'But why are you going?'
'My dad's getting a new job with this Scottish firm and my mum wants to live up there because we'll be able to get a bigger house. And we're going to have a huge garden and Mum says I can have a swing and a tree house.'
'I'm going to have a tree house, you know I am, when Dad gets round to it,' I said. 'It was going to be our tree house.'
'And I can have any pets I want.'
'You've got a share of Barking Mad.'
33
'Mum said I can maybe have my own
pony.'
I was brought up short. A pony!
I'd always longed and longed to have a pony. When I was very little I used to hold my hands up like I was holding reins and I'd gallop along, pretending I was riding this fantasy white horse Diamond. Well, you call white horses grey but Diamond was as white as snow and sometimes he grew wings like Pegasus and we flew up and over the town until we got to the sea and then we'd gallop for hours, skimming the waves.
I stared at Alice. 'Are you really getting a pony?'
'Well, Mum said I could. And Dad, though he didn't promise. It's still not definite we're going.
Dad hasn't been given a starting time for his job and we haven't completed some contract thingy with the house so we're not telling anyone yet.'
'But I'm not anyone. I'm your best friend! Why did you keep it a secret from me? I would have had to tell you or I'd burst!'
'Yes, I know, Gem. That's why. You'd have told heaps of people because you can't ever keep secrets.'
'I can! Well, sometimes I can. Anyway, why does it have to be this great big secret?'
'We're not telling people till the last minute because my gran and grandad will go nuts and try 34
to stop us.'
I was shocked. 'You mean you're leaving them behind?'
'Well, Dad says we've got no option,' said Alice.
I couldn't ever imagine leaving Grandad behind.
I'd sooner leave Mum and Dad than Grandad. But I'd leave all three if it meant I could stay with Alice.
'You're leaving me behind too,' I said.
Alice's face crumpled. 'I don't know how I'm going to bear it, Gemma. I told Mum and Dad I couldn't go because I'd miss you too much. They just laughed at me and said I'd make some new friends – but I don't want any new friends. I just want you.'
'You've still got me. We can still be best friends.
And tell you what, I'll come and visit you every weekend! I'll get the train,' I said, getting excited.
'You can't, Gem. It takes hours and hours and hours and it costs heaps and heaps too.'
'More than two pounds for a child fare?' I said.
I got two pounds pocket money every week. Well, in theory I did. It depended on whether I'd been naughty or cheeky or broken anything. I resolved to behave like Little Miss Perfection from now on.
But it was no use.
'It's forty-eight pounds.'
'What!'
'And that's a supersaver price.'
35
I'd need to save for nearly six months for just one visit.
'What are we going to do?' I cried.
'We can't do anything. We're just children. We don't count,' said Alice bitterly.
'Well, you did say it's not definite definite. Maybe your dad won't get the job after all. And they'll sell the house to some other family. And you'll stay here, where you belong. With me.' I said it very fiercely and firmly, as if I could make it true just by being insistent.
I wished it every morning. I prayed for it every night. I did all sorts of weird things to try to make it come true. I tried to walk the entire length of the street without walking on any cracks in the pavement, I counted to fifty without blinking, I kicked every lamppost and muttered, 'Please-please-please.'
Grandad got really worried about me. 'What's up, little Iced Gem?'
'Nothing, Grandad.'
'Don't you nothing me. You're
walking funny, you're going all
starey-eyed like you're in a trance and you're circling every blooming lamppost like a little dog.
There's obviously something up.'
'OK, there is. But I can't tell you, Grandad. Though I wish I could.'
36
'Couldn't you just whisper it in my ear? I won't be cross or shocked no matter what you've done, sweetheart.'
'I haven't done anything, Grandad. Not this time,' I said, sighing.
'Well, that certainly makes a change,' said Grandad, panting a little as we trudged up and up the stairs to his flat. The lift was broken again and it was a long long haul up to the twelfth floor.
