They hugged again. “I promise.”
The conveyor belt started up. “Good. Besides, this is a road trip. Fun, fun, fun.”
“Fun, fun, fun,” Lynn echoed as she played with her collar.
Chapter Ten
Lynn forced herself to not think about Paul.
Tried not to, anyway.
Considering she had the boom to think about as well, she knew she should get her priorities straight.
Move Justin, then find out what Paul had wanted.
“This is sort of pretty land.” They’d checked into their hotel, eaten lunch, and were now driving south on I-29 from Sioux Falls toward Vermillion, where Justin lived.
“You mean in a rolling kind of bland sort of way?” Terrie teased.
Lynn stared at her. “I thought you were used to this kind of land.”
“I’ve never been up here. I’ve been to Nebraska with Mark several times, but we never came up this far.”
“Do you know where we’re going?”
“Sure do.” Terrie pointed to her tablet, which she’d hooked into a holder suction-cupped to the inside of the windshield. “Waze, for the win. Straight shot down to Vermillion.”
Lynn’s fingers went to her collar again. “I hope Justin does well in Florida.”
“I have to say, I’m proud of you for doing this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Not just this. Putting yourself out there. Making new friends.” She grinned. “Maybe more than a friend.”
“He’s gay, and he’s way younger than me. Not my type.”
“I mean to top him, if he wants it.”
“I won’t rule out maybe one day topping him or anyone else, but you know me. For a relationship, I prefer—”
“A straight guy?”
“You know what I mean. I like watching guy-on-guy as much as the next person. I’m not poly anymore, that’s for sure. Especially after what I went through. And I prefer a Dom. Who’s not a dick.”
“Ah. Are you finally calling Paul a dick?”
Lynn couldn’t get irritated at Terrie’s playful smile. “No, I’m not.”
“Can I still call him a dick?”
“Considering that’s one of the nicer things I think you’ve called him since the shit hit the fan, sure.”
Terrie let out a sigh. “Sorry, honey. You know me. Momma bear. I’m protective.”
“I know. And I love you for it. I’m sorry I can’t pull out of this tailspin.”
“I get it. It frustrates me that I can’t fix this for you. Then for him to show—” She stopped talking mid-sentence. “Heeeyyy, pizza for dinner tonight? I’m sure Justin knows a great place.”
If this were a sitcom, Lynn would have laughed at how obvious Terrie was at trying to change the subject.
“He showed up yesterday,” Lynn said. “And he’s divorced.” She turned to look out the passenger window again. “You’re right, though. I’m not going to get my hopes up. Especially considering how fast he left yesterday.”
“I was kind of shooting him daggers with my eyes while mentally doing the Darth Vader chokehold on him, so no, I’m not shocked he left so fast. Plus, we told him we were on our way out of town. And I did sort of tell him to get the fuck out of there.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I ran him off, but I freaked out, okay?”
They fell into an easy silence for a few minutes. Lynn really wanted to change the subject, not just for herself but for Terrie’s sake as well. “So what kind of kink scene do you think they have up here?”
Terrie snorted. “I don’t know. Mark and I have never broached that subject with his brother. Mark discovered kink down in Florida when he went to college. He jokes that I corrupted his Midwest innocence.”
“Bull-fucking-shit. The guy’s a natural-born perv.”
“I know, right?” Terrie ran a hand through her short blonde curls. “Not a lot to do up here, I think. I guess there’s a lot of hunting in this area, though. Pheasants or ducks or something like that. I don’t know.”
Lynn let out a snort as an idea hit her.
“What?” Terrie asked. “I know that sound.”
Lynn had already reached for the pen and small notepad she always carried in her purse for occasions exactly such as this. “Hold on.” She started jotting the idea down before it completely slipped through her fingers like a greased weasel on crack.
Finally, she told Terrie. “What if an enterprising kinkster were to make custom butt plugs?”
