“Stuart, I need you to tell me whether there is anything you feel you need to tell me. Did something happen? Remember, I am here to help you.”
Stuart turned his head and looked at his therapist, his features expressionless. For a fleeting moment something dark passed over his eyes, something sinister, but it was not lost on Jean, she had seen the dark shadow. For the first time in her career she felt scared. Of course this had been unfounded, her patient had never shown any signs of being aggressive or dangerous, and he was merely a very troubled man who didn’t know how to deal with internal turmoil.
Clearly he was not going to divulge any more details of his life to her today, she closed her notepad, set it beside her on the small side table and got up. The session was over.
After his hour spent with Jean, Stuart decided he needed a drink. Maybe if he got trashed enough, he would be able to sleep through the sounds which haunted him so. He headed for the nearest bar.
The music inside was almost deafening, he had to shout his order over the bar at the young pretty bar-lady. She nodded and smiled as she reached over to the beer fountain and poured him a large mug of ice cold beer. With beer in hand he scanned the room for an empty booth.
“Well hello there handsome.”
The woman was attractive, but clearly had drank one too many. Her words were slurred and almost drawn out. Her eyes were slightly dazed.
“May I join you? I hate to see a handsome man as yourself sitting all alone like this.”
Stuart stood up, manners, one of the life lessons his mother had beaten into him. When a lady joins the table, you stand up. That was accompanied with holding open a door for a woman as well as opening car doors for them. He hated it all. He never understood why it was made such a big deal of. Weren’t woman always fighting for equality and independence? So why did they fight for all those rights just to complain when men finally gave it to them and treated them the same as they would any other man.
“I say, ain’t you just a darling. I sure ain’t had a man show some respect in a while. How quaint.”
What Stuart really felt like doing was telling her that she looked like a tramp. Her abundant breasts were nearly spilling out of her short, tight tank top, he could see a belly ring sticking out from just under the hem of the top. She wore skin tight leather pants, and just above the waistband her thong could be seen. Every once in a while she would tug at them, making sure a loud snap could be heard as it snapped in place.
“Don’t talk much do ya? That’s just hunky dory with me, I sure have enough to say for both of us.”
On and on the woman droned, Stuart merely nodded here and there, gave an odd “yes” or “no”, once in a while an “oh”. All the while his mind was still on the gnawing and chewing. Those Goddamn rodents had influenced his social behavior, not to mention that he was exhausted, sleep had seemed to elude him for so long now that he felt himself nodding off without even realizing it. Before he knew it, time had slipped away. His wristwatch said it was just after two in the morning, and not once had the woman shut her trap.
Finally when he could stand it no longer, he excused himself. Using the fact that he had to work the next day as an escape goat. The woman handed him her number and walked off. As Stuart headed out the door, he could hear her drunken voice droning on once again to some poor sap she had cornered.
*~*~*
Sleep... Sleep.... Nothing. Dark rings could be seen under his eyes. The entire night he had heard the sounds. He had even turned up the television set in order to drown out the sound of the gnawing and chewing and scurrying. His only salvation at this point was coffee. Strong and black. Cup after cup.
As he sat sipping what seemed to be his hundredth cup of coffee, Stuarts mind began to wander. His mother was dressed in a white dress with large red flowers printed on it. On her feet were red high heeled pumps. She wore her long blonde hair loose. Small pearl earrings shimmered in her earlobes. Around her neck was a long string of pearls that had once belonged to her own mother.
His mother had always believed in manners. So much so that she has felt it a necessity to beat it into her son.
“You will always treat a woman as if she were made of pure gold. Do you understand that?”
When Stuart didn’t answer her immediately, she would grab a belt that hung behind the kitchen door and hit him with it, over and over, leaving red welts all over his body. Till he finally whimpered out a “Yes ma’am”.
Satisfied, she would continue with her lesson on how to treat woman.
This is what he believed to be true. He never had a father figure to teach or show him any different. Mother’s word was law.
