Somewhere in my rant, Vade’s eyes had moved to Glory’s. She was letting a sly smile dangle on the corners of her lips, and he seemed to get some unspoken message loud and clear from her.
He spoke to her, but the message was meant for the both of us. “And every man feels the same. That is why words must be spoken.”
Glory’s ivory skin blushed as she glanced away from Vade’s stare.
Vade let his gaze melt into her for a second or two before he turned his attention back to me. “I’m in, as you say, a hurry because your emotion of fear cannot be suppressed for much longer. For the fact that your life is in danger and you are one kill away from facing The King of Obsession’s First. You need to get past this. Now.”
Glory glanced over me, then moved her stare to Vade. “Let her keep the memories.”
“I cannot. The others will know we are aware.”
Glory slowly moved closer to Vade, managing to look both seductive and innocent at the same time. “Let her keep the memories of him, she needs them.”
It was clear to see if this king had a weakness, it was this woman.
He let out a deep breath before he spoke again. “The innocence that time has washed away must be recreated for their bond to be sealed. She must go to him willingly, not out of habit.”
“Do you honestly believe that any soul that was birthed from your essence would be with a woman out of mere habit? That the woman he adores would?”
It was clear to me that her words held a deeper meaning than first glance would offer.
“Of course not,” he breathed as he reached to caress her neck.
It all made sense now. He was the King of Anger standing against the others; this was the woman he had divided his reign with, a woman that had clearly invoked change. Their actions did not go without punishment. Those that were birthed from their energy were now targeted in order to bring them down.
“Let the memories remain,” Glory said once again.
“Tell me, how are you so certain that she needs them…that this will not hurt them?”
Glory glanced to the wall, to an image of Drake tracing Willow’s eyes as he searched there for something that she could not return. The fact that it was still echoing around me was not helping any insecurity that I had.
“For if one mere moment of this existed between us, in your past…wrath would be my only course of action when it came to the likes of you.” Glory glanced to me. “She is a stronger woman than I. She has already proven that by allowing him to breathe in her presence.”
I liked her. A lot. I nodded once as I let out an uneasy breath.
“As you wish, my sweet rush,” Vade said gently to her.
Glory turned and slowly walked to where I was standing. “Your energy is weak. Know that only one can empower you, and you must find that power with haste. Your kill will emerge in the image of another.” She reached for my chin and pressed her fingers firmly against my skin. “Strike here. Hard.” Her auburn eyes searched mine. “Go now, and speak the words you fear—for they are your life.”
A rush of energy surrounded me, taking my breath and seizing my heart.
How did I get over here? I thought as I felt my body gasping for air and found myself against the far wall of the kitchen. Drake was still sitting on the stool. His arms fell to his lap as if I had just vanished from them.
My mind was racing at mach speed. As I stared into his eyes, lifetimes, endless lifetimes were sliding through my thoughts. I felt every emotion as if it were raw, new, yet old. How was I doing that? Was it him? Were these his dreams? I squinted my eyes closed, then opened them again and dared to see him.
They were not coming from him. He did have some of these in his mind, but he was missing so many. Yet, the emotion that was coming from me and him was one in the same.
I felt like a horrible person. I needed proof to let myself feel this—he didn’t. My soul had to open a dam just to give my heart the courage to state what it felt.
I began to tremble as he slowly stood from where he was sitting.
“I’ve always loved you,” I blurted out. “I never stopped, and I never will.” I took in a jagged breath as my eyes glassed over. “You have the power to crush me—break me in two…and that…that terrifies me.”
I saw him sway as he braced his arm on the back of the chair. His breaths were deep and long as those eyes that would put the midnight hour to shame poured into my soul.
I wanted to go to him. I wanted to find a better way to say that to him. I wanted this to be a better memory, and not a reflection of my deepest fears and weaknesses. I wanted this to happen any other way than it just had. I mean, look at him. He could barely stand. I had knocked the life out of this boy. Why? How? What did I just do? How badly did I ruin this?
After one more deep breath, he began to move closer to me. I measured each step, took in the way the muscles in his long arms were flexing, the depth in his stare. I took it all in, waiting for a rejection. Waiting for him to tell me that his emotion was not as strong—or at the very least that now I had to share him.
When he reached me, his strong hand cradled my face, causing me to quiver. Tenderly, he pulled me to his lush lips; I sighed feeling the warmth of them against mine.
Though his touch was brief, it slammed into my core, leading me past any physical ecstasy that we had experienced together.
“You are my first love, my last love. You are the woman that I will love forevermore, throughout all of eternity.”
My knees buckled, but his instant reflexes caught me before I could completely fall to the floor.
“You’re trembling,” he said in a quiet, deep voice.
I could not meet his gaze. I could not comprehend how I went from plotting to find a body I had lived in forever ago to this. How did I get here?
“I have fallen from grace,” he whispered as his lips brushed across my forehead and he pulled me against his firm body. “I don’t deserve you. I know that.”
