It can’t end. We had to stick together. The more they fought, the more it was obvious to us. We had to find a way to convince Kota. Mr. Blackbourne had been right. Kota was the core of the team. Without him believing in it, the others would doubt.
We would fail.
We would break.
I folded my arms over my stomach. I’d put on fresh underwear, no bra, a bulky sweatshirt that I suddenly realized might have been Luke’s because it was baby blue and too big for me, and cotton shorts. They were the first things I had seen inside that were my size. I didn’t recognize them, and for all I knew, they weren’t shorts at all, but one of the boys’ boxers and I was too panicked to notice the difference. I’d dressed quickly inside Victor’s closet, not daring to waste time.
My father’s return wasn’t unexpected, but it had happened without warning, and with the rest of us so far away. The fact that he’d called around asking for me made us much more worried. Maybe he was just worried about me. Maybe he was upset that I’d left Marie alone for a week. Had something happened to her? An accident?
“What about my mother?” I asked Kota in general as he drove and then regretted looking to him for an answer. His hands were locked at ten and two, and he edged over the speed limit, despite being such a stickler for road rules. He hadn’t even gotten on my case about my seat belt, which at first I had forgotten about but had slowly, quietly put on. I refocused on Victor beside me. “My stepmother, I mean. Is it because of her? Did he come back about her? Is she out of the hospital?”
“She can’t be,” Victor whispered. He picked up my hand and held it tight enough that my fingers tingled, threatening to become numb. “We would have been notified. Although she’s been demanding a transfer to a different hospital, one that would let her go home.”
Nathan twisted in his seat until he faced me. “We’re working on pretending to do so, and just driving her around the block in an ambulance and bringing her back inside the hospital from a different entrance, giving her a new room and a new doctor.”
“How long...can they keep her there?” I asked.
Nathan turned back around to face the windshield again but continued to speak. “For now, at least. She’s still talking divorce, but also she wants doctors who just give her whatever medications she wants. The stuff that makes her so loopy.”
“We won’t be able to keep her forever,” Kota said. He breathed in deeply through his nose and out through his mouth, turning his head slightly as he checked all of the mirrors. “For now, though, she isn’t a problem. She’s being monitored, and they are doing everything they can to make sure she’s stable, both physically and mentally.”
I settled into the seat, bringing up my legs and lifting the sweatshirt to roll it over the top of my knees and cocoon myself inside. I dipped my head to my knees, darkening the light and warming myself with my own breath to stop the onset of goose bumps along my body. If he rolled up the window, it was too stuffy, and with it open even just a crack, it was cold.
“He’s probably just checking up on me,” I said, more out of hope. “He came back, but...he’ll go again. He didn’t want to be here.”
Victor’s palm found my back, and he rubbed warmly, leaning in. “It’ll be fine. We won’t be too far away, and we’ll be listening to whatever he says.”
“We should have done something before now,” Nathan mumbled under his breath. “This shouldn’t be a problem.”
“We don’t know what’s going on,” Kota said. “And he wasn’t the one tying her up and leaving her to die. Despite whatever we might assume about his past, he’s never laid a finger on her.” He lifted his head and peered back at me for the first time since leaving the house. “Right?”
I nodded, chewing my lip. I couldn’t remember the last time my father had ever done anything to me—punishment or a hug. His interactions with me usually only showed indifference. On occasion, he did stand up to my stepmother when I’d been on the floor for hours and he finally noticed. Otherwise, he stayed out of it.
Probably so she wouldn’t tell the world about me. He only stepped in when things got too extreme, and it would affect my health, so that someone at school would look closer.
“Hopefully, he’s back just to check on the house and panicked when you weren’t there,” Kota continued. “That’s what we have to assume. It’s why we left your old room the way it was. So he’d think you were still around. Remember?”
I did remember. Some clothes, books and other things had been left behind. The bed had been made. My old trunk was still there.
My bedroom had a small door leading to an attic space. Inside, I’d left the old wardrobe, too, despite wanting to bring it out. The attic was still mostly soundproof. It had pictures inside, along with lights and a beanbag chair. We’d left it because we weren’t sure if my dad would be back on occasion, maybe over weekends like he used to before my mother had gone into the hospital.
Originally, even I’d assumed he would come back every couple of weeks, maybe to refill the fridge and pantry with food and to pay the bills.
I’d stopped thinking he would be back when he’d started paying the bills from wherever he was staying now. He’d sent Marie some cash to pay for food, although Marie hadn’t told me about it.
Because he’d taken steps not to come back, I had assumed he wouldn’t, and I’d settled into the idea that I’d never see him again.
I was nervous about that now, about seeing his face. I’d yelled at him while his wife was possibly dying on the way to the hospital. He’d returned, only to tell me he was leaving and to put a trampoline in the backyard, as if that could make up for the fact that he was going away.
He’d refused to tell me about my past. About where I’d come from and who my mother was.
I wished we could avoid seeing him now. What would he really do if I never showed up? Would he give up and just disappear again? It wasn’t like he could call the cops to search for me. He would never do it.
