Her sky-colored eyes were heavy lidded and completely content looking. If I didn’t have my arms full of naked woman, I would’ve smugly patted myself on the back. I didn’t get a chance to bask in a job well done because she shifted from compliant and soft to forcibly aggressive before I could get my head around her mood change.
She kissed me, used her tongue to tangle with mine, sucked the leftover flavor of herself off of my lips, and shoved a little hand between us to start working on the buckle of my belt. I bent her back a little so that her shoulders were resting on the edge of the couch and groaned into her mouth when her fingertips brushed across the throbbing head of my cock.
I pulled back so she could pull the zipper down and watched as her eyes flared up in appreciation. She bent forward to kiss me again and a nagging thought barreled into the back of my skull. I caught her chin in my hand and lowered my forehead to touch hers.
“I don’t have a condom.”
It went along with my current minimalist state. Not having things meant not missing them when they were gone, including the basic urge to get laid. Only now I was going to murder someone for a tiny piece of latex because if I didn’t get inside her ready and willing body in the next second, I was pretty sure I was going to die.
Her fingers on one hand curled around the back of my neck while the other stroked the aching shaft up and down where it was straining at the opening of my jeans. It looked furious and enormous in her tiny grip. God, just watching her touch me was enough to set me off.
“We don’t really need one.”
I lifted an eyebrow at her and she cocked her head to the side. “I did have a pretty normal and active life before moving back home. I’m covered if you are.”
Shit. I hadn’t had unprotected sex since one mishap in my teens that had me pissing fire for a month. It was risky, and even though I looked like a choirboy on the outside, I had done things, been with dangerous women, that wouldn’t necessarily make me a good bet to take that risk on. Granted, all those careless choices with women had been a while ago and I never made the same mistake twice, so I was as clean as a whistle. I wanted her more than I wanted to keep breathing, but I felt compelled to ask:
“Brysen, that’s a pretty big risk to take on me. Are you sure?”
If she said no, my dick was going to fall off, but I had to respect her wishes.
She stared at me for a long, silent moment. I could practically see things turning around and around behind her burning-hot gaze. She leaned closer to me, her breasts brushing enticingly across my chest. She rubbed the end of her nose across my cheek and stopped at my ear. She put her lips right up against it and whispered:
“You make me want to take every risk there ever was worth taking, handsome.” Then she sank her teeth into the lobe and I was done for.
I hefted her up enough to get the stiff denim out of the way and pulled her back down directly on my very ready erection. She was already all open and malleable, so she slid right down to the hilt. We were joined closer, tighter than I think I had ever been with any other girl. Her head tilted back, her throat arched up, and I couldn’t resist the allure, the invitation to suck on it, to leave a mark on it.
She started to move, used her hold on my shoulders to work herself up and down while I moved up on my knees a little to get better leverage to thrust into her. I tangled my hands in her hair and kissed her closed eyes, her nose, and finally settled on her mouth. I loved kissing her. Loved the way she tasted and responded to me. I had had more sex than I probably should be comfortable admitting to, but I had never had sex like this. The routine was get in, get it on, get off, and then get gone. With her, there was so much more than that. There was the buildup, the erotic burn, the way she pulled at me, asked me to give her more without words. There was the way she said my name over and over, the way she sank her teeth into the top of my shoulder hard enough to make me grunt in pain. There was the way she told me to go harder, faster, and when I didn’t respond quick enough she somehow managed to get a hand between us to snake around my balls and give me the proper encouragement. She was being sexually daring and I fucking loved it, and it made me pretty sure I was on the edge of loving her. She was beautiful, and when she came a second time, I followed right behind her, shuddering a naked release into a very special girl I was pretty certain was going to set my already unsteady and uncertain world even further off-kilter.
I let the aftershocks of her soft body ripple along the still-buried length of my cock and shifted so that I could lay her across the threadbare couch. It took some maneuvering to keep us joined together and to get both of us to fit, but the end result was me still nestled in the cradle of her long legs and her arms draped loosely around my shoulders while she gazed up at me through passion-drunk eyes. I pushed some tangled pieces of her hair off of her face and used my thumbs to brush across the planes of her cheekbones.
“I take it back. You are way more beautiful than the Stang.”
She rolled her eyes at me and spread her legs a little farther apart so that I could settle more fully into her.
“I feel like I got the raw end of the deal in the checking-out-the-goods department, pretty boy. You’ve now seen me naked twice, and yet somehow you have managed to stay mostly clothed, both times.”
I lifted an eyebrow at her and grinned. Her eyes zeroed in on my dimple and I felt her response where we were still joined. I was stoked that it was as easy for me to get to her as it was for her to get to me.
“Not all of me is that pretty.” I put her hand on the scar on my chest. “Novak’s guys did a number on my leg when they went after Bax and Dovie. I was lucky they didn’t kill me, but they left me with a lifelong reminder of what happens when you think you can take on the Point and win.”
