“Home.” I nodded. That made sense. I guess. Then I remembered and my face fell. “Iz…she’s gone.”
Toni’s face softened and she moved closer.
That made it okay, right?
Chapter 3
Toni
The last thing I expected at nearly three a.m. was to have somebody banging on my door.
No. Correction.
The last thing I expected at nearly three a.m. was to have Ashford Lang knocking on my door, drunk off his ass. Once I managed to get his drunk ass over to my couch, I saw that his knuckles were busted up.
At some point, he’d hit somebody. I really hoped it wasn't someone who was going to press charges. That was the last thing he needed at the moment.
Sighing, I pushed his hair back from his face. “What in the hell am I supposed to do with you?” I murmured. It was a rhetorical question. He wasn't even close to coherent enough to answer.
Besides, common sense already told me what I should do.
I should call a cab and send Mr. Lang back home. At the most generous, I should call the emergency number for Doug that Isadora gave me and have him come get his boss.
I didn’t listen.
Forty minutes later, I was practically drowning him in water, tomato juice and a little extra something I learned helped replace the lost electrolytes and helped beat a hangover. Well, I hadn't technically learned it. Aside from all of the tips pre-med and psych students exchanged, I'd had years of watching my four older brothers come home drunk and not wanting our parents to know. I'd paid attention.
The good news was that Ash was getting my expertise before he reached the hangover stage.
The bad news was that I didn't think he appreciated it.
When I started to lift his head to take another glass of water, he caught my wrist and opened a pair of eyes so green, they shouldn’t have been permitted by nature. The fact that they were blood-shot just made the green stand out more.
“You need the water,” I told him, using my best stern sister voice.
In a surprisingly clear voice, he said, “Haven’t you shoved a swimming pool full of it down my throat already?”
I smiled sweetly. “No. Only a wading pool. Now drink.”
To my surprise, he obliged, and then accepted the ibuprofen I gave him.
But the second he sat up, it was damn clear he still wasn’t sober. He swayed a little and I braced myself. If I had to catch him, we’d both go down. I was strong, but there was no way I could handle that much dead weight.
“Just how much have you had to drink?” I asked him.
He squinted at me.
I was almost amused. “Do I need to rephrase the question?”
“No.” He spoke with the clear, careful enunciation of a man who was drunk enough to know he was drunk, but was trying to pretend otherwise. “I’m trying to remember the exact amount. I lost count after the second bar.”
I sighed. “You idiot.” I nodded at his hand. “You hit somebody.”
“Those keen powers of observation will serve you well when you're shrinking people.”
He flexed his hand, frowning down at his scraped knuckles as if he’d never seen his own hand before. In that moment, he looked so lost that I reached out, unable to stop myself, and stroked his hair.
At the exact same moment, he looked up and caught my wrist, our gazes connecting. His thumb stroked over the inside and my pulse leaped in response. Heavy, thick lashes drooped, but not before I saw his pupils flare with desire.
Memories of the heated moments we’d shared surged to life, and I could feel that fire arcing between us. He tugged me closer, reaching up with his free hand to cup my cheek. He stroked his thumb over my lip.
Echoing his movement, I caught his wrist.
“No.” Shaking my head, I turned my face away. “That isn’t a good idea.”
“Why not?”
He sounded like a petulant child, and if the circumstances had been different, I might've found it endearing.
“You’re drunk. You’re upset.”
He made a frustrated sound. “I was five seconds away from fucking you a few hours ago. I wasn’t drunk or upset then. Safe to say, that's not why I want you.”
He tugged on my wrist and I looked down at him. His expression changed, the atmosphere shifting. There was a sadness to him now, dangerously close to vulnerability.
“Toni…I don’t want to think anymore. It’s not solving anything and I keep doing stupid things…yelling at you…” He was almost pleading.
He tugged me into his lap, and I was helpless to resist. I groaned as he buried his face between my breasts. Through the material of my shirt, I felt the heat of his breath and an ache pulsed between my thighs. But logic was still in control.
For now.
“This isn't…”
He gripped my thigh, squeezing. His voice was rough. “I think right now, fucking you is the one thing that will keep me from flying apart.”
Shit. My heart nearly stuttered to a stop. Logic continued to scream inside my head, and I cupped his face. I had to take control of the situation.
“This won't solve anything,” I said, my voice shaking. “You'll wake up and Isadora will still be missing. You’ll be half-wondering if you can stand me again.”
“I can stand you just fine.” He wrapped my braid around his hand, using it to hold me so that I couldn't look away. “It’s just hard to look at you and not want to bury my cock in you the second I see you.”
It was like my blood had turned into a river of fire.
This time, when he tugged me closer, I couldn’t resist anymore. And, logic be damned, I didn't want to.
I gasped as his mouth closed over mine, and when his tongue stabbed between my lips, my pussy throbbed in demanding envy.
He was still wearing the thin, dressy trousers from earlier, and I sucked in a breath at how easily I could feel him hardening beneath me.