I tried to hop up but I couldn't manage more than three steps. Then I tried running up without stopping but it felt mean leaving Grandad to struggle up all by himself. So then I tried walking up sideways, feet stuck out at an angle.
'We'd better get your mum to take you shopping for new shoes on Saturday,' Grandad wheezed.
'Those ones look too small for you, pet. You're walking all funny in them.'
'I'm just trying to make a wish come true, Grandad,' I said. 'Though it isn't bogging well working.'
'It doesn't sound very nice using words like that.'
'You say it. You say worse.'
'Yes, well, I'm a naughty old man. I'm allowed.
You're not. Your mum wouldn't like it.'
'I don't care,' I said. 'Grandad, why are mums and dads allowed to boss you about and tell you what to do and where you have to live? Why aren't 37
children counted as people?'
'You wait till you get to my age, sweetheart. Old guys like me don't count as people either,' said Grandad. He reached out and squeezed my hand.
'You sure you can't confide in your old grandad, Gem? I won't tell a soul, I swear.'
I couldn't stop myself telling him this time. It just came out in a rush and then I had a little cry.
Grandad helped me into his flat, flopped into his big velvety armchair and sat me on his knee. He gave me a big cuddle until I'd stopped crying and then he wiped my eyes with one of his big soft white hankies.
Then he made us both a cup of tea.
'How about a little snack too? I expect you're feeling a bit peckish after all that emotion,' he said.
He gave me a golden syrup sandwich and a slice of strawberry sponge cake and a whole packet of iced gems. Every
time I put an iced gem in my
mouth I wished that Alice didn't
have to go away. I even wished
on the little bits of broken
icing and the crumbs.
It wa
t
s all in vain. The next
Saturday Alice's mum came round to my house with Alice. Alice was very pale and her eyes were pink, as if she'd been crying a lot. But Auntie Karen was 38
flushed with excitement, starting
to talk the minute she was in the
front door.
'We've got something to tell
you!' she announced. 'We're
moving.'
Alice flashed me a warning look
so I acted like this was the first I'd heard of it.
My mum looked totally stunned as Auntie Karen went on and on. 'Moving? To Scotland? Oh Karen, I can't quite take it in. Is this just an idea or is it all fixed up?'
'It's been in the air for weeks but we wanted to wait to tell everyone until it was definite. Bob's got this brilliant job offer and we're buying this incredible house with an enormous garden. Property's so much cheaper there, though of course Bob will have a hefty raise in salary. It's a perfect place to bring up a family, the countryside's so beautiful. It was such a fantastic chance for us we just couldn't say no. But it'll be a wrench moving all the same. We'll really miss you.'
'And we'll miss you too,' said my mum. She gave Auntie Karen a hug. Then she looked at Alice. 'Oh dear, you and Gemma will miss each other terribly too.'
Alice nodded mournfully, tears dripping down her chee
ks.
39
'Oh Alice, honestly!' said Auntie Karen. 'Come on, you know you're really excited about moving too. You want your pony, don't you, darling? And your own big bedroom with the special window seat and brand new bunk beds—'
'Can I come and stay in one of the bunk beds?'
I asked.
'Gemma!' said Mum.
'Yes, of course you can come and stay, Gemma,'
said Auntie Karen. 'That would be lovely.'
'When can I come?' I asked.
'Gemma, will you put a sock in it!' said Mum.
'Maybe . . . maybe in the summer holidays?' said Auntie Karen.
The summer holidays were months and months away.
I thought how long one day felt when I didn't see Alice.
I thought what it would be like at school sitting next to an empty desk.
I thought what it would be like wandering round the playground without anyone to talk to.
I thought what it would be like on Saturdays and Sundays without anyone to come over and play.
I thought what it would be like on my birthday.
I thought of our birthday and how we'd made friends when we were tiny newborn babies. And every birthday since, we'd helped each other blow 40
out our birthday candles and make our special wishes . . .
And now those wishes couldn't ever come true.
