“I killed your brother.”
“No, you killed Deorad’s son. He’s nothing to me, and he was nothing to Scarlet. But if you accept one of us as family, you’ll be forced to take us all. Do you really want a man like that to claim a family connection with your child?”
I punched his arm and hurt my knuckles. “You’re good at managing me without making me want to spit in your eye. If it wasn’t tempting fate to marry yet another relative of Scarlet’s, I’d think about making you marry me just to spite everyone else, Rumble.”
He let out a surprised laugh. “Only if you wanted me to die young, my lady.”
“There’s that, too.” I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I’ve let everything go too far. And right now, I’m too weak to be angry, so job well done, Mr. Bodyguard.”
“Good. Take a bath, and then go to sleep. You’ll need your rest. Tomorrow is a busy day.”
“You should take the night off then. I think everyone’s too upset to try and assassinate me tonight.”
After my bath, I managed to grab a few minutes alone, so I took a bag of human possessions and headed up to the empty mirror room. The mirror was gone again, but Bart was sitting in the centre of the room.
“That was some display earlier,” he commented.
“Go away, Bart,” I said wearily. “I’m not in the mood for riddles or games.”
He stood then bowed low. “Of course. What are your plans for this room, may I ask?”
“It’s for me. Nobody is to come up here, including you.”
“I see. Well, have a nice evening. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.”
When he left, I sat on the floor and took out a notebook and pen. Hitting things had gotten rid of the anger, but the sorrow was left behind with nothing to distract me from it. Maybe writing would help. I could turn the room into a kind of hall of shame, noting all of our mistakes, even mine.
Decided, I sat in the corner and wrote until my hand grew too tired. I wrote about the things that scared me and upset me and stressed me out. And I felt as though I'd released some of the bad feelings by the time I was finished.
I rolled up my sleeve and looked at the darkness in my veins, the way it had spread. Had my actions helped to spread it, or had the increasing darkness caused my actions? Maybe I would never know. A sound drew my attention, but it was only Bekind. The black cat jumped into my lap and let me cuddle her. Her purrs somehow calmed me, and I felt ready to sleep, hoping that the morning would bring us a better day.
Chapter Nine
Early the next morning, I addressed a subdued court. Even my old friends were on edge after my actions the previous day, so I made them remain with Scarlet while I spoke. There was an air of uneasiness that I needed to dispel before the guests arrived and a fear of my royal power to reinforce.
The realisation had come to me that I couldn’t change the fae—instead, they had changed me. I was turning into a terrible person, and it had begun with Deorad’s death. But if the fae feared me, Scarlet and I would be able to remain long enough for them to love her, and she could change them.
“We need to clear up a few things,” I said before the crowd. “Yesterday was a day I don’t want to repeat. So don’t force me to repeat it.”
A few gasps of consternation followed, which I cut short with one decisive glare.
“If you want to stay with this court, there are rules you have to follow. You don’t hurt each other or anyone else… without permission. If we’re in a war, we fight. But turning on each other is the worst crime you can commit. Especially now, when two courts are on their way to inspect us.”
I strode in front of them, catching the gaze of as many fae as possible. All or nothing. “We must wear our best faces if we don’t want the other courts to think we’re the waste of time they’ve always assumed us to be. This isn’t just about me. This is when they decide if we’re worth life. If you don’t understand that, then listen well, because this week will be the judgement of us all. Swear fealty or don’t, but never give them a chance to write you off. Yesterday happened in the presence of emissaries. Believe me when I say that it won’t go unnoticed. We can’t make another mistake like that. We have to show how worthy we are, and if we’re going to fix this blight, then we have to work together with each other and with the other courts. That’s my priority once the ceremony is over. We can’t save the realm alone. Consider everything I’ve said. If you’re still here tonight, then I’ll assume you accept the rules set before you today. Now go. Impress them all.”
