* * *
The next four days came and went in a blur. Tree was happy to get the book I highlighted for him and tried to cheer me up. He even sang the silly songs we used to chant when we were little. I couldn’t help but laugh and play along. Carrie joined in, remembering the lyrics herself. During that brief period, it was like we stepped back in time. We were no longer young adults struggling to make sense out of our lives. Instead, we were living in the moment, three best friends not caring how dorky we sounded in a cafeteria full of people.
But they weren’t only my best friends. They were my family as well, and the only ones in my life–besides Brayden, but he wasn’t around anymore–who had always been there for me and vice versa. And honestly, if it wasn’t for them, I’d be more lost than I already was.
My ears continued to ring when Matt came around, which drove me crazy. I tried to politely avoid hanging out with him, but the more I declined his invitations, the more he persisted. I finally gave in and suggested hanging out on Friday night, but he told me he had other plans, so I was off the hook. Carrie had plans too. Her aunt arrived in town, and she had family obligations. Tree was also busy. One of his dad’s employees had been sick all week with the flu, and his dad needed his help in the garage.
My mom called me on Wednesday and told me she had the next four days off, but a friend of hers offered to take her to Vegas, and of course, she decided to do that instead of coming home. That stung me pretty hard, but I forced myself to sound happy because I didn’t want her to come home out of guilt. She did say she’d make it up to me, but whatever. She was more like a fleeting ghost in my life than a mother anyway.
The cat remained outside my house every day, and I was always happy to see him. A couple times I tried to lure him inside, but he wasn’t interested, however, he did allow me to pet him, and we were becoming friends.
Now that it was Friday evening, I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was spring break, and I already finished my schoolwork for the semester, cleaned the house, and did laundry. I thought maybe tomorrow, Carrie and I could see a movie and hangout at the mall, but what was I going to do until then?
As I stood in the living room, pondering whether to channel surf or read a book, I heard a vehicle outside, and then a bright light flooded through the front window, sweeping across the room. Looking out the window, I saw the cat sitting at the edge of the lawn, staring at a pair of taillights disappearing down the road. I squinted, but couldn’t tell what type of vehicle it was. Someone probably got lost and went down my street to turn around, I reasoned, while admiring the sky that was turning a beautiful violet color. I looked up, and high above the trees hung the yellow moon, a glowing orb becoming God to its star children. I imagined Nathan’s pickup pulling up like it had last Sunday and rested my forehead on the cold glass. My heart throbbed with the ache of missing him and the relationship we could have had. I also missed my father and Brayden.
Angry at myself for allowing the men who were once in my life and had disappointed me still affect me in this manner, I paced around the room with my clawed hands woven in my hair. I was strong. I didn’t need them, and before I realized what I was doing, I found myself rushing to my car. I didn’t care if someone was watching me–a feeling I had all week–or about the two premonitions I recently had, or if that guy was stalking me. All I knew at this point was, if I stayed in this house tonight, I’d go frickin’ crazy.
I aimlessly drove around for a while, trying to figure out where to go. I thought about Café Nation, but I didn’t feel like going to a familiar place. Really I just wanted to disappear for a while, and go where nobody knew me. But where could that be? Then a thought occurred to me, and I made a sharp turn off a dirt road near downtown. There was a seedy bar in an old, shabby building a few miles away that allowed teenagers and would be perfect for my agenda.
I parked next to a street lamp in the far corner of the parking lot, not caring how dangerous this might be, and stepped out of my car. Bright stars lit the dark sky like fireflies, and the moon hung full and proud above me. A sharp, smoky smell filled my nostrils, reminding me of a campfire. Someone must have been burning leaves in the woods nearby, but as I neared the bar, the smell transformed into beer and cigarettes. Laughter and music spilled out the open door. When I walked in, a couple young guys turned and smiled at me. They were gross and creepy looking. I almost walked out but held my chin up instead.
“Hi,” the sandy blond one said, winking his lazy eye at me. “Are you here alone?”
“No. I’m waiting for someone,” I lied, looking away, hoping he’d get the hint.
A middle-aged, overweight guy, who smelled like fried chicken bumped into me, but I recovered my footing before I fell. He didn’t even stop to say he was sorry. Asshole.
“You better watch it, honey. A little thing like you might get trampled here,” the blond guy said, his eyes lingering on my face, making my skin crawl.