A sudden glimpse of a memory locked deep within the recesses of his mind had him spill his cup of hot coffee all over his lap.
A small room, rats all around him, his own screams and pleas echoing through his mind. A flash of a blood stained white dress and a string of broken pearls rolling over the floor.
As quick as the memory came, just as quickly did it disappear. He was exhausted after all. His mind must be playing tricks on him. He needed sleep, he needed to rid himself of the noises before he found himself locked up in some mental institute.
*~*~*
“Have the noises stopped yet?”
“No... And it feels like it’s getting louder. That damn exterminator! I’m getting fed up with paying some stranger to come in, and not do his fucking job!”
Stuart slammed his fist angrily on the coffee table in front of him. Another day sharing his inner most secrets with Jean.
“Calm down Stuart. You must realize that an infestation isn’t the exterminators fault. Surely if there was a rodent problem, he would have found it by now?”
He nodded, ashamed at his little outburst. He wasn’t known for having a bad temper. Especially when it came to woman.
“Never raise your voice around a woman, never allow a woman to feel threatened.”
His mother’s words rang in his ears.
He looked at his therapist and for the first time in his life, as far as he could remember, he felt a sudden intense hatred for the opposite sex. He was thirty six and had never had a real, long lasting, meaningful relationship. He knew this was mostly because of his mother. She had tainted his views on so many things, that he hardly knew what fact was and what fiction was anymore.
Before he knew what he was doing, he stood up, crossed the short distance from the sofa he had been occupying to where Jean was seated. He grabbed her by the throat, squeezing as hard as he could. She struggled, and tried to scream, but all that could be heard was choking as her body went limp in his arms. Dead.
*~*~*
The gnawing and chewing sounds were deafening. The rodents were everywhere. Rats of all sizes were scurrying to and fro, chewing wires, gathering food, leaving their droppings all over the place. The young detective had to work with a cloth over his mouth. The stench was unbearable.
In the middle of the small apartment lay the body of Stuart, all chewed up.
“What in God’s name happened here?”
The young officer looked at his partner, who had arrived at the horrendous scene first.
“Well... I-I’m not exactly sure, but it seems like he had tried to chew off his own arms. This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. We found a note clutched tightly in his hand.”
“The noise won’t stop. I’m certain now that it exists only in my head. I killed Jean today, mother would be so disappointed. I remembered where I had heard the sounds before. This had been my punishment. The tiny room filled with rats. The sounds that haunt me, it’s mother, taking out her revenge. I killed her... That fucking bitch! No longer shall I obey, no longer will I allow her to punish me! YOU HEAR ME MOTHER?!”
Both officers merely shook their heads. They had come to arrest Stuart after the therapists body had been discovered by her secretary. He had been the last patient she had seen for the day. Case closed.
*~*~*
<
br /> Dead rats littered the floor. Finally the exterminator had won. The infestation was over. Who would have thought that the crazy man who had once lived here, had actually been right. The rats had invaded an entire building, but had been nesting deep underneath the foundations. This time he had gotten lucky though, after the crazy man’s death, the rodents had been drawn to the smell of death. Maybe, just maybe it had been his insanity that had kept them at bay.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
*~*~*
Karma
Karma has an unknown face. Most people see it several times in their lives but dismiss it as nothing more than de-ja-vu. I believe that’s because most people don’t need to fear Karma. The sins of their pasts isn’t horrific enough to matter. That is, Karma isn’t really searching for them.
Calvin on the other hand, isn’t as lucky. Even when Calvin escaped prison for the second time and managed to make it safely across the Mexican border, Karma followed. It started with a single man at a bar. Three shots of tequila into his night, Calvin stumbled blurred vision and all and approached him.
“Say mister, don’t I know you? I know I know you! I just can’t remember where.” Came his own slurred voice.
“I never seen you in my life Gringo.” Replied the strange little man in a thick Hispanic accent.