I left the room abruptly to meet with Vix and Bekind. “I have to get ready,” I said as we walked toward the baths. “But remember what I said about recruitment. They need to be intelligent and charming but, most of all, loyal and capable of defending themselves. And discretion is key.”
“Don’t worry,” Vix drawled. “The numbers will grow. Our secret weapons will be ready when you need them.”
The sound of horse hooves had us all rushing to the closest window. “Already?” I squeaked. “I’m not even close to being ready.”
“Relax,” Bekind said. “They can’t see you until the ceremony, and you’ve plenty of time to get ready for that.” She squeezed my hand. “We’ve made it perfect.”
We had so many plans for the celebrations, but I had ignored the elephant in the room: the ceremony itself. I hadn’t considered what it would take to go through with it, and what would happen if it went wrong and the Darksiders turned on me.
“Have I done enough? Will they behave?” I asked Vix urgently.
“Stop worrying. Everyone’s terrified to make a wrong move after that little display last night.” She made a face. “We really hate crying, you know.”
“Good. I’ll always hold that over your heads. Oh, God, I’m so nervous. I might throw up.”
“Because of the ceremony or the kings?” Bekind asked slyly.
“Quiet, you.” But at least she had made me smile.
We hurried to my tower room to fetch Líle and Scarlet. Grim and Realtín were already in their newly assigned room in the designated Green Court section of the castle, waiting for their peers to show up. I knew I wouldn’t manage to grab another moment alone that day.
I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop—for some repercussion to occur—but everyone was too busy preparing for the ceremony to react to what I had done only a day before.
After bathing, I finally let some of the fae help me prepare. I would never manage the stupid corset on my own. I watched as Scarlet splashed in the water with a few servants, a huge smile on her face. That was what I had to remember. It was all for her. I wished Rat could have seen it. I could just imagine the wonder in her eyes as she took in the excitement of the day.
“Hold your breath,” the seamstress ordered.
“I’d like to be able to breathe today.”
“It’s the one day.” With a grunt, she yanked the strings of the corset tight. “You can change after the ceremony, but you must look your best this afternoon. The ceremony will name you as one of us, as a worthy ruler, so you had better look the part, young lady.”
I laughed at her tone then sucked in my breath, groaning as the cords tightened.
“There. That’s lovely now.” She patted my backside. “You might even catch yourself a nice new husband.”
“Are you trying to ruin my day?”
Ignoring me, she prattled on. “And the weather’s fine, too. It’s a good sign. A great sign.”
I glanced at the window. The storm clouds were gone, and the burning smell scarcely lingered in the air. I looked down at the dress. It was black, and heavy with layers, but the fabric was as translucent as a faery wing. The dress had no sleeves, so not only could people see my newly extended black veins, they would also see the green-and-silver bracelet I refused to remove. That might have been a mistake as well. In fact, the entire day was probably a mistake.
I anxiously scratched the inside of my forearm.
“Stay calm,” Bekin
d said as a female faery brushed out her long golden hair. Bekind sat cross-legged in a chair, completely relaxed. As my ancestor, she was a part of the ceremony and had to be human and wear clothes for a change.
“I’m feeling the exact opposite of calm right now.” I blew my fringe off my face. “It’s the corset. It’s too tight. I’ll pass out in front of everybody then die of shame.”
“The dress is fine, and if you pass out, you’ll get back up and keep walking. This is happening, Cara. It’s too late to back out now.”
I made a yelp of alarm.
“I’ll be right behind you with Scarlet,” she said soothingly. “Everyone will be there.”
That meant everyone except Zoe or my grandparents or even my mother. I touched my bare neck and thought of my brother. If he had lived, what would he think of his little sister now?
The seamstress added some sparkle to Bekind’s hair, making it shine under the light from the window. “You look beautiful, Bek,” I said in awe.
“Someone fetch my great-great-great-whatever-granddaughter a mirror, please,” Bekind said, and there was affection in her eyes. “You look like a queen.”
