But, on the other hand, she wasn't ready to wait until her case gets worse like that young woman who was in the next room when "Nadine" was in that hospital (what was that woman's name..?)
That woman's case got worse in a no time.. Despite all the drugs.. Despite all the radiotherapy she was given, She won't get better.. She turned in front of "Nadine’s eyes to a skinny creature with more of bones than flesh, That looked all the time at people in starring horrified eyes.. "Nadine" was so afraid of turning to something similar if her case got worse too, specially that she was the closest person to the poor young woman in her last days, and saw her closely more than anyone else..
She even noticed that the young woman's husband ("Rania".. Her name was" Rania") didn’t come a lot.. Didn't come at all to be exact.. At least "Nadine" didn't see the bastard do, but the dying woman told her that he must be taking care of their young girl.
You couldn't just leave a young girl alone at home to come see a dying woman, right..? She made as much excuses for him as she could.."Nadine" felt sorry for the young woman dying alone like this, the fate she won't let happen to her.. That was the last thing she would want to face (another encouraging reason to do what she was about to do..)
That was why "Nadine" got used to spend a lot of time with the woman, in the non-visiting hours, trying to keep her accompanied.
"Rania" told her everything about her wishes and fears.. About her little girl "Nancy" who loved to sleep in her ballet dress, and about the white bed cover that she made herself for her daughter, and finally about the little girl's bedroom that was all blue, with all those handmade dolls that she did herself because she used to love sewing.. She told "Nadine" about her wish (If she stayed alive) to travel around the world, Her wish to visit different museums around the world and give more time to painting than she used to in her original life.. About her last wish of just living to see her daughter (who was only five years old then) wearing her wedding dress.. At that last wish both of them couldn't help but burst into tears silently in each other’s arms, which was better than any kind of sympathy words.
On the other hand, "Nadine" told her new friend all about her wish of getting rid of the tumor she had more than anything else, and her wish of finding a meaning for her life, And for sure ,Of finding the love of her life.. “Nadine" knew that she must be looking ridiculous climbing the chair next to her neighbor's bed, covering herself with a blanket and just sit there and talk, trying not to feel embarrassed while telling all those shameful secrets.. But her neighbor was listening with concern, putting an encouraging smile on her face, and at the end she told "Nadine" she wished she could do all this and even more..
But why did all of this seem so far away now, although it was just a couple of months ago..?
"Nadine" remembered well that day, when she went to her neighbor's room as she used to do every day, but that day she found the room empty as if no one ever slept there, and when she asked the nurse, she told her that she was gone forever, and left our world silently during the night.
But before leaving she left "Nadine" something to remember her with.. The nurse told her that while handling her that unfinished wool scarf.. Unfinished Because the one making it had to leave our world quickly before finishing it.. It was made in "Nadine's favorite colors, which her neighbor knew from all their chattering together.. That's why she burst into tears in that moment.. From the idea, the concern, and from her friend's concentration with her words, while "Nadine" herself felt that she was only talking crap, "Rania" never told her of that scarf she was making for her.. Maybe that's her way of saying goodbye..?
Wasn't the most shocking loss she passed by in her life, but it shocked her enough.. Her whole world lately was circling around her neighbor.. Her drugs.. Her radiotherapy..
What also helped her to concentrate with her neighbor's condition was that almost all of "Nadine’s” relatives stopped caring after finding there was no hope for her.. After all, they have more important things to do with their lives than caring for an ill woman with no chance to survive..
The most shocking part for "Nadine" was all those drugs the woman took.. All those radiotherapy sessions she was subjected to.. All the prayers she prayed hoping to get better.. All of this went with the wind.. What was the use of anything then..?
That was why "Nadine" made her choice of leaving the hospital without telling anyone, and also leaving this whole world on her terms and on the time she picks.. She won't wait till she loses her hair and her beauty like "Rania".. Won't wait to see sympathy in the eyes of people around her, not to tell there won't be a lot of them.
She startled on seeing a guy grabbing a chair to sit on her table.. He must be the one.. He knew her from the blue dress with the white scarf like she told him she would wear..
She didn't have a clue about knowing him or how to recognize him as he didn't agree on telling her in the emails they exchanged.. She thought that weird, but since he was supposed to be a professional, and since she was the one who needed him, she decided to follow his rules, deciding it was a clever thing to do from his point of view.. If he suspected something or found her suspicious looking he'd be free to leave without being endangered, as his job wasn't exactly above suspicions.
- Tropical fruit tea please..
He told the waiter who stopped by their table.. Really..? Tropical fruit tea and a hit man....? That was too far from what she imagined he would be like..
While in the back, played another song that she couldn't understand too, though it made the perfect soundtrack for her story. Had she known that, she would've listened more carefully..
***
Come on, milord..
And sit by my table..
It's so cold out there..
U will feel better here..
Milord .. Edith Piaf..
