Chapter 16 | Redo
Today was Kathy’s funeral. I could not believe how time had gone by. I stared at myself for twenty minutes in the mirror—not to see if I looked fine but of how ugly my soul had become.
“…She was a strange woman. We didn’t bond much at times but she is everything I’ve become…” I spoke at the funeral. “…Simon is her grandson. He will never meet his grandma. He will only have stories and photos, but I insist she will watch him grow, laugh, and cry. I regret not seeing my mother and not bonding with her as much as I should have. And I regret not being with her. She will truly be missed.”
After the funeral, I was no better. I could not hold my emotions together. When people laughed about the good and bad times with her, I could not help but feel guilty because all I had were dreadful times with her.
I walked around the room looking for a place to sit. I spotted Frank sitting alone at a table—I did not join him—he had an aura of misery that I would rather not be around. Instead, I went outside to get some fresh air.
I closed my eyes and let the wind astound me. I thought about calling Ana, but she probably would not pick up. I had got in a fight with her because I kept ignoring her calls. Then, I thought about calling Jason—I laughed—that was beyond desperate.
“Hey, Lily!” Paul approached me.
I thought about snapping at him and walking away, but I made my body stay calm. I did not have friends, so I had to hold on to anyone I could get. “Hey, Paul.” I wiped my tears from my cheeks.
He sat down next to me on the steps. “You look skinnier since I’ve last seen you,” he joked.
We sat there in silence staring across the street, probably thinking about the same thing. Well, I was thinking about Kathy; I assumed he was too. As I looked over at him, Paul stood up and stretched his arms breaking the awkward tension.
“Where are you going?” I said.
“I guess home. It is late. I don’t like driving in the dark,” he said. “Plus, the weather is looking very strange.”
“Oh,” I said as I looked at the clouds and they were gray. “Yeah, I should go home to Simon. He is probably grouchy.”
“Yeah, how is your baby?”
“Um, he’s good.”
“Well, bye,” he whispered and walked toward his car.
“We should talk sometime…or hang out,” I said as he opened his car door.
“Um, yeah…that sounds good,” he said.
I did not bother going back into the building to say goodbye to everyone. I just gathered my last thoughts of Kathy and drove back home.
As I was driving home, my cell phone rang—it was Jason calling me.
“Hello?” I answered immediately. “Jason?”
“Lily?” Jason said.
“This is illegal for me to drive and talk…I’ll call you back—”
“Where are you?” he said over a noisy background—I could barely hear him. “Why is Simon all alone?”
“What?” I could hear Simon crying in the background mixed with the other noises. “What are you doing in my house, Jason?”
“My house! My baby and you are my wife!”
“What—”
Jason hung up the phone and I stared at the red light in shock. I thought about making an illegal run through the red light, but I did not. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited for the light to turn green. As soon as it did, I sped down the street, not caring about anyone but Jason.
When I got to my street, I spotted Jason standing outside on the lawn, holding Simon. My eyes searched the area as I saw a little girl about five years old standing next to him.
“Jason?” I said.
“Lily, where were you?” he said as he walked over to me. He looked heavier than the last time I had seen him and he had a full beard and long hair to his shoulders—he looked like a hippie.
“Who is that?” I said, pointing at the little girl.
“She’s my niece,” he said as if I would know. “I told you about her before.”
“What are you doing back home?”
“I live here,” he laughed.
“Not anymore. You left us, remember?”
“I never left you, Lily. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m good,” I said. “I just got home from a funeral.”
“Who died?”
“My mother.”
Jason gasped and walked over to hug me. “I’m so sorry.”
“Get away from me!”
I pushed Jason away from me and grabbed Simon from his arms. As anger built up inside me, I went inside the house. I could hear Jason behind me, following my every move. I sat on the couch and Jason pulled his suitcase into the living room with his eyes on me.
“Why did you come back?” I snapped. “We didn’t need you here.”
“Then, why were you calling me every day?” he laughed. “Of course you need me; I’m the man of this house.”
“Ha!” I laughed. “You’re nothing. You’re not a man.”
“I didn’t come back to argue with you. You should be happy—we’re a family again.”
“So, what were you doing in China?”
Jason smiled wickedly and ignored me by going upstairs. I listened as I heard him turn the shower on. I didn’t know what to do next, so I sat there, staring into space.
I did not know what Jason’s intentions were, but I had a feeling he knew exactly what he was going to do next. He claimed the little girl was his niece, Savanna, which he had custody of for the next six months. However, his story did not add up since he was supposed to be in China the past few months. Also, he could not explain which sibling she belonged to. For all I knew, she could have been a kidnapped child. But, he had all the legal documents to prove he was her primary caregiver for the last two months.
He was too sketchy. I had to get rid of him—now.
Later that night, tension built between us, as we were both on edge. He would not give me complete responses and my lies annoyed him—we were at our breaking point.
“Can you please tell me the truth?” I snapped.
“Who is she?”
“My niece!”
“Tell me who she belongs to?”
“Okay, she's Jerry's lovechild. Her mother died 3 months ago and he got sent back to jail for some type of fraud.”
“Surprise, surprise.”
“He asked me to care for her until he gets out.”
“And by you, he meant for me to take care of her.”
Jason sighed. “We didn't want her going to a foster home. Do you know what happens to foster kids?”
“Since when do you care about the well being of others?”
“I know you have a heart somewhere in you. And plus don't you miss me?”
“I hope you coming home means we can finally get this divorce over with,” I said as I chopped up my steak.
“Don’t start, Lily. Not in front of the kids,” he laughed. “Can we just eat dinner like a normal family?”
“We are no normal family.”
“You want me to say you made this last year torture for me don’t you? Okay, well you did. I hope you are happy,” he said. “And I know you haven’t been taking your medication like you claim.”
“I have too,” I lied.
“Don’t lie to me, Lily. I know everything. I was in the bathroom and there is about four-months worth of unused medication.”
“And?”
“And why aren’t you taking them? Are you insane? Do you want me to tell Dr. Summings?”
“Tell him all you want. But, I have been taking them. Those are extra.”
“But, Lily—”
I laughed. “You should be happy I gave you a life.”
“I could have been so much more without you,” he said.
“Really? Like what, another assistant? I made you. No one would know your name if it weren’t for me.”
“Okay, you made me a little famous. Now, I know the price of fame.”
“And what is that to you?”
“It’s not worth it.”
“My stubbornness is just the beginning of your torture,” I snapped. “All the crap you’ve done to me. I haven’t forgotten.”
“Lily, I haven’t done anything to you. I really haven’t, so I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”
“Sure you don’t. I am not afraid of you anymore. Remember I’m crazy.”
“Really? I thought you weren’t crazy? What are you going to do, run to another cop? No one will believe you—just like they didn’t before.”
“No I’m not going to run to a little cop like a baby,” I smiled. “I’m going to handle you myself.”
“Ha, what are you going to do?”
“Get rid of you.”
“You’re not funny.”
“Who said I was being funny? I am serious. I know what you are planning. You tried to make me forget what happened. And you’re right, I haven’t been taking my medication. What use is it anyway? It just sedates me so I can’t realize what your plans are.”
“You need help.”
Boiling point—like acid rain.