I wore an old, threadbare T-shirt from college and nothing else, not even panties. Nothing, save what he wore, separated us and it definitely wasn’t enough material. His fingers were nearly frantic in my hair, pulling apart my braid so that my still-damp hair fell in waves down my back. With that accomplished, he caught my hips and dragged me up, then down, rubbing me against him.
I whimpered.
The sound broke through the haze of arousal and some semblance of sanity tried to assert itself. I braced my hands against his shoulders, putting some distance between us. “Ash…”
“Toni,” he said, mimicking my inflection.
He dipped his head, raked his teeth along my neck. When he closed his mouth on the fleshy area where neck met shoulder and started to suck, hunger gathered and pulsed between my thighs. I could feel myself growing wetter. I knew I shouldn't have been so turned on, especially not by this man who made me so angry, but my body had other ideas.
As if he sensed the winning battle, he arched up and started to rock against me.
When he lifted me up and pulled at his trousers, all I did was brace my weight on his shoulders and my knees. I'd made my decision and I wasn't going anywhere. I looked at him, our gazes caught, tangled. Our breaths came in ragged pants and in no time, he had freed himself and he caught my hand, guided it to his cock.
I groaned when I closed my fingers around him. He was just as big and hard as I'd imagined he would be.
“Tell me again how stupid this is,” he said against my lips just before he stole another deep, hungry kiss.
My hair turned into a veil around us, blocking out the world. “It’s so stupid. And I don’t care.”
He lifted me up, and I braced myself. I was wet, but there'd been no other foreplay and he was big. This was going to be intense. With a groan, I sank down on him.
I think I’d been preparing for this almost from the moment I’d seen him at my door, and although I had to fight to take him, it was the sweetest damn battle. But he wasn’t going to let me win it, not my way. I was only half-
way down when he took over, lifting me back up. I groaned and flexed, trying to take control back from him. Even like this, it was a fight between us.
He responded to my attempt by twisting and shifting in a movement so smooth, it took my brain a moment to process it. And, even still half-drunk, a moment was all he needed.
I was on my back a second later, half-leaning over the arm of the couch, and he was crouched between my thighs. His gaze bore into mine as he withdrew, almost completely leaving me. Then, slowly, he dragged his gaze down, as if he could see through the T-shirt neither of us had bothered to discard. I followed his gaze, down over the hard points of my nipples that were clearly visible through the thin cotton. When I saw what he was looking at, my belly contracted, the muscles in my pussy clamping tighter.
He was staring at where we joined, where I was stretched around him, his cock mostly outside of my body, only the swollen head still inside me. I groaned and shuddered, rolled my hips, desperate to draw him inside.
He simply tightened his grip on my hips, making it impossible to move.
“I knew you’d be like this,” Ash said, his voice harsh and hungry.
There was no trace of a slur to his words now. Whether it was the lust or the drinks that I've given him, it didn't matter. He wasn't too drunk to know what he was doing.
“You want to take control.”
He fed me one slow inch, and then retreated. He smiled when I made a sound of protest.
“I control things,” Ash said, staring down at me in challenge.
Nothing had ever made me hotter in my life. Still, I wasn’t one to let a challenge go unmet. I hadn't survived twenty-four years of being a baby sister to four brothers in New York City by having a weak personality.
“You can’t control me.” Keeping my eyes locked on his, I slid a hand down the middle of my torso, stopping only to lightly tease my nipples. When I reached the place where we were joined, he caught my hand. I grinned up at him and used my other one.
He caught that one too. That freed my hips and I arched up, sucking in a breath as he sank a few inches deeper. So good.
A hot light came into his eyes, and he flipped me over onto my knees, driving into me deep and hard before I could catch my breath. It tore a cry from me, one that was as much victory as it was pleasure. But it was a victory I tried to celebrate too soon, because in the next moment, he grabbed my wrists and pulled my arms behind me, securing them at the base of my spine with one large hand.
“Now what are you going to do, Toni?” he demanded, slowing to shallow, short thrusts that only fanned the fire inside me.
It was doing the same to him too, I knew. It was little comfort though, since my entire body was screaming for him to take me. There were times when I enjoyed a little slow and tender love-making.
This wasn't one of them.
I drove myself back against him, making a sound in the back of my throat as he started to fill me.
He grabbed my hip, immobilizing me. He was only half-way inside, but he was still as big as some other lovers I'd had in the past.
“Do you want to come?” he asked.
“You think you can make me beg?”
He laughed and the sound was ragged. “Yes. I can make you beg.”
He surged deep again, hard and fast, three times – almost –
Then he stopped. I was still panting and on the edge of climax when he settled back into that shallow, teasing pattern. I swore and twisted my hips as best I could. If he would only–
He drove into me again, hard, fast. Three thrusts.
Then again, slow, teasing.
“You son of a bitch,” I snarled. Damn bastard.
“Beg.” This time, when he said it, he let go of my hands and grabbed my hair, hauling me up so that my spine pressed against his chest. The pressure on my scalp was electric. Upright now, being so much shorter than him, I was all but impaled on his cock, my knees barely touching the cushion beneath me. I undulated and gasped as the motion had the head of his cock rubbing in almost the right spot. He was so close. A little more to the–
There.