***
She watched him looking through the file she brought with her with the information needed about the victim whom he didn't know till now.. Surprisingly She found him an ordinary guy who could pass by you any the time without you even noticing.. Nothing extra ordinary about him.. Not too handsome, too dangerous looking.. Just a normal guy who wouldn't grab anyone's attention.. She wouldn't be overacting if she said that he looked like a civil servant, especially with his classic clothes and tired appearance.. His gray linen suit and brown Samsonite bag..
She put her thoughts aside, handling him half of the money in an innocent looking envelope as the deal said, then she watched him as he discovered in shock the personality of the victim.. She put the photo in the last page of the file on purpose..
- Yup.. It's me.. You will find the rest of your money with my dead body.. I'll start carrying the money from tomorrow.. you will have less than a week to do it, otherwise consider this deal canceled.. I'll stop carrying the money after one week exactly.
- Why do you want to kill yourself.. ?
Typical.. She didn't think that things would be that predictable.. Her answer came as cold as ice:
- I don't think I'm obligated to answer, right..?
Irony was that she no longer had the patience she used to have.. Neither had the desire or strength to stand any stupid questions.. She looked at the people sitting around, trying to guess what each one of them was saying.. At least that way she would waste some good time till the man thinks about her offer..
He wouldn't be the first to say no.. Suspicious job indeed it was.. After all, it wasn't that ordinary for anyone to bring a hit man to kill himself..
***
Come on, milord..
It's so simple..
I know you've never seen me before,
But come enter my kingdom..
Edith Piaf.. Milord..
***
-3-
"Moataz"
-cherry coke please..
I wrote down the Brunette's order in my notebook, then walked away smiling like a robot.. I winked at "Mona" - yup.. That blonde waitress coming towards me smiling -
then took out my tongue at her, and watched her innocently as she burst out laughing like she always did when I made this.. Not fake laughs like the ones everyone laughed.. It seemed like her own soul was laughing or something..
I watched her trying to grab herself together and stop before Mr."kamel" notices, as he had warned her before.. She pushed me lightly whispering:
- One day I'm going to kill you..
- You can try honey, but if I were you, I'd disappear quickly before the old elephant notices those weird sounds you’ve made.
(Old elephant) was the nickname we both gave to Mr."kamel".. I mean, look at his big belly and long nose.. What other nickname suited the bastard..?
I watched her innocently laughing one of her explosive laughs again, before sneaking towards the kitchen with the few empty glasses she was carrying, before getting caught, and since I was heading towards the kitchen myself, I hurried to open the metallic door for her.. She walked through the door mumbling:
- Shit.. You won't stop till you get us both fired..!!
I entered behind her whispering:
- Honey.. Don't pretend like your laugh isn't really weird.
Taking out her tongue at me, she completed her way in, while I turned to "Mustafa", the chef, giving him the orders I took.. He wrote them on the plastic board besides him quickly, before returning to the Caramel he was preparing on the stove.. He removed it professionally..
- Lots of work today.. Eh..?
He asked, while handling me a tray with a cup of coffee, continuing:
- .... This is for table 7..
I took the tray from him answering:
- Not more than usual..
- We will go to "Ragab" café today after work right..?
He asked me while whipping some cream for some dessert he was preparing.. It was a local café that we used to go to after work.. Looking blankly at the black floor tiles, I answered:
- Mmmm.. Don't think so man.. I've got few stuff to do..
Actually I was meeting "Mai", my girlfriend.. But you don't go through this stuff with your work mates, right..? But the smart bastard smiled sarcastically, asking:
- New chick, eh..?
- Hahaha.. I wish, but no.. Just bringing some stuff for my wife..
I watched him as he poured some cocktail juice in a glass, before putting a slice of lemon on the glass's lip, then handing it to me on another tray continuing:
- ... To table 2.. And good luck man with your stuff..
I shook my head silently while walking away with the stuff I'm carrying.. I needed all the possible luck indeed..
- The Coke is for table 3.. The Nescafé and the cheesecake are for table 1.. Hurry up a little.. Are you in a funeral or something.. ?
Mr"Kamel’s arrogant voice struck my ears.. He was shouting at two unlucky new waiters that joined us a week ago.. His good luck that I wasn't the one he was talking to right now.. I pushed the metallic door on my way out to feel like I traveled somewhere else.. The mixture of customers voices, together with the cups and glasses dinging, and the sun light sneaking from the windows were a little different from the isolated kitchen I just came out from.. The black floor and the white walls became neat pink walls with many vintage posters or photographs on, rising over a wooden polished floor, that should be shining in the beginning and the ending of each day under Mr.” Kamel’s" supervision..
On passing by the large mirror, I felt a shiver running through my back for no reason.. After delivering all the orders I got, I looked around checking if anyone needed anything, trying to prevent myself from thinking about my lovely wife.. Why would I possibly want to remember her anyway..? For her ravishing beauty or for her sweet as honey tongue..? I remembered how she waked me up today and.. Who am I kidding..? How she always waked me actually..
- Wake up you lazy bastard to go to your dammed work on time for a change.. If you go late again that asshole will cut off from your salary as he does every month..
