Chapter 7
When I awoke, it took me a long time to remember. My mind was filled with a dense cold fog.
It felt like I’d been hit in the head with a brick.
The room I was in had a small round window above the bed that showed a startling view of the towers around me.
I had to be high up, because I could see the clouds creeping by at eye-level.
I stared at them, looping my hair over my shoulder as I pulled my legs up and hugged them to my chest.
I was confused… and yet calm.
I didn’t know why I was calm – I had no right to be. Considering what had happened to me yesterday, I should be a wreck.
And yet I wasn’t.
For now.
I looked up as I heard a beep from the door.
After a polite pause, someone walked in.
It was a doctor. “You’ve been cleared, newfound Miranda.”
“Sorry?”
“You are fit and healthy, Miranda.”
“… Why are you calling me Miranda?”
“That is your name.” The doctor was an alien of indiscriminate gender. They had a barrel chest and spindly legs, but a kindly face.
I shook my head. “My name is Annie, Annie Carter—”
“It is normal after waking up from stasis from a long period to be confused.”
“I wasn’t in stasis, I was cryogenically frozen for 400 years.” Though I still felt calm, it was starting to be chipped away by alarm.
What the hell was going on here?
“Ah, perhaps you are still confused. You had a slight brain event yesterday, and I imagine it coincided with your current confusion.”
“Brain event, current confusion? What does that mean?”
“You had a mild stroke in your left hemisphere.” He quickly put a hand up. “All damage has been healed, and all weaknesses in your blood vessels corrected.”
“I had a stroke?”
“There is nothing to be alarmed about. However, you will be confused for a while yet. You may find yourself incorrectly remembering events.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded.
This couldn’t be happening to me.
“You will stay here until you are recovered.”
“How long will that take?” I clutched at my covers with sweaty hands.
“Approximately three months.”
“Three months? I thought this was the future. I mean, you said you’d already healed my brain, so—”
He put up a hand quickly. I swore there was a slight shake to it. “You are a recent newfound one, and you must be monitored. Your confusion will pass, and you will remember your life correctly. However, you must be monitored until that occurs.”
“And that’s going to take exactly three months, is it?” I asked, incapable of modulating my tone, the surprise tearing through it and shaking my every word.
The doctor offered me a calming smile. “About that, yes.”
“Isn’t that the time frame for Illuminate Hart to marry Annie Carter?” I asked. I’m not sure where that question came from, but I found myself asking it before I could think it through.
I also found myself keenly observing the doctor for his reaction.
The man didn’t make a movement. He kept that same calming smile locked on his lips. “A coincidence.”
I stared at him.
My calm shattered.
Suddenly, I felt in danger again.
It rushed into me like a river breaking its banks.
I gulped.
Then I thought of Mark.
I practically jolted out of bed.
“Where’s Mark? Lieutenant Mark Havelock? He’s a friend, and I need to see him,” my voice shook, but not as badly as my hands as I clutched hold of the hem of my bed sheet.
“He came to see me last night,” the doctor said.
For the first time, I swear the doctor’s calm façade cracked. But only for an instant.
It was long enough to see something akin to fear playing in his purple eyes.
“Your friend is worried about you and eager for you to get well,” the doctor continued, clamping his hands behind his back.
From the rustle of fabric and the strain reflected in the alien’s shoulders, I could bet the guy was clutching his hands so tightly they were about to atrophy.
“I want to see him,” I blurted.
“You will,” the alien promised through a swallow, “soon. But for now, rest.”
He turned and walked out of the room before I could say anything more.
I stared at the door as it closed then disappeared into the wall.
I was suddenly very aware of my heart as it beat like a drum in my chest.
With a stiff back and sweaty hands, I repositioned myself and stared out of the tiny window beside me.
Suddenly, the view wasn’t beautiful – it was intimidating.
I was in a future I didn’t understand.
I brought my shaking hands up and stared at them.
People were trying to tell me I wasn’t Annie Carter, but I knew I was.
How couldn’t I?
These were my hands.
That old scar across my thumb was from where I’d trapped it in the car door as a kid.
I shifted back and pulled up the light white fabric of my tunic. Sure enough, the scar from my appendix surgery was still there. I tracked my thumb across it just to check it was real.
Then I turned my hands over and stared at my knuckles. Then down at my wrists, then up my arms.
I slowly and progressively stared at every inch of my body.
It was me, alright.
Annie Carter.
And I could remember my life just fine.
I would never forget my family crowding around me in the hospital, my mother sobbing as the doc told her there was no cure for my virus.
I even remembered my dad’s decision to freeze me.
I could still see his worry-lined face.
Christ, I would never ever be able to wash those memories away – they were etched into my bones.
I pulled my arms around my middle and hugged myself.
Then I squeezed my eyes tightly closed.
Something terrible was happening, and I was so confused – running only on instincts.
It was everyone else who was confused. But with grit, logic, and a calm mind, I’d be able to make them see sense.
All I had to do was get to Mark. He knew I was Annie Carter. Then he’d help me contact the institute on Earth, and they’d be able to confirm it too.
My eyes suddenly shot open.
I brought my hand up and clutched the implant in the side of my neck.
It would be able to confirm my identity.
… Except it wasn’t there.
There was a tiny scar instead.
My eyes jerked wide, and my fingers froze as they groped at the point under my left ear.
What the hell was happening? Why had my implant been removed?
Just when I’d thought I’d be able to get through this with a calm, rational mind, fear flooded back in.
I let my hands drop to my lap as I stiffly turned to stare at the view.
Then I cried, unashamedly.
…
When Mark came to see me, I was curled up in a ball on my bed. I was like a frightened animal trying to remove themselves from danger by making themselves as small as they could.
