“I’M GIVING YOU ONE MORE HOUR… THAT’S IT.”
Tears blurred her texts as I scrolled down them and laughed at my best friend.
Well, that was until I got to the last message. I didn’t think Nox would appreciate hotel security busting into his suite. I was beginning to think that maybe he didn’t work for anyone, but no matter what, I didn’t want anyone thinking he’d done something wrong.
He’s done nothing wrong.
Even the thought of things he’d done right twisted my insides.
I checked the time Chelsea sent her last text message against the clock. Shit! I only had ten minutes to spare.
I touched the CALL icon.
She answered on the first ring. “Where the hell are you? Are you still with Mr. Handsome? I was just about to—”
“Stop. I’m fine, well…” Blood filled my cheeks. “…better than fine, really.”
“Better than fine,” Chelsea repeated. “I’m listening.”
I turned away from the bedroom door and covered my phone with my hand. “Chels, I’m standing in his bedroom wearing a robe. I’m not giving you any details—yet.”
“Just one, I need to know…”
“I thought you’d be…” Nox said, as he entered the room.
I spun toward him and pointed at the phone.
“So?” Chelsea asked.
“Not blue,” I answered with a grin.
“Oh girl. I need more.”
“Chels, I need to go. I’ll be by our room…” Nox shook his head no as the menacing gleam I adored grew. “…or not. I’m spending most of the day with Nox.”
Though I was talking to Chelsea, Nox had my full attention. He twisted the button inside the doorknob and stalked toward me. When he was mere inches away, he mouthed locked. Shook his head and quietly whispered, “No Mrs. Witt.”
“Chelsea, I need to…”
Nox’s gaze held me captive as he removed the phone from my hand and hit the red disconnect button. When he placed it back on the bedside stand, I considered protesting, but didn’t. Movement and speech were beyond my ability. Simple life processes were now my concern. Filling my lungs with shallow breaths was difficult. My heart had a new rhythm. Rushing blood filled my ears and prickled my skin. My body was hypersensitive to everything—the satin of the robe and the scent of desire.
Nox’s movements were deliberate and predatory as he tugged the sash of my robe. I arched my back and gasped for air as his lips seized one of my nipples and he pulled with his teeth. Musk and need filled the room as he lifted me to the bed and slowly removed the robe from my shoulders.
He led me back to the bed. The searing stare he’d given me at the pool the day we’d met was but a tepid glance compared to the way he looked at me now. In this moment, our roles were clear. I was his for the taking, vulnerable to his whims and malleable to his touch. He had complete control.
I’d never been as exposed or felt as worshipped.
That was what Nox did: he worshipped, adoring my body—every inch. Beginning at my ankles, he kissed the insides of my legs. Slowly, his attentions moved upward until I nearly pierced the soft sheets with my fingernails as his tongue and lips devoured my tender core. With my essence on his lips, his assault continued until our tongues danced. By the time we made it to the shower, my body ached from satiation as well as wanton need. Though he’d brought me to soaring heights, he’d yet to fill me.
Chelsea was wrong—Nox had the equipment. Running my grasp up and down his stretched skin, I wordlessly told him what I’d screamed in the gas station. I wanted him. I needed him inside of me.
I couldn’t contain my smile as he produced the small silver packet from the shower shelf. Using my teeth to open the condom, I wantonly sheathed his rock-solid erection.
With the warm water washing over us, Nox lifted me against the tile and granted my desire. Clinging to his shoulders, I buried my face in the crook of his neck. Each thrust moved him deeper, pushing and stretching. My moans echoed within the glass stall as I sucked the saltiness from his skin.
Though my mind questioned my ability to find the high he’d already provided, my body knew better. The more he fanned the flames of my desire, the more my muscles tightened and toes curled. Higher and higher we flew until our blaze of passion exploded, leaving us both victim to the spectacular detonation. With a guttural growl, he collapsed against the wall, pinning me in place. With the water still falling, waves of pleasure washed through me.
When our eyes met, his lips curled into his sexy smile. “I don’t have the words,” he said. “Amazing seems woefully insufficient.”
A GENTLE BREEZE blew the sheer curtains of our cabana bed. The covering did little to shield us from the sun or from the other patrons as we rested upon the soft mattress.
“I don’t remember the last time I spent an entire day like this.”
I rolled to my side, planted my elbow and popped my head on my hand. Staring into his pale eyes, I asked, “So you work a lot, even when you travel?”
He pulled me closer, flattening my breasts against his bare chest. “I do. I’ve had a few meetings since I arrived. That’s what brought me here this week.”
My cheeks rose. “I’m glad you had those meetings.”
He tucked a rogue strand of hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek. “Me too.” His menacing grin returned. “Have you spoken to your sister?”
My ongoing deception tugged at my conscience. “You mean since you so rudely disconnected my call.”
“Yes, but I didn’t hear you complain. Oh, I heard you,” he smirked. “But it didn’t sound like complaints.”
“Back to your question.” I couldn’t think about what we’d done. If I did, I’d want more. “I did talk to her, why?”
“I hope she doesn’t mind my stealing you for the rest of your vacation.”