My breath caught as I waited for the rejection to come from his next words.
“I know that I have disgraced the loyalty that you demand…but you have to know that the first thing I thought when I looked into your eyes was ‘Where have you been?’ You caused an instant explosion in my soul, one that was so perfect, so beautiful that I had no choice but to believe that it was too good to be true, that you could not be real. That my deepest desires had manifested this beautiful being just so I would know how unworthy I really was. Just so I would know that I had let evil inside of me, and it was not going to stop until I was consumed with utter, lonely darkness.”
He reached for my hand and placed it on his chest so I could feel his thundering heart. “I have lost you far too many times to ever let that happen again. Tell me you can feel my love.”
All the adrenaline that had rushed through my body was fading away, leaving me weak and breathless. I leaned my head against the wall behind me. “I felt it at first glance.”
He smiled. Oh God, that smile could halt the entire universe. It was just that perfect.
I let out another breath. “I was mad at you.”
Guilt took over his emotion.
I reached for his neck and pulled his forehead to mine, still having a hard time holding his gaze but needing to feel his skin against mine. “The anger should have told you that I love you.” My hand tightened around his jawline. “Because if I wasn’t angry, then that meant I didn’t care.”
“I just needed to hear it, Madison Marie. Just once.”
I smiled absentmindedly, hearing something close to that coming from another voice.
“What?” he asked, searching my odd expression.
“I think I’m going mad.”
“Because you love me?” he said with a boyish smile.
I moved my head from side to side. “That is the only thing keeping me sane.”
His stare questioned me.
“I think one of the two of us has a guardian angel.”
; His smile grew wide. “If that angel gave us this moment, I will forevermore be in its debt.”
“I think we are being prepped for war, that this darkness is more than you assume.”
“I never assume anything. And whatever war is waiting on us can wait a little longer.” His hands glided along my arms. “You’re freezing.”
His strong arms moved around my body as he picked me up gracefully and carried me into the hall, then to the doors of my room.
“You know, I was supposed to show you this room, see your expression. This job of mine robbed me of that, too.”
“They made it seem like you had been building it for a while.”
His eyes grew distant for a brief second. “It was the only thing me and my father did together. It was silent bonding. He carried all the materials to this dimension. Nothing is from Esterious. He did the same for my mother’s quarters.”
A glance from Drake opened the doors to my chamber.
You would think that after that breakthrough we’d just had that the last thing that would cross my mind would be Britain telling me that the bed before me belonged to Willow. Internally, I kicked myself and gripped Drake’s hand as we crossed the room.
I glanced at the stone floor, the basins of paint, water, the fire, and breathed out. That was my style of art, not Willow’s, so I assumed that was what Aden was referring to when he said Drake added to the room. Before I could wonder what Drake could have taken away, I pushed my wayward thoughts away.
“Aden said you added to this room,” I murmured as I pulled back the thick duvet.
I saw him tense as he helped me with all the pillows. “Did he show you?”
I nodded toward the colorful walls of the room. “I think it’s clear I figured it out.”
Drake glanced to the room, the paint, then back to me. “That was the first thing I designed. I knew you liked messes,” he said with a wink.
“What, then?” I asked, completely perplexed.
He urged me on the bed and climbed in next to me. I saw him messing with the bed post near the curtain, but I was still at a loss. I heard a hum at the foot of the bed and saw something moving: it was a black wall. I edged back on the bed as I heard him laugh under his breath. “Calm down.”
He pointed at the wall, then all of a sudden I understood it was a massive TV. I grinned when I saw a paused episode of I Love Lucy on the screen.
“You added a TV?”
“That and a stereo system. In my defense, they do not use televisions in Chara or Esterious, so I should get some slack for not having one ready.”
“Where did you find one this big?”
“Your dad told me where to get one.”
“My father?” I asked as I pointed to my chest.
Drake smirked. “I complimented him that night I met him. He told me where to buy and suggested that I buy the next size up.”
“I left you alone with him for five seconds,” I playfully complained. “Does he have you watching football, too?”
“He mentioned it. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled that we were breaking this screen in with this DVD.”
He raised his arm, inviting me to tuck myself against him. Nothing had ever felt more natural.
He hit ‘Play,’ resuming the last episode we had fallen asleep watching. His fingertips tenderly traced my arm as he laughed on cue with the simplistic craziness of this classic.
I let my body relax against him, but my mind was going haywire. I felt an overwhelming sense of trepidation and had no idea why.
Chapter Eighteen
~Drake~
I’m sure she thought I was relaxed, at ease with her in my arms as we watched this black and white comedy. But my mind was racing. The meeting I had with Landen and the others promised a malicious future; the only thing positive out of the experience was a forfeited bond with the men I would trust my life, my kingdom with.
Landen and the others had predicted that with this trial there would be five sacrifices needed…two were his. I already knew the other three were mine, and now I had a sick feeling that I knew exactly what those three sacrifices would be.