As soon as I heard the door open with a strange pneumatic hiss, I curled up tighter, sure it was the doctor ready to assure me for the umpteenth time that I was just confused.
“You trying to become a tire? Because you’re not round enough. You’ll have to chop off your feet.”
It was Mark.
I shivered and snapped up.
He was standing in the open door, one hand in his pocket as he leaned against the frame.
He stared at me.
For a few seconds, his gaze had that same odd intensity he’d used on me yeste
rday. The one that told me he was looking at me – really looking at me.
I swallowed.
Then he flashed me a smile. “Is that all the hello I get?”
“M-Mark?”
He pushed off from the wall and walked into the room, his gait easy and his glance friendly. “You’re alright now, Miranda. The doc checked you out. Just a bit of confusion. But once it’s gone, you’ll be as right as rain.”
I stared at him.
There was nothing else I could do.
Miranda?
Mark knew me.
He was one of the first people I saw after waking up from my cryo-sleep. He’d always shown an interest in me, always been there for me.
And now he was calling me Miranda.
He took another step into the room, but I pressed myself against the wall to get away from him.
“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay. I know you’re confused.”
I swallowed and found my voice, “I’m not confused. I know who I am.”
“You had a tiny little stroke.” He plucked his hand from his pocket and pressed two fingers together. “And it’s making you a bit confused. But it will pass.”
My mouth opened and I shook.
God. This couldn’t be happening.
If Mark could see my utter terror, he didn’t register it. He simply kept shooting me that charming, easy smile.
“Miranda,” he moved over and plonked himself on the end of my bed, “you trust me, right?”
I couldn’t answer.
“Well, you should – and you should trust everyone here. We all just want you to get better.”
“Mark, what’s going on? Why are you doing this?” I croaked.
“Because I was a newfound once too, remember? I know how confusing it can be to wake up.” He shot me another smile.
From his expression to his tone, it was clear he thought nothing was wrong.
….
I blinked hard before a treacherous thought could enter my mind.
I shook my head too.
I was not about to question who I was.
Goddammit, I knew.
I knew I was Annie Carter.
A stroke couldn’t invent memories like that. Sure, maybe it could make you a little confused, and maybe waking up could rattle your brain for a while, but it couldn’t invent a whole life.
I set my gaze hard as I stared back at him.
Though his entire act had been an easy one up until now, I swear it changed for a moment. I swear he looked at me with a wary edge to his pale brown gaze.
Then he forced a smile, his cheeks climbing high into his eyes. “You’ll be alright, A- Miranda,” he corrected.
He’d been about to say Annie, right?
The correction had been quick and seamless, but I was sure I was right.
I stared at him, and it was my turn to analyze him in full.
It sounded terrible considering what he’d meant to me, but how much did I really know about Mark?
Maybe he could guess what I was thinking, because he straightened up and let his brow crumple. “We’ve worked hard to help you, Miranda. And god knows I’ve always been there for you,” he dipped his head low to look at me, “so why can’t you trust me?”
“… I trust you, Mark,” I forced myself to say.
His smile returned with a twitch. “Well, that’s alright now. So, what do you say to some holo TV? I’ll see if I can get the doc to clear one for you, and even if I can’t, I’ll sneak you in one myself.” He winked at me.
After a few seconds, I smiled. It was the fakest smile I’d ever given. The movement of my mouth and lips was purely mechanical.
If Mark noticed, he didn’t let on.
With a happy chuckle, he pushed up from the bed and nodded at the view. “Incredible, isn’t she?”
I turned to follow his gaze. “Who?”
“The city,” he plunged his hands into his pocket and took a deep breath, “this future.”
I didn’t reply.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye.
The quality of his gaze changed for a brief snap.
I couldn’t describe it, though.
It went to a place I’d never been – some complex emotion I couldn’t recognize.
I swallowed.
Mark slipped his gaze toward me and grinned once more. “Buck up, kid. It’ll all be okay soon.”
“… In three months, right?”
He stiffened. I swear he stiffened. I swear I could see his neck tighten against his trim collar.
“The doctor said it would take about three months until this… confusion passes,” I forced myself to explain as I looked at Mark.
He relaxed. “He said that, did he?” His gaze darted toward the door. “Well, he’s the doc, so I guess he’s right.” He looked distracted for a second as he stared through the open door into the corridor.
I too stared into the corridor, leaning past Mark to get a better view.
Mark repositioned himself until he stood right in front of me. “You just concentrate on getting better, okay?”
He clapped a hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.
Well, one of my eyes. For some reason, his gaze lingered on the left side of my face.
“… Sure, Mark,” I managed.
He chuckled, walked backward, winked, and walked out with a wave.
I stared at him.
The door closed, then disappeared seamlessly into the wall.
Shaking, I forced myself out of bed. My sweaty feet left wet footprints as I padded over to the wall.
I ran a hand over the point where the door had disappeared.
I couldn’t see it.
It was just a smooth white wall.
After several more seconds of checking, running my fingers over every centimeter of the wall I could reach, I stopped.
I stood there frozen, driving my knuckles into the metal.
Then I turned with a sharp breath and pressed my back into the wall.
I inhaled and held it in my chest, letting it out in a shaking exhalation that buffeted my fringe and sent it darting over my cheeks.
My eyes were drawn toward the view. I stared at the white towers and the white clouds darting between them.
I wanted this to be a dream. I wanted to wake up to realize the past few hellish days had been nothing but a nightmare.
I knew that wouldn’t happen.
This was real, and I wasn’t confused.
I knew I was Annie Carter.
It just seemed no one else did.