Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad fear of Drake, it’s a good one. Just imagine having a crush on someone for nearly two decades, and then all of a sudden they know your name and show a vague interest. Now, that is petrifying. I clenched my waist again as I thought of him, as I thought of that burn he gave my soul; it was a good burn, one that even now, as damaged as I may be, I ached to feel more deeply. But I would be damned if I let him or anyone else know that.
“The question is why do I hate it. Maybe it’s because something dark and twisted knows that the weapon I need to end it is in saltwater.”
Aden moved his head from side to side as his eyes rained down on me. “Considering the planet is seventy percent water and we have recently been made aware of countless alternate dimensions, I would say that you need to let that thought go and fight what is in front of you. Work on healing.”
“I’m not sick.”
He clenched his fist as he leaned forward on his knees. “Emotions are your gift, your weapon. If you don’t have them, then you are sick on some supernatural level. We need to fix that.”
“I have emotions. I’m just lacking a few that seem to have gotten in my way.”
“Like?” he said with a firm stare.
“Fear, shock, anguish…grief.”
He nodded once, and I could swear I saw flashes of Drake in his mind. Aden wasn’t the matchmaker type, and he would not let anyone near me without harsh judgment, but he, like everyone else, thought that there was a reason I was drawn into Drake’s life, that I had a twin. That in some way that dark dimension was waiting for me. Right now, Aden was relieved that I was still capable of feeling compassion, maybe even love.
“Well, I guess that might be an improvement. Hours ago, we could not sit in traffic without you doubling over in pain.”
“And that sucked.”
“No doubt,” he said as he massaged his temples.
“You’re the one that is sick, with the wall knocked down in your head.”
Apparently, we have all had a lot of past lives, and some evil little Escort thought it would be best for Aden to remember his. I’m sure it was so that he and his brother would fight over Charlie, but evil underestimated the four of us. We don’t do love triangles or squares or any other twisted amorous deal. Aden’s twin may be a jealous soul, but he knows where Charlie’s devotion lies. So the knockdown in Aden’s mind didn’t do anything but give Aden more to think about.
“It wasn’t knocked down—barely a crack really, one that was supposed to twist us,” he said as anger flared in his eyes and I felt his energy stabbing my skin. It was no secret that my cousins were easy on the eyes, but their anger seemed to amplify everything that was addictive about them. God help anyone that stood between them and something they wanted or cared about.
“Aden, this is a crossroads. This is the point where we all go fight our own demons.”
“You’ve lost your mind,” he said under his breath, making it clear that he was not going anywhere.
“No, I haven’t. I know you’ve seen that light that is following Draven and Charlie around. They have protection now.”
He nodded once.
Both of us had been waiting for either Charlie or Draven to explain the ghost we could see following them, but they kept silent, which told me they knew what I was saying now to be true. “You’re haunted by something, too. All of us have something we need to fight,” I pushed.
“Maybe so, but whatever is tormenting me has not shown its face, so you are stuck with me, Maddie.”
“Madison.”
“Whatever.”
“Aden, you don’t need to be near me. I have no fear. That makes me dangerous. I plan to face my ultimate mystery, and that is going to lead me to hell’s gates.”
“I thought you figured out Britain was a loser?”
That should have hurt. I should be defensive or mad, but I’m not. I’m not because as far as I’m concerned, Britain is dead to me. In other words, Britain is my ex. We were seeing each other before I was coaxed into that search and rescue. I was gone for all of two days. I popped in on him because Charlie wanted to figure out what he knew about Bianca, the Escort that tried to hurt Aden, had taken Drake and Landen, and dared to seduce Draven, Aden’s twin. Yeah, we hate her.
The last thing I expected was to find Britain in bed with another girl.
Britain showed up a few months back. He was chasing Charlie, wanting the light of her soul for survival. Odd, I know, but anyway he is apparently a dark Escort that has to feed on light energy to reside in this world. If he gains enough energy, he plans to rule The Realm, the place where evil is bred.
He got over Charlie or figured out that, like I said before, we don’t do love triangles. He started hitting me up, calling, texting, showing up at odd hours. I admit that he intrigued me, that the first time I saw him I felt recognition. It was like I knew his energy—and not necessarily in a good way. But still, I wanted to explore that. Over the last few weeks, we had gotten close. I would even go so far as to say I was really starting to fall for the guy, even though he was not my type. Not much for blue eyes, blond hair, and athletic builds. I like them dark and mysterious.
Go figure, Aden and his brother were against me hooking up with Britain, but Charlie had my back, as always.
When Willow popped up out of nowhere, Britain did his best to convince me not to go. He told me I was a martyr, that it was too dangerous. That I should stay with him, that he would protect me. That what was going on was Charlie’s fight, not mine. Like I would have stayed behind for a boy I barely knew—let my best friends flee to another dimension. Seriously?
The moment I caught him cheating on me a few days ago flashed through my mind.
Charlie and I had manifested at the threshold of his bedroom door. I can still clearly remember how rich the aroma of vanilla and deep cinnamon was in the room; that was his classic scent, at least the way he always smelled to me. Before meeting him, my nose was normal. Boys smelled like boys, and ghosts smelled like nothing. Britain had awakened memories in my soul that I could not quite see or understand; I just felt them.
