I thought of Brendan with the sword and shook my head. “You can hold on to it.” I blinked a couple of times, unsettled by the intensity in his violet eyes. “I trust you to take good care of it.”
A breath rushed out of him, and I realised he was relieved.
“You believe me,” he said. “You understand the things I did.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever understand everything, Drake. But I don’t think you’re going to gather the treasures and become a faery dictator, either.”
“I’ll take it when the rift is closed. You’ll be on Dubh. If anything happens, at least you’ll be able to get away with the stone. For now, that’s more important than anything else.”
“Then you’ll have it when we’re done. Take good care of it.”
His smile was wistful. “Thank you. Not for the stone—for not hating me.”
I felt sick. “As soon as we go back, you’ll be the same again. Worse, even. And if you have a child with Sorcha…”
“Scarlet won’t be in danger,” he said firmly. “I promise you.”
Faery promises meant nothing and everything. “Let’s go. I need to hold my baby.”
But as we travelled away from Tara, out of Meath, and back to Dublin, something bugged me. The sword didn’t reveal itself until Brendan and I were both holding it. The stone didn’t reveal itself until Drake and I were both touching it. And the spear hadn’t revealed itself to me at all. Did that mean we had to wait until the thing was ready to show itself, or that we needed two of us to unleash the power? If the latter was the case, perhaps that meant Drake and I were true royals, and even the legendary treasures accepted us as well as Brendan.
***
I ran to my grandparents’ front door, leaving the others to catch up. It opened before I even reached it. Arms welcomed me inside, and the hounds nibbled excitedly at my ankles, but I only had eyes for one: Scarlet. She was bigger already, and her hair had even lengthened. How long would I be away from her? I held her close to me, ignoring her struggles to get onto her feet and walk. I inhaled her scent and felt I was home because home was wherever she was.
“I’m sorry. I need a few minutes with her. I’ll be back.” I ran upstairs and let the others deal with the storytelling. I just wanted a few selfish moments with my baby—that was all. I sat on my old bed and just looked at her for a moment. The teardrop in her eye hadn’t changed, and her readiness to smile hadn’t lessened. She babbled something that sounded like real words, and I knew that the next time I saw her, she would be a completely different child.
“I’m doing this for you,” I whispered as she tried to take my dagger out. I took her hand and kissed her fingers. She laughed and threw herself at me. She loved everyone, and I wasn’t sure sometimes if she loved me any better than anyone else, but I didn’t care. I only had eyes for her.
A soft knock at the door came a few minutes later. “Come in,” I said, annoyed.
To my surprise, Drake walked in. I sat up straighter.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Can I just… can I just watch her?”
I held on to her, shielding her from the pain he would bring her, and then realised that wasn’t fair. I moved aside and gestured for him to sit. At first, he sat at the edge of the bed, but then he inched closer.
“Let her see your wings,” I said, trying not to smile. “She likes wings.”
He smiled. “Like mother, like daughter.” He knelt on the bed and released his cloak. His wings sprang to life, glittering in the dull light. Scarlet's eyes immediately locked on to the pretty sparkling, and she tried to grab him. I caught her hand just in time.
“Softly,” I said. “Be gentle. There, there.” I showed her how to touch them without damaging them. She copied me as best she could, and when I looked up at Drake, he had tears in his eyes. “Are you okay?” I asked, feeling a lump in my own throat.
He shook his head, still kneeling there, frozen to the spot. He looked so lost and overwhelmed that I felt sorry for him.
I moved onto my knees, lifting Scarlet into my arms. She was too fascinated by the rapidly moving wings to protest. “Do you want to hold her?” I asked, even though it felt like cutting out my heart and handing it to him.
He nodded although he seemed unsure. I held her out to him, but he wrapped his arms around both of us and just held us to him. Tears filled my eyes as he spoke in the most heart-wrenching voice I had ever heard. “She was right. The witch of the blackthorns knew me better than I knew myself. The symptoms, not the cause.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I stayed silent.