Calvin watched as he disappeared beyond the smoky room and past the billiard tables, where he vanished into the outside world and was never seen from again. He dismissed the man from his thoughts and continued with his drinking binge. Things seemed to be going very well for Calvin. Good food, easy money, and a clean slate away from the authorities. He could truly start over and forget his past.
An explosion of sharp pain shot through his shoulder as he tripped over the sidewalk and fell into the thick metal door of his motel room. All he could do is slide to his ass and sit on the cold concrete in shock. He stared at the streetlight and watched as it turned doubles and started to circle itself before his eyes.
Laughter. Hysterical shrill laughter came from his throat. “I am NOT too drunk mister night light, YOU are!”
His laughter receded as he tried to stand once more and failed miserably. Banging his knee on the concrete and staring at the cigarette butts that littered the tiny cracks between the end of the parking lot and the beginning of the sidewalk, Calvin became solemn.
“Okay mister night light, you win. I am drunk! I think I should go home now.”
He closed one eye to keep the streetlight from circling itself and pulled his keys from his pocket. Standing slowly, he held onto the door knob and jabbed at the opening a few times before unlocking the motel room.
“Honey I am home!” he snorted.
Calvin lay upon his bed fully clothed, metal keys still dangling from his index finger when he passed out in a deep drunken coma. He seen the funny little man in his mind’s eye once more. He heard himself telling him he knew him. He knew him he just didn’t know how.
A vision of Jane Mitchell overtook his dreams. Jane Mitchell, the loveliest blonde he ever laid eyes on. Oh how he enjoyed her. He watched himself rape her. Heard her pain, enjoyed her flesh, and felt her salty tears splash on his knuckles. He watched as her chest heaved in and out struggling for breath as Calvin clamped her airway closed. He held on tight until her body became limp under his strong grip.
His dream ended. Darkness. The funny man appeared once more in his mind’s eye. It was his voice that spoke this time.
“You don’t know me but I know you. Your name is Calvin Smith and you are a sick bastard.”
He felt strange. Horrible pressure. Calvin flung his eyes open and struggled for breath but none came. He sat up straight and felt his eyes watering. He stood and rushed for the door, but crippling pain knocked him to his knees. Something was wrong. Very wrong. A stabbing pain came from deep within his own body, a nasty burning. Agony. He felt as if someone shoved a screwdriver deep into his rectum.
He started to see starbursts beyond his line of sight and knew he was about to faint. He rushed into the night air and banged on every door he could. He could hear his own voice screaming in his head, but not a single syllable escaped his lips as he choked and struggled. He was desperate and scared.
Jane Mitchell appeared in his mind once more, this time it was her dead bloated corpse instead of the busty sexy blonde he enjoyed last year.
“It hurts don’t it Calvin.” The corpse flatly stated.
A sheer agonizing pain came from within his body once more and a small puddle of blood appeared on the seat of his blue jeans. A horrid reverberating ringing emanated from his ear drum before his lungs gave up and he blacked out.
He could hear his own thoughts but nothing else.
“Am I dead? Where am I?”
To his surprise a voice answered.
“You are in the emergency room Senor. Can you tell us what happened to you?”
He slowly opened his eyes and flinched at the invasion of bright white light as it entered his pupils.
He stared at the man in disbelief. The dark brown eyes seemed to peer into his soul and bitch slap him hard across his left cheek. He swallowed hard and attempted to focus. The same man from the bar. A doctor?
“Who are you? Why are you following me? What do you want?”
“Take it easy I am a doctor. You were found unresponsive outside of your motel room. Can you tell me what happened?”
The man reached out and placed two fingers on Calvin’s warm flesh, letting it rest just below the boney protuberance of his left wrist.
“DON’T TOUCH ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME! WHO ARE YOU?”