I'll pretend that my lovely wife was just wishing me a nice day, just to stop myself from strangling her to death, then I'll go get dressed as quickly as possible to run away from her..
That movie yesterday was really good and wasn't a real helping factor on my (waking up early) list.. Who am I kidding..? Even if I went to sleep in a good timing yesterday, that won't be a reason to wake up next day enthusiastic or something.. Why would I be anyway..? To see my gloomy boss..? Or the gloomier customers..? Anyway none of them would be worse than my wife so no need to nag about it..
For a minute I started to feel sorry for the innocent children whose luck made my wife their teacher, then I remembered that my position wasn't exactly any better.. Anyway, if everything went today like it was supposed to, then this should be my last day in this shitty life.. Different day hopefully.. Couldn't help but smiling on the thought of my lovely wife waiting for me like an ass till the end of the day.. Till the end of tomorrow.. Maybe after a week..? Waiting like a fool till she rots in that dammed house.. Waiting for me to come through the door till she is covered by spiders and webs.. The sun goes up and down while the fool is still waiting.. That's the best punishment for that good for nothing cow..
I forced myself not to think more of her while I made my way towards the kitchen to take more orders, when my cellphone rang.. I looked around me just to make sure that the bogyman named "Kamel" wasn't around, before picking up the phone to answer.. It was "Mai", and she was screaming:
- “Moataz".. Where the hells are you..?!!
Why was she screaming like someone is torturing her..? I told her my thoughts, and her blood-freezing answer came:
- Your crazy wife is outside, and she wants to kill me..
My wife was crazy..? I know that already, but a Killer..? That was new..
- How did she know your address..?
Stupid.. Was that really the best timing for getting shocked and ask that stupid question..? Anyway her trembling voice answered:
- How the fuck should I know..? Maybe she followed you someday.. What am I supposed to do now..?
- Where are you exactly..?
I shrieked.. I walked towards the café's door to be able to talk freely, I passed by a woman and her daughter on my way, I stood beside the door and kept my eyes over the kitchen door to see "Kamel" whenever he walks out..
- My bedroom.. That lunatic won't stop knocking on the door that I managed to close from the inside.. But it wouldn’t stand for long..
I noticed then the steady sounds of knocking in the background..
- How did she get in from the first place..?
- She told me u made an accident and went to the hospital, then she pushed me in and told me the truth..
Shit.. She played it well.. A good story that wouldn't give the one in front of her the chance to think clearly..
- What should I do now..?
She was now crying.. Dammit..
I was too far now to reach them in time.. Depending upon my knowledge of my wife's strength, I can assume that she will break through the door before me even being close to them. I should think of something else, but what..?
I waved at "Mona" that I'm coming right away when I saw her waving at me to come in because "Kamel" was looking for me.. Damn him..
- Have you got anything you can use for self-defense till I reach you..?
Silence got over for a couple of seconds, hopefully while she was looking around her for something to use.. For a couple of seconds I only heard her loud breaths and the nerve breaking sound of the steady knocks, then finally came her crying voice:
- Just the electric iron ..
- Good.. Grab it now and be ready any minute she comes through the door, and I will be on my way and.....
I stopped talking on hearing her screams as if coming from hell, there were many loud voices I couldn't recognize.. I shrieked:
What's happening..?
No answer to my shouts that started to drag attention, just those sounds that got loude
r and louder, and then the call just ended.. I walked quickly outside the place, and I bypassed a group of men coming in, while trying to call her number again.....
- The mobile you're trying to reach is switched off.. If you want to send a voice message press......
I ended the call then tried calling again.. Same answer.. I went back inside the café quickly and looked around for "Kamel", to take permission off for an hour or something till I go there and Check things up, but didn't see him anywhere.. Crowdedness and noise, but couldn't see him..
The playing song sneaked through my ear.." Mai’s favorite song.. No word I understood from it though..
I see the city in celebration, delirious
Suffocating under the sun and joy
And I hear in the music, the screams, and the laughs
That burst and rebound around me
And lost between these people that are hustling me
Dazed and helpless, I stay here
La foule.. Edith Piaf..
*****
I walked toward the kitchen, hoping to find him there.. Pushed the metallic door aside, I saw him standing there, among others, looking at the small TV on the wall.. When I looked towards the screen I saw a news report about a building that collapsed a while ago in Madinet Nasr area.. Didn't care much because I had enough to fill my mind, but my eyes fall over some of the buildings and shops surrounding the collapsed building and felt them kind of familiar, so, horrified, I looked at the address that was displayed in the end of the screen, to find it the last address I would want to see..
(Newsflash.. A building collapsed in Mustafa Elnahas Street....)
While the fat TV reporter with a nervous sound continued:
- And meanwhile, the rescue forces are trying to raise the ruins, in order to save any of the victims, but till now, no signs of someone alive.. Stay with us for all the updates.. That was "Miriam Nasser".. Channel 1
And when the news was over and the TV's comedy series returned, I heard the sound of a gunshot outside..!!