“Toni…”
But I didn’t hear anything else. Lost in the most powerful climax of my life, I was deaf to everything, even the sound of my own ragged moans.
***
Morning came.
I’d kind of figured it would, since the clock had kept ticking away during the night. After the gut-wrenchingly raw sex on the couch, Ash had scooped me up into his arms and staggered his way the few short steps to my tiny bed.
He'd collapsed on the bed, me on top of him…and then he was inside me and it had started all over again. A few minutes after it ended, he staggered upright and went to the bathroom.
When he came out, he dropped beside me and didn’t move again. After a few minutes, I'd gotten up and gone into the bathroom to shower. It was only then that I realized we hadn't used any protection. Fortunately, I'd been on the pill since college – well, since I was sixteen anyway. I could only hope that Ash had been smarter with his other partners than he had been with me. I'd get tested just in case. I hadn't let myself brood on it though. I'd showered and gone back to bed.
That had been five hours ago.
I’d left him alone in the bedroom a few minutes ago and had come out to the living room to, of course, brood.
I’d just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and I knew it.
Ashford Lang might not have been my boss, per se, but he was damn close.
I wasn’t worried so much about any kind of power imbalance there since he didn’t technically have any control over me. Well, maybe he could tell Isadora, but if she ended up firing me because I’d had sex with her brother, I didn’t want to work with her anyway. I was still trying to figure out if I’d stay on even if –
“No if,” I muttered into my coffee. “When. When.”
I’d carve it in concrete if I had to. When she was found, the question was, could I keep working with her? Part of me didn’t want to think about walking away. I'd only known her a week, but I already cared about her. I totally understood that she had to be feeling somewhat smothered, but at the same time, the girl I knew was so…sweet, she’d let herself suffer. She’d deal with her own unhappiness to make others happy and she’d somehow be happy because of it. She'd let me go with some amazing severance package and a smile even if it left her in the lurch.
It was part of what just made her…sweet.
It was also part of what made me determined to think when.
She’d be found.
And when she was…
I gripped my coffee cup and lifted it to my lips.
Could I keep working for her? Knowing that I’d see her brother, day in and day out?
I can stand you just fine. It’s just hard to look at you and not want to bury my cock in you the second I see you.
I was already way too attracted to him.
I already knew he was bad for me, and that was an understatement.
Could I handle being around him if I knew he wanted me the same way I wanted him?
More, if he crooked his finger, would I go running?
A slight sound from the other end of the apartment had me lowering the cup of coffee. I craned my head around and looked down the hallway. That faint noise was all I heard for a few minutes, and I went back to slowly and steadily feeding my need for caffeine.
By the time he came out, I'd poured him a cup and myself a second. He took the mug gratefully, but in silence.
Neither of us said anything.
My phone rang after he’d taken a few sips, and I saw him start for the door.
I couldn't really say I was surprised.
Pissed off, sure.
But surprised?
No.
Unfortunately.
Chapter 4
Toni
The sound of the door closing didn’t so much as hurt as it…echoed.
I could feel it, in a strange, surreal way. I
t echoed all the way down into my soul, and it was still echoing even when I told Victor I needed a few minutes, and could he please call back? I hung up before I heard his reply.
I took advantage of the brief respite and locked myself in the bathroom.
Ash had been in here.
I mean, I'd expected him to use the bathroom, but I hadn't expected to be able to walk in and sense his presence. He was neat, but I could see the telltale signs.
My shampoo wasn’t in the same spot I usually put it. I always left my folded towels with the crease to the right. It was to the left now and slightly askew.
It wasn't anything major, and while I was something of a neat freak, I couldn’t fault the condition he’d left my bathroom in. There were no seats left raised; no toothpaste left in the sink even though I knew he’d used mine. I only knew because I’d left it on the counter late last night when I'd brushed my teeth three times over, as if that would scrub the taste of him from my memory. It was back in the medicine cabinet.
The spare toothbrush I always left in the cabinet was gone.
I made a mental note to buy another one even as I turned on the water and splashed icy wet over my face. It did nothing to cool the heat inside me.
I was still shaking, still unsteady, and still…wanting.
I still wanted him and I wanted to call him.
I didn’t even know his number. I had it somewhere, of course, since part of being Isadora's assistant meant having the numbers of all of the people she might need to contact. Including her brother.
I was also half-sick with worry over Isadora, and if I'd thought the two of us would be able to wait it out together, I would've just asked him to stay. But I knew better.
He couldn’t be around me without wanting to fight with me.
Well, fight me or fuck me.
One or both would put me in a very bad place and I knew it.
He wasn't good for me, no matter how badly I wanted him.
The phone ringing caught me off guard and I let out a startled sound. A quick look at my watch told me that I’d been in the bathroom for nearly twenty minutes.
“Time flies when you’re freaking out,” I muttered.
Grumbling the entire way, I hurried to the landline that sat above my kitchenette counter. I answered it, but didn't get to even finish a hello before my brother was talking.