shouted. “Garlic!”
He held it out proudly, like the scalp of an enemy. Natalie and Mitsky both went slack-jawed. “Where the devil did you get that?!” Mitsky demanded.
“I have my ways,” he said, slyly.
Mitsky was full of suspicion. “What ways?”
For just a second, Wooster narrowed his eyes and looked threatening. It was enough to make Mitsky go pale, and she did. Wooster had never, to Natalie’s knowledge, at least, given anyone a scary look. “Ways,” he said, slowly.
For a moment, all three of them considered how well they really knew each other, and two wondered if a body was going to be found in the cafeteria. Then they forgot about the exchange entirely and got back to the garlic.
“Anyway,” Wooster said, smiling, “if Natalie takes a bite and spits it out, she’s a vampire. Simple.”
“I’m not biting raw garlic!”
Wooster pointed an accusatory finger. “Aha! Vampire!”
“Shut up, Wooster. Give me that.” Mitsky took the garlic and put it in the center of Natalie’s desk. Wooster sat down, and they all stared at it for a long while. The clock on the wall ticked away, unabashed, and the sound of Violet’s snoring seemed to get louder and louder.
“Do I have to do this?” Natalie complained, picking up the bulb and eyeing it disgustedly.
Wooster shrugged. “Wanna know if you’re a vampire?”
“It shouldn’t be hard,” Mitsky pointed out. “I thought you were in tune with nature, and all that blah. You should be on intimate terms with things like garlic and peppers and…and trees.”
Natalie gave her a dirty look. “Don’t go making fun of me! When I talk to trees they talk back! Why don’t you just go heal some bruises or something? Stupid light witch…”
“Ouch,” said Mitsky, and didn’t mean it. Healing bruises was useful.
Natalie frowned and turned the garlic this way and that several times. Finally, she found her courage and opened her mouth wide, sinking her teeth deep into the offending vegetable. The flavor was overpowering, but nothing she couldn’t handle. She tore at it, ripped off a small chunk, chewed and swallowed.
It was a terrible flavor. When she was done, she swiped Mitsky’s apple juice from her desk and sucked on the straw rigorously.
“There! I’m not a vampire.” She said it defiantly, and with much relief.
“I suppose not.” Wooster said. “Then again…”
Mitsky pried her juice from Natalie’s protesting fingers with a sour expression. “Give me that.” She snapped.
Natalie turned to Wooster, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “What do you mean ‘then again’? I ate garlic. I can’t be a vampire.”
Wooster scratched his chin and leaned back in his chair thoughtfully. It was a nice try, but he didn’t come off as a deep thinker. “Well, I read once that some vampires aren’t affected by garlic. Maybe you’re that kind.”
Natalie booted him in the shin, nearly toppling him backward. He was a battleship, but she was bigger than Mitsky and worked with plants, so she had boots on. “Then why’d you have me eat garlic! I hate garlic!”
“Calm down, Natalie! Calm down!” Mitsky covered her face with her hands, dragging her palms downward. This was a position of deep contemplation for her, much more befitting of an idiot. She slapped her hands on her desk clumsily. “Okay, so how else can we tell? What about sunlight? Vampires hate sunlight.” She said it very enthusiastically, like she’d discovered the photon. As one, they looked out the window. It was a bright, sunny day. That was convenient, because otherwise this story would come to a screeching halt.
Mitsky’s eyes went wide suddenly, and she pointed, whispering. “Look! Look! Violet’s asleep next to the window! Vampires sleep during the day, too!”
“Maybe she’s just tired?” Wooster volunteered.
“No, she’s probably weak in the sun.” She said it like she had evidence in a brown envelope somewhere. “Come on! Let’s get Natalie on the playground before lunch is over.”
Mitsky and Wooster leapt up, each taking one of Natalie’s arms. Mitsky was almost a head shorter than her, but Wooster’s strength and size made up for her shortcomings. Natalie didn’t stand a chance. Still, she protested with vigor. “Hey! What are you doing? Put me down! I’m not going outside!”
“Wooster?” Mitsky said, “If you would.”
Wooster slapped a hand over Natalie’s mouth. He closed his eyes and muttered something Natalie couldn’t quite make out, then she felt a prickling sensation course through her body. Wooster took his hand away, and she started shouting again, but she might as well have hummed a ditty, because her mouth wouldn’t open. Defeated, she was dragged to a big, blue door that led to the playground. Wooster kicked the bar that opened the latch, and the door flew open.
