She ran her fingertips over the screen , tracing Michael ’s facial features. It was the same picture as on the trinket, but this was a larger version. She could clearly see how much he cared for her, the girl that was her, the girl that was hard to identify. This was her other life, the life that was taken from her.
Then she spotted a necklace. It was a clear b eaded crystal butterfly pendant looped with a silver chain. It was beautiful. She couldn’t recall how she got it or who gave it to her, but she sensed that the necklace had been very special . With her fingertips, Claudia brushed the area on her skin where the butterfly would have rested.
They kept this life from her. Everyone she trusted had told her lies ; Austin, Katherine, Holly, maybe even Michael , and who else? Desperately, she fought back her tears again. She wasn ’t going to cry. She wasn ’t going to shed a tear because of them, but she felt so alone, so empty. Her life was a lie, a big fat lie.
The room started to spin. Her head pounded from processing too much information i n one day. She felt like she was losing her mind. It was too much to bear. Needing to steady herself, she sat on the bed and crawled inside the blanket. Her eyes began to well up and she couldn ’t control the tears any more. They streamed down her face like a waterfall as all the hurt and anger poured out of her.
Her whole body pa ined as it shuddered from rage and sadness, but mostly from loneness. Never had she felt so alone, so empty , and so afraid. If she couldn ’t even trust her guardian angel, who could she trust? With her heart being ripped apart and lots of question that could not be answered, she cried harder.
Her tears were also from betrayal, and most of all she knew that the life she had could never be what it once w as . Whoever her friends and family were, she was almost certain they had no memories of her. Why was this done to me ? Bawling , g asping from trying to catch a breath in between, she cradle d the T-shirt for comfort, curled herself into a ball , and cried herself to sleep.
Michael flatten ed himself ag ainst the structure of the building near the window. He had been concerned how their kiss affected Claudia. He disappeared just long enough for her to turn away , and came back when Davin warned him she had jumped out the window and escaped. Immediately, he went searching for her. He thought she would go to Gamma ’s house. Never did he imagine she would find her way back to her home.
Seeing her cradled in the comforts of his T-shirt brought many happy memories, but he was deeply pained to see her this way. Michael wanted to wash away her pain. He fought the urge to comfort her, to wrap his wings around her and whisk her away to the clouds, a place she felt so serene, but he couldn ’t. All he could do was watch her cry herself to sleep. As if it was his pain , tears rolled down his face. He could only conclude she ’d found something, but what? Surely, Caleb and Vivian had taken everything , or ha d they? They ’d missed the T-shirt, but what else had they miss ed ?
Knowing he was responsible for her grief, he heaved a deep , sorrowful sigh. This was not the way it was suppose to happen. He would have to find a way to be with her and soon, if she would even consider taking him back. His heart and soul felt so heavy from being responsible and for seeing her t his way, he wished he could take back what he had d one and do what he thought of doing in the first place …run away with her. As these thoughts circulated in his mind, he watched her chest rise and fall , gasping now and then, the sound that can only be produced by someone who had been crying with an immense broken heart.
Chapter 16
I was walking, and noted I was wearing a white dress. All I could hear was the sound of my black heels contacting the dirt road. For no apparent reason, I took them off, holding them i n my right hand as I sw u ng them to the rhythm of my steps. The warm breeze brushed against my skin , and the smell of the surrounding vibrant flowers awaken ed me.
Then out of nowhere, he stood behind me. My heart skipped a beat from his sudden proximity and I dropped by shoes. With my back still toward him , he extended my arms with his. I could feel his firm chest and his heart thumping, synchronize d with mine.
Out of the wild flowers butterflies appeared. First there were just a few, but then there were more and more by the second. Thousands of butterflies fluttered , creating a tunnel where we stood. It was surreal , and I was so mesmerized by the magic of this moment that all I could do was smile as my heart was filled with elation.
The butterflies spiraled up and disappeared into the sky. I turned to see him , but his hands cupped my head. My eyes were closed from the bright light and the pain from his touch.