Calvin thrashed back and forth in a panic, knocking over the silver tray and scattering medical paraphernalia all over the white tile floor. Two nurses came rushing into the room slamming the door behind them. Calvin felt the surprisingly strong grip from the Hispanic Doctor wrap effortlessly around his wrists, restraining him.
His eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of the two nurses. Calvin fell deep in thought, attempting to pull fake memories from the dark recesses of his mind. Florida? He has spoken to that redhead before. On the beach two years ago while sipping on an ice cold beer he shared a deep and meaningful conversation with a beautiful woman. Calvin remembers this. He remembers this because he bought that mystery woman’s drinks and was surprised at how she kept up with him. He felt anger towards that woman. After all, he bought the drinks, he was nice to her and she still went back to her motel room alone. HOW DARE SHE!
A liquid sensation. A burning sting. He blinked twice and reality washed over him once more. He watched the long thin metallic needle slide out of his flesh, the tiny hole that was created from the unwanted penetration wept with fluid. Through the foggy haze of his drugged vision he watched the second nurse produce a long clear plastic tube.
He caught a glimpse of the nurses sexy mid drift and felt the tug of de-ja-vu once more. Printed on her milky white abdomen, just below her navel was a familiar image. The image of a fairy smoking a joint. That is something Calvin would never in a million years forget. He knows he has seen it before. He has seen her before. Matter of fact, He has been so close to this woman that he had to have seen the majority of her naked flesh. A one night stand? One drunken night in Vegas? Think Calvin think!
He struggled to open his eyes, his sight seemed to be failing him. Everything was so distant now. It was as if the hospital room stretched for miles and everyone was whispering. Calvin tried to focus all of his senses. The slight whisper of a Hispanic accent rang in his ears. The words made no manner of sense to him.
“We are losing him! Get that tube down his throat, we have to pump his stomach NOW!”
Losing me? I am right here. How can you be losing me? The words couldn’t escape his throat. He tried to focus harder, to see clearer, to yell and actually be heard. He felt the wet nasty burn of vomit build up in his throat. He wanted it to go away. He wanted to spew the vile contents of his stomach but the nausea remained.
Dar
kness. Every sensation ceased to exist in a single moment in time. The black canvas had an indigo splash that seemed to expand exponentially. Calvin could feel a tight knot of fear in his stomach and the many dots of goosebumps creep up his body. Hundreds of people dressed in indigo scrubs appeared from the black nothingness. Men and women from every walk of life stood motionless before his eyes.
Calvin examined them carefully. De-ja-vu. He recognized them all but in a very sinister obscure manner. He watched in disbelief as they vanished one by one in a puff of smoke, leaving behind the putrid smell of death lingering in the air. A single image took long slow strides from the background to the foreground of his mind. He stared at the familiar brown eyes of the man from the bar. The doctor.
When he attempted to speak, he was amazed at how his own voice filled his mind. It boomed and reverberated and expanded and faded as if he was the only person left in the entire world.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“Shh. Just listen.”
Calvin heard a bizarre sound and seen a foggy image of a flat lining machine in a vibrant white room. He heard the familiar words from what seemed like an eternity ago, but the voice and the image didn’t match his short term memory circuits.
“We’re losing him” echoed the deep husky voice of the doctor. He watched as the nurse grabbed the long tube from the drawer. A nurse he has never seen before. An Asian nurse.
The sounds and images faded as quickly as they came and Calvin was once again alone with this strange man.
“It is just you and me now Calvin. I have been chasing you for several years. Waiting. Waiting for the day you would slip up and be mine. It seems all you needed was tequila shots at a bar in Mexico to finally do yourself in.”
The smell of death intensified and seemed to flow directly into his nasal cavity. He swallowed hard and tried to calm his terrified nerves before trying once more.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“You don’t recognize me Calvin? How about now?”
He watched as the funny man changed his appearance. Dozen after dozen men and women took form before his eyes. That sick and twisted sense of De-ja-vu followed with every single reincarnation.
“I am your sins. I am the devil. I am Karma and payback is a bitch!”