“I really wanted a family,” he admitted. “Unconditional love and trust… but I thought I wanted to kill those who took it from me. I thought revenge would make the pain go away. I didn’t realise that I made my own family, and I gave it away.” He trembled with emotion. “She’ll never call me father. She’ll never be proud of me or look up to me or even respect me.”
“You don’t know how she’ll feel. She might be better at understanding than I am.”
“I thought I was doing right by you, but I’ve made the worst mistakes, haven’t I?”
“It’s done now,” I said gently, actually able to move past the anger. “We never really knew each other. It couldn’t have worked. I know that now.”
“The king can’t love her,” he said, his voice shaking. “The king can’t love either of you.”
“We love each other enough. We don’t need a king to take care of us.”
“I’ve never seen anything like her. And if I favour her, others will use her to hurt me.” He let out a harsh laugh. “What kind of child will a banshee give me? Not one who smiles but one who brings death. How can I love a creature like that?”
“Don’t say that.” I pulled away. “You can’t blame children for the mistakes of their parents.”
“That’s what happened to you,” he said dully.
“Forget that. You can’t be that person, either. You’ll love any child Sorcha has.”
“What if I can’t? What if I only want this one?”
His words were scaring me. “You can always see Scarlet,” I said. “I won’t stop you from getting to know her. I won’t ever ask you to keep away. That’ll be her decision to make when she’s old enough. I want what’s best for her, and I know what it’s like to not understand where we come from. You do, too.”
“I thought you didn’t want me to have a child with Sorcha because you loved me. But I was wrong. You don’t want me to replace Scarlet.”
“You won’t do that,” I said firmly. “And I already love her enough for the two of us, so she won’t be missing out even if you aren’t there for her. Just don’t make her promises you can’t keep.”
He nodded and let go of me to wipe his face dry. “No wonder we think love is weakness,” he said unhappily.
“You can change things. Look how much we’ve already changed in the last couple of years. If you can’t be her dad, then maybe you can be her friend someday.”
“And you? Can I be your friend someday?”
I had gone through so much that I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to lose any more friends, and I knew he couldn’t make any promises, but that was okay. I couldn’t promise him anything, either. But maybe between us, we could give Scarlet what she needed.
***
We headed back downstairs. I hugged my grandparents then Bekind and finally turned to Zoe. “I’m glad you’re here.”
She made a face at Bekind. “Yeah, I’m glad you’re here, too. Something happened.”
“What’s wrong?”
Vix made a sound of disgust. “That fae you sent to us ran away, leaving her baby behind.”
“What? Marie left the child? Here?”
“Stop it,” Zoe said to Vix. “You know as well as I do that she was terrified.”
“Terrified? Of what?” I asked.
“Fiadh, of course,” Vix said. “She thinks the child is safer under your care.”
r /> “Where’s the baby?”
“Here.” Líle came into the living room and handed the child to me.
She was so light, so small, and the taint had gripped her thoroughly. Her eyes were dull grey, and her hair was almost as dark as Scarlet’s. “Poor thing,” I said. “I don’t know why Marie’s so scared. Is postnatal depression a thing for faeries?”
Vix rolled her eyes. “Are you being purposely foolish?”
“Vix,” Rumble warned, “watch your mouth.”
“But she doesn’t get it,” Vix complained. She looked at me. “Where’s Fiadh now?”
I frowned. “At court? Or taking back her land.”
“And how do you think she’s going to do that?” Vix asked.
“Glic is dead. It won’t take much.” I rocked the baby in my arms. “She just needs to show up.”
“Show up.” Vix snorted. “And what about all of those children of Glic, the ones with claims on Setanta’s heritage?”
“It’s Fiadh’s home.”
“Was Fiadh’s home,” Bekind added. “Sadler gave it to Glic. Any one of his children could make claim to it.”