“Won’t too much sunlight kill a vampire?” Wooster asked.
“Not sure,” Mitsky answered.
They walked in silence across the blacktop toward the playground.
Emerging from some inner contemplation Mitsky added, “Anyway, it’s our civic duty to kill vampires.”
Suddenly Natalie flailed like a wild animal, trying to break free. They pinned her down on the grass and pulled up the sleeves of her purple robe, then hitched her long skirt over her knees, exposing as much of her body to the sunlight as was decent. Eventually, she gave in and relaxed a bit. Mitsky held her head so Natalie’s face was in the sun and she had to close her eyes.
A minute passed, then two.
“Shouldn’t her skin start to burn?”
“Arms are fine. Legs are fine. Face is fine. Maybe it takes longer,” Wooster suggested, scratching his head.
“Yeah, but then it’s just called sunburn.”
They waited another minute.
“She’s not screaming either. Oh, hang on!”
Wooster released Natalie from his spell. She took a deep breath of the summer air and exhaled.
“This,” she started. Wooster and Mitsky hovered over her expectantly. She lifted her head up and looked at them.
“This feels really nice.”
They frowned at her.
“You’re not tired at all?” Wooster asked.
“No. Not really.”
“I guess she’s not a vampire,” Mitsky told him.
“Yeah, I guess.” he agreed, reluctantly.
“Why are you two frowning?” Natalie asked angrily. “And, like I would have told you, Violet is outside all the time.”
“She’s right.” Wooster sagged. “Well, is there any other way to be sure?”
They all sat up. Natalie wiped the grass from her dress. Earlier she had felt doomed, but now this was starting to seem silly. Wouldn’t there be some telltale sign if she were a vampire? Her teeth hadn’t grown into fangs or anything like that, and the only craving she had at the moment was for chocolate chip cookies. Not a very vampire food, in her opinion.
“What about a stake? Won’t a stake through the heart kill a vampire?”
Natalie straightened and gave Mitsky, her best friend up until a sentence ago, a look of singular disbelief. Before she could even speak, Wooster came to her rescue.
“A stake would kill anyone, dolt! Use your head.”
“Okay, okay…but is the heart, like, a weak point or something?”
Wooster shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never actually met a vampire.”
Natalie, still a bit shocked at the casual way her demise was being discussed, noticed that they were staring at her again. Maybe she should have confided in someone else. Then again, they were trying really hard. She never would have thought to eat garlic—mostly because she hated garlic, but there you have it. It was reassuring to have such concerned friends.
Then the air took off from her lungs like a million jet-powered marathon runners at the starting line. She fell backward and rolled up onto her neck. Both her legs swung up and came back dow
n hard. She lay there gasping for a while before her breath came back.
Clutching her chest, she launched herself upright, accosting the sweet little light witch vehemently. “You punched me! Are you crazy?”
“Did it hurt?” Mitsky asked, holding her hands in front of her defensively and trying to sound as cute as possible. “I thought maybe the heart was a weak point.”
“You…” Natalie clenched her fists tightly, surfing the vowels along a vengeful wave.
Wooster got between them. “Whoa now…Geez, no need to get violent, Natalie. Come on. Let’s go inside. Lunch is almost over.”
Natalie wanted to hit him as well.
They returned to the classroom, Natalie rubbing her ribs angrily and Mitsky radiating innocence. Wooster was still considering the situation.
“I can’t really think of anything else,” he finally conceded. “Unless you start thinking about blood all the time, I guess you shouldn’t worry.”
“Blood? Ew…I don’t think so. Hey, I guess I can’t be a vampire if I don’t like blood, right?”
“But what if you don’t start craving it right away?” Mitsky asked. “Maybe there’s some sort of catalyst for that kind of thing.” She brightened, feeling good about using a big word like “catalyst”.
“Or maybe she didn’t turn you into a vampire. Maybe she was just hungry. I don’t think you have to become a vampire if you’re bit. I guess the only real way to tell is if you like the taste of blood.”
“Yes. I guess that is the only way, when you think about it.” Natalie settled back and considered this.
“Well if you do end up being a vampire, you can still sit with us. Hey, maybe we can