“Uh, there are already enterprising kinksters making plenty of custom butt plugs of all various kinds. Why?”
“What if someone likes to hunt?”
“Huh?”
“You know, a hunter.”
“Um…a shotgun shell butt plug?”
“Nooo.” She grinned.
“I don’t know,” Terrie said. “Please don’t make me guess. My Magic Eight-Ball butt plug is at home. Just tell me.”
“You take your subby duck hunting with you—”
Terrie nearly choked. “No!”
Lynn grinned. “Yeah.”
“No!” She roared with laughter. “You’re kidding. No, wait. I know you. You aren’t kidding.”
“But that would be funny, right? Remember you told me the story of your whistling butt pl—”
“I thought you promised never to tell that story. Oh, my god. I wanted to kill Mark for laughing. How was I supposed to know that’s what a fart sounded like through the hole in the butt plug?”
“And wouldn’t a duck call butt plug be even funnier?”
Terrie rolled her eyes, but finally, a giggle escaped her. “Yes, it would. You frickin’ evil genius. Don’t you dare tell Mark that. He’ll want to make me one.”
“So why, exactly, shouldn’t I tell him? Especially when he now has the money to make his evil genius plans come to fruition?”
“Oh. Fuck you. You’re lucky I love you.”
Lynn tucked the notepad away. “Don’t lie to me. Admit it. The thought of a duck call butt plug up someone’s ass is absolutely fucking hysterical.”
“True. Especially if they were made to eat beans first.”
They both dissolved into a fit of laughter.
* * * *
They reached Vermillion a little before three and picked Justin up at his apartment. Before they left there, he showed them around and what he had to move.
“I have a couple of pieces in storage that belonged to our parents. A couple of bookcases, a couch, and some stuff. Not much. We just didn’t need it here.”
“Okay, so we don’t need to get a bigger truck than the one I reserved. The one I got should be plenty big enough for your things and that piece we’re getting from Mark’s brother.”
“You know,” Terrie said, “if you want to skip the car hauler, that’s fine, too. Save a little money.”
“No, I already paid for the one-way rental on it, and the rental on the hauler is cheaper than gas. If something happens, we’ll have a spare vehicle.”
Terrie shrugged. “Your call.”
Justin hugged both of them. “I really cannot tell you how much this means to me. I’ll pay you back, I swear.”
“No, you won’t,” Lynn firmly insisted, sharing a knowing look with Terrie. “I’m glad to pay it forward. I’ve been lucky in my life, and I don’t have any biological family that I know about. Or care about, even if I do happen to have some lurking somewhere. Please, consider this a gift.”
“Thanks.”
“So I guess Glen and Wade will be eager for you to get back down there, huh?” Terrie playfully asked.
Lynn loved how Justin blushed. “Maybe. I don’t know. We’ve been talking on FaceTime since I flew back Friday. I really like them. I just don’t know if I’m ready to jump into the deep end of the pool yet.”
“They’re nice guys,” Lynn said. “Even if it ends up being nothing more than friends, I trust them. I’ve known them for several years.”
“Ditto,” Terrie said.
/>
“That’s what everyone’s said.” He stared at his apartment. “I’m still trying to get a grip on the fact that I’ll be able to live however I want to and not have to look over my shoulder the whole time.”
Lynn frowned. “I don’t get it.”
“I’ve got family scattered all over around here. I never know when I’ll run into a cousin somewhere. The first and only guy I tried to date, between working and school and the stress, I finally gave up. He was really nice, but it wasn’t fair to him. He wasn’t really out, either. I was afraid what some of my cousins might think and what might happen if someone found out and it got back to Uncle George. With Rache in Florida, I really felt alone. I didn’t even know if she’d be okay with it. I didn’t come out to her until she and Andrew were up here for my graduation.”
“Sorry,” Terrie said.
“Not your fault. Oh, god. I didn’t mean for that to come out sounding like I was blaming Rache, either. Because I wasn’t. I just…I didn’t want to rock the boat, you know?”
