“Was your mom always a mess like that?” His other hand slid under the curtain of my hair where it rested on the back of my neck. He used his thumb to rub on the tendon there, making me lean into him like a cat.
“She was always moody and unpredictable. It actually made her kind of fun when we were little. I didn’t know it was depression or how dangerous it could be until I got into my early teens. She was medicated for a while, but when my dad started working all the time, I think she stopped taking pills and switched to booze in a bid for his attention. She knows about his gambling and agreed to get help for her own addictions. Now I just have to figure out how to pay for it. The least expensive place that can help her is still fifteen grand per patient.”
He made a noise low in his throat and I could practically hear him thinking. I should’ve known Race’s brain was just as golden and complex as the rest of him.
He kissed the top of my head and trailed his hand across the curve of my backside and along the slope of my hip. His touch was light and left tingles and shivers in its wake. I felt my inner muscles start to tense and squeeze him involuntarily. With a little whimper I pushed up with my hands planted on his chest and looked down at him. I loved the way his eyes shifted from one color to another. He would never be able to hide how much he wanted me, and that made my heart swell. He was holding on to both of my hipbones now and fully erect where we were joined. A flush worked into his face and he grinned up at me. He looked like some ancient ruler satisfied after conquering a foreign land.
Before he could move me up and down, wind us back up all over again, I reached out and cupped his too-pretty face in my hands. I ran my thumb over that dimple and lifted an eyebrow at him.
“What about you?”
His sandy eyebrows dipped low over his eyes and I saw his nostrils flare out a little bit.
“What about me?”
Why did all boys have to be obstinate? Granted, he was rock hard and ready to go, but I wasn’t going to lay all my past out at his feet and not get something in return.
“What about your family?”
He sighed and gave his head a little shake from side to side. “Bax and Dovie are my family. Even Bax’s brother, Titus, to an extent, but that’s where it ends. My dad is an amoral, murderous piece of shit and I thought my mom was just too delicate to deal with it. Turns out she actually loves that monster to the exclusion of all others. I tolerate her at best. I’m ashamed I have their blood inside of me.”
Wow. I knew there was dissension in his family, that he had been disowned and that there were issues with his father’s refusal to claim Dovie as his own, but I had no idea how strongly or how deeply Race’s dislike of his parents ran.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was an asshole and a spoiled brat when I lived like them. It took making my own place in the world, finding my real family and my real place, to understand what life was really about.” His eyes glittered mischievously at me and one of his hands skated from my hip around the curve of my thigh and disappeared inside the damp folds already open and situated to accommodate his girth. “I know how to appreciate a good thing when it falls in my lap, Brysen. Don’t doubt it.”
I would have answered but he was using his fingertips to play with my clit and all my reason shut down to focus on the pleasure he was giving me and the lusty way he was now leering at me. I couldn’t just sit on top of him anymore while we rested together and teased each other. I think that was his intent. I moved my hands so they were resting on the defined cut of his abs and started a slow glide up and down that had his fingers dragging through the excitement our bodies moving together was generating. I felt his stomach contract and he moved the hand that was up behind his head to pinch the achy point of my breast. Man, was he good at multitasking. He seemed to be damn good at everything he did, and as I rode him, and he petted me and stroked me into yet another mind-bending orgasm, I wondered if that goodness made up for the badness that I knew wasn’t too far behind it.
HE WORE ME OUT. We were up all night, and the only time he let up on me was when I told him I had to at least text Karsen to let her know I wouldn’t be home. I didn’t get to sleep until well after the sun was up, and it was a testament to how exhausted I was that the noise coming up from the garage as the guys went to work in the morning didn’t even make me stir.
I finally pried my eyes open when the mattress dipped by my shoulder and a mug of coffee appeared in front of my blurry eyes. A kiss landed on my temple and I struggled up and shoved my hair out of my face.
Race was dressed in dark jeans and a gray pullover with a V neck. His hair was damp and he hadn’t bothered to shave. He looked delectable but had a serious expression on his face.
“Morning.”
I gulped the coffee and realized I was sitting naked in bed while he was fully dressed. I tried to pull the blanket up around myself but he laughed and moved it out of reach.
“More like afternoon. If you had early classes you missed them.”
Well, shit.
He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at me with what I was learning was his something-isn’t-right face.
“Remember last night when I told you we were going to have a chat about the TA?”
How was I supposed to remember anything beyond all the wonderful things his hands and mouth had been doing to me all night long?
“Wanna throw me a shirt or something and maybe that will jog my memory?”
He raised an eyebrow at me but turned and went to rummage in the single storage closet. He came back with a black T-shirt that I slipped on over my head. Next time I stripped and waited for him in bed, I would have to remember to leave my own clothes closer at hand.
Once I was covered, I tucked my hair behind my ears and gazed up at him questioningly.
“What about him?”
“He admitted right away that he was purposely trying to tank your grade and mess with your GPA. Any little thing he could get away with for lowering your grade, he was finding it and taking away points.”
