CHAPTER XIX
THE SCARLET HORSE COTERIE
One of the indirect results of Millie's romance was the foregatheringeach Friday night under the hospitable roof of the Scarlet Horse of anumber of congenial and convivial spirits. It was Bindle's practice tospend the two hours during which Millie and Charlie Dixon were at thecinema in drinking a pint of beer at the Scarlet Horse, and exchangingideas with anyone who showed himself conversationally inclined.
In time Bindle's friends and acquaintance got to know of this practice,and it became their custom to drop into "the 'Orse to 'ear ole Joe tellthe tale."
Ginger would come over from Chiswick, Huggles from West Kensington,Wilkes from Hammersmith, and one man regularly made the journey fromTottenham Court Road.
At first they had met in the public bar, but later, through thediplomacy of Bindle, who had explained to the proprietor that "yer getsmore thirsty in a little place than wot yer does in a big 'un, 'causeit's 'otter," they had been granted the use of a small room.
Sometimes the proprietor himself would join the company.
One September evening, having handed over Millie to her cavalier withstrict injunctions to be outside the Cinema at ten sharp, Bindle turnedhis own steps towards the Scarlet Horse. As he entered he was greetedwith that cordiality to which he had become accustomed. Calling for apint of beer, he seated himself beside a rough-looking labourer knownas "Ruddy" Bill, on account of the extreme picturesqueness andsustained directness of his language.
On Bindle's arrival Bill had been delivering himself of an opinion,accompanied by a string of explicatory oaths and obscenities thatobviously embarrassed his hearers, rough though they were. Waiting hisopportunity, Bindle presently remarked quite casually:
"Words such as 'damn' and ''ell,' like beer and tobacco, was sent tosort of 'elp us along, 'specially them wot is married. Where'd I bewi' Mrs. B. if I 'adn't 'ell an' a few other things to fall back on?No!" he continued after a moment's pause, "I don't 'old wi' swearin'."He turned and looked at Ruddy Bill as if seeking confirmation of hisview.
"'Oo the blinkin' 'ell arst wot you 'old wiv?" demanded Billtruculently, and with much adornment of language.
Bindle proceeded deliberately to light his pipe as if he had not heardthe question; then, when it was drawing to his entire satisfaction, heraised his eyes and gazed at Bill over the lighted match.
"No one, ole sport. Yer always gets the good things for nothink, liketwins an' lodgers."
Bill resented the laugh that greeted Bindle's reply, and proceeded topour forth his views on those given to "shovin' in their decoratedsnouts."
When he had exhausted his eloquence Bindle remarked good-humouredly.
"It 'ud take a bucketful of carbolic an' a damn big brush to clean thedirty words out o' your mouth, Sweet William."
Bill growled out further obscenities.
"I ain't religious," continued Bindle, "I don't suppose none of us is.I don't seem to see 'Uggles wi' wings, and Ginger ain't exactly fittedfor sittin' on a cloud a-pullin' 'arp strings; but if yer want to come'ere an' listen to my talk and Wilkes's cough, Sweet William, you gotto clean up that talk o' yours a bit. Ain't that so, mates?"
The rest of the company made it abundantly clear that Bindle hadexpressed its sentiments, and Ruddy Bill subsided into _sotto voce_blasphemies.
During these Friday nights at the Scarlet Horse, many subjects came upfor discussion; marriage, politics, religion were dealt with in turn,but it was impossible to keep the talk away from the War, to which timeafter time it returned with the same persistency that the needle of thecompass flutters back to the north.
"I'd sooner be like 'Earty than a German," Bindle once remarked withdecision. "If they'd only come over 'ere I'd get a smack at 'em, spiteof me various veins."
His forced inaction was to Bindle a tragedy of which he seldom spoke;but when he did it was generally to the point, and more than one manenlisted as a direct result of Bindle's views on the war.
For "the slacker" he had one question. "You got various veins?" hewould enquire; and on hearing that the man had not, he would say, "Thenyer got to join."
To those who suggested that he himself should enlist, he made only onereply, "You get me in the army, ole sport, an' I'll give yer anythink Igot. Gawd strike me dead if I won't." And impressed by Bindle'searnestness, almost without exception, the questioner had the grace tofeel ashamed of himself.
One man had cast some doubt upon the genuineness of Bindle's refusal bythe authorities.
"Come along, then," yelled Bindle in a passion; "come along an' see."And seizing the astonished man by the arm he marched him round to thenearest recruiting station, followed by those who had heard thechallenge. Before the sceptic had recovered his self-possession hefound himself a soldier and Bindle once more convicted of "variousveins."