“I know,” Terrie said. “We have to be careful around my family and in-laws. And the girls. Although now that they’re grown, I think they sussed out the truth on their own.”
They went to pick up the truck and car hauler and got them moved to Justin’s apartment. Lynn had no trouble driving the rig, even though she knew Mark would probably insist on doing most of the driving for the actual road trip portion of the journey.
They’d also rented moving pads and purchased a padlock for the back of the truck, as well as boxes, tape, and other supplies Justin would need for packing. By the time they got everything unloaded into his apartment, he insisted on taking them out to dinner at a local restaurant.
“I put in some more job applications this morning,” he told Lynn. “Online. At several places in Sarasota and even in Tampa. Rache told me that’s not too bad a commute.”
“Just remember, you’ve got a job as a game module tester waiting if the whole cancer scientist gig falls through,” Lynn teased.
She was glad they’d gone to dinner with him. It was fun talking to him, and he was a nice kid.
Lots of hope for the future, lots of plans.
Energy and enthusiasm.
“You don’t need to tempt me too hard there,” he said. “That would be a dream job. You’re so lucky you’re a writer. Self-employed.”
Terrie let out a snort. “Don’t let her fool you. Little Miss Control Freak goes through regular panic modes when she’s not got a release nearly ready to go. It’s not a guaranteed paycheck.”
“I’m not that bad.”
“Oh, please,” Terrie said. “I can set my calendar by that and your PMS.”
Lynn laughed, nearly choking on her iced tea. “Gee, thanks. I think.”
By the time they were finally heading back to Sioux Falls, it was nearly nine o’clock.
“I’m glad we did this,” Lynn said. “He deserves a chance to be happy after everything they went through as kids. I could complain about my childhood, but at least I knew instability as my normal. I didn’t really know my parents. I don’t even remember them. I was used to it. To have both your parents taken from you like that is horrible.”
“Yeah.” Terrie drove, neither of them disturbing the quiet for several long miles. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I’ll call him when we get home,” Lynn said, staring out the window. “Maybe by then I’ll know what the hell to say to him. You saved me from myself by showing up when you did.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
“I’m not…mad. No, I get it. I think about how we all reacted when Cris came back. I get it.” She turned to her friend. “But if he and I do end up back together, please promise me you’ll try to get along with him.”
“How are you going to handle telling him about the boom? How do you know that’s not why he came by? Awfully coincidental, dontcha think?”
“Because no one else knows about the boom but us. Derrick and Marcia and Ed won’t say anything. I didn’t say anything, and unless you or Mark did, it’s still a secret. The media hasn’t even come after us yet.”
Terrie frowned. “True.” It sounded like she grudgingly admitted that.
“This feels like a fantasy,” Lynn said. “It doesn’t feel real.”
“It’ll feel real enough when that money drops into our accounts.”
Lynn wouldn’t truly believe it until that happened. “Exactly.” Silence engulfed them for a few more minutes. “I always wanted to write that urban fantasy series.”
“I know.”
“Now we can self-pub it and do it right, get really good covers for them.”
“I was thinking the same thing. You won’t have to sex them up. So what if they aren’t X-rated? You might find a great audience for them.”
“I know.” Lynn sat, thinking. “I still can’t believe this happened to us.”
“It’s about time something good did.”
Chapter Eleven
Lynn had no trouble keeping her mind off Paul the rest of Tuesday. Terrie cracked the whip on her to finish a set of edits due back to their editor, so that kept her mind busy and kept her on-task. Then they met Justin in Sioux Falls for dinner at one of his favorite restaurants and spent nearly two hours with him, talking.
On Wednesday, Terrie and Lynn both had to do administrative stuff, like promotions, answering e-mails, and handling the business side of Lynn’s writing career before they drove down to Vermillion to have dinner with Justin again.
Thoughts of Paul kept slipping through Lynn’s mind, no matter how she tried to quash them.