Despite my wish, the car pulled onto Sunnyvale Court.
To avoid any attention in case Mr. Hendricks had someone watching the road, Kota parked at Bob’s Diner. It was New Year’s Day. The neon sign glowed, advertising it was open, yet the parking lot was almost empty. It was probably a good thing it was slow.
Most of the employees were Academy, and many of them, including some of us, had been at camp all week.
Kota turned off the engine. He twisted in the seat to look back at me. “Remember,” he said, “go in, tell him you’ve been at school camp. You can give him most of the details. Whatever might convince him this was just a normal school thing and you decided to go. Given his history, he’s probably only concerned because it could lead to exposure, so just promise not to do it again.”
Despite his calm demeanor, his eyes were wide, and his knuckles were still white from having gripped the steering wheel so tightly and now being balled into fists.
Victor pulled out his own phone and passed it to me. “You’ll need to hang on to this,” he said. “I turned the sound off. It’s probably best if you hide it.” The case was white. Mine had cracked, and in the chaos, I wasn’t exactly sure where it was at the moment.
I didn’t have a bra on right now, so I tucked the phone into my underwear at my back. With the shorts’ waistband tight, it should stay at my waist if I didn’t bounce around too much. “Can you still listen with it at my back?”
“We can listen through it or through your father’s cell phone if needed,” Victor said. “And we’ll have the cameras running so we can see what’s going on. It’ll drain the battery, so don’t forget to charge it.”
Nathan opened Gabriel’s door, allowing him to get out, and then Nathan reached in and took my hand to help me scoot along until I was stepping on the gravel of the parking lot.
“No matter what,” Nathan said as he closed the door, “if you feel threatened, walk out the door. I’m not going to be far.”
“Me, either,” Gabriel mumbled. His c
rystal eyes darkened, his lips taut.
Nathan shot him just as dark a look.
No one was happy with this.
Or they were still moody after the fight they’d had. It was hard to tell.
There was no time to tell them what I’d heard, and I didn’t dare bring it up. In the moment, my heart was pounding so loud. This was worse than the week leading to camp. There had been no warning, and now I was returning home for the first time in what felt like eons.
I breathed in the cold January air. I wasn’t sure of the time, but I considered it had to be past noon at least. How different my world had become since yesterday, or even this morning. Camp had changed me. Despite my issues with being around girls, and the disaster I’d become around the shower, the Academy had shown me a world of kindness. Coming back had been a trip through a wardrobe...the Academy had been Narnia, and now I was back, blinking, wondering if it had all been a dream, because the real world wasn’t nearly as nice.
I needed to avoid being seen coming in, just in case.
I repeated what I needed to do in my head while we walked along the path through the woods.
I’d walk in.
He’d ask where I’d been.
I would say I was at camp.
He’d fuss about it, but I’d say sorry, wouldn’t happen again.
He might stay a day or two, but even so, he’d be gone for work. By Monday at the latest, he’d go.
He wouldn’t come upstairs. I might even just go for a walk while he was there.
I’d avoid him, like before.
I’d be able to sneak out to be around the guys, and they could sneak inside at night.
Once my father left, and we were sure he was gone, I’d be free again.
A thin layer of leaves crunched under my feet as I walked. Kota led the way and carried a pack loaded with a laptop to monitor everything. Nathan and Gabriel walked beside me. Victor followed.
“If you need someone to vouch, we can always call Carla,” Kota said, talking about a sort of friend I’d made at camp. “She’ll even do it without a favor.”
I didn’t dare bother Carla. She was nice, even if we’d started out at odds that week. Between her and the other girls, as much as they were very nice, I’d left under poor circumstances, in the middle of the night, and never wanted to see them again. I was too embarrassed.
Still, in my heart, I knew if I asked her, Carla, or Lake, or anyone at the Academy would help if I asked.
It was a thought that was supposed to calm me down; however, my heart wouldn’t stop racing.
I swallowed a thousand times on that walk. My heart felt like it was in my throat. My nerves were overwrought with anxiety. I didn’t think I’d ever feel calm again, I’d been so high-strung for so long.
When the path twisted and I found the bridge that led to the backyard, we stopped.
We stood together in a line, with me in the center, and we watched.
We waited.
Nathan shifted until he was behind me, looking over my head. His hands found my shoulders, and he massaged.
Victor claimed my right hand.
Gabriel my left.
Kota gripped the pack he was wearing.
We all stared.
Waiting for explosions.
The house didn’t seem any different to me, but we were seeing the back. The shed blocked the view of the drive. The screened-in back porch was empty.
The blinds were down. That was normal for my house.
The trampoline we had finished stood quietly, the metal rim reflecting sunlight. The grass was a little overgrown, but the process had slowed for winter, and patches of it were brown. Despite the break in clouds and the blue sky above, the day still felt gray and gloomy with the bare trees and the chill.
“I’ll get this over with,” I said, suddenly determined. My father wouldn’t stay on. “He’s just here to pay a bill and check up on us. He’ll leave again.”