“Stop, ” I pleaded.
He didn’t stop and he didn ’t respon d . The pain intensified. “Please. You ’re hurting me. Don ’t do this to us.”
“I ’m sorry. I have no choice, ” he said sorrowfully. “Please understand , my love; I ’m doing this for us.” I th ought that was what he said. His word s sounded jumbled. I wasn ’t sure.
I knew I could make him stop, but I didn’t. Knowing this was something he did to keep us together kept me from fighting. “I ’ll never forget you, no matter what you try to do to me. Memories are not kept in the minds, but in the hearts. Remember….” Then it became hazy.
My body jerked and my eyes shot open. It was daylight and the sun was out. Vaguely remembering my dream, I turned my head to the right as if I had always kn own the digital clock was there. The time flashed 12:30 p.m . How long had I been here, sleeping? For some strange reason, I felt like someone was watching me. I got up and looked around to make sure no one was hiding and then carefully peeked out the window to scan the perimeter.
Looking around the room I saw the mess I ’d created yesterday. It looked as though a tornado had been here. Great! Nice job! As I was putting things back the way they were, I found a paystub with a name on it. Clau dia Emerson …w as that me? Angels d id n ’t have last names , so how could this be ? I worked at Fashion Wear? Then I knew what I had to do next.
Because of my tremendous speed, I was there in no time. Just before I entered the store , I looked around the back of the building, inspected the parking lot , and wherever else I could check out . I d id n ’t know if it was just m y nerve s or if someone was following me. Whatever the reason, I hated feeling like someone was there .
Feeling utterly nervous to see Patty again, and this time knowing we were good fr iends once upon a life time ago , I walked in. Like the last time I was t here to use the restroom, I observed the high ceiling and the friendly atmosphere. It was difficult to conceive that I once held a job. Regardless, I was very proud of myself. It seemed as though I would ’ve had tons of fun since I was working with a friend.
“Hello and welcome to Fashion Wear, ” Patty s aid with a huge friendly smile.
“Hello, ” I waved , a nd I was fixated on her. Patty had delicate facial features and her sweet voice was very pleasant. She was tall with a slender frame , and her brunette color ed hair was just above her shoulder s , shorter than it was in the pictures. She wore a pair of dark jeans and the same shirt that was on display, teal blue with a small flower to the side. It was very attractive on her light olive skin.
“Do you need any help?”
“I…I…ummm. I ’m just…looking, ” I stuttered, breaking out of my observation, not reall y knowing what her question was . I headed toward a rack of clothes and pretend ed to be interested. The other girl, Nanci , that was t here the last time , gave me a smile. Several customers walked in a nd I watched Patty converse with them. She was a natural , and I wondered how I had been as a salesperson . Her eyes caught my eyes here an d there, most likely que stioning if I needed help , or wonder ing if I was going to steal something.
After the costumers left, I grabbed several T-shirt s and a pair of jeans and asked her if I could try them on.
“I love these T-shirts, ” she said cheerfully. “I bought one too.”
“How long have you worked here ?” I asked, surprised at myself for being so blunt.
“Too long, ” she laughe d
. “I ’m not sure if I w ill work here after I graduate though.”
“You go to school?”
She looked at me like it was a strange question and replied, “I hope I don ’t look too old, ” she giggled .
“No…I mean….”
“No worries, ” she smiled again. “I haven ’t seen you around. Well…except for the last time I almost knock you over.”
My heart stopped from not knowing what to say. “I…I just moved here recently.”
“That ’s great, ” she said excitedly. “What school are you attending?”
“I…ummm…well…you see…I dropped out.” It was somewhat true , I guessed. I wasn ’t sure.
“Oh…no biggy. School is over rated anyway. I ’m sure you had your reasons.”
Patty was so sweet. She didn’t judge or criticize me. I felt like she was the type of friend who made you feel good no matter what you did or sa id , the kind of friend who would be there for you through thick and thin.
