I was running down the hotel hallway and I did not know why. The last thing I remembered doing was falling asleep and having a nightmare about lilies again. “Huff!”
I could see a man across the hallway—he looked like a blob as his arms reached out for me.
“Lily, it’s me!” Jason shouted.
“Jason?” I cried.
I could not cooperate; I felt so distant from myself. I wasn’t in control; it felt like someone was controlling me like a puppet or how I imagined a robot would feel like. I just kept running toward him. I was afraid that if I would stop running, I would collapse into shock.
“What is wrong with me?” I ran into his arms and stared into his big hazel eyes.
“What are you doing?” Jason said as he bit into an apple.
“I can’t breathe, Jason.”
“Um…” He pulled me into the hotel room, before people could come out to stare at the scene.
“Huff,” I barked and began to cry.
Jason walked me to sit on the bed and wrapped me in a blanket. He stared down upon me as he chewed his apple as if it was the best damn apple in the world. I couldn’t read his expression or his intentions. However, he seemed amused, almost pleased that I was losing all control.
I did not know what was wrong with me—I felt uncontrollable. My palms and scalp were all sweaty. I felt like my heart was in my stomach, that my hands were on my feet, and my teeth felt like they were going to fall out.
“Woof!” I barked again like a dog. “What is wrong with me?” I asked as I looked over at Jason, who was on the bed chuckling.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“Ooh nothing.” He walked to the mini refrigerator. “Babe, you are freaking out. I think the media is getting to your head. I told Paul it’s not good to make you go through all this after all that has happened! Or it could be that you stopped taking your XANAX pills cold turkey after four years.” He walked over to me still laughing and wiped my tears with his sleeve.
“How do you know that?” I snapped.
“I didn't know it was a secret!”
“Who told you?”
“Paul told me!”
“Well, this has nothing to do with that. That was like 4 or 5 months ago when I stopped.”
“Your body is probably still reacting to the stuff.”
“Oh, now you're a doctor,” I mocked.
“Here drink this before you pass out.”
“Um, what is this?” I asked because the juice was bubbling.
He shoved the juice in my face. “Orange juice…”
“Why does it look like that?”
“I shook it up! Just get some rest Lily, before you go all crazy on me. That’s the last thing I want!”
“Hmm…crazy, eh?” my eyes narrowed in distrust.
“Yup, crazy,” he smiled. “Just drink, Lily. Do not be difficult.”