She made a face at me and started to wiggle underneath me. It felt awesome but clearly she wanted up. I groaned and pulled out of her heat and let her climb to her feet. She grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. I was going to ask her what she was doing but she was suddenly very much all up in my personal space, pulling my jeans and boxers the rest of the way down my legs. The sight of a sexy, naked blonde on her hands and knees in front of me wasn’t something my recently satisfied cock could ignore, and she lifted both her eyebrows up at me when it twitched in her direction. I would’ve shrugged it off, smiled at her and tried to play it smooth because she really was that hot, but I couldn’t breathe because she bent her head next to the mangled side of my knee, the part where the scar tissue was the ugliest, the thickest and knobbiest, and pressed the softest, lightest kiss to it. It did something to the center of my chest, made my heart kick hard enough that I was surprised my ribs didn’t crack from the force.
She trailed her fingers along the outside of my thigh, kissed the part of my abs that flexed and tightened right below my belly button, and got to her feet in front of me. She twisted her arms back up around my neck and pressed her cheek to the center of my chest. I don’t think I had ever been embraced with such care. I put my hands around her back and stroked my fingers up and down her spine.
“I’m glad you’re not absolutely physically perfect, Race. Trying to handle all the obvious perfection is distracting and hard as it is. Knowing there are parts of you that aren’t flawless makes you so much more human.”
I backed her onto the couch again. Covered her with my less than perfect body and started kissing her again.
“More parts of me are flawed than not, Bry. Stick around long enough and you’ll see.”
She must not have been in any hurry to go because when I wrapped a hand around her knee and put it up over my hip, she slid the other one to the side of my hips of her own volition, making room for me to be able to slide right back inside her body. Her eyes fluttered closed and a tiny smile danced over her mouth. She arched up into me and whispered against the side of my neck, “Thank you for taking care of me tonight.”
She didn’t have a clue. As I started to move again, started to make her more and
more mine, she didn’t even know the lengths I would end up going to in order to take care of her, and neither did I.
Chapter 9
Brysen
I SPENT THE NIGHT with Race. Not that it was a hardship to have his very talented hands and mouth all over every part of me for most of the night. But in the bright light of the daytime, the fact that I had just put everything down, walked away from what I knew made the most sense, and took something for myself made me feel a little overwhelmed. It was the first time in forever that I actually felt like myself, like I had some part of a life I actually wanted within my grasp, and I didn’t want to squander it. Even the fact that I had let him make love to me over and over again without protection was something I should be kicking myself over, but I was on the pill, responsible for my own choices. If I never had the chance to be with Race again, at least I knew I had had all of him, and it was better than anything else in the world had ever been. I think the thrill of it, the little unknown that came with being with a guy like him, added to the way it was so easy for him to work me all up.
He had rolled off of me this morning when his phone went off. He had mumbled words like payout, and the spread. He had pulled on a pair of jeans minus underwear, which was just dead sexy, kissed me hard on the mouth, and told me that Bax was getting the BMW squared away, and disappeared in a flurry of golden gloriousness and hasty good-byes. I didn’t know if I would see him again anytime soon, and frankly I was all right with that because I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to handle this major change in our relationship. We had never really been friends, didn’t know each other beyond the powerful attraction that seemed to pull us together, but the more bits and pieces of him I uncovered, the more I realized he was so much like me. His life looked one way, but underneath the surface there was so much more, so many other things going on. I hadn’t meant to blurt out my entire sad tale to him the night before, but after I had, I felt like a small portion of the burden was off my shoulders. It was a relief to have someone else out in the world knowing why I was doing what I was doing at home, that my sacrifice might go unnoticed on the home front by those it was for, but Race would know, and that mattered somehow.
I took a quick shower with the demon-hot water and cringed when I had to put on my dirty clothes from the night before. My face was scrubbed clean of makeup, my hair was damp, and I had a very prominent bite mark right on the center of my throat. I looked like the very image of “the morning after,” and I couldn’t say that I hated it. My eyes were big in my face, but there was a shine to them that had been missing for a long time—and maybe even a bit of the old me lurking back in the blue depths.
I collected my stuff, braced myself for whatever Bax was going to say, and went in search of my car. The garage was busy and loud. Machines were running, a plethora of male voices were talking, a radio was playing loud rock music somewhere, and over the top of it all engines were running and exhaust fumes perfumed the air. It was hectic enough that I was hoping no one would really notice me, but of course there was no such luck. A freshly showered girl exiting Race’s loft wasn’t going to go unnoticed, so I blushed when I caught a few knowing looks from the guys covered in grease and motor oil.
I saw Bax’s big form come out of the office. He had a cigarette dangling out of the corner of his mouth and his phone pressed against his ear. He caught sight of me where I was walking down the metal steps and inclined his dark head toward the back of the garage. Everything about him was dark and demanding, I had no clue how Dovie didn’t run from him every single time he looked at her. Just the look in his pitch-black eyes was enough to make me scamper like a scared little rabbit in the direction he indicated.
