That’s why I chose Clear Valley while researching where to go. I knew it was a tourist trap and many people came and went on a daily basis. None, looking for a suspicious mother and child. It took nineteen days for me to figure that out. Nineteen days to let my guard down and do something stupid over the putrid scent of a man.
Quinn saved the day when he walked right into the argument about the sharp knife that Pea wasn’t getting. “Did you catch anything?” he called with Sadie right by his side.
“I caught all these. All by myself and my mom won’t let me cut them up,” Pea explained with a frustrated tone. Ahhh, she said her mom. I would have given her five sharp knives after that. It was so natural. So right. That was the very moment that I knew I had done the right thing. Pea Bradford was right where she belonged. With me. Whether Pea ever called me mom or not was irrelevant. I knew without a doubt that she looked up to me that way, just the way I had my mom.
“How about I lend you a hand?” Quinn offered. Great. I needed him to go away. Go back home to his own forest and leave ours alone. Quinton was one of those guys that you couldn’t help but be nice to. Like Larry the elevator escort back at the resort. He was the nicest man on earth, always happy and always wearing a smile. Quinn was like Larry. He was just a heck of a nice guy.
I did my best to stay away from him while he sat on my picnic table and cleaned fish with my child. He was so good with her. Pea sat on his lap and he guided her hand, showing her how to cut perfect fillets with his razor sharp knife.
Well…
At least we won’t starve to death. I sighed and smiled at Pea. Her tongue hung out the side of her mouth while she concentrated hard on the fish in front of her.
“I was going to go into Boise and have Applebee’s for supper. Who’s in?” Quinton asked washing his hands with the water hose.
“Meeeeeeeee!” Pea sang one long word.
“We already have supper plans,” I reminded her, glaring at her to shut up.
“Please! I want to have ice cream.”
“We have ice cream.”
“Not like that. Please, Mom. Please.”
Oh, sure. Throw the mom in there. The string around my finger cut off the circulation while I caved, giving into the cutest kid in the universe. “Penelope…” I pleaded with my eyes.
“Please,” she whined again.
“There, it’s settled. I’m going to get cleaned up. I’ll pick you ladies up at six. And little lady, I know the best ice cream shop in the entire world. You get to make it yourself and they have gummy bears, hot brownies, chocolate syrup, M&M’s.”
“Sprinkles?”
“Yes, lots of sprinkles,” Quinn stood from his stooped position and touched my elbow, “I’ll see you at six.”
Reluctantly, I agreed. Nineteen days wasn’t long enough to be this stupid. After a nice long lecture that would do zero good for Pea’s big mouth, we showered for our date.
My naturally highlighted hair hung half way down my back with wide curls dangling from the ends. My makeup, red lips, and silver hooped earrings surpassed hot. I turned, liking my ass in my jeans with heels and smiled.
“Are you going to kiss Quinn?” Pea smirked from the door.
“No. I’m not going to kiss Quinn. Come here. Let me brush your hair.”
“Well, you look pretty.”
I kissed her cheek from behind, “Thank you. So do you.”
My suspicions went up again when Quinn picked us up right when he said he would. He drove a black truck with Hertz plates. Why was he in a rental car? I set him up after he closed the door and walked around to get in.
“You think he drove this truck from his house, Pea?” I asked, setting the hook.
“Did you drive this truck from your house?” Pea asked from the back seat.
Quinn nibbled on the hook, but he didn’t bite. He hesitated with a frown for a second, “No my truck broke down on the way here. I had to get a rental car. I’ll pick mine up on my way home. Why do you ask?” Quinn wondered.
“Well, just in case you had a truck that could fly and we could go to the moon.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, but whatever it was slowed the thumping in my chest. I argued with myself to calm down. Nobody was looking for us. Quinn’s story could very well be true. I was being ridiculous. We were almost twenty five hundred miles away from New York. We were fine.
Goofing off while we waited in line to be seated, I shushed Quinn and Penelope for being so loud. Pea stood on his shoes and he walked while she lost her balance over and over. I shook my head and looked up when the line moved a little. That’s when I saw her. Farrah Brighton was in front of a camera, holding a white handkerchief and a picture with Missing and the name, London Jane Coast. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I could tell she was pleading for Pea to be returned.
The large television screen went to a picture of Pea and then me. I panicked without thinking. I picked her up and walked out of the restaurant. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. How could I be so stupid? I turned to see Quinn hot on my heels. Did he see it too? Did he know what was going on? Shit. Shit. Shit. What did I do?
“I want to eat here,” Pea whined.
“Shhh, Pea, we have to get out of here,” I whispered where only she could hear.
“Jenna?” Quinn called, catching up.
“Just take us home, Quinn.”
“No, I’m hungry,” Pea whined again.
“We’ll get a pizza on the way.”
“What’s going on?” Quinn questioned. He looked like he knew something, but then he didn’t. I don’t know. I guess I was paranoid, but I had every right to be. Our pictures were just flashed right in front of his eyes. Right in front of a whole crowd of people. Jesus. What was wrong with my head?
“Just take us home,” I repeated.
Quinn opened the back door and I fastened Pea in her seat. I had to stop after closing her door. He wouldn’t let me open mine.