I shrugged. “We live together for now. So I think we’ll be fine.”
“I’m glad I heard your answer to her question.”
I leaned back and narrowed my eyes. “What question?”
Nox rolled me over until my head was upon the pillow and he was over my chest. Raising his brows, he said, “I may have seen a few texts when I plugged in your phone.”
“You looked at my texts?”
“No, I plugged in your phone and they were there. And…”
My irritation floated away with the sound of the surf and the kiss of his lips. “And,” I replied, “I told her your balls aren’t blue.”
Nox laughed, his chest vibrating against mine. “Not anymore.”
DREAMS, LIKE FAIRYTALES, all come to an end. We wake or turn that final page. There’s no escaping it. It may take days, years, or an entire lifetime, but forever doesn’t truly exist. No matter how hard we wish or try, the end always comes.
Nox’s and my final day, the last day of my vacation, arrived. Though we’d both awakened early, we’d been granted a short reprieve when Nox successfully lulled me back to sleep. With the sun barely up, I’d drifted away in a sweet cloud of musk, wrapped in the arms of the man I barely knew.
I didn’t know his last name, where he lived, or what he did, but I knew that in the six days and five nights we’d been together, I’d lost my heart to him. I didn’t know if he’d stolen it or if I’d given it. I even tried to convince myself that it wasn’t the entire thing… that it was only a piece of my heart that he now possessed. If that were true, it meant that I would survive. If it were only a piece and even if what I still had within me was broken, I stood a chance of repair. One day I might find the magic we shared. Someday when Alex was ready, when she wasn’t about to concentrate on law school, she could discover what I would soon be leaving.
It was a good tale, a story of fabrication, and one I knew was a lie. The pain within me from the moment we woke was too intense. The evidence pointed to one conclusion: Nox hadn’t taken a piece of my heart. He had the entire thing. Repair would never come. It wasn’t possible to repair what no longer existed
.
With each breath, the void of my missing heart ached in my chest.
Though I needed to pack my things and Chelsea and I needed to get to the airport, I wasn’t rushing. Instead, I was sitting across the small table on the balcony of the presidential suite, sipping coffee and moving eggs and fruit around my plate. Our time together was ticking away. The figurative clock would soon strike midnight. If this were Cinderella, I’d be running down the steps and leaving my glass slipper.
For the first time since we’d met, our sentences felt forced—polite and proper. There were so many things we hadn’t said, so many things we wanted to say, but now it was too late. When we were showering, Nox joked about my missing my flight, but other than that, we’d avoided the subject.
“Nox,” I said, debating with myself if I could be at least partially honest. “I know our agreement, and I still believe we should honor it. But there’s something I want you to know.”
His pale eyes looked up from his barely-eaten breakfast. Apparently neither of us had an appetite. “What?”
“I guess I want you to know that this week wasn’t me.”
Putting his fork down, he asked, “What do you mean? You’re not Charli?”
I didn’t want to go there. “I mean that I’ve never before done what we’ve done. I want you to know that I don’t go around meeting men and doing what we did.”
His grin quirked. “You want me to know you don’t sleep around.”
I nodded. Why would he believe me? I let him fuck me in a public bathroom. I asked for it—for his cock. That didn’t sound like someone with standards. “It’s just that… well, I’m sure you have met… other women… had more opportunity…”
“Charli,” he reached across the table and laid his hand down, palm up.
A tear escaped my eye as I placed my hand in his.
His surrounded mine with a squeeze. “I believe you.”
I forced a smile.
“No matter how experienced you think I am or how many women there have been, I’m not what you think. I don’t do this either. I’ve told you—I have unique tastes, and honestly, they don’t bode well for most relationships. I have sources that keep me satisfied, but that’s not the same thing. I haven’t even tried to be in a relationship for quite awhile.”
I looked at him through my lashes. On his face I saw the sincerity mirrored in his words.
“There was something about you,” he went on, “about us, that was different—different than anything I’ve ever experienced. I was drawn to you that morning at the pool. There was—no, is—electricity that surrounds us like I’ve never known.”
The void in my chest gaped open. It was so painful I feared looking down. If I did, I was sure I’d see bloody shreds of vessels and flesh where my heart had been. Nox felt what I felt. It wasn’t just me. We had a connection and soon it would be over.
“I-I wish,” I said through ragged breaths, “I wish this were another time and place. I wish this were longer than a week. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
He squeezed my hand again. “I’m not asking—not because I don’t want that. I do. I’m not asking because we both went into this with the same expectations. Believe me, I’ve been racking my brain for ways to make you stay, for me to stay.” He looked around, taking in the balcony and the ocean beyond. His cheeks rose as he said, “I don’t really live here. I also have a life to return to.”
My eyes darted to his when he said life.
“Life, Charli, not wife. I didn’t lie. Both of us have lives. Maybe one day, if it’s meant to be, they’ll intersect. In the meantime, we’ll always have Del Mar and 101.” He added the last part with the menacing grin that made my tummy do somersaults.