I snorted. Race was a good five inches taller than my nemesis and there was no way a guy who was academic and used to scholarly debate could stand up to all the self-confident swagger and intensity of a guy like Race. Add in Bax, who looked like a criminal without even trying, and I figured it was impressive that Elliot the TA hadn’t packed his bags and moved to a different state after they threatened him.
“What a dick. Just because I wouldn’t go on a date with him.”
Race made a face at me. “No, that’s what I want to talk to you about. He was bummed you said no, but it wasn’t a big deal until someone started sending him texts and e-mails making fun of him, putting his personal business out in the world to mock and ridicule.”
I was stunned. “What?”
“Someone claiming to be you sent him some really jacked-up shit. Nasty stuff that would piss anyone off. It was all over his social media, all up in his face. He was tanking your grade in retaliation.”
I almost dropped the mug of coffee all over the bed.
“I didn’t do that. I would never do that. I don’t even have Facebook or Twitter and I’ve never once texted him. I may have e-mailed him about school, but that’s it.”
I was desperate for him to believe me. I didn’t want him to think I had brought any of this upon myself after he had gone out of his way to intervene on my behalf.
“Bry, calm down.” He reached out and ran his hand over my hair and let it fall on my shoulder. “I went through every inch of your computer trying to pull data out of it. I know you didn’t do any of that stuff, but it doesn’t change the fact that someone pretending to be you did. Someone tried to run you over and now someone is messing with your life in a more subtle way. There is obviously someone out there with a serious hard-on for you, and I need to figure out who it is.”
“This is crazy.”
“I know. I have to meet with Titus about some stuff, and then I’m taking y
our old laptop to a friend to see if he can pull more off of it than I managed to. I’m also going to ask him if he can figure out where the stuff from ‘fake you’ originated from.”
All I could do was look at him dumbly. I didn’t know what to say. He tapped me on the chin with the edge of his knuckle and clicked his tongue at me.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get a handle on it.”
“Before or after I lose everything?”
“If anyone wants to take anything else from you, they are going to have to get through me.” He dropped his mouth on mine then rose and shoved his hands through his hair, sending the blond strands sticking up all over the place. “By the way, I think I might have an idea to help you out with your mom getting some help.”
I recoiled automatically and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
“I’m not borrowing fifteen grand from you, Race. I’ll never be able to pay it back, and the idea of taking that kind of money from you while we’re sleeping together makes me want to throw up.”
He swore at me and leaned back and crossed his arms over his broad chest.
“We are doing more than sleeping together—get that through your pretty head right now. And you know I didn’t mean it like that. I know a guy that owes me and I think he might have some pull with a rehab center in town. It won’t be in the best part of town, but I think I can work something out.”
I let my head fall so that my forehead touched my knees. “Sorry. I’m just not used to anyone trying to help me out. My knee-jerk reaction is that things are all messed up, I don’t mean to automatically drag you into it.” I laughed a little and rolled my head to the side to look at him. “More minions?”
He grunted and moved to the tiny kitchenette to grab his keys.
“No. A fairly decent guy who likes to gamble on baseball, only his team had a shit year and now he’s in trouble. He’s been trying to get on top of it, and so far, all he’s done is dig the hole deeper, but if I let him square up by working out something with your mom, I think he would jump at the chance. I’m not promising anything, but it’s worth a shot.” He came back over and gave me a kiss that had me squirming against him, and not just because I was freaking out about murdering him with my morning breath. “I’ll give you a call in a bit to let you know what I find out.”
I just watched him saunter away and was left to ponder how I had gone from being so frozen and stuck in a life that felt like a shadow of what it should be, to being right in the center of a life full of danger and risk with a guy like Race at the heart of it. It felt so good that he wanted to step in and try and tidy up everything that had spilled over in the last year or so, but it also made me wary.
Race was obviously a problem solver, he always had a ready answer, but when I’d asked him about my dad’s future, he had been vague. I liked Race, probably was right on the cusp of being in love with him, but I didn’t know what that looked like if I had to process what happened if he ended up hurting my dad. It was that contradiction that I always seemed to wrestle with when it came to him. He would do something wonderful like try and get my mom the help she so desperately needed, then turn around and have to take out street vengeance on my dad. I couldn’t get my head fully wrapped around having feelings for the man capable of doing both of those things in the same breath.
Deciding I wasn’t going to have a concrete answer to that dilemma right at the moment—or maybe ever—I hauled myself out of bed and went to take a shower and get presentable for the day. I climbed back into my outfit from yesterday and decided I was skipping school for the rest of the day and that I would just go to work later on. I searched high and low in Race’s minimal space for something to eat, only to come up empty. I didn’t know how he could live like this. There was something to be said for living simple and not acquiring unnecessary things, but he kept that amazing car and I saw the way he dressed. He was taking minimalistic living to the extreme, and by now I had a firm enough grasp on how he worked to know there was a reason behind it.