Britain was lying on his back on the far side of his king-size bed. Even though his eyes were closed, I knew he was awake, simply because I had never seen the boy sleep; it was almost like he didn’t have to.
His shirt was off, and the cascading candlelight shadowed each muscle in his broad chest. Next to him, lying on her side, casually draping her arm across him with closed eyes and an exhausted smile was Anna, a girl that changed boyfriends like they were underwear.
At that time, my insights had been put on some kind of supernatural steroids, so I felt everything on a physical level. The rage I felt then hurt so bad that it almost made me faint.
His steel blue eyes opened slowly, and I felt his relief to see me. He was a fool. I was prepared to kill him, and in my brief absence I had been taught to do just that—to use my energy as a weapon to lift, throw, shift, whatever—with nothing more than a thought directing my energy.
A glance from me tore the sheets off them. Anna stirred but didn’t wake.
“Anna,” Britain said calmly.
“Too tired, baby,” she mumbled.
I didn’t even have to think about it; my jealous emotions knocked her out of the bed and flat on her ass.
Right about then, she decided to play the classic role of trailer park trash girl.
“How nice of you to stop by,” Anna said with a fake yawn. “But I’m afraid we are not up for company.”
“Tell your whore to leave,” I seethed.
Britain’s dominant stare glistened with anticipation. “Anna, dear, my girlfriend wants you to leave my bed. Obey her.” His tone was enticing, echoing the allure his entire nature created. He was born to seduce light.
Not this light; not anymore.
Anna crawled seductively back onto the bed. “Not a chance, lover. This is my place now.”
“Now,” Britain growled.
/> Anna scurried away after turning about seven shades of crimson and realizing that once again she had been used for nothing more than pleasure. That girl was never going to learn that love was not physical.
Charlie said something cold and more than likely deeply intelligent to her before they both left the room, leaving me alone with Britain and the evidence of the ultimate sin he had committed. Of course, he didn’t see it as a sin; he saw it as away to get my attention.
That aroma of his, along with his energy, reached out for me, clearly claiming and embracing me as his own. Obviously, my energy struck him where he stood. I knew I had hit him hard enough to knock him across the room, but he didn’t even sway as he held my stare, leaving me to believe, like I had at first sight, that he was more powerful and dangerous than he had ever let on to anyone.
I had always been fast at seeing people. Britain was always oddly blank, only reflecting the present or images of me. That time, though, he let me see his night. He wanted me to see the dinner he and that girl shared, the wine, the dancing, her luring him into his bedroom.
He wanted me to see his essence reach out for hers and pull her energy into him, his real source of food, or so he thinks. I’m not so sure I believe what he says about his race of souls. All the pieces don’t add up.
It didn’t matter that he had not touched her, not so much as kissed her. She was still in his bed, a place that I hadn’t even been. He was dead to me at that moment, but I guess he thought he had a point to prove.
“Took you long enough,” Britain said, as if he were welcoming me home after a long trip.
“You could not be more right,” I said through clenched teeth. “I should have seen this coming. I should have listened to Draven.”
Draven had told me more than once, with Aden backing him up, that Britain was an addict. That he was addicted to energy and was using me to heed that craving. Of course, at the time I thought that my best friends were trying to hook me up with the fated king, Drake—the boy that should have been mine but decided to chase Willow Haywood instead.
I rebounded hard off Drake right into the cold arms of Britain, which is an odd thing to say considering that in this life I have known Drake for all of one week and Britain for the better part of six months. What can I say? Those dreams with Drake were more than lucid as far as I was concerned; they were really real—not the dark reality I lived in.
Britain tensed when he realized I had put a wall up, that I was not giving him the pleasure of seeing me break apart over him. I’m sure he thought he meant more to me than what I was portraying. Truth was, I was mad, furious, enraged, but not hurt. I was not broken into a thousand pieces, like I should be if I cared about him. Basically, I was humiliated.
“That’s not what I meant,” he mumbled humbly as he reached for his shirt and began to button it slowly, stopping halfway up, leaving the better part of his chest still exposed. “You feel me. You have felt my agony, my longing, and you didn’t come—you only came when you felt my anticipation, the way your nature stated you would.”
“Wasn’t my idea to come here,” I said flatly.
Which was the truth. It was Charlie’s bright idea to show up there. I admit I was looking forward to seeing him, that I was testing myself, testing my resolve. At that point, I had been face-to-face with Drake a few times, felt my soul losing control in his presence. I thought by seeing Britain that the natural born loyalty built into Scorpios would kick in and I would come to my senses and see that I had started something with Britain that deserved a chance to become something more.
I mean, hell, he may be dark, may have blinded Charlie, even tried to hook up with her, but he didn’t mistake me for another girl, so until that moment he still had a mark in the win column as far as I was concerned.
His eyes grew wide for an instant, as if my words had stung him. “So he’s bewitched you already? Hats off to him; it took him less than three days.”
