He was so damn annoying.
“Are you alright with this, Ms. Cunning?” El Diablo asked.
“No. But I accept that it must be done,” I said with confidence, even though I felt like a mouse in a snake pit.
What else could I do?
“Professor? When you say Margaret “The Shark” Cunning. Do you mean The Shark?” A guy in the front row asked.
“Off with his head!” Atticus whispered behind me.
“Get out,” Levi said to the guy up in the front row. “And let him be a lesson to you all; I do believe there are such things as stupid questions.”
“I want to defend my seat!” he objected.
I sunk into my chair, bracing myself for the horror show that was about to begin. Levi was going to eat him alive.
“You want to defend the fact that you didn’t understand what quotation marks meant?”
Atticus snorted behind me, trying his best to contain his laughter. The guy, paused, thought about his defense, drew in a deep breath and suddenly deflated. He lingered for a second before grabbing the rest of his things and leaving.
As the door slammed shut, Levi turned to face us. “Fifteen left. Three of you aren’t going to make it. I wonder who you are,” he said with no emotion whatsoever. “Now, let’s get started.”
The moment the words were out his mouth, it was as though someone had rung the bell at a heavy weight fight. Everyone tensed, sitting on the edge of their seats. But for some reason, seeing my mother’s name on the board gave me a sense of security.
“What do you know about Margaret Cunning?” he asked.
This? Her? She was the topic of today’s class?
“She was a total bad ass!” someone yelled, and Levi shot him a look that cut him down a few inches and reduced him to something bite size.
“That she was, but can anyone use big boy words, and explain why?” Levi asked as he looked around the class.
“While at the DA’s office, her first major case was Ayala Petroleum vs. the citizens of Blake. She was able to criminally charge Ayala Petroleum with over a dozen counts of manslaughter charges, resulting from their dumping of toxic waste into the Blake local river, and she won a class action suit, rendering the company bankrupt. She’s my hero.” Ms. Vega, the girl that Professor Black had called in regards to the Archibald case, said.
“After leaving the DA’s office, she started her own firm, where she successfully defended the likes of Nol van der Stoep, the Danish Ambassador, and the novelist Zinachidi Okoli,” Atticus added.
I had been jumping through hoops and bending myself over backwards for him, and all I asked him to do was to never bring up my mother again… And he couldn’t even respect me enough to do that. He couldn’t just let it go. According to our syllabus, we shouldn’t have covered any material that pertained to her until the end of the term. So he was doing this just to get under my fucking skin… and it was working.
Watching him talk, I wanted to storm to the front of the class, and scream all manners of obscenities into his face. Didn’t he get it? There were some lines you just didn’t cross.
“Anything to add, Ms. Cunning?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’m biased beyond measure.”
“You cannot be biased with facts,” he stated.
He was deliberately pushing me, and I was about to snap.
“When she was—” I paused, taking a deep breath I continued. I wouldn’t let him win. “She was offered the position of a Supreme Court Justice, but due to her deteriorating health, she was forced to decline.”
I sat up on the edge of my chair, waiting, praying that class would end. My leg bounced with anxiety, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of having you heart crawl up your throat. I could feel my eyes burning, but I refused to cry here. Finally he looked up at the time.
“Alright for next class—”
I was gone before he finished. I ran out of there as fast as I could, trying my best to breathe, but everything hurt.
Breathe, Thea. Breathe.
I leaned against the bathroom wall with my hands on my knees.
“Thea?”
No, please, no.
“This is the girls’ bathroom, get out,” I yelled at him.
“This is the guys’ bathroom,” he replied, and I looked around to find myself standing between two urinals…
“Of course it is,” I remarked bitterly.
“Thea.”
“Stop saying my name!”
His green eyes widened as he took a step back.
“Stop saying my name like you know me. You don’t, Levi. It was over a month ago, and that girl is not me. So stop saying my name.”
“I don’t believe that.” he said, as he leaned against the door.
“I don’t care what you believe!” I shouted at him.
“Talk to me Thea, what’s wrong with you?”
The world was shaking, or maybe it was just me. I didn’t know anymore, and I didn’t care.
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?!” I shouted hysterically, “What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you that you were never to bring her up again, and what do you go and do? You make her the class’ main discussion and to top it all off, you deliberately antagonized me to provoke a reaction! You’re so busy talking a million words per second, you don’t listen!”
Digging into my bag, I pulled out the napkin and threw it at him. The crumpled paper lay at his feet with the words free rant peeking out.
“Margaret “The Shark” Cunning,” I spat, “the woman everybody always praises, as if she were some sort of saint, was a conniving, manipulative, vengeful and bitter woman. She let my father go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit, while she ran off with her lover, my darling stepfather, who by the way, took great pleasure in molesting me when I was twelve. And when I told The Shark about it, she sent me off to live with my grandmother. I wet the bed for a year before I worked up the courage to tell my grandmother what had happened. By the time we went back for my sister, it was too late, he had already gotten to her and from what my mother told us, he was long gone. I suppose she must have seen it with her own eyes that time.