My growling stomach wouldn’t allow me to hang around the loft without some kind of sustenance, so I made my way down the stairs and into the garage. Bax immediately popped his head out of his office when he caught sight of me. It looked like Race wasn’t the only person keeping an eye on me around these parts. He tilted his chin at me and looked like he was going to retreat back inside when I called his name. He turned around and propped a heavily muscled shoulder on the doorframe.
I walked up to him, and putting all the old fear and questions I had about him aside, wrapped my arms around his lean waist and gave him a hug. I felt him go stiff and pull back.
“What in the hell was that for?”
Both of his black eyebrows were raised to his hairline and the star tattooed by his eye was twitching. Bax was not a guy you just randomly squeezed out of gratitude, apparently.
“I just wanted to tell you thanks for getting that creep in my class to back off. I really appreciate it. Also, if you know anyone who would be interested in buying my car, could you maybe feel them out for me? I still owe money on it but I need to make enough on the sale to get a small apartment somewhere for me and my sister.”
“Say thank you with words, not hugs. All I did was lurk around. Race was pissed and the guy knew it. Someone messing around deep in your life like that”—he gave me a pointed look—“means someone wants to not only hurt you but make your life crumble from the inside out.”
I bit down on my lower lip. “Race says it’s someone with a hard-on for me.”
He nodded, dark eyes serious and steady. “Sounds like it.”
Well, there wasn’t anything I could do about it now, not until I had some idea who it was at least.
“Will you let me know about the car?”
“I’ll keep an eye out. BMWs always sell, but you know Race will lose his mind if you get rid of that car and take up residence in some slum down here.”
“Race can’t fix every problem I have right now. The ones he’s already helping me with are enough.”
Bax grunted at me and turned back around to go into his office but not before telling me very matter-of-factly, “You bring him a problem, he’s going to try and fix it. It’s what he does for the people he cares about, and if you don’t let him help you with it, he’ll take matters into his own hands anyway. Don’t make him go around you so that you have an excuse to be mad at him later. That isn’t fair and you’re both too smart for it.”
“Why do you even care, Bax?”
He glared at me over his shoulder and I saw him dig in his pocket for his smokes. “Race and I have a shit ton of history. Most of it good, a pretty big chunk of it bad. I’m in love with his sister and she makes me appreciate having someone that you’re willing to destroy an entire city for. Race will tear apart anything and anyone he thinks is a threat to you, so you need to handle him carefully. Being with guys like us . . .” He shrugged and put the end of his cigarette in his mouth. “It’s like being in love with a loaded weapon and you’re the safety.”
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t in love with Race and that I didn’t have anything left in me to be the safety for him, but Bax’s dark eyes saw the truth so I didn’t bother to lie. I just turned around and walked away wondering how I could be Race’s safety if I didn’t even know how to handle a gun.
Chapter 14
Race
YOUR OLD MAN IS a piece of work.”
I was impatiently tapping my fingers on the tabletop and staring balefully at Titus while he shoveled a burger and fries into his face. He had his tie thrown over his shoulder and mustard on his chin, but he still managed to look tough and no-nonsense in a totally different way from Bax. He also looked extremely worn out, like he hadn’t seen a bed or a good night’s sleep in days.
“You’re telling me.” I muttered it under my breath.
We were at a run-down diner across the street from his station house and the place was crawling with cops. Some in uniform, some out, all of them
giving me the side eye and clearly wondering what I was doing in their midst. It was like inviting the wolf to dine with the flock and they didn’t care for it one bit. I might have been more concerned if Titus seemed to care about it, but he was just eating away while I tried to pull information out of him about my dad. A task that would’ve been easier if he didn’t keep changing the subject to the dead bodies and to whoever it was that had assaulted Roxie.
“You really have no idea who might be behind it?” Titus asked the question around a mouthful of fries, making me roll my eyes at him.
“Do you really think if I had any clue who it was that I wouldn’t have told you, or Bax? He’s mad as hell about Roxie, and Nassir doesn’t like anyone trying to disrupt his business, so there would be a body somewhere.”
He choked a little and reached for his drink. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, Race. I’m a cop.”
I just shrugged. “It’s true.”
“It might be true, but talking like that makes shit premeditated.”
“No one knows anything, Titus.”
He considered me silently for a second and flipped his tie back down. He wiped off his face and hands and pushed the now totally empty plate to the side.
“Your dad thinks he can play both sides. He thinks he can give the feds just enough to guarantee him a place in WITSEC, but not the entire bag of tricks so that his ass is covered from the last of Novak’s guys.”
I snorted. It sounded like my dad. He was always looking for some angle to work to his advantage.
“The feds froze all of his assets.”
“That’s pretty standard in a RICO case. Criminals aren’t allowed to use dirty money to pay for their criminal defense.”
“What are the chances of him wiggling out of everything and getting put in the program?”
Titus swore and his dark brows dipped sharply over his eyes. “With Novak gone, the D.A. is less eager to go balls to the wall on Benny and the rest of his crew. He has his sights on fresh meat.” I didn’t miss the hint in his tone or the way his blue eyes sharpened on me. “Your dad very well may give his testimony to a grand jury, and then disappear.”