“I’m fine,” I said, turning away. I hurried to the pool tables and could feel his gaze on my back, which made me wonder what I would do if he were to force himself on me. I’d scream and kick him, but that would be the best I could do. I shot a nervous glance over my shoulder and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him leave with his friend. Thank God.
The sharp sound of billiard balls breaking, caught my attention. A frizzy, blonde chick with dark roots showing, stood there with a pool stick in her hand. Her acid wash jeans bulged at her hips and thighs, and her black Harley shirt barely hid her flabby potbelly. Did she even own a mirror? She could be attractive with the right clothes and a trip to the beauty salon, but I guess the dark-haired biker looking dude with the mullet found her appealing. They were obviously together, and when he bent over the pool table to make a shot, she grabbed his ass. The white ball leaped over another, right off the table. A deep, gurgling sound escaped her lips–laughter.
I moved through the haze of smoke, trying not to bump into anyone, to the back of the bar near a corridor. There was a lot of hooting and hollering and beer bottles clinking. I took a couple steps back, hoping nobody would turn their attention on me. Eighties music played over the loud speakers, and I thought about Tree (he loved playing ‘80s music on his electric guitar). If he knew about me coming here alone, he’d rip me a new one. But I didn’t care because right now, I’d do just about anything to forget about my life.
I rested against the edge of the wall, feeling awkward in this grubby place. But despite my uneasiness, I stayed and watched the people for a while, wondering what type of lives they had. I bet most of them had parents who loved them and knew where their place in life was, unlike me, the freak-of-nature. I stared at my shoes, telling myself to forget about this stuff and not to dwell on it.
And then a high-pitched ringing sound went off in my ears, and the hairs on the back of my neck rose. In the time it took me to look up, catch a glimpse of a robust man with curly brown hair enter the bar, and a guy call out, “Hey, Romulus,” to him, someone seized my wrist and pulled me into the dark corridor. A gentle hand covered my mouth, pulling my back against him.
“Shhhhh. Don’t make a sound,” the soft voice said. I knew that voice and had been longing to hear it for almost a week now. He moved me behind him, still holding my wrist, and peeked around the corner. “I don’t think he saw you,” he said. I strained my eyes to see his face, but it was clothed in darkness. “C’mon,”–he took my hand–“we need to get out of here.”
He led me to a door at the end of the long corridor. We slipped out into the frigid night, and with his hand still in mine, we hurried to the parking lot. When we reached my car, we stopped. He dropped my hand and faced me. He had on the same jacket he wore the first night we met and was still unbelievably cute, but discontent masked his face. When he fixed his eyes on mine, I could see the sadness and longing in the depths of them.
I didn’t know what to think. Why was he following me? Who was that Romulus guy in the bar? Why did my ears ring when he w
alked in, and a haunting feeling came over me? I wanted to know, but I also wanted to fall into Nathan’s arms. The connection was still there. I could feel the energy sizzling between us, and if he was following me, there had to be a good reason. I think I knew the answer though, I was in danger, but why? I had to find out, and he would tell me now. If not, then I’d walk away and that would be that.
“Nathan, what the hell–”
He held a hand up, halting me. I had no idea what he was going to tell me, but I was more than willing to listen to see what he had to say.
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but I need to get some things off my chest first.” He stepped forward, closer to me, and the butterflies in my chest reemerged from their slumber.
“I’m a wreck without you, Paige,” he said. “I can’t eat … I can’t sleep … Sometimes I can’t even breathe. You’re all I think about.” He bent his head and closed his eyes. Rubbing his temples with his fingertips, he continued in a low, woeful voice. “This week has been the worse week of my entire existence.” He dropped his hands, his deep blue eyes capturing mine. I opened my mouth, but he raised a finger. “Please, let me finish. I need to get this out.”
I nodded and gestured for him to continue.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was afraid if I were to confide in you, I’d scare you off.” He paused and took a disturbing breath. “I made a huge mistake because I lost you … I want another chance … I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together.” We both stepped forward, closing the gap between us. He held my face in his cool hands. His eyes were smoldering with passion. “It’s always been you, Paige. I’ve waited my whole life for you. You’re the air I breathe, my heart and soul. Without you, I’m in hell.”
“I feel the same way,” I whispered, my heart skipping several beats. I couldn’t deny how I felt about him. I knew it was crazy. We only met a week ago, but so what? Carrie’s grandparents met at a party after the war and married two weeks later, I reminded myself.
He lowered his face, his soft lips on mine, but then he pushed me aside. I stumbled against my car, bewildered, until I saw what was happening.
Chapter Six
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