“What happened?” he questioned. His expression looked authentic. Was he being concerned, or was he fishing for something?
“Nothing, there’s someone in there I can’t run into.”
“There is?” Quinn questioned that with a little too much surprise, before recovering. I caught it. I think. “Like an ex?” he asked. Okay maybe I didn’t catch anything. Gah! Why did I agree to this?
“Yes. An ex,” I lied, going along with his theory. I couldn’t tell if I was pulling something over on him, or he was pulling something over on me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to wait around to see if he left and the comment about a couple days being enough was still dominant in the front of my mind. What did he mean by that? And the story about the rental truck? Was that my overzealous imagination going wild, or was that the truth?
Quinn talked to Pea like he had no idea that I had snatched her up and run with her. My mind tried to slow my racing heart without succeeding. I could barely comprehend what he was saying. My mind raced with thoughts of what could have happened had someone recognized us.
“Do you want to stop and get that pizza?” he offered with a smile.
“No, I don’t think so. I’ll just make us one at home.” Okay maybe he was just a nice guy. Maybe he wasn’t. I didn’t know, but I hated all the worrying. I hadn’t relaxed since Quinn had gotten there.
By the time Quinn finally left I managed to lie about everything, including my family who lived in Florida. I don’t know why I said that. It just came out. If he acted suspicious he wasn’t showing it. Maybe he did buy the whole ex story. Blake once did. I frowned while watching his truck drive down the long lane and turn right. The headlights were suddenly gone and there was no sign of him. That got my blood pumping. Was he watching my house?
I sat alone, overlooking the dark starless sky and made myself a pact to stay away from not only the smaller town, Clear Valley, but also Boise. We would shop at the little grocery store by the carwash. They didn’t have everything we were used to buying, but we would make do. And there were no TV’s.
Our time was going to be spent exploring acres and acres of God’s land. That was the last chance I was taking.
After soaking in a tub of very berry bubbles, I lay beside Pea, sound asleep in her bed. Why was I the only one who knew how special this kid was? I pulled her little body close to mine, taking in the same very berry scent I smelled on me. It was going to have to do. It was the only bubble bath our little store had. We both loved our bubbles, so I was sure we’d both be smelling like very berry. Whatever that was.
My mind drifted to how fragile Pea was when I found her. She was nothing like she is now. Not even in the same ballpark.
I spent three days with her before her father came home. Or should we just call him a sperm donor for now? Blake was far from being a father to her. He didn’t even see her, and Pea was so, I don’t even know what she was. Neglected. She was so quiet, so withdrawn. I didn’t know much about toddlers, but I did know this one wasn’t normal. She should be playing, yelling, jumping, exploring, and being a brat. She wasn’t. She was eerily quiet. Her teal eyes stared up at me with uncertainty.
***
The first couple of days I mostly observed her. She was more comfortable than she should have been in the dumb little dresses. The kid had no clothes. Well, she did, but they all looked like she was entering a pageant, every day. I was going to take care of that, which would be the first line that I crossed. I couldn’t help it. This guy didn’t have a clue how to be a father. He wasn’t a father—at all.
“Why is she still awake? It’s nearly nine thirty,” Blake asked, opening London’s bedroom door. I pulled down on my tee-shirt and sat up. London didn’t even react to him. She wasn’t excited at all. I never knew my father, but I did remember running to the front door after my mother got home from a long shift at the hospital. It didn’t matter how tired she was, she always made time for me. I was the first thing she wanted when she got home.
“Oh, hey. We were just reading a book.”
“On her tablet?”
“Duh. Yes, on her tablet. I put a reading app on it for her. Why doesn’t she have any books? She should have books.”
“She has books.”
“In case you didn’t know, she’s a toddler. Why would you buy her chapter books? Where’s the picture books? We want pretty pictures,” I chanted, trying to be cute. I tickled the little girl and got nothing. She pushed my hand away without a smile. Why was she so introverted?
“There’s a way to go about things, Makayla. You can order books. All you need to do is ask. Her last nanny didn’t speak great English, I’m sure she never thought about it. Lights out in ten,” Blake spoke in a stern, controlling voice. Whatever, dickhead.
“You want to finish the last couple pages?” I asked, offering her flesh and blood father the job he should have jumped at. He didn’t even say hello to her, no hugs, nothing. I was baffled and I couldn’t believe how he treated this adorable little girl like she was nobody.
“I’m going to shower. Goodnight, London.”
That was it. That was all the greeting the daughter that he hadn’t seen in three days got.
“Boy’s… They’re so weird,” I said turning to London. And—I got nothing. Her eyes turned back to the tablet not made for two year olds and I continued.
“Larry the monkey moped. He was sad.”
“Why?”
I smiled at her. There was hope for this child. She just needed to be seen. I saw her; I saw instantly how special she was. She liked to read. We’d get along just fine.
London hid her eyes with her hand when I said the finishing line—The End.
“De Nuevo,” London shyly spoke behind her hand. Oh my God. Spanish. She spoke Spanish. I remembered ‘de Nuevo’ from school. Again. She wanted me to read again. I suddenly remembered the one word she said to me in the tub and knew she was saying sorry. She was apologizing for the sucker and here I thought she was saying something in baby talk.