I patted the back of my hair and posed. “Yeah, well, somebody has to.” The pins holding up my complicated updo were already feeling stabby.
“The real star is the child,” the seamstress said. “All that hair at her age, and she sits so nicely in her dress.
My daughter was looking very pleased with herself in her fancy new gown. The fae had curled her hair, and its silver patch looked like a decoration. Her large violet eyes gazed at everything in wonder. If only she had any idea of what I was getting us both into.
There was a knock at the door. “It’s time,” said Vix. “They’re all waiting.”
I swallowed hard, unable to force my feet to move.
“Get Rumble to carry her,” Bekind said nastily. “That’ll get her moving.”
“Oh, shut up. I’m allowed to be nervous.”
“You have nothing to be nervous about,” Bekind said fiercely. “Nothing at all.”
Easy for the immortal cat to say.
I stepped out of the room, trying to get used to the size of the skirt. Bekind followed, carrying Scarlet. Both wore black to signify their court.
“The shawl!” the seamstress cried. She ran after me to wrap a white shawl around me. “When you get to take this off, you really will be our queen. Now, good luck to you.”
I took a calming breath then started the walk downstairs. Fae lined the stairwell, waiting for me. As I passed, they clapped. I kept my eyes straight ahead, focusing on walking without tumbling down the stairs. Scarlet giggled behind me, and the fae cooed over her. The dogs raced up and down the hallway as I headed for the main doors.
I stepped outside and took another deep breath.
“This is your time,” Bekind whispered. “Don’t be afraid, Cara.”
“I can’t help it.”
Inside, I was panicking, and I was sure it was starting to show. Scores of faeries were waiting outside. I tried to find a familiar face but couldn’t.
Beyond the crowds, a marquee had been set up. I was supposed to walk through everyone to get my crown. I reached the carpet that had been rolled out and froze to the spot. What was I doing? I was a human. I didn’t know how to manage a kingdom. It was a dream, and it had turned into a nightmare.
Despite Bekind’s urging, I couldn’t bring myself to step onto the carpet. If I had been fae, the men in my family would have escorted me. But I had no one, and I wasn’t sure how to take the first step.
Brendan came out of nowhere and took my arm. “You can do this,” he murmured. “You can’t stop now.”
“I killed a man yesterday,” I said, blinking to stop the tears from falling. “Rat is dead, and I killed the man who hurt her myself.”
“We’ll talk about it later,” he promised.
“I won’t make a good queen.”
He looked down on me and smiled, the good smile that made it seem as if everything would be okay. “Yes, you will. True chaos will come if you walk away now. We need you to keep the Darksiders together. Drake and I need you to keep us in line, too.”
I gazed at him. “You’re mad at me though.”
“It doesn’t matter today. This is what the realm needs right now. This is what will be done.”
“What if I screw it all up?”
“You won’t. May I escort you?”
I inhaled sharply. “Yes, please.”
“Then we should start walking. Today, preferably.”
I bit back my smile as Drake approached. But his features were free of the haughtiness he liked to project, and his violet eyes were warm and encouraging. He greeted me with a rare true smile, and it might have been Scarlet smiling back at me. “Come on,” he said, taking my other arm. “Let’s give the Darksiders their queen.”
I gave him a grateful look. I hadn’t expected help from either of them, but if they hadn’t been by my side, I might not have been able to keep going.
“Everything is going to be fine,” Drake said. “It will all work out.”
I didn’t try to work out what it meant exactly, but my feet began to move. Fae stood as we passed them by, and I sensed approval in the air. The kings had given me their blessing when it counted. I could make it to the marquee. I gripped onto my friends as tightly as I dared as we walked, and before we reached the marquee, they slipped away to take their seats with their own subjects. I had to walk the rest of the way alone, but I was okay by that point. Brendan was right. There couldn’t be any more upheaval. We couldn’t afford it. We had a lot to fix.