“Here, why don ’t I take you to the dressing room? We can talk for days standing out here. In fact, why don ’t we hang out sometime?” she ask ed , leading us to the back, straight for the dressing room. “I can show you the town.”
“How about tonight ?” I jumped, then fe lt like a dork for rushing things.
She stopped and turned. “I would love to tonight, but…I ’m so sorry.” Her eyes cringed. “I ’m going out with my boyfriend.” She continued walking.
Patty had a boyfriend. Wow! And of course I couldn ’t rememb er who the heck he was , let alone his name. Feeling frustrated from not being able to remember, I just smiled so she couldn ’t sense that I was upset. “It ’s okay. Next time.”
We were standing at the dressing room. “Here you go. Let me know if you need anything. My name is Patty, by the way. I don ’t remember telling you. And your name is…?”
“Claudia . My name is Claudia.”
She turned on her heel and walked away. As soon as she was out of my sight I let out a big breath. Hiding myself inside the dressing room, I sat on the chair panting like crazy. It was too difficult to pretend when all I wanted to do was tell her we were friends. Bent over, I cover ed my face with the palms of my hands. Tears welled up, but I wasn ’t going to cry. She couldn ’t see me this way , and I knew if I shed a single tear, it would pour uncontrollably. A soft knock on the door forced me to gather myself.
“You okay in there?”
I stood up, panicking , wondering if she knew what I was doing. She c ould n ’t see what I was doing. She d id n ’t have a clue, so I told myself to calm down. Had I been in t here that long that she would worry? “Yeah , I ’ll be right out.”
After I walked out, I saw Patty near the cash register. Nanci was attending to a c u st o mer . It had suddenly got ten busy.
“I ’ll take these two T-shirt s , ” I said , placing them on the counter.
“Good choice.” Patty rang them up. “That will be $21.50.”
My face turned red. I was embarrassed beyond words. Checking the pockets of my jeans, I hope d for some miraculous reason I had placed the credit cards there instead of back inside my wallet, but of course I had n ’t . And I was so mad at myself for forgetting to go back to Gamma ’s house to pick up my purse. “Hmmm…I can ’t believe this, but I forget to bring my credit card. I thought I put them in my pocket. I ’m so sorry.” I felt like a huge dork again .
“No worries. It ’s okay. I do that all the time .” She giggled like it was no big deal. I knew she didn ’t forget her card like that . She was being nice.
“I ’ll save these for you here. You ’ll just have to come back and buy the m . If you call me ahead of time, we can go out. I s that a plan?”
“Sure, ” I smiled. “That is an awesome plan.”
Patty reached inside her back pocket and pulled out a cell phone. “Why don ’t you give me your number?”
“Hmmm…I forgot my cell phone, ” I blushed, thinking of a reason why I didn ’t have one. She must have thought I was a weirdo.
“Okay, then you can just tell me the number and I ’ll punch it in.”
“Hmmm…I just got my phone and I didn ’t memorize the number. I ’m so sorry.”
“No need to apologize. I forget my phone number all the time. And don ’t you just hate it when you misplace your phone? I feel like I ’ve lost a part of me. We rely on this thing way too much. I have like my life in here ; everyone ’s number s, my work schedule , and everything else. And if I le ft it at home or if I ever lost it, I wouldn ’t know who I was . You know what I mean ?”
“Yes, ” I nodded. “I kn o w what you mean.” But I was already lost , with or without the cell phone.
The line started to get longer and I had taken enough of her time. “I ’ll come back when I can, ” I said as cheerfully as I could , because the truth of the matter was I didn ’t know when I would be back , or if I would be back at all. “Thanks for all your help.”
“No problem, ” she beamed a bright smile. “Hope you ’ll be able to come back soon.”
“I will, ” I lied . “It was nice to meet you.” Hesitantly , I walked out the door. I turned my head and saw her helping the next costumer who anxiously waited for her turn.