“My grandmother took us in, and I didn’t have to see her face again, until I got a call from her doctor. All the poison and bitterness she had been bottling up had finally started to kill her. She’d pushed everyone away, and in the end, she had no one left. So against my better judgment, I came back.
“I think I was expecting some sort of an apology, but all she wanted to talk about was the fact that her life’s work had all been in vain, because she had been forced to turn down that seat within the Supreme Court.
“So excuse me Professor Black, for not wanting praise her in front of your goddamn class. She is The Shark to me, because she eats her own young.”
I ended my free rant and grabbed my things. I moved towards the door, and he stepped aside without saying a word. I didn’t think about where I was going, I just ran. I ran from him, I ran from her, and I ran from the law.
I ran all the way home and threw myself into bed, sobbing heavily. I heard a movement next to my bed and I felt Selene crawl into bed to comfort me… she didn't bother asking. She didn’t need to.
LEVI
I entered the house, and made it to the bathroom sink just in time. My stomach was upturned, and as the reality of the situation hit me, all I could think about were her words. They haunted me.
I spat into the sink as a wave of vertigo swarmed over me. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure how I had made it all the way to my house. Everything from the moment she ran out of the bathroom to now was a blur. I saw her fighting back her tears. Her whole body language changed, like she was being run over by a car each time someone spoke of her mother. The panic, the fear, her pain, I couldn’t just turn away from her. Reason told me not to follow her, it was too risky. I could just swing by her place later. But she was in agony, and the risk meant nothing compared to that.
> Now I felt like my soul was being stoned, and the realization that I had victimized her by forcing her to endure that lecture… I retched once more. This time, nothing more than a thin thread of saliva passed my lips.
I stepped away from the sink and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. As my back pressed against the cool tile of the bathroom wall, I allowed myself to slide to the floor.
I lifted up her napkin. Of all the things I thought she would have ranted about, this was nowhere near my list.
As I sat there, lost in the painful memory of our conversation, my phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID, I answered, “This isn’t a good time.”
“Oh? Who’s over—?”
“Bethan. I’m serious.”
“What happened?” her tone changed.
I thought for a moment. “Have you ever seen a nuclear bomb go off?”
“Levi…”
“The people in the center, they don’t feel anything. One minute they’re alive, the next, they’re just ash. It’s the people who are far away that really suffer.”
“Levi, I don’t understand.”
“A bomb went off today, and it was my fault. I saw the Do Not Touch sign, and I knew that if I did, that something bad would happen, but I just wanted to know what that something was, and then the bomb went off. I never expected it to be as bad as it was…”
“I’m coming over,” she said.
“No, I’m fine.”
“No you’re not! Listen to yourself Levi, you’re talking crazy.”
“I just want to go back to that week, everything was better that week,” I said, talking more to myself than to her. “I’ll call you later. I gotta go.”
I hung up, and threw my phone away into the corner.
When you find out that someone you care about was hurt, how do you help them? How do you help them after pouring salt on their wounds?
I could admit it now; I cared about Thea. It had taken me an entire month to come this far, and I had pushed her away… maybe for good.
CHAPTER TWELVE
P A S T
D A Y 6
THEA
“The sun, it burns,” I joked, hiding behind his back when we got outside.
“I know, just push through it, persevere,” he chuckled.
Taking my hand, we walked down my street and into the town. I enjoyed the sight of all the leaves falling from the trees above us. The reds, golds, and oranges, they all made the world so much more beautiful in my eyes.
“What are you smiling about?” he asked.
I pinched my cheeks, not realizing the face I was making. “I love fall. It’s my favorite season. You have to give it to Mother Nature, even when she’s technically dying, she’s doing it like a true lady and going out with style.”
“I would have pegged you as more of a spring girl.”
“You’ve pegged me? Have you been thinking about me, Mr. Black?” I teased him with a laugh.
He rolled his eyes, and placed his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him— “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. How can I not be thinking of you?”
I wanted to kiss him.
“Why spring?” I asked, curious as to his assumption.
The truth of the matter was that I needed to stay focused, or else we’d end up right back at my house, or worse yet, doing it somewhere in public. That thought alone caused a momentary throbbing sensation in all the right places.
Why did that excite me? What is he doing to me?
“Because it’s the season that’s full of life. It’s bright and preppy.”
“Preppy? And you were doing so well!”
Preppy?
“What’s your favorite season?” I asked, as I decided to let the preppy comment slide.
“Winter,” he said, “I love the snow, and the way it just blankets everything. It’s beautiful, especially at the crack of dawn, when the world is still asleep, and the sun starts to come up.”
It did sound beautiful.
“Sadly, it’s only a temporary state. Before you know it, we silly humans go and muck it all up.”
