her very much to know thatthe brave soldier of whom she was so fond did not like to be reminded,even by a little child, of his debts and duty to the merciful Fatherwho had kept him through so many dangers and who had sent his dear Sonto die for him.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote A: The above train of reasoning was actually carried out by achild of five years.]