I had little fear over any explosion or this trial until I discovered that she had been alone with Donalt. What he told her made the ice in my veins wave constantly. The vague dream I had of that night was becoming less ambiguous, and knowing that there was a child and that that child was damaged broke my heart. I knew now that I had failed two people that meant the world to me, then and now, and if I didn’t figure something out soon I would do so again.
Every time the ice became too much, I thought of when she told me she loved me. I had imagined that moment a thousand times over and never once thought I would see that kind of fear in her eyes. The dark side of me told me she was forced into that moment; the very slim positive side led me to believe that her eyes were just opened, that she believed every word I spoke, that I had been forgiven for all the wrongs I’d committed in this life.
I had to figure out why Britain was in my palace, how we were going to play this game. Xavier acted as if he had no knowledge of the string, of The Realm, or any and all supernatural powers he or I had. So how was I going to call his bluff? How was I going to tell him I knew that boy was mocking a high school student days ago?
Madison believed we were all being prepped for war; I concurred. But I seemed to be the only one thinking that we were as strong as a house of cards. I was raised here. I knew how powerful the men we were against were. I knew the stage all too well.
I needed to talk to Zander. I needed him to give me insight on the near future—and for Creator’s sake, I needed him to give me a different herbal remedy. I was growing weaker. I knew that. To hold off the cold, I eased my mind and found my way to sleep, hoping against all hope that she would not see my weakness tonight.
~Madison~
Drake only made it through two episodes before he drifted to sleep; that was almost two hours ago, and I have been staring at the paused screen ever since then. I was lost in my mind, lost in discovering all these memories that all at once belonged to me again. The emotions that were soaring through me were so deep that they were invoking grief, a grief that I should not feel any longer.
Something deep inside was telling me that my vacation from menacing emotions was nearly over. That could not be good. I had to get through this mystery before that moment came.
I knew that time was an enemy. That it moved too quickly. That the bliss I was supposed to be lying in now would soon fade. I’m not morbid. And I’m not intentionally attracting bad thoughts in my mind. It was just the truth. Even if Drake and I were a normal couple cuddling side by side, this time would end. Age would come, and anything and everything could happen to us during that passage of time. Whether it was good or bad, this moment, this beginning would soon be nothing more than a nostalgic memory.
Knowing that truth should have allowed me to cherish this time, it should have empowered me and allowed me to savor it. But I have always been the type of person that saves her dessert for last, meaning I would rather work toward something than own it—for when I owed it, soon, very soon it would no longer exist.
The memories in my mind should have ensured me that life would come again, a moment like this would come in another shape or form, and it would be even more blissful. But God help me, I wanted to stop time. I wanted to hold on to my youth, my ambitions, and look forward, not back, at blissful times.
I think maybe my issue was knowing that death stood between me and the next passage of life. That I would have to cross that threshold alone, and there would be no guarantees that I would ever return to fall into Drake’s arms again.
I wanted to take that risk away so badly that it was nearly causing the fear I shouldn’t feel to absorb me.
I decided to be analytical about this. Though most of my newfound memories were of the emotions between Drake and me, there were reasons behind those emotions, or circumstances rather. I peered deep into my thoughts, using every
exercise my mother had ever taught me about meditation and soul searching.
I was looking for a child, a child that could have been mine. I was looking a reason that I would have managed to attract the attention of some obsessive king.
Stairs...I kept seeing rows and rows of stairs, and at the bottom of this erratic pattern was a black abyss, but I couldn’t figure out the glass boat, where it was. I knew one thing: in that life I was far more aware of who I was and what I had to do than I could ever dream to be in this life. That was unsettling in and of itself. It led me to believe that over time I’d become weaker, not stronger.
For no reason, Drake’s body tensed. I moved away, thinking I had disturbed him. Sweat instantly glistened across his skin as his face grimaced.
I pulled myself up on my knees as I debated whether or not to wake him up. He was clearly not enjoying whatever dream he was enduring. In the dark room, I saw what looked like dark blue ice run beneath his skin, and fog breathed out of his lips as he began to shiver. I carefully touched his arm to wake him.
His skin was freezing, but under the touch of my balmy hand the ice faded. Frantically, I started to move my hands up and down his arms as I said his name over and over.
His back bowed up fiercely, nearly knocking me off the bed. To hold him still, I sat astride him, hoping the weight of my body, my hands fighting with this ice that was taking over him would wake him from whatever this was.
His breaths became deep and rapid; it was clear that the heat I was giving him and the ice that should not be there were at war.
All at once, the ice vanished and he lay still—too still. Desperately, I said his name as my hands rushed over his face. With a frantic jolt, he sat straight up in bed. Instead of being freaked out that I was across him, his arms wrapped around me and held me so tightly that I was sure he was seconds away from cracking a rib or two.
I held his head against my shoulder as I laced my fingers through his thick, dark hair. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
He caught his breath and looked up into my eyes. “South.”