One reason Britain and I got along so well was that we were both jealous souls, both obsessive over what had our attention. And I thought we were both loyal.
“I haven’t seen him.” That was a lie. I’d saved Drake’s life. I’d kissed him; well, he kissed me. We had even had our own little argument before those kids knocked me out, but that was beside the point. Right then, I was trying to make Britain look like the bastard in this situation.
“DON’T.” He halted, taking the growl out of his voice. “Lie to me. I saw you. I saw you talking to him under the night sky.”
My eyes narrowed as he spoke. The reason I had to be knocked out in the first place by those kids was that Bianca had mirrored one of Monroe’s brothers and followed us to Chara. She attacked us, but apparently before that she did a little recon work for Britain.
“Obviously, your spy neglected to supply you with dialogue, and if she did and you still acted this way, shame on you. This. This is over,” I swore.
“It’s over when I say it is,” he seethed.
That was exactly the wrong thing to say to me. “You have no control or claim over me. I was a means to an end. That’s clear now,” I said so calmly that you would have thought I was quitting a job, not a relationship.
“She was nourishment!” he yelled.
“Nourishment?” I said mockingly. “If Willow’s power is fading that quickly within your system, then I suggest you accept the grave because there is no hope for you.”
While I was searching for Willow’s beloved, Landen, along with Drake in The Realm, Britain had tried to stop Willow himself. He was convinced that she was using me as a martyr. Of course, as soon as Willow fed this addict he backed away.
I could see him questioning how I knew that had happened, if I had developed a friendship with Willow, but I hadn’t. I’m just obsessive. I took in everything that Draven had seen on his side of that fight. I admit, it ticked me off that Britain was that easily controlled. Weak men are really not my type.
“You, you are my hope.”
That was always his line. He’d told me that a thousand times over. Apparently, in some past life I killed Escorts; some things never change. But I couldn’t kill him. Something stopped me then, and it stopped me in this life, too. What that something is, I don’t know. But according to Britain, we were meant to be. If I stayed at his side he could control his addiction and help me end all those that hurt others—all the ‘misguided’ Escorts.
“No,” I said flatly. I never agreed with that line, and I wasn’t going to buy it now.
“Listen to me.” He stepped forward, but I threw my energy up into a wall between us, not letting him get close to me.
Britain let out a gasp. “Willow’s energy is not what I want. All I have ever wanted was your energy, and I plan to do what I have to in order to make that a reality.”
Yeah, right. I’m sure he said something fairly similar to Charlie when he was after her. He was a player. I guess it was time to show him that in order to play the game the right way, he would have to find a fool—and a fool is something that I am not. “So your excuse for seducing another woman is because you had to—to help me. Save it for the next fool you find,” I said with a sarcastic grin.
He had lost his ever-loving mind if he thought I was going to fall for that line. That is like a boy hitting you and telling you it will never happen again and buying you a present or something. Whatever.
“All I have ever wanted on this plane of existence is you.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
His steel blue eyes narrowed as he looked at me, clearly judging my words.
“What were you told?” he finally said, which led me to believe that he had a few secrets of his own and that he was trying to figure out what line from his playbook to use on me next. Oddly, the rage I felt in him then caused fear to swell in my soul, not for myself, but for Drake. I went with my gut instinct and lied to him.
“Nothing. No one has ever bothered to reveal my past to me, and that is a shame because now I will n
ever understand this odd pull I had to you.”
The anger in his emotion faded, and on the inside I sighed. It’s not that I didn’t think that Drake could handle Britain; I just knew that no one needed that drama, that and of course my gut was screaming at me to shut my mouth and not let Britain in on any of my wandering thoughts.
“The fact that you felt a pull to me should be all the answer you need.”
The first time I saw Britain, we stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. I’m sure on the outside it looked like I was spellbound by him, but in reality I was trying to figure out why every ounce of my essence was telling me to end him, that I would have to one day, that I needed to bide my time and play the part of the fool until I figured out why.
As the days went by, that feeling never really went away, but my obsessiveness pulled me closer to him. At one time, he had me convinced that in the past I tried to kill him but my heart would not let me, that he knew that meant that we were fated, enemies that could come together as one and change the course of the world. I never completely bought that, but I felt relieved that he had admitted that I had gone head-to-head with him before.
“You know me better than that. I need facts. I need proof. And you have decided to let your actions speak louder than your evasive explanations.”
“You’re too mad to understand this,” he said, glancing away. “What was I supposed to do, Madison? I can’t go to Chara; it’s forbidden unless you are wanted. Tell me exactly what was I supposed to do? Wait here? Wait for him to break your heart and you to run back? Or worse, wait for Charlie to get you killed? I will use any stepping stone I have to in order to get to you. Remember that for as long as you live, for I will always be your shadow, that thought that whispers, ‘What if…’”
He let his words sting the tense air around me before he began again.
“If he ever holds you, you will smother under his way of life, under his dominance, under the reality that you are nothing more than a replacement, a substitute in this life. You will know that he is yearning for the next life, the one he will have with her, all the while knowing I would have held you without hesitation or pause, without thinking of a girl who looks just—like—you.”