"Well, Ginger," remarked Bindle pleasantly, after the pause thatfollowed Ruddy Bill's discomfiture, "wot 'ave yer been doin' that yercan talk about without 'urtin' Sweet William's ears. Any noos?"
"I been an' joined," grumbled Ginger, as if he had committed one of theSeven Deadly Sins.
"Ginger," said Bindle approvingly, "the next pint yer 'as yer drinkswi' me, see?" After a pause Bindle continued, "Now yer got to killthree Germans, Ginger, as a sort of apology for 'avin' three babies.That'll square things."
"I don't want to kill Germans," growled Ginger.
"Then why did yer do it?" asked Wilkes.
"It's all through that rosy song. Blimey! I get fair sick of it."
Bindle laughed joyously.
"I thought you was goin' to 'ammer the next cove as said it, Ging. Whydidn't yer?" he remarked.
"I couldn't 'ammer the 'ole yard, could I? They used to sing it everytime I come in, so I 'listed."
There was a general laugh at this.
"Well, Ginger, you been an' done the right thing. 'Uggles may laugh,Wilkes may show that 'e ain't got no teeth, and Bill may pump up dirtywords, but you done right. I wish," he added reflectively, "I 'adn'tvarious veins. I'd look tasty in khaki a-tryin' to keep 'Uggles fromrunnin' away. 'Ow about you, Weary?" The last remark was addressed toa heavy-looking man who seemed half-asleep.
"I'm goin' to wait an' see," the man replied, with a strange movementof his lips, which his intimates were able to recognise as a smile.
"You're one of them bloomin' wait-an'-see radicals. One o' these daysthey'll see things wot they won't wait for."
"If yer wait an' see," remarked Wilkes, "yer don't get married, an'that saves a lot of trouble." He trailed off into a cough. Wilkes wasalways coughing.
"Yes," said Bindle reflectively; "it also saves yer explainin' 'ow it'appened. I'm glad you woke up, Wilkie.
"Marriage is a funny thing," continued Bindle, meditatively filling hispipe. "I seen it quite change men, sometimes for better, sometimes forworse, sometimes neither one thing nor the other. There was a mate o'mine wot got married and it ruined 'im.
"'E was a rare sport; used to back 'orses and wink at women and getdrunk; yes, 'e used to do everythink wot a decent man ought to do.Then he took up with a gal an' married 'er, an' she started a-dressin''im up so that all 'is mates used to laugh when they met 'im.
"Last time I saw 'im 'e was wearing a white weskit, a black coat, and apale-blue tie and top 'at. 'E saw me comin' and tried to look theother way, but I crossed over, and takin' off me cap bowed to 'em both,and 'e raised 'is 'at, and then I watched 'im after 'e'd passed, and 'ecouldn't get it on right again. 'E fidgeted about with the bloomin'thing until 'e was out o' sight. No, yer 'as to be born to a top 'at,just as yer 'ave to be born to an 'ump, like a camel."
"Women ain't wot they was." The remark came from a small man with greyside-whiskers who, as soon as he had spoken and attracted to himselfthe attention of the company, fidgeted as if he regretted his temerity.
"Wot jer know about the ornamental Jezebels?" Ruddy Bill struck in.
"'Ullo! you woke up too, Sweet William?" grinned Bin
dle. "You'reright, Tom Cave," he continued, turning to the man who had spoken."They ain't, an' it's all through the fashions."
"'Ow's that? Fashions don't make women, it's them as makes thefashions," ventured Huggles.
"Fashions is funny things, 'Uggles. When I was a boy women was a bitshy about their ankles, an' now they sort o' takes a pride in 'em. Igiven up goin' in toobes," Bindle added with a grin. "I get 'ot allover. Them short skirts, oh! naughty! naughty!" And he put hisfingers before his eyes.
"It's women everywhere now. They're on buses, drivin' vans, shovin'barrers--yer can't get away from 'em," said Wilkes resentfully.
"That's all right for you, Wilkie, saves yer lookin' for trouble, oleson," said Bindle. "'Ope they 'aven't been chasin' yer too much,Charlie; you ain't no sprinter."
"Wot's the war about, that's wot I want to know? Why are we fightin'the Germans?" Ginger broke in irrelevantly, looking round himaggressively as if for someone to attack.