I held the baby a little tighter. “What are you saying?”
Vix looked exasperated. “She’s gone to kill them all. Every one of them. That’s why Marie ran. She’ll die, too.”
“She thought the child would be safe here and that Fiadh wouldn’t think to look here for a child of Glic—for a contender to what should be her son’s,” Bekind said gently.
“She wouldn’t kill a baby,” I said. “She’s a mother.”
“She’s a Darksider,” Drake said.
“She’s a faery,” Bekind said.
Vix shot both of them a dirty look. “She’s a noble.”
My insides roiled. “We have to stop her. Why didn’t I see this?”
Dymphna shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I admit, I didn’t think Fiadh capable of killing babies, but looking back, I see how she would go down this path.”
“It’s too late to stop her,” Rumble said. “She was already planning to leave when I left the court.”
I sank into a chair, still staring at the child in my arms. “We can’t let her kill this child then. If I’m too late for the others, I can still save this one.”
“She might die anyway,” Vix said brusquely.
“Do you ever shut up?” I snapped.
“She’s been ill,” Bekind explained. “Her legs trouble her, the Miacha have said.”
“Can they help her?” I demanded.
“Only so far,” Bekind said.
“Scarlet helps her,” Zoe said. “She’s happier when Scarlet’s nearby. It’s like… she forgets the pain or something.”
“Right.” Of course Scarlet helped her. Scarlet helped everyone. My baby was the freaking miracle cure. And this baby would die if we didn’t help her. “There’s only one thing for it then.”
“What’s that?” Líle asked.
“I’m just going to have to make this baby my daughter, too.”
“Cara,” Zoe exclaimed. “You can’t just go around picking up stray children.”
“You said it yourself. Scarlet makes her better. She can be her playmate, her companion, and if she’s mine, Fiadh won’t dare touch her.”
“That’s a wonderful idea, my dear,” Gran said. “But are you sure you want to look after another baby?”
I gazed down at the weakly child in my arms. She wasn’t pretty or endearing like Scarlet. There was nothing easy and loveable about her. And that brought out a protective instinct in me. Nobody else would love this child, so I was determined to. For better or worse, if I wanted to teach the Darksiders how to behave, I had to lead by example.
“I’m keeping her,” I said, “until Marie comes back for her, and then we’ll see what happens.”
“She doesn’t even have a name,” Vix scoffed.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t give her one.” I pursed my lips. “Marie talked about the name Liliana, so we’ll call her that. As soon as I come back, I’ll sort everything out.”
“We should go,” Drake said.
“At least stay for dinner,” Gran said pleadingly.
I looked at Drake, and he shrugged. “An hour or two won’t hurt.”
Setanta was napping, and Dymphna spent some time alone with Eithne. I managed to grab a few minutes with Zoe, Bekind, and my grandparents in the kitchen. I sat on a chair, Scarlet on my knee and the newly named Liliana in one arm. The hounds lay at my feet, uncomfortably heavy. They had definitely been fed in my absence.
I sighed at how comfortable I felt with two children in my arms. “This got strange quick.”
“I take it that’s Scarlet’s father out there,” Gran said.
I nodded, suddenly exhausted.
“I can tell him to leave,” Granddad said.
“It’s okay. I’m all right with him being here. I can handle that at least.”
We caught each other up on what we had missed.
“No trouble here, thank God,” Zoe said. “Scarlet’s been good as always, but little Eithne is the ringleader. She’s the troublemaker.”
I laughed. The normality of it all was so comforting.
“You’re really going to keep that baby?” Zoe asked. “She cries a lot, you know.”
“Babies tend to,” I said dryly.
“Scarlet didn’t,” she retorted.
“Scarlet will always have people who love her.” I held Zoe’s gaze. “This one needs all the help she can get.”
“I feel bad for her,” Zoe admitted. “But it still seems strange to just take her in.”