Scarlet laughed again. I looked over my shoulder to see Bekind making faces at her. Smiling, I faced forward and finally stepped into the marquee. I recognised maybe one or two faces out of the twelve fae lined up in front of me. They were there to judge me, but they had been the ones who'd deemed Sadler worthy of his crown.
The hedge-witch was first.
“You care for Brighid’s grotto,” I said quickly under my breath. “Did the First Tree grow there?”
She made a sound of amusement. “Even I’m not so old as to remember that.” She cut a branch from her hair and handed it to me. She smiled at Scarlet then nodded at me. “Good breeding.”
I bit back a not-so-pleasant comment and moved on to the next fae. He turned his back on me. Grim had warned me it might be so. All I needed was for the majority of them to give their blessing.
Brendan had gone through an ordeal to become king, but Scarlet was blameless for my actions. As I would only be regent—a pliable one, many fae assumed—and none other had decided to stand against Scarlet, we could bypass the usual trials. I didn’t think I would have managed otherwise.
I moved down the line. A tiny faery woman handed me a thimbleful of water, but her eyes were on Scarlet. In fact, everyone was more interested in my daughter than me, and that was a good thing. I was a means to an end, and most fae were grateful to be rid of Sadler after his threats against the realm. Still, if they knew more about me, they might not be so keen to accept my child.
Bekind had to help me carry the fae blessings. The next male faery handed me a thick, white candle. As he brushed against my fingers, the candle lit, and he nodded and let go. Next to him stood what looked like a child. She held out her palm to show me a flower. When I took it in my hand, she gripped my wrist to hold me still. The flower bloomed. She let me go without a word.
The next faery was a young woman with grave eyes, and hair that resembled a huge puff of orange candy floss. She studied me for a long time before cupping my face with her hand. She leaned in and surprised me with a long kiss. The kiss didn’t end until the hedge-witch cleared her throat. The woman pulled away and kissed the top of my nose with a gleeful laugh.
I realised that no one was breathing. “What’s the matter?” I couldn’t help asking.
“We’re waiting to see if she poisoned you or not,” the next faery said, and he held
out a golden coin. “Here—while we’re waiting.”
“Thank you. I’m feeling okay though.”
“By the Goddess, why would I poison a queen who can kiss like that?” asked the faery with the cotton-candy hair.
The one with the coin rolled his eyes and shooed me down the line. More faeries turned their backs on me, and one even spat on the ground. But the last one gazed at me, her green-tinged face cocked to the side. “I’m the one who tells the secrets that wish to be heard. But as soon as they’re spoken, the words are forgotten. Shall I tell you a secret?”
“Yes, please,” I said.
She leaned in close and whispered, “Three kings prayed to three deities, and so a dying child survived.”
Flustered, I moved to the end of the line so that Scarlet and I could complete the ceremony. The vote had been seven to five. We could proceed.
Bekind helped me remember the steps. She tied a black ribbon that joined my hand with Scarlet’s. I kissed Scarlet’s cheek and then, on a whim, kissed Bekind’s, too. “May your people love you.” I placed the coin in Scarlet’s pocket and said, “May your people be rich in the things they need.” I pinned the flower into her hair. “May your lands grow in abundance.” I whispered the secret into her ear and forgot the words as soon as I had spoken them.
“My mouth will speak for yours. My hands will toil for yours. My mind will think for yours. My actions will perform for yours. And when your time comes, I will stand back and let you soar.” I broke the branch in half and gave the larger piece to Scarlet. Unsurprisingly, she tried to chew on it.
Bekind used the candle to light the ribbon. As soon as it began to burn, she used the thimble to douse the flame. “May the elements be at your will.”
She led us to our seats. I sat next to Scarlet and waited. Bekind laid my old black crown on my head. She laid a crown made of black roses and Brighid’s flowers on Scarlet’s head. A gust of wind blew against us, but the crowns remained in place, and the crowd breathed a sigh of relief. The gods didn’t object, either.