Nox stood and lifted my hand. When I rose, he pulled me into his arms and our lips met. I wanted to stay in his embrace forever. His kiss was tender and giving. The urgency we’d had over the past week had been replaced by a need to share what little of ourselves we could. His lips and tongue tasted like coffee. I knew that every time I drank a cup, I’d remember Nox. I’d also remember the way we fit together. Whenever I was chilled, I’d recall the warmth of his solid body against mine. That memory would become my blanket as I resumed my life, my real one.
I longed to give him something, too. As his fingers raked the waves of my long hair, I wanted him to remember me, to remember us. I would have gladly given him anything he desired, but the pain in my chest meant I had nothing left to give. Nox already owned me—heart, body, and soul.
I was no longer my own to bestow.
“I’ll take you and Chelsea to the airport.”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t. I can’t do this again. This has to be our goodbye.” The word was a knife gutting the void.
The vein and tendons in his neck told me that he wanted to argue, perhaps demand. After all, he hadn’t asked. The navy swirling in his light blue eyes also let me know that his emotions were on overload. He was debating his next words.
“Please, Nox, please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.”
His lips captured mine. One last kiss—no longer gentle. This was rough and devouring.
I moaned as our bodies melted together.
When Nox released me, he brushed my bruised lips with his. It was as if he needed one more connection. “Charli, I’ll never forget you.” Taking my chin in his grasp, he said, “I’m not going to tell you which one or that I’m sorry for doing it, but when you discover the rule I broke, I hope you know that it was because of you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand. What rule?”
He kissed my nose. “I said I wasn’t going to tell you.”
“Will you tell me why it was because of me?”
“Because since the first moment I saw you, I’ve made exceptions. I’ve done and said things that I do not, as a rule, do. You do that to me. You make me rebel even against myself.”
I nodded, understanding exactly what he was saying. Nox had done the same thing to me. He’d made Charli into someone Alex or Alexandria would never be. Because of him I’d cheated on myself. And I loved him for it.
My eyes closed as another tear cascaded down my cheek. I’d said the word, if only in my head. I loved Nox, a man with no last name.
“Goodbye,” I choked as I turned and walked away. I couldn’t turn back. I couldn’t see him in his jeans and white button-down shirt with the rolled-up sleeves. I couldn’t stare one more second into the stunning pale blue of his eyes or run my fingers over the scruffiness of his jaw. When the doors to the elevator closed, I collapsed against the paneling and the control panel’s buttons blurred as I continued to blink away the tears.
Though my head ached from the pent-up pressure, it wasn’t until I was safely inside Chelsea’s and my suite that I let the sobs rain free. With my face buried in my best friend’s shoulder, I cried as my body convulsed with each tattered breath.
CHELSEA AND I settled into our airplane seats as other passengers walked by. People thought first-class was something special, but as person after person passed, first-class felt like a display case. I wished for a seat at the very back, a place where I could hide and no one would see.
“Before we take off, can I get you anything to drink?” the way-too-perky flight attendant asked, placing napkins on the armrest between us. With a wink, she tapped my knee. “You know, honey, it’s not that bright in here. You can take off your sunglasses.”
“My friend has sensitive eyes,” Chelsea said. “We’ll both have champagne.”
After she walked away, I whispered, “I don’t feel like celebrating.”
Chelsea removed my sunglasses, shook her head and returned them to my face. “You need to celebrate. You need to look at this the way it was—something amazing and unique.”
The attendant handed us each our plastic glass with bubbling liquid.
“I thought they used glass glasses in first-class,” Chelsea said, examining her cup.
“After we
take off.”
“Because it’s safer to have real glass at 42,000 feet than sitting still on the ground?”
I shook my head. I’d never given it that much thought.
“Come on,” she encouraged. “Let’s toast.”
“Chels…”
She tipped her cup toward mine. “To Charli with an i.”
“To Charli with…” Nox. I said the last part only to myself. Then I added, “Welcome back, Alex.”
Chelsea smiled. “You know, Alex isn’t so bad.” She shrugged. “I like her.”
“Thanks. I’m glad. She’s not bad, but she doesn’t have an i.” Sighing, I reached under the seat in front of us and pulled out my purse. It didn’t matter that my eyes were red and puffy, I brought more attention to myself with the sunglasses than I did without them. I put them in their case.
“You know,” Chelsea said, “I had a great time, even if you didn’t.”
My face snapped toward her. “I did!”
“There,” she declared triumphantly. “I wanted you to hear yourself admit that. You did have a great time.”
“I did.” I turned on my phone. “Have you put your phone in airplane mode?” I asked.
“Hey, let me see that,” Chelsea said, grabbing my phone from my hand.
Why are people constantly taking my phone? “What are you doing?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said, remember?”
I shook my aching head. “No, I don’t remember. Do you think they could get me something for this headache?”
“More champagne,” she murmured before she repeated the story I’d told her. “You said that he told you he broke a rule.”
My void grew. It was too early to remember his words. They weren’t only words in my memory. They were deep, velvety tones that tightened my insides while covering my skin in goose bumps.
Involuntarily, I shuddered.
If anyone notices, they’ll probably think I have the flu or some disease. If I don’t get my shit together, the FAA will put us all in quarantine.
“Chelsea, give me my phone. They’re closing the door.”