The BMW had four new wheels along with a new set of rims that looked way more expensive than the stock ones that had been stolen off of it the night before. I tossed my purse and the laptop on the passenger seat and looked in surprise to see that even a new radio had been put back into the console. I startled when Bax called “heads-up” and tossed me my keys. I caught them in my hand and watched him warily as he sauntered over to me. A ring of smoke escaped his lips and his dark eyes narrowed fractionally at me. He had a black star tattooed on his face right next to his eye, and the way it crinkled and moved was fascinating. He was the embodiment of the kind of man who was honed in the very fires that fueled the Point.
“Have fun last night?” It was crude, and none of his business, but it was a very Bax thing to ask.
I cleared my throat and clasped the keys to the car tightly in my hand. “I did.”
He took the cigarette out of his mouth and dropped it on the ground. He put it out under his boot and ran his hands over his shorn hair.
“Race has had a thing working for you for a while, but things with him and the business in the city right now are shaky. The Point is never really standing on solid ground, and right now the entire place might fall into nothing. He needs to keep his head up and his eyes on the prize or really bad shit could fall down on him. If you’re planning on being at his side, it’ll pull you under too.”
It was a warning that was about as subtle as a bulldozer.
“He’s just helping me out a little. I sort of have a stalker problem. I’m not trying to distract him or put him in danger.”
The corner of his mouth kicked up in a small grin, and I could see it, really see the beauty in him that had Dovie so head over heels in love with him. It almost made me sigh out loud.
“Looking the way you do, him already wanting a taste, and you should know you don’t have to do anything to distract him but breathe. I’m just telling you to keep all of it in mind when you decide to walk on the wild side. Here there are more things to consider than just getting off.”
I sucked in a startled breath at his bluntness and lowered my eyebrows at him in a very prudish scowl. He cocked his head to the side and considered me for a second.
“Your stalker . . . you have any idea who it might be? No exes in the picture? Any bad blood?”
I shook my head. “No, no one. I haven’t been on a date in over a year or so. I live at home. I go to work and school and that’s it. I’m boring. I mean I’ve turned some guys down when they’ve asked me out and I’m pretty sure I have a TA at school that wants to ruin my life, but no one has ever threatened me outright before.”
“You’re interesting enough for someone to want to be fucking with you pretty hard, and everyone is a threat.”
I sighed and lifted some of my wet hair from the back of my neck.
“The TA is an asshole. He asked me out and I sort of turned him down in a jerky way. Ever since then I’ve been positive he’s messing around with my grades and making this semester a living hell. He’s the only person I can think of that I might’ve rubbed the wrong way lately but I can’t prove he’s doing anything shady.”
Bax rubbed his thumb along his chin and lifted up a dark eyebrow.
“You mention this guy to Race?”
“No. He’s just a nerdy math major. He’s annoying, and I’m pretty sure he’s trying to ruin my grade so I fail my class. I just can’t prove it.”
“Doesn’t take much for a lonely guy to get pushed over the edge by a pretty girl.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so we just stared at each other for a long minute until he took out another cigarette and stuck it in his mouth. I cleared my throat a little bit and moved to get into the car.
“Thank you for putting wheels back on my car.”
“Thank Race.”
Well, I was pretty sure I had covered that last night, but I wasn’t about to tell Bax that.
“Hey, Bax.” His dark eyes flicked to me. “The things Race is doing, the business he’s involved in . . . he’ll be okay with everything, won’t he?” I didn’t really want an honest answer, but I knew I would get one.
Bax lit the end of the cigarette and lifted his heavy shoulders in a shrug.
“Race is the smartest guy I know. He’s doing what he thinks needs to be don
e. The guy makes pretty drastic choices that often affect others around him—and not always in a good way. But he owns them and there has to be something in that, right?”
That didn’t sound overly reassuring, but one of his guys called his name and I was dismissed for a blown head gasket or something like that.
I left the garage with my head spinning around the night before and thoughts of the kinds of things that could happen to Race if he wasn’t, in fact, smart enough to stay on top of all the things chasing him down in the Point. I liked him. I mean, I really liked him. It was hard not to, he was just so charming and endearing, but it was the surprises, those hidden little corners, that made him irresistible. I wanted to really know him, to get inside that golden head of his and figure out what made him work. Too bad I didn’t have the time for it or the space to figure out how things might work between us.
When I got back to my own part of town, my sister was home, my mom was in the kitchen, surprisingly sober and making sandwiches, and as usual, my dad was nowhere to be found even though it was a weekend day. I skittered past, hoping my rumpled and manhandled appearance wouldn’t cause a commotion, and put myself back together up in my room.
Karsen might want to pretend Mom was okay, might want to soak up the brief moments of lucidity and sobriety that came between her binges and manic attacks, but that took an effort I wasn’t willing to make and a mind-set I wasn’t willing to adopt. I ignored an apologetic text from Adria and responded to a snarky one from Dovie. I wasn’t going to try and hide the fact I had hooked up with Race from anyone, but I wasn’t going to flaunt it either. He was hot, we were both single, I had wanted him for so long it felt like it was a built-in part of me, and I wasn’t going to try and explain the need to simply have him to anyone, even a well-meaning Dovie.