“Yes, all that blasted shoveling. Or would you rather everyone just stay inside all winter?”
“That would be glorious,” he said with a smile. “Spend the fall stocking up on food, and just hibernate for the winter,” he half-joked. “Imagine how much fun we could have!”
“As genius as your plan is, imagine how many people would snap if they were locked away with their families for four mouths.”
“Even better! I would make a killin’ in the spring.”
I laughed. “You’re a horrible person.”
“Yeah, yeah. But I can still dream. Can’t I?”
There was something about Levi I just liked. It was so easy to be around him. We didn’t say much after that, until we got into town and I saw the long line coming out of the Young Thailand restaurant. It snaked around the freaking corner of the block! Apparently, their dinner was worth waiting for.
“Yeah why don’t we just—” I began, but he ignored me and led me to the front of the line.
“Reservation for Black,” he said as we got inside.
“Good evening,” the hostess bowed at us.
She picked up two menus from the stack nearby, and beckoned us to follow her. She led us to a table at the storefront window.
“Reservation?” I asked, as she seated us and left. “Did you just trick me into going on a date with you?”
“How else am I ever going to ever get you to stop eating frosted flakes?”
“What’s wrong Frosty?” I pouted.
“It’s sugar and fake corn, need I say more?”
“You’re no better, with your granola bars!” I accused him.
“Not the same,” he retorted, as he slid the basket of unleavened bread towards me.
“I’d eat more, but someone never gives me a break long enough to sit down and eat a full meal,” I shot back, as I broke off a piece of the bread and nibbled on the end.
“Oh, that’s a two way street baby, and you know it.”
I knew that he was right, I just couldn’t bring myself to admit it. Instead, I picked up my menu and pretended to be completely captivated by a list of food that I had never seen, had, or heard of, in my life.
He remained silent, letting the issue go, and the next time I glanced up, I saw that he was staring out the window, watching as the autumn leaves fluttered in the wind. As I looked at him, I realize just how attracted to him I was, and not just in a sexual way either. Sex had started our time together, but lately, it felt more personal than that.
Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn’t notice that he had turned his attention back to me. I looked away, blushing because I knew that I hadn’t been quick enough, and he had caught me ogling him. Knowing him, he probably assumed that I was having erotic fantasies about him.
Luckily, before he could say anything, a server came to take our order.
“What would you like to have?” Levi asked.
Crap. I hadn’t really read the menu.
“Ah… the Larb Leuat Neua?” I said, picking the first thing that caught my eye.
His eye went wide, and he chuckled before he placed his own order.
“Are you sure?” he asked me.
I wasn’t, but I nodded anyway. I had already committed, it was too late to back down without looking like a complete idiot. With a smile, he nodded at the server who collected the menus and left.
“Seriously?” he asked again, this time with a slight frown.
“What?”
“You hate raw food, right?” he asked, knowing full well that I did, after he’d unsuccessfully tried to get me to eat sushi.
“Yeah…”
“Larb Leuat Neua is basically a raw meat salad with mint leaves.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
People could sell that?
“If that’s not what you really wanted, I can call the—
”
“Nope, I’m good,” I interrupted.
Note to self: when on dates, read the damn menu.
“Can we just pretend that that didn’t just happen?” I begged, shifting in my seat.
I was always embarrassed when it came to him. It was as though my brain just went on hibernate, and I was left to fend for myself.
“What’s your favorite color?” he asked.
“What?”
“I’m pretending that didn’t just happen. What’s your favorite color?”
“Teal.”
“Teal?”
“I’ve always had trouble picking between blue and green; then one day I saw teal, and all was right with the world,” I laughed.
Teal was my happy color.
He nodded, then looked at me as though he was waiting for something. Finally he gave up.
“This is the part where you ask me what my favorite color is, Thea,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Is it? This is a slippery slope we’re on, you know. First it’s colors, and the next I’m telling you my deepest, darkest secrets.”
“Are you scared, Ms. Cunning?”
“I’m not, but you’re just not ready for it yet, Mr. Black.”
“Anything you bring to the table, I can take. But hey, if you’re scared of—”
“What’s your favorite color Levi?” I asked finally giving in.
He smirked, “I don’t have one.”
“Then what was…” I stopped, he did this all the time. “You really just like rattling me, don’t you?”
“In every sense of the word,” he said, behind the glass of water, and I shifted under his gaze.
He reached across the table, took my hand and rubbed the inside of my palm with his thumb. Though it was a small action, I felt myself melting into him. After six days, just doing this was enough.
We leaned back into our seats and relaxed, enjoying each other’s company. When the server brought our food to the table, he didn’t let go of my left hand. I tried to ignore him, but it bothered me how at ease he was. My pulse was racing, and he didn’t seem to be bothered by it in the least.
Slipping out of my flats, I pressed my right foot between his legs, smiling innocently when he jumped.