Read Black Lily Petals Page 44


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  A few days later, Jason came home in a wheelchair. He was acting as if he were the victim. His attitude had changed and it frustrated me. I cannot explain how he changed, but it was the way he spoke to me.

  “Get me some food, woman,” Jason said.

  “Don’t talk to me that way,” I snapped as I got up from the sofa and stood over him. I did not want to do anything foolish in front of the kids so I changed my thought of snatching him up. Lily, you should have snapped his neck. Why didn’t you do it? You’re such a baby!

  “I’m not a baby!” I snapped at my thoughts.

  “Who are you talking to?” Jason said.

  I stood in front of him, “You didn’t hear it?”

  “I don’t care. You’re blocking my view! I can’t see the TV with that big butt of yours!” Jason pushed me aside.

  That was the last time he would push my buttons. I had visions of smacking him right then and there but I had a better idea…

  I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a clear glass gravy bowl. I poured some steaming hot soup into it and put it into the microwave to make it hotter. When it finished warming up, I had to use cooking mitts because it was too hot to touch.

  “Hurry up!” he shouted from the couch.

  My heart began to rush. I loved that feeling of excitement. This time the rush was unbearable. My eyes began to water and my tongue began to dry. I tried to hold myself together. I began to get warm, and wet, and sweat was making my makeup melt. My palms began to sweat as well. I rubbed them on my white spring dress and began to stir the soup. Lily, just do it already! End everything!

  “Is it done, yet?” he asked while not taking his eyes off the TV.

  “Almost.” I called back as I grabbed the hot soup with the cooking mitts. “Just one second.” I walked with the soup to the living room but I stopped and put the bowl back down.

  “Um, Savanna, Simon? Can you come here? Help me with his food.”

  Savanna pushed Simon in his stroller to the kitchen. I did not want them near to what was about to happen. “Okay, sit here and stir the dough.” I handed them two wooden spoons. “No first go to the garage and find the plastic spoons. And take Simon with you.”

  Savanna took Simon and went to the garage and they were soon out of sight. Jason scratched the back of his head, in anger. He turned his head around halfway toward me. I gave him a nervous smile. “I’ll bring it now.”

  He turned around to the television and got lost in the show. I picked the soup back up and continued to walk toward Jason. As I got closer, my heart began to beat so hard I could hear it. Just do it, Lily. Do it now! I paused and watched him, as he did not notice that I was standing behind him. I put the bowl over his head. I thought about pouring the steaming hot soup over his head, but that would be very immature…

  Instead, I slammed the glass bowel with the soup over his head as hard as I possibly could. The bowl scattered into tiny glass pieces around the couch. And the steaming hot soup dripped over his head. His head limped over, leaving him unconscious.

  You did it, Lily. Good job. I shook my head trying to get the voices in my head to calm down.

  Pieces of glass stuck out his head like a Halloween costume. Lily, you probably broke his skull. I smiled, picking up the glasses off the floor. Should I call 911? No Lily, that would be no fun. Don’t call 911.

  Savanna came running into the house. I jumped up from the floor, blocking Jason from her view.

  “I can’t find it,” she whined. “I looked everywhere!”

  “Go look for it,” I snapped.

  She went running back down to the basement. I pushed his wheelchair into the downstairs bedroom and I wrapped a towel around his bloody head. He flinched a bit but was unconscious. With all my strength, I put him in the bed and turned off the lights. Nervous, I peeked out the door to see if the kids had come back. I closed the door, went back to the glassy scene, and cleaned it up. I hurried to grab the mini vacuum and vacuumed up the remaining glass. My heart thumped at its wildest…it felt good—Lilly, did something well.

  “There were no spoons,” Savanna said.

  “Okay it doesn’t matter. Uncle Jason went to sleep,” I lied.

  “Can we watch a movie, then?”

  “Yes, we can watch a movie.”

  The kids and I sat on the couch and watched an old VHS. I loved watching their happy faces light up when Jason was not around. Everything seemed perfect when he wasn’t around. He never saw that side of them. I’m sure they hated him too.

  “Um, I’m going to check on Jason. I’ll be back,” I said as I lifted Simon off my lap and got up.

  I expected to see Jason up and joking that he felt like a monster truck hit him. However, he wasn’t up and he wasn’t joking. The rag I put on his head was now dripping blood onto the pillow.

  “Oh my…” I panicked and ran to his bedside. I was helpless on what to do. “Look what I did,” I whispered to myself as I turned the light on. I held my breath as I removed the towel and his entire head was enormous—like something from a sci-fi movie—about the size of a medium watermelon. He had white and red pus oozing from his roots. My stomach bubbled and goosebumps aroused from my arms at the sight. I cannot call 911. They will arrest me! I began to pace around the room. I ran to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, trying to pull myself together. I looked at my hands and Jason’s blood dripped into the sink. What can I do? Dammit, Lily you’re so stupid!

  I looked around the bathroom and I had another plan…

  I took a deep breath and slammed my head as hard as I could into the bathroom mirror. I blinked continuously as I saw tons of black material mixed with glass fall into the sink. I thought it was stuff from the mirror so I ignored it and slammed my head again and the same stuff fell into the sink. My eyes narrowed as I touched the black stuff. I could barely see, so I gathered the material and held it close to my eyes. It looked like ripped flowers. I flushed my eyes with water and sat on the toilet as I stared at the material in my palms. “What is this?” I cried. I rubbed my forehead hard and more and more fell onto my lap. I began to scream and ran throughout the home, as they would not stop accumulating.