I thought coming here and talking to Patty would help me remember, but it didn ’t. The only g ood that came out of being here was that I got to meet her and we were somewhat friends. If o nly I had a dam n cell phone ; if only I remembered to carry a purse like a normal teenager. How d id I know if my name was even Claudia Emerson besides the evidence on the paystub? I didn ’t have a single identification on me. Then it dawned on me. I needed to go back to the place where I lost my memory, back to the place where it all began …Specus.
Chapter 17
Going to Specus by myself was not a great idea. In fact, it was just plain stupid, but I didn ’t care. I ’d gladly face whatever was there to find the missing pieces of my life. My anger and determination w ere leading the way.
When I got there, I found myself near the pool of water. It was beautiful and mesmerizing . The light beamed at just the right ang le to produce the colors that it reflected, giving me a tranquil feeling. It was hard to imag ine such beauty could also be so dea d ly . I recalled the water being acidic. Just for fun , I threw a pebble in. It sizzled and disappeared. Yup! Having c onfirmed that it was dangerous, I walked away.
I sat on a small boulder a nd gazed around, hoping to fi nd something—anything. Will ing my bow and keepin g it close to me, I moved about as quietly as I could. There was someone t here , I was sure of it. I leaped from one boulder to another checking my surroundings, then decided to take a rest since I di dn ’t find anyone snooping . Thinking I must be out of my mind, I sat down on the pebbled ground . When I lay my bow beside me , I was surprised to fe el a bump on the surface . Shuffl ing the dirt, I uncovered the hidden object and picked it up . I found the same butterfly necklace I was wearing in the picture .
I suddenly recall ed placing the necklace through Aliah ’s heart. I knew I had been the one that destroyed him, but the details had been unclear up till now. He had bl own up, but somehow the necklace had remained intact. It must have been made from a special crystal . That was the only possible explanation for it s surviv al . A huge sm ile played across my lips . I t was something special from my past , a beginning to gluing the missing part s of my life back together. I placed it gently on the palm of my hand and kept my eyes glued to it as if it would flutter away like a real butterfly if I blinked.
I carefully raised it up to t he light that beamed from the cracks above. It was absolutely compelling as it sparkled . Marv el ing and enjoying this simply beauty, I jerked when it turned b l ack and started to vibrate. What the heck? I stood up in alarm and shoved it inside my front pocket.
“Claudia, the dark shadows are here. They mu st have followed you.” His tone was urgent, sounding alarmed.
Effortlessly, I jumped on top of the boulder, startled by th e sudd
en appearance of the stranger . I was so consumed by the novelty of the necklace I had let my guard down. With my bow ready to shoot, I pointed at him.
“Wait .” His hands were raised in front of him as if he could be protected from it. “I ’m not your enemy. Come with me before it ’s too late.”
His voice sounded familiar. “Are you Callum ?”
“Yes, you remember me from the ground s of Paradi s us. I ’m an Earth angel, just like your grandmother. She and I were friend s. Hurry, you must decide now .”
Gamma’s friend? She never mentioned him, but then again, she didn ’t mouth a word about any angels until her deathbed. I didn ’t like to make decisions under pres sure, but it was too late . A massive group of evil beings entered l ike a swarm of bees . It was heart wrenching knowing I would be shooting at humans , but they ’d already lost their souls to the darkness . Having no choice, I sta rted shooting. Silver flames darted toward them, hitting precisely and piercing straight throug h them. They incinerated into ashes.
Like the demons at the warehouse , red bolts shot out from their hands, something between lightning and burning flames. There were too many of them. Callum f ou ght alongside me with a sword that he hadn’t had a second ago. I shot as many as I could, but I couldn ’t get to all of them and they surrounded us.
As fast as I could, I shot them or their flames that darted straight for me. It looked like fire work s of red and silver as they lit the room in a massive , disorder ly fashion. Too busy trying to survive, I didn ’t see them enter , but f rom a distan ce I saw Austin, Davin and Michael battling the demons ; but I was most baffled to see Michael.