Read Billy Whiskers: The Autobiography of a Goat Page 14


  _What Billy Did on Tuesday_

  Tuesday turned out to be a dismal, cold, rainy day and Billy wasglad enough to stay quietly in the tent. He thought it would be agood chance to become better acquainted with the animals in thecages and he decided to call on them all by beginning at one cageand visiting each in order until he had completed the circle.

  He could not stay where he was, for Nancy, the old maid camel,made him nervous; she talked so much, and when she was nottalking she chewed her cud like an old maid chews gum.

  "How can you stand her?" Billy whispered to the elephant.

  "Oh, I have got used to it," said the elephant, "and I don't hearher half the time, and when she gets _too_ bad I just pull theflops of my ears down tight to my head, and I can't hear a word.And then I set my trunk to wobbling and make it nod 'yes' halfthe time and 'no' the other, and I find it answers quite well."

  "But how do you know when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no'?"Billy asked.

  "I don't mind if I do answer wrong part of the time, and if I gettoo much off she stops talking altogether and that pleases mebetter, so you see it answers very well."

  "But don't you get tired leading such an inactive life?" askedBilly.

  "I used to," answered the elephant, "when I was younger, andbefore my mate died. But since she died and I have rheumatism Idon't seem to care much, for without her there would be nothingto do if I did run away; beside your climate is so cold, and yourforests so skinny and bare looking there would not be any funliving in them."

  "Our forests skinny and bare looking, did you say? You don't knowwhat you are talking about. I guess our forests are as nice asyours in India, and not half so full of snakes and chatteringmonkeys, to say nothing of the nasty crocodiles and hippopotamusesthat you have in your rivers; and vines growing all over the treesand from one tree to another, so thickly you can't walk withoutmaking a path for yourself by breaking them down."

  "Oh, but that is just what I like," said the elephant, "and theair is so hot and moist you feel fine, while here you are eitherall dried up with heat or shivering with cold."

  "Well, every one to his taste, I suppose," and he walked over tothe hyenas' cage to make their acquaintance, out of curiosity, ashe knew little about hyenas.

  "My, aren't they homely, sneaky, shifty-eyed looking things!"thought Billy. "I would not like to meet one alone after dark,but still I hear they are cowardly and wait until one is deadbefore they try to eat him up. I don't think I will make a longcall, for they grin and laugh too much, and their laughter has nomirth in it. It is just a loud guffaw." So he only stayed a fewminutes and then went on to a beautiful white llama's cage.

  "Good morning, Miss Llama," said Billy very politely, for hewished to get in the good graces of the beautiful Miss Llama whomhe admired very much for her long, silky, white hair and mild,brown eyes.

  "Good morning, Mr. Whiskers," she replied. "How do you findyourself after our Saturday night's trip?"

  "Very well," said Billy, "but I am afraid you must have had a badshaking up where the bridge was broken, if you had to go downthat steep embankment to cross the creek."

  "You are right; it was steep," said the llama, "and I was nearlyscared to death when I felt the water running into my cage and Ihad just given myself up as lost when it commenced to recede, andI was thrown on my knees by the cage being pulled with a jerk upthe opposite bank. How did you get across?"

  "Oh, easily! I just jumped across from one pier of the bridge tothe other," said Billy. "I met a friend of mine and we went offand had a fine time. How I wish you could get out of that cage,so you could go with us sometime!"

  "You don't wish it more than I do, and it always makes me weep,when we are driven along the sweet smelling roads, to think thatI can't get out and must be shut in here for life."

  "It really is a shame, for you are too pretty to be shut in acage. Are you sure you can't break some of those bars some nightand get out?"

  "I am sure," said the llama, "for I have tried time and again."

  "Well, Billy Whiskers, you are the 'consarnedest' goat I everknew, and how in the 'dickens' you managed to break that chain ismore than I can tell," Billy and Miss Llama heard someone saybehind them and looking round they saw the animal keeper.

  "So, so; you simply pulled up the stake you were tied to when youfound you could not chew your chain in two, did you? Well, comealong with me; you have been idle long enough, and we are goingto teach you some new tricks."

  When Billy heard this his heart sank for he disliked thering-master and was afraid they would make him stand on hishind-legs and walk. Had he only known it, that was the easiestthing he would have to do. He was led to the performing ring andthere stood the hated ring-master facing a line of animalsstanding in a straight line reaching from one side of the ring tothe other. In the middle stood the elephant, with the summerhouse, as Billy called it, on his back; next him stood a camel;next the camel a giraffe; next the giraffe a horse; next thehorse, a zebra, and last a little Shetland pony. On the otherside of the elephant were more animals standing in the sameorder.

  "What in the world can they want of me," thought Billy, but hesoon found out for they dressed him up as a clown in a whitesuit with red spots on it and tied a mask on his face and apointed clown's cap on his head. Then they led him to where thepony stood and made him walk up a step ladder, onto a littleplatform, strapped to the pony's back. From this he was made towalk up another step onto a similar platform on the zebra's back;here he was made to stop and make a bow and so on until he hadreached the little summer house on the elephant's back. This hewas made to enter and sit upright on a little seat that wasinside while the elephant started forward and walked out of thering carrying Billy with him.

  After this he was dressed as a workman, with a pipe in his mouthand a hod of mortar strapped to his shoulder, and made to walkpart way round the ring on his hind legs. Then he was allowed torest and was given a bunch of carrots to eat. While he waseating these Betty was brought in hitched to a little low wheeledcart. Then a great Dane dog was brought in hitched to a similarcart. After that a man pulled in another cart like the other twoand hitched Billy to that. The carts were painted red, white, andblue and trimmed with flags. Soon three little dogs dressed asladies were carried in, put into the carts with the reins overtheir necks. Then the goat, burro, and dog were put neck to neck,ready to start on the race that was to begin when the ring-mastercracked his whip.

  At the signal the dog got started ahead, but half way around thering Billy passed him; the next time around, the dog was againahead, when slow little Betty balked in the middle of the courseand both the goat and dog ran into her upsetting the carts andspilling out the little lady dog drivers. None of them were hurtand the little dogs ran around stepping on their silk petticoatsand getting their hats askew, they enjoying the upset by barkingand making all the noise they could.

  "Well, boys, you want to do it better at the regularperformance," said the ring-master, as the animals were led fromthe ring.