“What else am I going to do? It’s just until I can sort out this situation with Fiadh and Marie.” I just had to figure out how.
Before long, we were all squashed around the kitchen table for a shared dinner.
Líle looked at me. “You said you left with Brendan and Bran. Where are they now?”
I tried not to frown. “They've gone across the sea. With Yvette. On her boat.”
Líle gave me a curious look. “Across the sea is not the usual honeymoon destination.”
“Yeah, well, life’s gone a bit crazy. We heard the First Tree might be there, so he’s going, and he’s not coming back until he finds it. I think that means a brownie might be in charge of the realm for a while.”
To my surprise, Bekind laughed aloud.
“What?” I asked.
She shook her head, but she had to wipe tears from her eyes. “Nothing, nothing. Carry on.”
“Anyway,” I said with a scowl, “we have to go to the Fade again and see if we can figure this stone out.”
“If it works, will the realm be fixed?” Anya asked.
Dymphna wrapped her arm around her daughter. “Let’s hope it goes a ways to healing the land.”
“At the very least, it could prevent more of the blight from spreading,” Drake said. “But we’ll need the trees to clear the existing blight.”
“And then what?” Gran asked. “Does everything go back to normal?”
“Likely not,” Rumble said.
I went to the sink to pour out a glass of water. I was starting to worry that the stone wouldn’t work on the rift without Brendan.
A hand on my shoulder startled me—Bekind. She led me out of the kitchen and away from the others. “You’re upset because he’s gone,” she said in a scolding tone.
“What? No! I’m just… worried.”
She cupped my cheek, and I could see she worried for me. “There was a time when I thought he would be good for you—the big, brash king, as you called him. But you chose Drake, and you let yourself get heartbroken. I’ve watched you suffer all this time. I’ve watched a piece of you that came to life on the very night you realised the fae were real wither and die because you learned that there are no happy endings. Don’t let another one do the same to you. Don’t let yourself be crushed when you see him with a wife by his side.”
I blinked back sud
den tears. “There are more important things going on right now, Bekind.”
“I know,” she said softly. “But you and your precious girl are the most important things to me. I love you both, and I don’t want you to feel any more pain because of me.”
“How is it because of you?” I was astonished that she was talking about love in that tone of voice.
“I let them take you. I wanted them to take you. I wanted there to be a child. I needed you to be a part of that world. And I regret it. I’ve put you in so much danger. After Sadler, I thought you would never smile again, but you did, and you got back on your feet, and you hardened yourself. Now, after a short time with Brendan, he has broken through again. In another life, it would be meant to be, I think. But in this life, it can only bring trouble if he’s supposed to marry someone else.”
“I haven’t gone near Drake,” I said. “I let him go. Why wouldn’t I do the same with Brendan?”
She gave me a knowing smile. “As much as people like to forget, those two were never the same. Not even close. You have to remember that she is intent on marrying him, and if she’s with him, away from home, then she will do everything she can to keep him. As soon as he stepped onto that boat, he was gone.”
I swallowed hard. “I know, Bekind. I don’t want anything from him or anyone.”
“You tell me that, but we both know it’s a lie. Give yourself time. There’s so much to see in the world. You don’t have to set your heart on any one thing or person or place. You can travel with Scarlet and me. When the land is healed, there’ll be so much to see.”
“Are you scared I’ll leave you or something?” I said, trying to tease but coming off harsh.
“Yes. But you’re so young, and you haven’t had peace ever in your life. You’re going to live a long time in the faery realm, and you’ll need to find your place in both worlds when this is over—your place and Scarlet’s. Find you before you give your heart away completely.”
I was able to smile then. “I’ve given it away completely already. To her. To Scarlet.”
She bit her lip. “Everyone needs a different kind of comfort sometimes. I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you when things get hard. When Scarlet’s father claims another woman’s child, and Brendan’s not there to dry your eyes, you should know you have me and so many others.”