I looked at Auntie Karen. Her mouth was opening and shutting like a goldfish and all these burbles came bubbling out. She was going to have an Aga in her country kitchen, an ensuite bathroom in the master bedroom, a big barbecue in the patio area, and a garden big enough to stable a pony. Alice could have a real storybook childhood.
I wanted to stopper her mouth and cook her in her Aga and flush her down her ensuite toilet and spear her on her barbecue and trample her to death riding Alice's pony.
Alice herself was slumped in a corner, sniffling.
She didn't want to live in a big house with a big garden. She didn't even want a pony, not if it meant she couldn't share it with me.
I took a deep breath, as if I was about to blow out all the candles on my birthday
cake all by myself for the first
time.
'IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!'
I shouted.
Auntie Karen jumped. Alice
gasped. Mum shot up and
seized me by the shoulders.
'Be quiet, Gemma!'
41
'I won't be quiet!' I roared. 'It's not fair. I hate you, Auntie Karen. You're taking my best ever friend away from me and you don't even care!'
'Gemma!' Mum shook me hard, her fingers digging right in. 'Stop that!'
I couldn't stop. I shouted at the top of my voice.
Callum and Ayesha came running in from the garden. Dad came downstairs in his dressing gown.
Jack came right out of his bedroom and down to the kitchen, Barking Mad yapping hysterically. I yapped higher and every time Mum shook me I screamed at her.
Then Callum picked me right up and hung on tight, even when I tried to hit him. He carried me out of the room and up the stairs and into my bedroom. He sat down on my bed and pulled my dolphin duvet round me, wrapping me up like a little baby in a shawl.
He rocked me backwards and forwards, stroking my scrubbing-brush hair, while I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I could feel his arms round me but I felt I was tumbling down down down, past the
dolphins on my duvet, right down to the depths of the dark ocean, all on my own.
Four
Alice's mum and dad gave a farewell party to say goodbye to everyone.
'It's a wonder you're invited,' said Mum, glaring at me. 'Screaming like a banshee! I didn't know where to put myself. You try that lark again, young lady, and you'll end up with a good old-fashioned smack-bottom.'
'Now then, love, poor Gemma was upset,' said Dad.
'Well, she'll be even more upset if she doesn't behave impeccably at the party' said Mum. 'You'll say please and thank you, Gemma, you'll sit quietly and not rush about, you'll keep your voice down, you won't interrupt, you'll eat like a little lady and you'll take care not to spill anything down your dress.'
'What dress?' I mumbled.
'Your party dress, you silly girl,' said Mum.
'I'm not wearing that party dress!' I said.
Mum had spotted this truly terrible custard-yellow frilly frock in last year's sales and she'd 43
bought it for me. It looked ludicrous. Jack and Callum had howled with laughter when Mum made me try it on. Dad said I looked like a lovely little daffodil – but then he burst out laughing too.
I had torn the dress off and shoved it right at the back of my wardrobe, praying that no one would ever invite me to a party posh enough for me to have to wear the frock.
'This isn't a party party,' I protested. 'It's going to be in the garden. Alice isn't wearing a party dress. Oh Mum, please don't make me. I'll look so stupid.'
'You'll do as you're told. It's the perfect occasion.
You've got to get some wear out of that dress before it gets too small for you,' said Mum.
I bet she knew all the other kids would be in jeans or shorts. She was just paying me out for being so rude to Auntie Karen.
I knew that if I argued too much Mum wouldn't let me go to the party at all. I had to be a bit artful.
I put on my T-shirt and shorts under the Yellow Disaster and decided I'd rip the dress off at the first opportunity.
I still had to wear it there though. It looked worse than ever now it was a bit on the small side, cutting me under the arms and showing a lot of my legs.
'Trust you to have ugly great scabs on both 44
knees,' said Mum, tugging at my hem to try to make the frock longer. 'Do try to stand straight, Gemma.
The dress is all bunched up.'