“Let’s hope so,” Kota said. He found his phone. He turned it on, pushed a pink heart...my icon. The screen gave an option for video feeds, and he checked one. “I see him,” he said. “He’s in his bedroom, making the bed.” He picked his head up and looked out toward the back window that led to my parents’ en suite bathroom. “So he’s staying at least one night.”
“Okay,” I said. That was in sync with what I was thinking before. “Yes. He’s here for a night. Maybe two. He’ll be gone on Monday. I can probably walk in there, show my face, and once he’s busy, I’ll sneak right back out again.”
“We’ll send someone in,” Kota said, not looking at me but continuing to look at the house. “We’ll keep an eye on it and find a good time to head up. Someone will be in the attic at all times at the least.”
“You said he wouldn’t hurt her,” Victor said. He turned to face Kota, looking past me to do so. “Why send someone in if she isn’t staying?”
“It’s not about him,” Kota said and turned back to me. His green eyes had a depth of sadness I’d rarely seen in them, and it now seemed to envelop him enough to scare me. “It may take a few hours for you to establish a routine, and figure out if you’ll be able to get out. And you should really rest a bit since...because...” He paused, lowering his eyes to the ground. I knew he was thinking about this morning, when I’d fainted. “But it’s up to you. Do you want us to?”
He was right. Did I think it would be so simple? I’d walk in, talk to him, but what if I needed to be seen more?
I could spend the weekend there, if needed. That wouldn’t be too bad if they were there with me anyway. “Don’t let anyone go up there unless you’re sure it’s safe,” I said. “Don’t let them get caught.”
He nodded sharply.
That was it. Decision made. Despite heading back, I wouldn’t be alone.
I was never alone.
I left them and crossed the bridge, still feeling their warm touch in my palms and at my shoulders, and I tried to keep that memory with me. I ducked my head and kept going.
When I was halfway across the yard, I heard a short whistle. I panicked, worried someone inside would hear, and I stopped, turning back.
Kota had stepped into view, waving to me.
I started to turn back. Was something wrong? I stood in the yard, puzzled, trying to figure out if he was telling me to hurry up for some reason, or to go back. With the way he was waving to me, I couldn’t figure out his meaning.
“Sang!” Marie’s voice came at me like a punch in the back. I spun around again, hoping Kota would retreat and let me handle this. I wasn’t sure if seeing him would spur her to say something to our father.
Marie was at the edge of the wide driveway, her arms crossed over her chest. She was barefoot, wearing jeans and a sweater. Her eyes were wide, her straight brown hair in a ponytail. She motioned for me to hurry. “Come quick.”
I started slowly toward her, looking over my shoulder once.
Kota had disappeared again out of sight.
Was that what Kota had been warning me about? That Marie was outside?
I hurried to her. It was too late to turn back now.
I was back.
Three Plus Two Makes Cataclysm
Marie waited in the driveway while I charged through the yard toward her. Her hair was frizzy around her face, and she brushed the strands out of her eyes and back behind her ear. She shook her head, making a displeased frown. “You won’t believe this,” she said, grumbling. “I just can’t believe it.”
“What?” I said, wanting to ask her more, but I stopped, distracted by the car parked in the drive just outside the garage.
My father’s car. I’d expected it, but then something struck me hard at seeing it in that particular spot.
It wasn’t in the garage.
I glanced up the road, looking out for mysterious cars around that could belong to Mr. Hendricks or someone who worked for him. Had anyone seen him drive in?
Had anything happened within view of the road that I should w
orry about?
“Come see,” Marie said, interrupting my scan of the street. She padded into the garage.
I trailed behind, coming around the edge of the house.
A minivan was parked in one of the garage spaces, luggage strapped to the top of it. The second parking spot in the garage was taken up by cardboard boxes stacked neatly in rows.
The minivan had a North Carolina license plate.
“Who...” I started to say, the questions falling from my lips the moment I thought of them. I couldn’t get a full phrase out after that.
Panic claimed me. Deep down in my bones, I was shaking.
That had to be what Kota was trying to warn me about. Could it be social services?
If that was the case, why was the plate from North Carolina? And what were the boxes for? Were they packing up what little I had and moving me out?
Was that why he’d demanded I come back? Because the police had demanded it?
Did they drive minivans?
Marie walked past it all and went directly for a short flight of steps that led up to the side door. She put her hand on the handle, and then waited for me.
I eased myself around the minivan, and as I got closer, I heard a deep humming coming from inside the house.
A vacuum.
Our father never did housework. Not that I’d ever seen him. We usually did it.
Now everything made even less sense. He had been making the bed. I didn’t know much about social services, or the police, but if they’d discovered my existence and had come to take me, he wouldn’t be vacuuming the house.
Would he?
I stalled just before taking that first step on the stairs. After a week of camp, and with my issues with the guys, I wasn’t sure I could handle this new problem.
This wasn’t what we’d expected.
This shook the plan I’d had right out of my brain.
Marie’s wide, terrified brown eyes told me she wasn’t about to enter without me. It was like when we were kids, and we’d gotten into trouble for leaving toys out, or playing out in the yard after dark.