The sad look in his eyes.
Like he’d been hurting as much as she had.
Then there was the anger, too, which fought for a grip inside her. That he’d just shown up.
Or maybe it was her anger over the fact that, after she’d looked up when Paul’s divorce was finalized, he’d waited a couple of months to contact her.
They spent all morning Thursday down in Vermillion helping Justin get the rest of the things he needed out of storage and packing. Justin’s roommates would help him finish loading the truck over the weekend so that, on Monday morning, he could leave for Florida after Lynn met him in Vermillion to pick up the moving truck. Then she’d drive down to Omaha to meet Terrie and Mark.
Thursday afternoon, the women returned to Sioux Falls, rented a second car for Lynn to use while Terrie headed to Omaha the next day to pick up Mark and visit family, and returned to the hotel to get showers. They’d grab dinner after cleaning up and relaxing for a little while.
Terrie shooed Lynn into the shower first since she wanted to call Mark and update him.
While in there, Lynn couldn’t help but think about Paul, the pained look on his face when she mentioned Justin, or the way her heart still drummed at light speed just from looking into his sweet hazel eyes.
How sad he’d looked.
He’d gained weight, but she didn’t care. More, she missed his goatee and mustache.
While she’d always wondered how she’d feel if she ever saw him again, part of her brain had resigned itself to that remaining a fantasy.
Well, point proven. She still loved him. Had he stared into her eyes and pointed at the ground, even with Terrie standing right there, Lynn would have done it. Just dropped right to her knees.
Without hesitation.
That warred with her anger at him over waiting to find her.
No matter what she’d told Terrie, she knew she couldn’t wait.
And considering the boom about to hit her bank account, she didn’t have to. An idea began forming in her mind. By the time she was out of the shower, she knew she had to do it or risk losing her nerve. Terrie stepped into the bathroom to take her shower and closed the door behind her.
Lynn grabbed her phone and sank onto her bed, her heart once again pumping, roaring, blood surging through her veins as pain and memories and longing and love still mixed together in
a toxic soup for her soul that she knew she had to settle one way or another.
Now.
It would drive her to true madness if she didn’t.
Lynn stared at her phone. Specifically, at the screen.
She’d pulled up her favorites list from the contacts.
Paul’s name, of course, still sat at the top of the list. Still the first of her ICE contacts, too.
Which she knew was flat-out dumb. It should be Terrie or Mark at the top, who were currently numbers two and three on her ICE list.
Still, yet another thing she hadn’t been able to force herself to do, to change.
To erase one more tendril of a connection to Him.
She heard the shower start in the bathroom. Meaning she had a few minutes before Terrie emerged.
Grabbing her iPad, Lynn pulled up the app for the airline and their flight information. There was a flight tomorrow morning from St. Pete-Clearwater, with seats still available. She knew his full legal name and date of birth. His social security number she knew she had somewhere at home, but not with her.
She retrieved her credit card from her purse and then, after taking a deep breath, she tapped the entry on her phone for a number she hadn’t used in far too long.
Simultaneously hoping his voice mail would pick up and terrified that it would, she was about to disconnect the call when he answered, almost sounding out of breath.
“Lynn?”
Her breath caught, a lump swelling in her throat. “Yeah.”
“Are…are you okay?”
She wouldn’t lie to him. “No. I’m not. Why do you sound out of breath?”
“I wanted to run to a conference room so I could close the door while I talked to you.”
“Oh.” She took a deep breath. “Why did you stop by Sunday?”
“What?”
“It’s a simple question.” She hated that it came out sounding so bitchy, but she was barely hanging on to her sanity at that point.
“I…” He sighed. “I was hoping you didn’t totally hate me. I wanted to apologize to you in person. I felt I owed you that, at the very least.”
Her heart fell. “That’s all?”
There was a long pause, and she thought maybe the call dropped. “No,” he softly said.