It was bunched up because of the T-shirt and shorts underneath. I stepped out of Mum's reach quickly before she whipped up my skirts and found out. Dad repeated his daffodil remark when he saw me. I expected Callum and Jack to re-run hysterical laughter but maybe I was looking so glum they felt sorry for me. Jack just nodded at me and Callum patted me on the back.
It was weird arriving at Alice's house. It was already looking different, with packing cases in the front room and all the pictures off the wall, leaving ghost imprints on the wallpaper.
I couldn't see Alice among the guests in the garden or the crowd in the kitchen. Alice's mum was looking for her too, calling out, 'Where have you got to, Alice?' She was starting to sound a bit tetchy.
I had a good idea where Alice would be. I peeped inside her bedroom. It looked empty, with packing cases and rubbish bags in a pile in the middle of the room. I opened up Alice's walk-in wardrobe.
There she was, sitting cross-legged in the gloom.
She was hugging Golden Syrup, her old teddy, rubbing her cheek against his scrubby fur the way she did when she was little.
45
'Oh Alice,' I said.
I squashed in beside her. We
cuddled up close, Golden Syrup
squashed between us. Alice's dresses and skirts and jeans tickled the tops of our heads and her shoes and trainers and ballet pumps poked our bottoms.
'I don't want to go,' Alice said
helplessly.
'I don't want you to go,' I said.
'It's all got too real,' said Alice. 'I've had to pack nearly all my stuff this morning. It was like it was our stuff, Gem, because we've always played together. Mum wants me to throw heaps of things away – my old Barbie dolls, my crayons, my little teddies. Mum says they're just junky old stuff, but they're not, they're special.'
'They are junk, Alice. I messed them all up. I gave all your Barbies haircuts and practically scalped them; I scribbled too hard doing the sky and the grass when we drew together so the blue and the green are all broken; and I was the one who gave the little teddies a swimming lesson in your kitchen sink so their fur's been matted ever since. r />
I don't mean to, but I always spoil your things.'
'You don't. Well, you do, but I don't mind it because you invent such fun games. Who am I going to play with in Scotland, Gemma?'
46
I made Golden Syrup give her a big kiss on the nose. 'You can always play with me, so long as you give me lots of syrup sandwiches,' I said in a squeaky teddy voice.
'Alice? Alice, where are you?' We heard Auntie Karen open the door. She sighed crossly and then slammed it shut.
'My mum's getting ever so mad,' Alice whispered nervously.
'My mum's always mad at me,' I said, picking at the scab on my knee. 'When are you going to let your mum know where you are?'
'I'm not. I don't like her any more.'
'I don't ever like my mum.'
'So let's stay here, Gem. I wish we could stay here together for ever and ever.'
'Yeah, they can go off to stupid old Scotland, but you stay living here in your wardrobe. I'll live here too. We'll send Golden Syrup out to forage for food.'
I made her teddy bob about eagerly. 'Syrup sandwiches!' 'he' said. 'Yum yum.'
'We can't live on syrup sandwiches,' said Alice.
'Yes we can. They're very nutritious,' said Golden Syrup.
Alice pushed him away. 'Gem, I'm serious.
Golden Syrup's sandwiches are just pretend. How could we get real food? Could you maybe sneak down to the kitchen and grab a whole load of party food?
47
There's heaps and heaps, Mum was cooking all yesterday. It would last us a couple of days, easy-peasy.'
'You're nuts, Al. We can't really stay in your wardrobe. They'll find us soon, you know they will.'
'Well, let's run away then, before they find us.'
Alice seized my hands. 'Let's do it, Gem. Let's really run away'
'Right. Yes, let's! Only they'll come after us, won't they? Our mums will get in a flap and go to the police and give them our descriptions. Missing: one girl with long fair hair in pink and one girl with short sticking-up hair in vile yellow frills.
Though I can take it off,' I said, struggling out of the dreadful dress.
'Hey, we'll both change and go in disguise! And I can wear my black pigtail from when I did that Chinese dance at ballet,' Alice said eagerly.
'Pity I don't have two wigs.'