“Okay, let’s pick another one. I have your daddy’s credit card,” I smiled, forgetting all about the ten minute curfew from Blake. London understood me just fine, but when she answered me, she did it in Spanish. Makes sense. Her nanny was Spanish. The part that baffled me was that nobody knew it. Here you have this highly intelligent, bilingual little girl and nobody knew it.
This is where London adopted her name from. She pointed at the old folktale, ‘The Princess and the Pea’. London crawled from her pillow to my lap and I read to her the story of a real princess; the story about not judging, the story that became her favorite. I told her she was a real princess just like the story.
I left Pea with my first kiss that night. My first taste of love beyond my mom. She sighed a relaxed breath when I kissed her warm forehead and placed her little hands below her cheek. She was so precious.
Six
I didn’t mean to spy or listen in, but Blake made it so easy. He was in his office with the door open when I descended the stairs. His impressive leather chair was facing the city lights and it moved with the twisting of his feet. Back and forth. Back and forth.
“Hi, how are you?” He asked through the phone.
“Felicia, are we going to talk about this? I miss you.”
I listened to the one sided conversation by the door while Blake pleaded with whoever Felicia was.
“What? What are you talking about? I’ve been in Chicago, working.”
“Facebook?”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to move on, Felicia. I want to be with you, I—”
“What?”
“Felicia, I—”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It is a privilege to be in my life. My presence should be graced. Do you have any inkling at all as to how many women would die to be in your shoes?”
I audibly snorted from the last comment and then ran for my life when the chair turned. This guy was beyond stuck on himself. He was cute, yeah, I would give him that. I would never feel privileged to grace his presence. Did he really say that? What a dick.
Coming from my room dressed in jeans and sneakers, I met Blake, pouring a drink from the liquor cabinet and followed him to the balcony.
“I think I will wander out for a bit now that you’re home.”
“I think that’s a bad idea. It’s dark and you shouldn’t go wandering out there alone. Especially in the clothes you have. Even I would think you were homeless.”
“I am homeless. I’ll be fine.”
“Will you at least stay inside the gate?”
“No, I’ve been all around that gate, literally. Pea and I walked the entire property. This new phone you got me says it’s two point seven miles and the property is almost a perfect square, which makes it four acres. There’s even a small patch of woods right over there,” I pointed to a tiny corner on the property.
“Pea? And there is not a patch of woods on this property,” Blake bluntly pointed out the fact. “We’re in Manhattan. I am positive there are no woods within miles of here.”
I proudly boasted my new knowledge, “Yes huh. We talked to the gardener. He told us the story where it was once a park on the backside of the property. Back when this place was built in the twenties, before Zazen bought it. They tore it out for parking, but left the small patch of trees because of having to move water and sewer lines.”
“Thanks for the information. I’m glad I know that. I’ll be home by five tomorrow evening. You can go out then.”
“So you’re also paying me to boss me around?” I asked, cocking my hip.
“No. I’m paying you not to be an idiot. You’re not going out there tonight. Go to bed.”
“I don’t want to go to bed. I’m bored. I need to breathe.”
“Breathe out here,”
“No thank you,” I said, holding the door frame. I didn’t even like the thought of being on the fifty-eighth floor. There was no way I was going out there.
“You’re chicken. You’re afraid of heig
hts,” he accused, swirling his drink with a smirk.
“I am not.”
“Then walk out here.”
“No. I just told you I was going to walk around the city for a while.”
“And I told you, you weren’t. You did order clothes, right?”
“Yeah, oh and I got Pea a few things, too.”
“Stop calling her that. What is that anyway? That’s fine. That credit card is for anything she needs, including age appropriate books.”
“You wouldn’t understand. She should be in some sort of preschool, or play group.”
“Why? She’s already enrolled in Overlook Point. She’ll have the best education money can buy. And what do you mean I wouldn’t understand?”
“I’m not talking about what money can buy. I’m talking about friends and imagination.”
“She has everything under the sun to keep her entertained. Will you at least sit down? You’re making me nervous standing there like that,” he urged, “I need to see who I am speaking to.”
“Again, Mr. Coast, I was speaking of things money can’t buy.”
“Money can buy anything. Even friends,” he assured me. I did sit on the bench right outside the door, but not where he was. I didn’t need to see what was down there. I was fine right where I was. Did New York have a fault line? There was! The Ramapo Fault. This sky scraper of a building was probably going to shake and crumble to the ground. I literally had to do some deep breathing exercises to calm my height anxiety. I commented on his theory of buying friends to keep from thinking about how high off the ground I was or the earthquake about to cause me to crumble into dust.
“So if this was all gone tomorrow, you’d still have the friends? How about this Zazen dude you keep talking about? Would you still be his friend if you found yourself living in the slums next week?”
“Of course. I told you. I’ve known Zazen since I was like twelve.”
“So he’s like a father figure to you?” I questioned, digging for information.
He swirled his drink again and took a big gulp while making a face but never answered.
“You can’t answer because you know I am right,” I accused.