No one seemed desirous of answering Ginger's question. All lookedinstinctively towards Bindle, who, to gain time, began filling his pipewith great care and deliberation.
"You got war on the brain, Ginger," remarked Ruddy Bill.
"Wot's the war about, Joe?" asked Wilkes.
"About the silliest thing I ever 'eard of," said Bindle. "Everybodysays they wanted peace, on'y they was attacked. As far as I can see,Germany wanted wot she calls a place in the sun; she was sort o'gettin' chilly in the shade, so she says to the Alleys, 'Sun or blazes,the choice is wi' you, mates,' an' the Alleys says, 'Blazes it is, olesport,' an' starts a-firin' back, an' that's 'ow it all come about."
"Why don't they arbitrate?" enquired the little man with the greywhiskers.
Bindle looked at him pitifully. "Cave, yer surprise me. If 'Uggles'ere wanted your trousers and started a-pullin' away at the legs, wouldyer say, 'We'll arbitrate'? No, yer'd fetch 'im one on the jaw."
"Wot's arbitration?" demanded Ruddy Bill.
"Arbitration, Sweet William, is somethin' you're always advisin' otherpeople to do, but never does yerself. Now, if you an' Ginger bothwanted to stand me my next pint, an' was goin' to fight about it,someone might say 'arbitrate'--that is to say, let another cove decidewot 'adn't no interest in the matter, an' p'r'aps he'd get the beer."
"Then why don't they arbitrate instead of blowin' each other to bits?"demanded a whiskered man known as Ted.
"Because war comes about by someone wantin' wot ain't 'is," repliedBindle oracularly. "Wot 'ud you say if I said I wanted yer watch?"
"I'd see yer to blinkin' nowhere, fust," was the reply.
"Well, that's jest wot the gents say wot we votes for, on'y they saysit prettier than wot you can, ole son." Bindle grinned contentedly athis exposition of international ethics.
"We're fightin' just because Germany went for Belgium," remarked aheavy-bearded man who had not previously spoken. "It ain't our scrap,an' we been let in for it by a lot o' stutterin' toffs wot usworkin'-men sends to Parliament. It makes me fair sick, an' beer goin'up like 'ell."
There was a murmur that showed the man had voiced the general opinionof the room.
"Wot jer got to say to that, Joe?" demanded Ruddy Bill aggressively.
"I got a good deal to say to it, Sweet William," remarked Bindle,removing his pipe from his mouth and speaking with great deliberation."I got quite a lot to say. Supposin' I see a couple of big chapsa-'ammerin' your missis an' kickin' yer kids about, an' I says, 'Itain't nothink to do wi' me,' an' takes no notice. Would any of yerever want to speak to me again?"
Bindle looked round him enquiringly, but there was no reply.
"Well, that's wot Germany's done to Belgium an' the other place, an'that's why we chipped in. Look 'ere, mates, if any of yer thinks yercan live thinkin' only o' yerselves, yer mistaken. We got a fine olecountry and a good king, an' we can tell a archbishop to go to 'ell ifwe want to wi'out gettin' pinched for it; an' when yer got all themthings--an' there ain't no other country wot 'as--then it's worth'avin' a scrap now an' then to keep 'em."
"But we should 'ave 'ad 'em all the same; Germany didn't want to fightus," protested the whiskered man.
"Ain't you a silly ole 'uggins! an' you wi' all that 'air on yer faceought to be a man. The Germans 'ud 'ave come for us next, when they'dbeaten the others. Besides, yer don't always fight for beer an' baccy;sometimes yer does it because somethink's bein' 'urt wot can't 'itback. Got it, Whiskers?"
The man addressed as Whiskers subsided, finding that opinion had veeredround to Bindle's point of view.
"An' when's it goin' to end?" enquired Huggles in an aggrieved tone.
"It'll end, my lovely 'Uggles, jest as soon as a fight 'tween you an'me 'ud end--when one of us 'ad 'ad enough."
"That's goin' to be the Germans," almost shouted Ginger.
"Well, up to this evenin' I wasn't sure, Ginger, but now I 'ear you'rea-goin', o' course I'm puttin' me money on the ole lion."
"I don't 'old wi' war," grumbled Ginger. "S' 'elp me if I do."
"Well, mates," Bindle remarked, as he rose to go, the hands of theclock on the mantelpiece pointing to ten minutes to ten, "I'm due atthe War Office, an' they don't like to be kep' waitin'. Lord! 'ow theKayser must 'ate me! So long." And he set out to meet and escortMillie home.